A Tramp Abroad — Volume 01

by Mark Twain

  "Sir," --and went on with his discourse.

  It is said that the vast majority of the Heidelberg students are hardworkers, and make the most of their opportunities; that they haveno surplus means to spend in dissipation, and no time to spare forfrolicking. One lecture follows right on the heels of another, with verylittle time for the student to get out of one hall and into the next;but the industrious ones manage it by going on a trot. The professorsassist them in the saving of their time by being promptly in theirlittle boxed-up pulpits when the hours strike, and as promptly out againwhen the hour finishes. I entered an empty lecture-room one day justbefore the clock struck. The place had simple, unpainted pine desks andbenches for about two hundred persons.

  About a minute before the clock struck, a hundred and fifty studentsswarmed in, rushed to their seats, immediately spread open theirnotebooks and dipped their pens in ink. When the clock began to strike,a burly professor entered, was received with a round of applause, movedswiftly down the center aisle, said "Gentlemen," and began to talk as heclimbed his pulpit steps; and by the time he had arrived in his box andfaced his audience, his lecture was well under way and all the pens weregoing. He had no notes, he talked with prodigious rapidity andenergy for an hour--then the students began to remind him in certainwell-understood ways that his time was up; he seized his hat, stilltalking, proceeded swiftly down his pulpit steps, got out the last wordof his discourse as he struck the floor; everybody rose respectfully,and he swept rapidly down the aisle and disappeared. An instant rush forsome other lecture-room followed, and in a minute I was alone with theempty benches once more.

  Yes, without doubt, idle students are not the rule. Out of eight hundredin the town, I knew the faces of only about fifty; but these I saweverywhere, and daily. They walked about the streets and the woodedhills, they drove in cabs, they boated on the river, they sipped beerand coffee, afternoons, in the Schloss gardens. A good many of them worecolored caps of the corps. They were finely and fashionably dressed,their manners were quite superb, and they led an easy, careless,comfortable life. If a dozen of them sat together and a lady or agentleman passed whom one of them knew and saluted, they all roseto their feet and took off their caps. The members of a corps alwaysreceived a fellow-member in this way, too; but they paid no attentionto members of other corps; they did not seem to see them. This was nota discourtesy; it was only a part of the elaborate and rigid corpsetiquette.

  There seems to be no chilly distance existing between the Germanstudents and the professor; but, on the contrary, a companionableintercourse, the opposite of chilliness and reserve. When the professorenters a beer-hall in the evening where students are gathered together,these rise up and take off their caps, and invite the old gentleman tosit with them and partake. He accepts, and the pleasant talk and thebeer flow for an hour or two, and by and by the professor, properlycharged and comfortable, gives a cordial good night, while the studentsstand bowing and uncovered; and then he moves on his happy way homewardwith all his vast cargo of learning afloat in his hold. Nobody findsfault or feels outraged; no harm has been done.

  It seemed to be a part of corps etiquette to keep a dog or so, too.I mean a corps dog--the common property of the organization, like thecorps steward or head servant; then there are other dogs, owned byindividuals.

  On a summer afternoon in the Castle gardens, I have seen six studentsmarch solemnly into the grounds, in single file, each carrying a brightChinese parasol and leading a prodigious dog by a string. It was a veryimposing spectacle. Sometimes there would be as many dogs around thepavilion as students; and of all breeds and of all degrees of beauty andugliness. These dogs had a rather dry time of it; for they were tiedto the benches and had no amusement for an hour or two at a time exceptwhat they could get out of pawing at the gnats, or trying to sleep andnot succeeding. However, they got a lump of sugar occasionally--theywere fond of that.

  It seemed right and proper that students should indulge in dogs; buteverybody else had them, too--old men and young ones, old women andnice young ladies. If there is one spectacle that is unpleasanter thananother, it is that of an elegantly dressed young lady towing a dog by astring. It is said to be the sign and symbol of blighted love. It seemsto me that some other way of advertising it might be devised, whichwould be just as conspicuous and yet not so trying to the proprieties.

  It would be a mistake to suppose that the easy-going pleasure-seekingstudent carries an empty head. Just the contrary. He has spent nineyears in the gymnasium, under a system which allowed him no freedom, butvigorously compelled him to work like a slave. Consequently, he has leftthe gymnasium with an education which is so extensive and complete, thatthe most a university can do for it is to perfect some of its profounderspecialties. It is said that when a pupil leaves the gymnasium, he notonly has a comprehensive education, but he KNOWS what he knows--it isnot befogged with uncertainty, it is burnt into him so that it willstay. For instance, he does not merely read and write Greek, but speaksit; the same with the Latin. Foreign youth steer clear of the gymnasium;its rules are too severe. They go to the university to put a mansardroof on their whole general education; but the German student alreadyhas his mansard roof, so he goes there to add a steeple in the nature ofsome specialty, such as a particular branch of law, or diseases of theeye, or special study of the ancient Gothic tongues. So this Germanattends only the lectures which belong to the chosen branch, and drinkshis beer and tows his dog around and has a general good time the rest ofthe day. He has been in rigid bondage so long that the large libertyof the university life is just what he needs and likes and thoroughlyappreciates; and as it cannot last forever, he makes the most of itwhile it does last, and so lays up a good rest against the day that mustsee him put on the chains once more and enter the slavery of official orprofessional life.

  CHAPTER V

  At the Students' Dueling-Ground

  [Dueling by Wholesale]

  One day in the interest of science my agent obtained permission to bringme to the students' dueling-place. We crossed the river and drove upthe bank a few hundred yards, then turned to the left, entered a narrowalley, followed it a hundred yards and arrived at a two-story publichouse; we were acquainted with its outside aspect, for it was visiblefrom the hotel. We went upstairs and passed into a large whitewashedapartment which was perhaps fifty feet long by thirty feet wide andtwenty or twenty-five high. It was a well-lighted place. There was nocarpet. Across one end and down both sides of the room extended a row oftables, and at these tables some fifty or seventy-five students [1. SeeAppendix C] were sitting.

  Some of them were sipping wine, others were playing cards, others chess,other groups were chatting together, and many were smoking cigaretteswhile they waited for the coming duels. Nearly all of them wore coloredcaps; there were white caps, green caps, blue caps, red caps, andbright-yellow ones; so, all the five corps were present in strongforce. In the windows at the vacant end of the room stood six or eight,narrow-bladed swords with large protecting guards for the hand, andoutside was a man at work sharpening others on a grindstone.

  He understood his business; for when a sword left his hand one couldshave himself with it.

  It was observable that the young gentlemen neither bowed to nor spokewith students whose caps differed in color from their own. This did notmean hostility, but only an armed neutrality. It was considered thata person could strike harder in the duel, and with a more earnestinterest, if he had never been in a condition of comradeship with hisantagonist; therefore, comradeship between the corps was not permitted.At intervals the presidents of the five corps have a cold officialintercourse with each other, but nothing further. For example, when theregular dueling-day of one of the corps approaches, its president callsfor volunteers from among the membership to offer battle; three or morerespond--but there must not be less than three; the president lays theirnames before the other presidents, with the request that they furnishantagonists for these challengers from among their corps. This ispromptly done. I
t chanced that the present occasion was the battle-dayof the Red Cap Corps. They were the challengers, and certain caps ofother colors had volunteered to meet them. The students fight duels inthe room which I have described, TWO DAYS IN EVERY WEEK DURING SEVENAND A HALF OR EIGHT MONTHS IN EVERY YEAR. This custom had continued inGermany two hundred and fifty years.

  To return to my narrative. A student in a white cap met us andintroduced us to six or eight friends of his who also wore white caps,and while we stood conversing, two strange-looking figures were led infrom another room. They were students panoplied for the duel. They werebareheaded; their eyes were protected by iron goggles which projected aninch or more, the leather straps of which bound their ears flat againsttheir heads were wound around and around with thick wrappings whicha sword could not cut through; from chin to ankle they were paddedthoroughly against injury; their arms were bandaged and rebandaged,layer upon layer, until they looked like solid black logs. These weirdapparitions had been handsome youths, clad in fashionable attire,fifteen minutes before, but now they did not resemble any beings oneever sees unless in nightmares. They strode along, with their armsprojecting straight out from their bodies; they did not hold them outthemselves, but fellow-students walked beside them and gave the neededsupport.

  There was a rush for the vacant end of the room, now, and we followedand got good places. The combatants were placed face to face, each withseveral members of his own corps about him to assist; two seconds, wellpadded, and with swords in their hands, took their stations; a studentbelonging to neither of the opposing corps placed himself in a goodposition to umpire the combat; another student stood by with a watch anda memorandum-book to keep record of the time and the number and natureof the wounds; a gray-haired surgeon was present with his lint, hisbandages, and his instruments.

  After a moment's pause the duelists saluted the umpire respectfully,then one after another the several officials stepped forward, gracefullyremoved their caps and saluted him also, and returned to their places.Everything was ready now; students stood crowded together in theforeground, and others stood behind them on chairs and tables. Everyface was turned toward the center of attraction.

  The combatants were watching each other with alert eyes; a perfectstillness, a breathless interest reigned. I felt that I was going tosee some wary work. But not so. The instant the word was given, the twoapparitions sprang forward and began to rain blows down upon each otherwith such lightning rapidity that I could not quite tell whether I sawthe swords or only flashes they made in the air; the rattling din ofthese blows as they struck steel or paddings was something wonderfullystirring, and they were struck with such terrific force that I could notunderstand why the opposing sword was not beaten down under the assault.Presently, in the midst of the sword-flashes, I saw a handful of hairskip into the air as if it had lain loose on the victim's head and abreath of wind had puffed it suddenly away.

  The seconds cried "Halt!" and knocked up the combatants' swords withtheir own. The duelists sat down; a student official stepped forward,examined the wounded head and touched the place with a sponge once ortwice; the surgeon came and turned back the hair from the wound--andrevealed a crimson gash two or three inches long, and proceeded to bindan oval piece of leather and a bunch of lint over it; the tally-keeperstepped up and tallied one for the opposition in his book.

  Then the duelists took position again; a small stream of blood wasflowing down the side of the injured man's head, and over his shoulderand down his body to the floor, but he did not seem to mind this. Theword was given, and they plunged at each other as fiercely as before;once more the blows rained and rattled and flashed; every few momentsthe quick-eyed seconds would notice that a sword was bent--then theycalled "Halt!" struck up the contending weapons, and an assistingstudent straightened the bent one.

  The wonderful turmoil went on--presently a bright spark sprung froma blade, and that blade broken in several pieces, sent one of itsfragments flying to the ceiling. A new sword was provided and the fightproceeded. The exercise was tremendous, of course, and in time thefighters began to show great fatigue. They were allowed to rest amoment, every little while; they got other rests by wounding each other,for then they could sit down while the doctor applied the lint andbandages. The law is that the battle must continue fifteen minutes ifthe men can hold out; and as the pauses do not count, this duel wasprotracted to twenty or thirty minutes, I judged. At last it was decidedthat the men were too much wearied to do battle longer. They were ledaway drenched with crimson from head to foot. That was a good fight, butit could not count, partly because it did not last the lawful fifteenminutes (of actual fighting), and partly because neither man wasdisabled by his wound. It was a drawn battle, and corps law requiresthat drawn battles shall be refought as soon as the adversaries are wellof their hurts.

  During the conflict, I had talked a little, now and then, with a younggentleman of the White Cap Corps, and he had mentioned that he was tofight next--and had also pointed out his challenger, a young gentlemanwho was leaning against the opposite wall smoking a cigarette andrestfully observing the duel then in progress.

  My acquaintanceship with a party to the coming contest had the effect ofgiving me a kind of personal interest in it; I naturally wished he mightwin, and it was the reverse of pleasant to learn that he probably wouldnot, because, although he was a notable swordsman, the challenger washeld to be his superior.

  The duel presently began and in the same furious way which had markedthe previous one. I stood close by, but could not tell which blows toldand which did not, they fell and vanished so like flashes of light. Theyall seemed to tell; the swords always bent over the opponents' heads,from the forehead back over the crown, and seemed to touch, all theway; but it was not so--a protecting blade, invisible to me, was alwaysinterposed between. At the end of ten seconds each man had struck twelveor fifteen blows, and warded off twelve or fifteen, and no harm done;then a sword became disabled, and a short rest followed whilst a new onewas brought. Early in the next round the White Corps student got an uglywound on the side of his head and gave his opponent one like it. In thethird round the latter received another bad wound in the head, and theformer had his under-lip divided. After that, the White Corps studentgave many severe wounds, but got none of the consequence in return.At the end of five minutes from the beginning of the duel the surgeonstopped it; the challenging party had suffered such injuries that anyaddition to them might be dangerous. These injuries were a fearfulspectacle, but are better left undescribed. So, against expectation, myacquaintance was the victor.

  CHAPTER VI

  [A Sport that Sometimes Kills]

  The third duel was brief and bloody. The surgeon stopped it when he sawthat one of the men had received such bad wounds that he could not fightlonger without endangering his life.

  The fourth duel was a tremendous encounter; but at the end of five orsix minutes the surgeon interfered once more: another man so severelyhurt as to render it unsafe to add to his harms. I watched thisengagement as I watched the others--with rapt interest and strongexcitement, and with a shrink and a shudder for every blow that laidopen a cheek or a forehead; and a conscious paling of my face when Ioccasionally saw a wound of a yet more shocking nature inflicted.My eyes were upon the loser of this duel when he got his last andvanquishing wound--it was in his face and it carried away his--but nomatter, I must not enter into details. I had but a glance, and thenturned quickly, but I would not have been looking at all if I had knownwhat was coming. No, that is probably not true; one thinks he would notlook if he knew what was coming, but the interest and the excitement areso powerful that they would doubtless conquer all other feelings; andso, under the fierce exhilaration of the clashing steel, he would yieldand look after all. Sometimes spectators of these duels faint--and itdoes seem a very reasonable thing to do, too.

  Both parties to this fourth duel were badly hurt so much that thesurgeon was at work upon them nearly or quite an hour--a fact which issuggestive. But this wa
iting interval was not wasted in idleness bythe assembled students. It was past noon, therefore they ordered theirlandlord, downstairs, to send up hot beefsteaks, chickens, and suchthings, and these they ate, sitting comfortable at the several tables,whilst they chatted, disputed and laughed. The door to the surgeon'sroom stood open, meantime, but the cutting, sewing, splicing, andbandaging going on in there in plain view did not seem to disturbanyone's appetite. I went in and saw the surgeon labor awhile, but couldnot enjoy; it was much less trying to see the wounds given and receivedthan to see them mended; the stir and turmoil, and the music of thesteel, were wanting here--one's nerves were wrung by this grislyspectacle, whilst the duel's compensating pleasurable thrill waslacking.

  Finally the doctor finished, and the men who were to fight the closingbattle of the day came forth. A good many dinners were not completed,yet, but no matter, they could be eaten cold, after the battle;therefore everybody crowded forth to see. This was not a love duel, buta "satisfaction" affair. These two students had quarreled, and were hereto settle it. They did not belong to any of the corps, but they werefurnished with weapons and armor, and permitted to fight here by thefive corps as a courtesy. Evidently these two young men were unfamiliarwith the dueling ceremonies, though they were not unfamiliar with thesword. When they were placed in position they thought it was timeto begin--and then did begin, too, and with a most impetuous energy,without waiting for anybody to give the word. This vastly amused thespectators, and even broke down their studied and courtly gravity andsurprised them into laughter. Of course the seconds struck up the swordsand started the duel over again. At the word, the deluge of blows began,but before long the surgeon once more interfered--for the only reasonwhich ever permits him to interfere--and the day's war was over. It wasnow two in the afternoon, and I had been present since half past nine inthe morning. The field of battle was indeed a red one by this time;but some sawdust soon righted that. There had been one duel before Iarrived. In it one of the men received many injuries, while the otherone escaped without a scratch.