Finding the Green Room (The Sutter Family Book 3)

by Heather D'Agostino

  A riot of emotions swirled inside me. I didn’t know how I felt about this. I was happy about the sponsorship. It was something I’d dreamed about since I was a little girl. I was excited for the new journey that it would take me on. I may get an invite to surf Pipe with this type of backing. I was nervous I’d let my fans down. What if Billabong wanted me to take on tricks and competitions that I wasn’t ready for, and I failed? I was scared to return home. Ryan was there, and by going home I was opening myself up to seeing him again.

  I shook my head to rid the thoughts racing around it as I grabbed my board and left for the beach. The water always was my escape when I was younger, and that was something that hadn’t changed.

  ooooooooo

  I spent most of the day in the water. I’ve been trying to land an Aerial for months. Phillip thought I was crazy, but after I saw a guy land one last year, I knew this was a trick I needed to learn. The broken collarbone I suffered last fall was from my first attempt. Since then, I’ve only had a handful of bad wipeouts; the rest have been easy to recover from. I needed something to keep my mind busy because if it wasn’t, all I would think about was him.

  I had no idea what he was doing now, or if he was even still in Wilmington. When I walked away from Ryan that day, I never looked back. We’d spent the better part of our childhood afraid to move forward, and when we finally took a chance, I left. Ryan always said he knew I’d run away, and that’s why he never pushed me for more, but I think somewhere deep inside I always wanted it. I’d admired from afar for so long that when he finally saw me as more than his surfing buddy, I didn’t know what to do with it.

  Would you believe that since I’ve been here I haven’t dated anyone? It’s true. I’ve been to some events with my agent, but never a serious date. I can’t say that they weren’t offered. I’ve had men twice my age approach me, ones with more money than I could ever dream of having. The long blonde hair and great tan have made me look like Malibu Barbie.

  “Still can’t get it, huh?” My only real friend, Griffin, came walking up with his board. Water was dripping from his shaggy brown hair, and he shook his head, raining the droplets down on me.

  “I didn’t even know you were out here,” I murmured as I continued to stare at the waves. I’d come up on the beach after I’d failed for the bazillionth time to land the trick. I was tired, and the warm sun felt good.

  “I could see that. You were in the zone, literally. How the hell did you get right in that spot? They were breaking perfectly for you.” He peeled his wetsuit down to his waist before plopping down beside me.

  “Have a seat.” I swiped my arm out as I rolled my eyes.

  “Don’t mind if I do,” he chuckled as he shook his head again.

  “I’m already wet so I don’t know what you’re trying to do.” I narrowed my eyes at him. The corner of his mouth curved up, and when I realized what I’d just said, I slapped my palm against my forehead. “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

  “Yep.” He laughed as he flung his head back toward the sky. “So Jess,” his brows bobbed, “how wet are you?”

  “You’re a pig.” I shoved him. I met Griff when I first moved out here. He’s two years older than me, and probably my best friend. Our friendship reminds me of the one I had with Ryan, only Griff has a girlfriend. He’s a native Cali boy, and totally in love with her. They live together now, and I’m waiting for him to pop the question.

  “And yet you wanna be my friend.” He laughed harder.

  “I don’t know why.” I sighed.

  “So what’s up?” He elbowed my side. “The only time you kill yourself like that is when something’s bothering you.”

  “I have to go home next week,” I mumbled. “I haven’t been home in three years. My family always comes here for visits, or wherever I’m competing.”

  “What are you running from?” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

  “My ex” I chewed on the inside of my cheek.

  “Weren’t you like sixteen when you left?” Griff pulled back to look at me.

  “Doesn’t matter. You don’t know him.” I shook my head. “Ry and I grew up together. Everyone but us seemed to think we’d marry someday. I hurt him when I left. I’m sure he’s moved on.”

  “You were kids, Jess. Kids do stupid shit. Maybe this is a sign.” He shrugged.

  “You and your signs.” I rolled my eyes at him again. Griff was all about signs. He drove me nuts some days with the way he’d point at something and believe it was a message.

  “Damn right.” He started to stand. “Seeing you here today was a sign.”

  “Oh really?” I peered up at him.

  “Yep. I know I gotta learn something new because you’re going to master my trick soon.” He grinned and winked at me. “Let me know if you want any pointers on what you’re doing wrong.” He stood and tucked his board under his arm. “I gotta go home now. Little lady is waiting for me. She owes me for what I did last night.”

  When my head tipped to the side, he started to talk again, but I held my hand up to stop him. “I don’t wanna know.”

  “You’re right,” he chuckled, “you don’t.” He started to walk away again, but paused and turned to face me, “If this Ryan guy gives you any trouble next week, you call me and tell me. I’ll come kick his ass for you.”

  “Bye Griff.” I waved before turning to stare back out at the water. My stomach grumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten all afternoon. Guess I better head in and make a sandwich or something just like Ryan and I used to do. “Great,” I huffed. As much as I tried to forget him, all the memories were starting to surface. I’d buried Ryan years ago, and now that one phone call was unearthing everything I’d hidden. Maybe I could get a last-minute invite to a competition next weekend, and scrap this whole ‘going home’ idea. That would never happen, but I could dream, right?

  Chapter 6

  Present Day

  Ryan- age 19

  Things have been crazy around here the last few weeks. My sister finally graduated, and my parents have been busy getting ready for her wedding. We’re hosting the rehearsal dinner and the reception here at the house. They’re having a beach wedding, and Emma has been as psycho as my mother when it comes to the planning. I’ve been trying to stay away as much as possible.

  My cousin, Aaron, got me a summer job last year as a lifeguard, and I’ve been requesting to be posted near the pier this year. It keeps me away from home more, and there are more girls down at the pier. My ‘little black book’ has been filling in rather nicely this summer.

  Mom told me yesterday that once Em moves out, I can have her room. It’s bigger, and right across the hall from the bathroom. I think they want to make my room an office or something. I don’t really care. I plan to move out soon anyway. I’ve been taking classes at Wilmington to get my degree in sports medicine. My dad told me I could work for him, but I don’t think I really want to. The only reason I went to school was because my parents threatened to kick me out. I’d always said I was going to go pro. I wanted to surf, and my mom was always supportive of it, but when Jess left it seemed pointless. I tried to get sponsors, but no one seemed to want me and I just couldn’t afford the lifestyle I was living, especially if I had to get a place to live.

  I’ve been looking at apartments, but nothing’s really stood out, so taking over Em’s room seemed like the next best option. I haven’t told her yet, but after the stunt she pulled yesterday I think it’s about time. I doubt I’ll get Liz to go out with me again after the way Emma treated her. She acted like a jealous girlfriend or something. We were making out in my car, and Emma knocked on the window asking if I’d taken my medicine yet. Made some comment about how I was contagious for another week, and Liz jumped away from me like lightning. I assured her Em was lying, but she didn’t believe me. It’s the first time in years that I had to rub one off. Liz had gotten me all worked up, and was just about to slip on top of me, then nothing. It makes me want to brea
k up her and Brock’s wedding night. See how she feels then.

  ooooooooo

  “Mom said I could have your room once you move out.” I stood in the doorway of my sister, Emma’s room. She’d been back home for a month now, though you’d never know it. She’s getting married tomorrow, and she’s spent practically every day at Brock’s. I think they’ve been breaking in his new place. “I’ve got big plans.” I grinned when she finally looked up and acknowledged me.

  “Oh really?” She narrowed her eyes. “What? A few posters with some bimbos, or a home gym? Dad’s not going to let you turn it into a ‘love nest’, you know that, right?”

  “Love nest? Really Em? What kinda guy do you think I am?” I teased. I knew what she meant. She’s caught me plenty of times with a girl. I thought I’d never lose my virginity with the way she had a habit of walking in on me.

  “You’re more creative than that, huh.” She laughed.

  “I’m more careful than that.” I chuckled.

  “So who’s the flavor of the week?” She smirked.

  “What do you take me for?” I scoffed. “I’m not a manwhore.” I slapped my chest, feigning innocence.

  “Right?” She rolled her eyes. “I know that every time I came home from school there was a new one. I will say, at least they had brains.”

  “Speaking of brains.” I chuckled. “Have you met that girl Cade’s been following around?”

  “She’s never going to give him the time of day. She’s too old for him right now anyway.” She laughed.

  “He’ll learn.” I shrugged. Cayden always was a rockhead when it came to women. I think over the years he’s worked hard to keep up with his big bro. Aaron was the ultimate player until he met Melinda. She tamed him just like my sister tamed Brock. “Someone in this family has to keep its reputation alive. Dad is proud of my exploits.”

  “Oh he is, huh?” My dad startled me when he slapped me on the shoulder. “We’re all set for tonight.” He tipped his head toward Em. “I can’t believe my baby is getting married.” He sighed and got this faraway look in his eyes.

  “What about me? I’m your baby too.” I held my arms out.

  “I’m not worried about you. You’ll never marry. You can’t man up and go after your girl.” Dad shrugged before walking away.

  “He’s right you know.” Emma smiled at me.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I sighed.

  “Keep telling yourself that. She’s coming tonight so you better be nice.” She wagged her finger at me.

  “She’s in Cali right now. Didn’t you here? She’s a bigtime surfer. Even Billabong wants her,” I grumbled before turning and leaving her there. I didn’t need Em telling me anything more about Jess. The fact that she was coming tonight was enough for me to deal with. Do you think I’m going to let it bother me though? Nope. Time to find a date for the night. I plan to have a hot little number by my side for when Jessica Ryland shows up tonight. She may be a superstar in the surfing world, but she’s nothing to me.

  As I walked away, I pulled up the address book on my cell. Did I want to just make her jealous, show her I didn’t care, or make her feel the hurt that she caused me? How about all of the above? Was I being immature and spiteful, you bet your ass I was, but I don’t give a fuck.

  My finger scanned the call log until it hovered over Brinley Adams. Bingo, Jess couldn’t stand her when we were younger. She knew Brinley had a thing for me, and Brinley gives good head. If anything, I’ll get a good blowjob out of it.

  “Hey!” Brinley sounded extra chipper when she answered.

  “Hellllo,” I drawled out. “Whatcha doin’ tonight?”

  “You.” She giggled.

  “Good answer.” I chuckled. “I need a favor though first. My parents are having this dinner thing at the house for Em. She’s getting married tomorrow. I need a date for it.” I paused as I waited for her to answer.

  “Sure,” she giggled again, “as long as you fuck me afterwards.”

  “That won’t a problem, honey.” I smirked as I leaned back against the wall in my room. “Wear something that shows off that amazing rack you’ve got.”

  “What are you trying to punish yourself for?” she mused.

  “Nothing. I just want to enjoy looking at you all night. Meet me here at the house around six. I’ll wait out by the front steps.”

  “Sure thing, and Ry…” she paused for effect, “better stock up on the condoms. I plan to keep you busy tomorrow.”

  “Fuck,” I hissed. Brinley was always freaky in the bedroom, and as we got older she got freakier.

  I hung up, and shut my door as I changed into my lifeguard trunks. I had an afternoon shift today, and if I got out of here quick enough I wouldn’t have to help Dad set up chairs. Brock was supposed to be coming over, and so was Aaron. He and Mel were staying at Uncle Cam’s this weekend. They had plenty of help, they didn’t need me… at least that’s what I was telling myself.

  ooooooooo

  Jessica

  When my plane touched down at the Wilmington airport I was a ball of nerves. I hadn’t been back here in three years, and by the looks of things nothing had changed. I wondered how many people would recognize me, and when I stepped off the plane, I kept my head down. It wasn’t like I was an actor or a musician, but I did have my picture all over surfing magazines and the Billabong announcement was made the day before yesterday.

  My brother, Drew, was picking me up, and I scanned the crowd of people, finally seeing him in the back. He smiled as I weaved through the crowd. “Hey.” He slung his arm around my shoulder and gave me one of those sideways guy hugs. “It’s good to see you home again.”

  “Don’t get used to it. I’m leaving in three days.” I laughed as I shoved at his chest. “What’s new?”

  “Why don’t you ask me what you really want to know?” He sighed as we walked together down to baggage claim.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I muttered. I knew he meant Ryan. I knew he knew that I still had feelings for him, and I knew that he knew something that he didn’t want to tell me.

  “You’re going to have to see him, you know that right?” He moved to stand in front of me and gripped my shoulders. “He’s going to be there tonight, Jess. Probably with a date.” He sighed.

  “He has a girlfriend.” I nodded in acceptance. I couldn’t blame him. It had been three years. It would be childish and crazy for me to think that he hadn’t moved on.

  “No.” Drew grimaced. “Not exactly.”

  “So what are you saying?” I narrowed my eyes.

  “I don’t think he’s had a girlfriend in a while. He’s kinda turned dating into a sport.” He wrapped me in a hug as he whispered, “He makes Aaron look celibate, Jess.” I stiffened as he hugged me tighter. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s ok,” I sniffed as I pushed back out of his embrace. “I left. He can do what he wants.” I shrugged as I stepped up to the conveyor and grabbed my bag.

  “Oh, he’s definitely doing what he wants, or I should say ‘who’ he wants. I just want you to be ready tonight. Don’t let him get to you.” He nudged my shoulder.

  “I’ll be fine.” I forced a smile. “So, how’s Jodi?” I quickly changed the subject back to him. Drew got married a few years ago, and his wife Jodi had a small scare with breast cancer.

  “She’s doing great. We’re going to try and start a family soon.” He smiled and I could tell he was really excited.

  “I never thought I’d see you this excited over being a dad. Hell, I never thought you’d settle down.” I laughed. Drew was such a player in college. When he met Jodi I didn’t think they’d last, but she made him settle down. They really are great for one another, and now I couldn’t see him with anyone else. Maybe there was hope for Ryan after all.

  “I know what you’re thinking, and I’m sorry but he’s not ready to settle.” Drew tossed my bag in the back of his car as we climbed in. “It may take him a while to figure o
ut what he wants. I don’t think he’s grown up yet.”

  “I wasn’t thinking that at all,” I lied.

  “Liar!” He barked out a laugh. “You still suck at that by the way.”

  “I hate you.” I pouted.

  “I hate you too.” He shoved me as we pulled onto the highway and headed toward my parents’ house.

  The closer we got to the water, the faster my heart beat. It was like the ocean called to me. Whenever I was near it, I could feel its pull. No one ever believed me, but I believe I was a fish in another life. When we pulled onto Ocean Drive, I stared out at the water. I could see it breaking on the beach in between the rows of houses. As we neared the private section that we lived on along with the Sutters and a few others, the houses became farther apart. More beach was visible, and my feet itched to touch it. The water was what kept me calm when my head was churning, and my heart ached. I searched the water to see if I could see him bobbing on his board, but other than a few kids, the beach was empty. As if he could read my mind, Drew filled in, “He’s not out there. He’s working today.” My head snapped in his direction before quickly going back to the water. “He’s a lifeguard down at tower six.” I nodded that I heard him before zeroing in on the breaking line. The waves were stacked today. A perfect day to surf, and I knew as soon as my feet hit the sand, I’d be out there. I needed to clear my head and prepare to harden my heart for the beating it was going to take tonight. I was sure to get worked, and it wasn’t going to be by a wave; this time Ryan would be the force behind it.

  Chapter 7

  Jessica

  The water is my happy place. It always has been, and it always will be. Anytime I’ve had to clear my head, it’s where I go. The solitude I find sitting on my board, out past the breakers is nonexistent anywhere else.

  When Drew dropped me off, my parents knew I needed to clear my head. They hugged me, welcomed me home, and took my bags to my room as I went out to stand on the sand. I watched as the waves lapped at the beach. A few kids played in the distance, but for the most part it was quiet. My head swirled with thoughts of what was going to happen in the next twenty-four hours. I could hide here today, but I’d have to face him soon. Ryan. Just thinking about it made my head hurt.