Hooked on You

by Jenn Matthews

  They chose their main courses, and Ollie ordered a bottle of red for them to share. She was pleased when Anna squinted and smiled.

  “We can have something else, you know,” Anna said when the waiter left the table. “I do drink other things.”

  “But you really like Merlot.” Ollie ran her thumb over the back of Anna’s hand. “And these days I find I like it too.” Their eyes locked, and Ollie wondered how she’d ever got through a day without seeing Anna smile. “You look stunning tonight, by the way.” Her heart was pounding. Ollie would have not dared say that on a date with someone before. She makes me feel so brave.

  As she tucked a curl behind her ear, Anna lifted her hand as though she was going to touch her face. Her fingers hovered for a moment, then fell, and red tinged her cheeks.

  “So do you,” Anna replied, tilting her head to one side, her earrings twinkling from below her hair. “That blouse is very flattering.”

  “I…I went shopping.” Ollie dropped her gaze to her empty place setting.

  “Did you?” Anna said. “Well, what a good choice. You have great taste.”

  Their wine arrived, and after Anna tasted it, she lifted her glass in salute. “Great taste in wine too.”

  Ollie clinked her glass against Anna’s. “Thank you.”

  “So,” Anna began, her eyelashes lowered, “I was going to ask. What are your plans for Christmas?”

  Ollie grimaced and then chewed her lip.

  Anna squeezed Ollie’s fingers. Ollie wished she could take back the grimace and hoped Anna didn’t feel sorry for her.

  “Nothing,” Ollie replied, her free hand idly poking at the base of her wine glass. “I tend to get a ready meal in. Lazy, I know, but I really can’t be bothered when it’s just me by myself. The kids always go to their dad’s. Matthew and I usually have a drink Christmas Eve…” She gave Anna an apologetic look. “I suppose you’re spending Christmas Day with a huge family sat around your big table, a massive spread—”

  “Actually,” Anna said and Ollie looked up at her, “Timothy and his friend Adam are spending Christmas watching old Doctor Who episodes at Adam’s house, Beth is going to her father’s mother’s for Christmas dinner, and I will be all alone with Arthur for the day.”

  Who on earth is that? Does she have a new boyfriend already? “Arthur?”

  “My cat.”

  “I keep forgetting you have a cat.”

  “Not a very sociable one, going by your recent visit.” Anna rolled her eyes. “After you’d left, I found him in the study, curled up under the radiator.”

  Ollie figured she probably wouldn’t have noticed the cat unless he’d landed on her with his claws spread. That green jumper held my attention rather well.

  “I’ll hunt for him next time you’re over.” Anna caressed the back of her hand again, which made Ollie smile. “Make sure he comes to say hello.”

  “There’ll be a next time?”

  “Of course,” Anna said. “You have yet to meet Timothy, and you’ve barely met Bethany. They’d like to get to know you.”

  Meeting the kids, that’ll be a first. Ollie thought back to all her other relationships. Either there was so much secrecy Ollie had never met her partner’s…anything. Or the relationship had been so brief, amounting to a quick fumble in the back of pub. Anna’s meeting my kids in a few days. That thought made her stomach clench, but she forced herself to focus back on her date and her lovely red dress.

  Their sharing platter arrived, and they spent many moments feeding one another oily olives, tasty ham, and skewers with tart, pickled items on them. Ollie found it half-sexy, and half-comical in the end, especially when she dripped oil down Anna’s chin, apologised profusely, and nearly set fire to the napkin as she reached over with it to help. The oil dripped down Anna’s front, and she took the napkin from Ollie with a smirk. The addition of a gleam in Anna’s eyes made Ollie press her thighs together and look away for a self-preserving minute.

  There was rustling as Anna dabbed at her cleavage. “Sorry,” she said, but when Ollie looked back at her, she looked anything but.

  Their starters were cleared away and their mains brought to them before Anna seemed to realise their conversation hadn’t exactly concluded. “Oh, so I was going to see whether… I’m not sure if this is… As you’re all by yourself for Christmas, and so am I, I wondered whether…”

  The way she fumbled over her words was endearing. She’s usually so confident. At least I have an effect on her too. “I ought to invite you round to mine,” Ollie said eventually, taking pity on her. “You fed me already. And I’m sure I remember you saying something about a picnic in front of my log burner.”

  A thankful look flooded Anna’s features. She reached across the table to take Ollie’s hand from where it rested on her fork. “A picnic on Christmas Day?”

  Ollie nodded but then thought about it more as she detected an unsure tone in Anna’s voice. Does it sound childish? What if she doesn’t want that?

  “What could be more romantic?” Anna tickled her fingers against Ollie’s.

  Thank God. “I’d book a string quartet and half a tonne of rose petals, but I don’t think they’d all fit in my flat.”

  The tension eased considerably after that. Anna chuckled and squeezed Ollie’s fingers before letting her go. She cut into the deep-coloured venison with relish.

  They ate for a minute or two, but it wasn’t long before Ollie’s self-doubt began to niggle again at her insides. She needed confirmation. “So…so would you like to come round? If you don’t, that’s fine. We can have a picnic another day.”

  “I’d love to,” Anna said. “Would you like me to bring anything?”

  “No that’s…that’s okay. Um…” She speared a potato on her fork and looked at the perfect little chargrilled lines on it and wished she could produce something as decadent from her kitchen. “Is there anything you don’t like?”

  “No,” Anna said, grinning with something that looked like pride in her eyes.

  What do I make us, then? They could hardly have a full Christmas dinner on Ollie’s rug. Maybe she could seek help from somewhere? Matthew was even worse at this stuff, though. His idea of a posh meal was to decant the takeaway food into ceramic dishes rather than eating it out of the plastic containers it arrived in.

  Her worry must have shown on her face, because Anna’s hand was covering hers again.

  “Ollie,” she said, and Ollie looked up. “Anything you make will be lovely. And just spending time with you at Christmas will be wonderful enough.”

  “All right.” The rushing sound in her ears quietened. Her chest ached for a moment, and she pressed her hand against her sternum, waiting for it to ease. She looked up and saw Anna’s little smile directed her way, and that was all it took: the ache dissolved into the warmth and the candlelight between them. She was here now in this beautiful restaurant, with this beautiful woman, and she felt good, confident, and safe.

  After deciding against dessert, they gathered their coats, hats, and scarves around them and made their way out into the snow. Anna caught Ollie’s hand in her own and stuffed them both, joined, into the pocket of her big red coat. Her grey handmade scarf was tucked into the front, and Ollie hoped it was stopping the light but icy breeze from shooting down the front of her coat. Anna tugged on Ollie to indicate they walk in the opposite direction to Ollie’s flat.

  “Let’s go for a walk? It’s so gorgeous out tonight.”

  Ollie nodded, and they moved through the orange-tinged snowfall, their boots crunching in the lightly settled snow. Flakes fell all around them.

  “My teaching assistant, Rachael,” Anna began with a small smile, “she told me today that she’s never seen real snow.”

  “How old is she?”

  “Twenty-five.”

  “Wow.” Ollie’s breath spiralled upwards
.

  “I know,” Anna said. “It used to snow every year, didn’t it? Without fail. But now, not so much.” She shrugged. “Kids these days.”

  “I remember getting snowed in when we lived in Strensall. I think I must have been eleven, maybe twelve. And then it rained all spring, and our barracks flooded.”

  “Barracks?”

  “My father was in the army too. Infantry officer. He trained the new recruits to shoot guns.”

  Their boots crunched along the pavement. “Did you move around a lot?”

  “Some,” Ollie said, snowflakes dusting her fringe where it poked out of her bobble hat. The streetlights shimmered across her vision, the light split by the snowflakes on her eyelashes, and she blinked rapidly to remove them. “Not as much as some of the kids we hung around with.”

  “We travelled a great deal too.” Anna’s fingers scissored inside her pocket between Ollie’s. “Mostly with my mother’s job.”

  “Siblings?”

  “Nope. You?”

  “Three brothers.”

  “Are you in contact with them?”

  A particularly strong gust of wind blew towards them from down an alleyway and Anna cuddled up closer to Ollie’s side for a moment. Ollie thought she would step away once the chill was gone, but she continued walking close to her, their shoulders touching.

  “Not anymore.” An ache, a different one than before, began to winch itself around in Ollie’s stomach. Not a part of my life I’m particularly proud of.

  But Anna just smiled and pulled her close. She coaxed Ollie down to rest her cheek on her shoulder as they held one another, hands still bundled up snugly in Anna’s pocket.

  “They’re devout Catholics,” Ollie said. “We were in touch before all the mess with my ex-husband. He decided it would be appropriate to tell my entire family what I had done, so…it’s been a few years since I’ve been on their Christmas card lists.”

  Anna rubbed Ollie’s back through her coat and pressed her cool lips against her cheek. Ollie closed her eyes into the kiss and found that Anna was moving them towards the shadowy gateway of a house, between two tall hedges. She pulled back and took her hand out of her pocket, then untangled their fingers. Bare fingertips smoothed Ollie’s cheeks and Anna let her thumbs linger on Ollie’s cheekbones. When Ollie could concentrate again, Anna’s eyes were wet.

  A lump formed in Ollie’s throat. She tried to duck away, but Anna’s hands on her cheeks meant there was no hiding the single tear Ollie felt rolling down her cheek. She closed her eyes in embarrassment. But Anna seemed not to care. She leant forward, touched her lips to the place on Ollie’s cheek where the tear had trickled, and kissed it away. Then she pressed gentle, slow kisses all over Ollie’s cheek, down to her jaw, around and over her chin, and across the other cheek.

  Ollie opened her eyes, staring in wonder at the glorious woman kissing her. She sprang into action, caught Anna’s lips with her own, and wrapped her arms around her.

  The ache in her stomach faded.

  A bitter wind whipped her face and swept Anna’s scarf to one side. Ollie pulled it back gently around Anna’s neck and dropped a last kiss to her lips. “Let’s go back. I’m about to start shivering.”

  Anna gazed up at her with wide shining eyes and then brushed her cheek with the backs of her fingers. “Your brothers are idiots.”

  Ollie snorted.

  “I’m serious,” Anna insisted. “You’re kind and beautiful and talented and strong and fantastic.” She shrugged. “Why on earth would anyone want to cut you out from their lives?”

  “Some people just can’t deal with it.” Ollie traced little circles behind Anna’s ear.

  Anna placed her hand atop Ollie’s. “Some people need to get a life. There are worse things in the world, surely, than two women being together?”

  They stepped out onto the street again, hands joined and back in Anna’s pocket. Anna leant her head against Ollie’s shoulder as they walked back the way they had come. Her hat was soft under Ollie’s cheek. “I just think anyone would be crazy to not want you in their life.”

  “I don’t mind how many people are in my life,” Ollie said as they walked along, feeling inordinately brave, “so long as one of the people is you.”

  Warm fingers squeezed Ollie’s hand. “I feel the same.”

  They walked together to Ollie’s door. Ollie shifted so Anna was in front of her and slipped her hand into Anna’s other coat pocket, making Anna giggle, slide close to her, and look upwards towards the window to Ollie’s apartment.

  “Do you have your decorations up yet?” she asked.

  “Yep. A plastic tree covered in little crocheted snowmen and reindeer.”

  “Do I get to see?”

  Anna’s voice had dropped about an octave, and Ollie bit her lip. She was sure she looked hesitant.

  Anna stroked her thumb over the back of Ollie’s hand and her gaze seemed to be searching Ollie’s expression. “But you know what? I can wait until Christmas Day.”

  “Probably best,” Ollie said. I don’t want to rush it. I don’t feel ready just yet. I want it to be special. She shifted on the concrete, her knee screaming at her. It’s truly beautiful out here, and I really do not want the night to end.

  Anna squeezed both her hands. “Perhaps we should just wait inside while I call a taxi?” she asked. “I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.”

  “Roger that,” Ollie said, taking her hands out of Anna’s pockets and pulling her keys from her own. She unlocked the door as Anna took out her phone, pulled the door closed behind them, and stood against the radiator.

  “Oh, for goodness sakes,” Anna said, huffing and staring at her phone, the screen glowing blue and lighting up her face.

  Ollie frowned. “What?”

  Anna huffed again, dropping the hand holding her phone. “Liam. He’s been texting me, begging for my forgiveness. I suppose he’s had too much whisky.”

  Ollie’s jaw stiffened and she folded her arms, shaking her head. “No. That’s not okay.” Her tone came out low, and she felt some of the strength from her army days collecting in her muscles.

  Anna looked up at her, eyebrows rising. A smile pulled at her lips. “It’s nothing, really. He’s just all ‘why can’t we work it out’ and ‘I’m so much better for you than that…’” Anna sucked at her lip. “You get the idea.”

  Ollie stood with her fingers touching her chin for a moment. “Have you asked him not to text you?”

  “About six times, if I’m not mistaken.”

  Ollie spoke slowly. “If you’ve asked him not to contact you and he is contacting you, that’s harassment.”

  Anna cocked an eyebrow, reached to rub Ollie’s arm. “I do know that.”

  “So, call the police,” Ollie said with a shrug.

  There was a pause as Anna rubbed at her forehead. “I don’t know. He might react rather unpleasantly, and I’d rather not have to deal with that.” She looked around her, head lowered. “He knows where I live, and where I work.”

  Not wanting Anna to think she was unable to keep her anger in check, Ollie forced herself to relax. She can take care of herself. “Maybe give him an ultimatum?” Anna’s hand was still on Ollie’s arm, and Ollie laid her palm over it.

  Her lips twisting this way and that, Anna re-examined her phone.

  “Tell him if he doesn’t leave you alone, you’ll report him to the police?” Ollie took in a big breath. “I don’t like to see you all…” She shrugged.

  Sparkling eyes smiled up at her. “You’re very sweet.” Anna sighed and stared at her phone, her face creasing in a frown.

  Redirecting her emotion to try to soothe Anna, Ollie caressed her knuckles and gave her a moment.

  “You could always block him,” Ollie said. “He won’t even know you did it if you don’t tell him.”

&
nbsp; “Block?” Anna looked up from her phone with a frown.

  “You know.” Ollie turned so they could both look at Anna’s phone. “Block his number. He can send all the messages he wants, but they won’t get through to you. You won’t have to see them.”

  Anna’s eyes were wide. “You can do that?”

  Ollie leant to kiss her cheek and felt Anna shaking with laughter against her. “Yes, you can do that, comrade.”

  The little screen was bright in Ollie’s hallway. They worked together to write and send a text, stating clearly what Anna wanted, and what was going to happen if he didn’t follow her instructions. Then, with a flourish, Ollie scrolled down to his contact, and pressed Block.

  “Let’s hope he doesn’t decide to turn up at my door.” Anna stared at her phone, then turned back towards Ollie.

  “If he does you really can call the police. You’ve made it very clear what you want.”

  All the frustration seemed to float from Anna as she nodded in agreement. “Thank you.”

  Ollie smiled. She’s happy, that’s all I care about. Stepping away so Anna could talk to the taxi company, Ollie rubbed her hands together and blew into them.

  “Ten minutes,” Anna said as she hung up.

  Ollie held an arm out to her and pulled her around the waist so they were flush against one another and could feel the heat from the radiator. Anna unbuttoned her coat and wrapped the sides around them both. The warm air filtered inside it. Ollie snuck her hands under Anna’s coat and held her sides, rubbing the undersides of Anna’s ribs.

  “Now who can’t keep their hands to themselves?” Anna asked, cocking an eyebrow at her.

  “Just trying to keep you warm, comrade.”

  “Your hands are cold,” Anna said, pouting.

  “My mother always taught me it’s friendly to share.” They were very close, so close Ollie could feel Anna’s breath on her face.

  Anna’s eyes closed like a cat’s, and she leaned her head a little to the side. She tilted her chin up.