Ttfn
Page 13
SnowAngel:
hmm, i think i’ll give him a ring-a-ling. *wink, wink*
Sun, Jan 2, 10:54 AM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
oh crap. oh crap crap crap!
zoegirl:
have you talked to angela today?
mad maddie:
yesterday, but not today. why?
zoegirl:
did you tell her about me and doug? and don’t lie!
mad maddie:
chill! i didn’t tell her, i swear.
zoegirl:
then how did she know? why did she pick last night, of all the nights in the world, to suddenly ring doug up and offer herself to him? huh???
mad maddie:
what r u talking about?
zoegirl:
she drank some champagne and got all sappy watching “Pitch Perfect,” from what i can tell. and then she called up doug, out of the blue, and said things like, “hey, doug. do you miss me? because i miss you!” and “if you were here, i would kiss you. i should have a long time ago!”
mad maddie:
how do u know all this?
mad maddie:
oh. cuz doug told u.
mad maddie:
this is NOT good
zoegirl:
you think?
zoegirl:
and now doug’s all weirded out because it was obvious to him that angela didn’t know about us, because if she did then why would she be hitting on him, and he doesn’t understand why i haven’t told her.
zoegirl:
and angela … well, who knows how she’s doing.
zoegirl:
crap, crap, crap!
mad maddie:
i warned u that this was gonna happen. u know i did.
zoegirl:
could u possibly say something the least bit supportive? i didn’t plan this. it just happened!
mad maddie:
sure, that’s what U say, cuz ur the one who screwed up. can i just tell u how happy i am that it’s u for once and not me?
zoegirl:
you know what? you’re not helping. it’s like … it’s like you’re *enjoying* this!
mad maddie:
i’m not “enjoying” it, zoe. get real.
zoegirl:
i’ve got to go. this is so messed up.
mad maddie:
wait! what did doug say to angela after she threw herself at him? u never told me!
zoegirl:
and i’m not going to. you’d just find some way to make fun of me.
mad maddie:
zoe!!!!!!
Sun, Jan 2, 11:13 AM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
hi, angela. it’s me, your friend, who is so so sorry about … u know.
zoegirl:
i saw your tweet about how california sucks, but at least it isn’t full of big fat liars. i assume i’m the big fat liar you’re talking about?
zoegirl:
but angela …
zoegirl:
aaargh
zoegirl:
i should have told you about me and doug. i know that. but i just … i don’t know.
zoegirl:
anyway, nothing *had* happened between doug and me when you and i talked about it, so i wasn’t actually lying. and the only reason i didn’t mention it later is because i didn’t wanna hurt you.
zoegirl:
and come on, if you hadn’t been so jealous in the first place …
zoegirl:
never mind
zoegirl:
i’m sorry, angela. i really am.
Sun, Jan 2, 8:20 AM P.S.T.
SnowAngel:
i just got the lamest series of texts from zoe, which of course i didn’t bother to reply to. did she tell u what happened? with doug?
mad maddie:
yes, she told me that u’ve been a very naughty girl. did u drink and dial, young lady????
SnowAngel:
WHAT?
SnowAngel:
this is NOT about me. it’s about ZOE! i’m never gonna forgive her as long as i live.
mad maddie:
well, we both know that’s not true. but we can pretend if you like.
SnowAngel:
i’m serious, maddie. she’s all, “i didn’t wanna hurt u, blah, blah, blah,” but come on. am i so needy and pathetic that i can’t even handle the truth?
mad maddie:
hmm. do u really want me to answer that?
SnowAngel:
she even had the nerve to blame it on me! cuz i was “jealous,” and that’s why she didn’t tell me about her and doug. is that not the most ridiculous thing u’ve ever heard?
mad maddie:
yes, it’s the most ridiculous thing i’ve ever heard, and yes, she should have told u. i told her that a thousand times. and now she’s completely freaked that ur mad, but i told her, “sorry, zo, u brought it on yourself.”
SnowAngel:
thank u. i needed to hear that. i mean, it would have been different if
SnowAngel:
wait a minute—U knew too?
mad maddie:
about zoe and doug? uh …
SnowAngel:
u knew they were a couple and u didn’t tell me?!!!!
SnowAngel:
omg, how long has this been going on???
mad maddie:
now listen. IT WASN’T MY PLACE TO TELL. i told zoe she was screwing up, but that was her decision. i’m not her mommy, angela. i’m not either of your mommies.
SnowAngel:
nice, maddie. try and shift the responsibility. do u not have any conscience at all?
SnowAngel:
obviously not, or u wld have told your best friend that yr other best friend was dating a certain person who someone else still happened to like!
mad maddie:
that’s crap, angela. u didn’t like doug. u just liked him liking u.
SnowAngel:
that’s so not true! why is everybody ganging up on me?
SnowAngel:
i told zoe i was glad i moved to california, and guess what? i thoroughly and completely mean it!
Sun, Jan 2, 11:45 AM E.S.T.
mad maddie:
well, i talked to angela.
zoegirl:
and?!!
mad maddie:
she’s mad as hell. ur at the top of her shit list, my friend.
zoegirl:
ah, crap.
zoegirl:
i’m so stupid! stupid, stupid, stupid!
mad maddie:
no comment
mad maddie:
r u ever gonna tell me what doug said to her, after she said all that about kissing him?
zoegirl:
he got really nervous, that’s all. he blurted out something like, “angela, i’m dating zoe. didn’t she tell u?”
mad maddie:
he said that out loud? that u 2 r dating?
zoegirl:
well, yeah. and that part was totally sweet. but i doubt it made angela feel any better, since even he assumed i’d told her.
mad maddie:
u r so screwed
zoegirl:
i know
mad maddie:
well, nothing i can do about it. i’m off to meet chive. laters!
Mon, Jan 3, 3:30 PM E.S.T.
zoegirl:
angela, are you ready to talk to me yet?
zoegirl:
angela, come on. i know you’re there. and don’t you remember when maddie stonewalled us like this last year, after everything fell apart with jana? i can’t believe you’re doing the same thing.
zoegirl:
*please* don’t be this way.
zoegirl:
call me!!!
Mon, Jan 3, 6:01 PM P.S.T.
SnowAngel:
hi, mads. i am SO not psyched to be me right now.
mad maddie:
why? cuz yr still feuding with zoe?
SnowAngel:
god, who even cares
SnowAngel:
but yeah, i guess so, if by that u mean am i still mad at her. altho what makes me even madder is that i don’t WANT to be mad at her. how pathetic is that?
mad maddie:
why don’t u wanna be mad anymore?
SnowAngel:
cuz even tho i hate her right now, i miss her too. *scowls and kicks over trash can*
mad maddie:
so get over yourself, freak. u BOTH need to get over yourselves.
SnowAngel:
whatever
SnowAngel:
anyway, tomorrow’s my 1st day at El Cerrito High. i’m nervous.
mad maddie:
don’t be. u’ll be fine.
SnowAngel:
what if no one likes me? what if no one talks to me?
mad maddie:
well, there’s always glendy. maybe u’ll have adjoining lockers.
SnowAngel:
oh thx
SnowAngel:
it’s so unfair that i have to be starting over in my junior year.
mad maddie:
i agree. u belong back here with us.
SnowAngel:
IS there still an “us”?
mad maddie:
wtf?
SnowAngel:
u and me and zoe. are we still an “us”?
SnowAngel:
nvm
SnowAngel:
so what shld i wear tomorrow??? shld i be cool and casual or sleek and sophisticated?
mad maddie:
christ, angela, i don’t know. wear whatever u want.
SnowAngel:
when we were in the city, my mom bought me this off-the-shoulder sweater that i wear with a tank top underneath. i call it my slutwear, cuz it’s pretty tight. and cuz of the shoulder thing. do u think i have good shoulders?
mad maddie:
uh …
SnowAngel:
she also bought me this fuzzy white sweater with three-quarter-length sleeves. i call that one my kate upton sweater cuz it makes my boobs look ginormous. (well, ginormous for a 34B)
mad maddie:
good god
SnowAngel:
so which should i wear??? cuz even tho my life sucks, i do wanna make a good impression.
mad maddie:
a slutty impression?
SnowAngel:
NO. *narrows eyes* hot, but classy. not like a woman of the night.
mad maddie:
zoe’s worried that doug thinks she’s a woman of the night. isn’t that hysterical? apparently the two of them got down and dirty in doug’s church’s basement, and things went further than zoe intended.
SnowAngel:
maddie!
SnowAngel:
stop and think for one single second. do u really think i wanna hear this?
mad maddie:
ur telling me u don’t?
SnowAngel:
just how down and dirty did they get? and why were they in the church basement?
mad maddie:
i thought u didn’t wanna hear!
SnowAngel:
i don’t. *puts hands over ears*
SnowAngel:
it’s just, why is he getting down and dirty with zoe instead of me?
mad maddie:
why do u think? cuz u never acted the slightest bit interested in him until after zoe got interested. that’s why this whole fight is so ridiculous.
SnowAngel:
okay. awesome. thx for nothing!!!
Mon, Jan 3, 9:55 PM E.S.T.
mad maddie:
ok, angela, here’s something to cheer u up. it’s Professor Poopypants’ Name Change-O-Chart 2000. u type in your name and it spits back your new “silly” name. wanna hear yours?
SnowAngel:
is this your peace offering?
mad maddie:
your silly name is “stinky pizzabuns,” and i’m “pinky pottybutt.” i love it.
SnowAngel:
not that i care … but what’s zoe’s?
mad maddie:
she’s got the best of all. “zsa zsa toiletsniffer.”
SnowAngel:
hmmph
SnowAngel:
should i introduce myself tomorrow as “stinky pizzabuns,” do u think?
mad maddie:
angela, that would be so awesome. u should, u totally should!
SnowAngel:
uh … no
mad maddie:
why not? it’s a chance to be a whole new u!
SnowAngel:
i don’t wanna be a whole new me! i just wanna be the normal old me, but how can i do that if no one even knows who i am?!!
Mon, Jan 3, 10:00 PM E.S.T.
mad maddie:
zsa zsa, hey. i just talked to angela, and she is seriously un-stoked about her new school.
zoegirl:
maddie! i’m so glad u texted. i’ve been feeling lonely. but why did u call me zsa zsa?
mad maddie:
no reason. so when r u guys gonna get over this stupid fight?
zoegirl:
*i’m* not fighting. *she* is. and you’re right, it’s stupid. i left her a message on her voicemail earlier today, and i was like, “angela, come on. in the grand scheme of things, this is not that big a deal.”
mad maddie:
i bet that made her feel validated
zoegirl:
i just meant that our friendship is stronger than this. and i’ve sent her tons of emails, since she won’t respond to my texts or my calls.
mad maddie:
she’s weakening. i can tell.
zoegirl:
i dunno, but i hope so. guess i’ll try her again tomorrow.
Tues, Jan 4, 4:37 PM P.S.T.
SnowAngel:
I HATE EL CERRITO HIGH SO MUCH!!!
mad maddie:
ah, shit. what happened, a?
SnowAngel:
they have METAL DETECTORS, maddie. everyone has to line up and walk thru this security gate, with an armed guard standing right there. it is so so so different from atlanta. it’s terrible.
mad maddie:
ick, that would freak me out.
SnowAngel:
and they’ve got all these stupid rules, like “4 Bs and a U”
mad maddie:
wtf?
SnowAngel:
it’s their dress code. no breasts, bellies, backs, or butts, and no underwear. meaning, u can’t have any of those things exposed. this guy in my homeroom goes, “it’s like we’re under control of Al-Qaeda, man.” and my homeroom teacher, whom i hate, goes, “yes, only we won’t skin u alive. the word for that is ‘flay,’ by the way.”
SnowAngel:
what a wanker
mad maddie:
what about the kids? u meet anyone cool?
SnowAngel:
no. not a single person talked to me except glendy (who was wearing high-rise jeans, fyi) (ALSO, fyi, while I know that some ppl claim that high-rise is back in … NO. not on glendy.) she glommed onto me like we were best buds, and i could see everyone looking at me and going, “L-O-S-E-R.” *puts L on forehead*
mad maddie:
u’ve gotta ditch the glendinizer, angela
SnowAngel:
yeah, but how???
SnowAngel:
she gave me a little plastic Care Bear to clip onto my backpack! i tried to stuff it in the bottom compartment, and she pulled it right back out again and clipped it onto the zipper!
mad maddie:
egad
mad maddie:
which care bear is it?
SnowAngel:
Friend Bear!
SnowAngel:
SHE IS NOT MY FRIEND!!!
mad maddie:
lose the glendinizer, that’s all i can say
SnowAngel:
gee, thanks, ur a big help
mad maddie:
chin up, angela. this was only
your first day—things’ll get better.
SnowAngel:
if they don’t, i don’t know what i’ll do
mad maddie:
well, were there any cute guys?
SnowAngel:
no
mad maddie:
any fun teachers?
SnowAngel:
no
mad maddie:
any good snack machines, for god’s sake?
SnowAngel:
they sell apples and raisins and granola bars, maddie. *bares teeth in horrid semblance of a smile*