Poison Apple Crisp

by Addison Moore

  “Don’t push it.” A tiny smile crimps my lips. “You and Everett can babysit me all you want, but you’ll have to do it on my terms.”

  Noah takes a deep breath. “Why do I feel as if I’ve just been bested by a baker?”

  Carlotta steals a rose from my bouquet. “Don’t get her angry, Foxy. In her state, she’s liable to take you outside and have her way with you behind the bushes.”

  A sly smile rides up Noah’s cheek, and I shake my head at him.

  “Don’t tempt fate,” I say.

  I don’t plan on tempting fate either. I simply plan on tracking down Brenda Phillips’ killer.

  My stomach does a hard roll, and I run right outside and puke in the bushes.

  Carlotta had it half-right.

  I tangoed with two men and tempted fate, and now the universe is having its way with me behind the bushes.

  I sure hope things get easier.

  Noah comes out with a glass of cold water and holds me, whispering into my ear that everything will be okay.

  But deep down inside, I don’t think either of us believes it.

  Chapter 5

  Why?

  Why in the name of all things good, and holy, and right, did I suggest we go to Mangias?

  A hard sigh expels from me as I stare up at the cheery red and green neon sign. I know why. Because some of my best culinary memories have occurred right inside this place. It’s where Noah and I came when we dated. And we’ve brought Everett here so many times it’s technically his place, too.

  “All right, Lemon. One more try, and if you can’t do it, we’ll pick up some Wicked Wok and head home. I don’t want to torment you.”

  “No, it’s okay. I can do it.” I take another deep breath. I’ve already set foot inside this famed Italian eatery three times, and three times I ran right out the door with a green face. I had such bad nausea all afternoon, Keelie taught me how to tie a ribbon around my wrist to stave it off, and when I talked to Lainey about it, she suggested I grate some fresh ginger into my water. Suffice it to say, I chugged enough ginger water to fill a fish tank, and all the while doing it with pink ribbons dangling from my wrists.

  “All right.” Everett pulls me close and smooths his thumbs over my cheeks. “Have I told you lately how beautiful you are? Your skin looks illuminated from the inside. And your eyes have a sparkle to them like no other.”

  “Hey?” I give his tie a playful tug. “If the argumentative side of you was a ploy to land in my bed—is this tender side a way to get rid of me?”

  A deep laugh rumbles in his chest. “No way. You’re the last person I’d want to be rid of.” He nods toward the restaurant. “Those people waiting for us in there? I’m already anxious to make a getaway.”

  “Very funny.” I hike up on the balls of my feet and dot a kiss over his lips. “I’m in, Baxter. Let’s do this.” I gird myself. “This will most likely turn out to be a puke fest, but in all honesty, I’m so hungry I might just start eating food off people’s plates as we walk to our seats.”

  “I’ve seen people arrested for far more colorful offenses. You do what’s best for our baby. I’ll provide the bail money.”

  A smile glides over my face. “That’s why I love you so much. And thank you for the flowers. I might just pick a fight with you more often.”

  “Not if I land us in a heated argument first.”

  We step on into the dimly lit establishment, brimming with laughter and freely flowing red wine, when I decide I can’t hold my breath anymore and it feels as if I just inhaled an entire garlic clove or twelve.

  A hard moan comes from me.

  Mangias is comprised mostly of dark wood floors and dark-stained tables. The pizza is out of this world and the breadsticks are a close second.

  My stomach starts to do its best impression of the spin cycle, and just when I think I should dash right back out of here, I spot an older version of myself seated a few feet away, having what appears to be a shouting match with Mayor Harry Nash, aka my bio daddy.

  “If I trusted you, I wouldn’t have to ask,” Carlotta belts the words out a touch too loud, and half the room turns her way.

  I glance to Everett before we make a beeline over.

  “Hey, you two,” I say, giving a nervous wave. “What’s going on?”

  Mayor Nash, whom I haven’t been able to address as anything else even after I found out he was my biological father, has sparse wavy hair and a devil-may-care gleam in his eyes. He was a womanizer for years, two-timing his poor wife right up until recently when they got a divorce. But we’re on friendly terms, and I plan on keeping it that way. The two of them, however, I’m not so sure about.

  Carlotta looks up. “Well, look who the cat dragged in. The big, bad judge and the lucky little missus.” She turns to Everett. “I heard all about those punishments you doled out last night. Congrats on all the coital success.”

  Everett rocks back on his heels. “Yes, well, I’m a quick study. Thank you for the sage advice.”

  Mayor Nash gives a dark laugh. “I’ve been telling Carlotta for a good long while she should put her bright ideas down on paper.” He leans her way. “Why, a book like that is guaranteed to be a runaway hit. You could be a bestseller.”

  “I don’t think so,” I say. “In fact, you could do more harm than good. People pay good money to learn to play nice with one another. You might singlehandedly undue years of therapy for some folks. And you might just get slapped with a lawsuit or two.”

  Noah pops up behind them with a concerned look on his face and lifts a hand. It turns out, we’re seated at the table right behind them, and oddly, the thought of Carlotta and Mayor Nash arguing all night has the power to stave off my nausea. Go figure.

  Already seated at the intimate round table for four is Cokie with her crimson locks polished to a glossy finish as she wears her wavy tresses loose this evening. Her makeup is on point, and her lipstick matches her hair. She’s donned a low-cut red dress that’s squeezing her boobs in so tight they look like a couple of donuts ready to roll onto the table. It’s clear she’s all vamped up because she wants to take Noah’s tongue out for a joyride.

  Whore.

  Okay, so that was a bit harsh, but if I can’t vent my emotions to myself, I’m going to explode. I feel as if someone rearranged my internal wiring, and the slightest offense sends me over the edge.

  “Essex, Lottie.” She squints out a smile, and I all but glower at her for tossing out my husband’s proper moniker. “Well, aren’t the two of you as cute as a bug in a rug. I still can’t believe you finally got hitched.” She shakes her head his way. “And you, Lottie Lemon, deserve a prize of some sort. But then, I suppose the baby is the prize, now isn’t it?”

  “Yes, well”—I say as Everett pulls out my chair and I take a seat—“this is sort of a communal prize at the moment. The paternity of the baby is up in the air.”

  Her mouth squares out as she leans forward.

  “Wow.” She looks to Everett. “I knew you’d be an understanding partner, but perhaps you deserve the prize?” She guffaws at her own funny.

  Everett ticks his head. “Lemon and I are relatively new, so no offense on that front. And Noah and I have already made peace with it.”

  An odd chirping sound emits from Cokie as she clutches at her throat.

  “See there, Lot?” Carlotta crows from behind. “You darn near killed her.”

  I turn to find both Carlotta’s and Mayor Nash’s heads poking this way.

  “Carlotta,” I hiss.

  “What?” she squawks. “You didn’t think I was going to miss the big reveal, did you? That woman came sniffing around our Foxy. I wanted to see the look on her face when she discovered you’ve had a little naked time with both these grand studs.”

  A groan comes from me as I look to Mayor Nash for help.

  “Woman,” he takes a stern tone with Carlotta, “turn around, or I’ll march you out of here and take you over my knee!”

  Carlot
ta gasps with delight before looking his way. “You watch your tongue, or I’ll tie you to a chair and pull out the riding crop.”

  Both she and Mayor Nash get back to their own table, and my lips try their best to twitch a smile.

  “You’ll have to excuse her,” I say to Cokie, who still looks as if she’s just been slapped up and down with said riding crop. “My mother has an odd sense of humor.”

  “Your mother?” She gives a solid blink, and Noah nods her way.

  “Lottie has two mothers,” he says.

  “Oh, that clears everything up.” She belts out a laugh. “I can see now why you felt the need to give your baby two fathers.” She continues the chuckle fest, but no one else at the table seems to be joining in on the effort, so she rolls to a stop.

  Before the situation can deep dive further into a rabbit hole of awkwardness, a spray of stars appears to her left, and soon that precious little Pomeranian is floating by her side.

  “Hello, Lottie!” Ginger trills in her cartoonish little voice. “Oh my, look at these handsome steeds. How they remind me of my Emmet and Nolan. Emmet had commanding blue eyes and dark shiny hair just like the man on your left. And my sweet Nolan had dark hair that turned red in the sunlight, the same daring green eyes as the man to your right.” She does a little orbital spin around Cokie. “I recognize this woman from last night. Is she the killer, Lottie?”

  I shrug over at her. “So, Cokie? Any word on what happened to poor Brenda? Was her misfortune brought on by natural causes?”

  The waitress comes by and lands breadsticks, two large pizzas—one pep and sausage, one veggie—and a round of ice water for us. Noah must have ordered before we came. Either that or the waitress instinctually brought it over. I’m guessing it was the latter. It’s our standing order, and this wouldn’t be the first time it miraculously appeared before us.

  Cokie inches her face my way. “I heard she was poisoned. A lethal dose of cyanide salt.”

  Noah glances my way for a brief second. “Cokie, how did you hear that?”

  She shrugs as we all help ourselves to a giant slice of heaven, and my stomach starts pulsating as if it were considering whether or not this delicious food was still an option for us.

  It is, I want to tell it. There’s nothing any part of my body can do to stop me from shoving both of these pies into my face.

  Cokie shrugs. “I don’t know. I just heard it floating around on campus. The faculty is really close, you know, and people talk.”

  Ginger lets out a few sharp barks. “She’s guilty, Lottie. I can see it in her beady little eyes. My mother—the woman who raised me, Amanda—said not to trust people with beady little eyes.”

  I gasp. Miranda? Amanda? Something is definitely up. I smell a celestial rat in the kitchen.

  And it’s ridiculous to paint people with beady eyes that way. People can’t help what they look like. Her mother sounds like a goof.

  Ginger floats her way over to me. “I know what you’re thinking. What an awful thing to say. My mother was sort of a goof. After her husband passed away, she had to raise Brenda and her sisters on her own. And once they flew the coop, she was very interested in just about every man that looked her way.”

  “Don’t I know it.”

  Cokie leans in. “Excuse me?”

  “Oh,” I straighten, “I mean, don’t I know how rumors can get started.”

  Everett dabs his mouth with his napkin. “That rumor sounded very specific. Noah, do we know what that woman died from?”

  Noah takes a breath. “Toxicology hasn’t confirmed anything yet.” He nods to the redheaded killer among us. Okay, so maybe she’s not a killer, but that perky bosom of hers on display for all to see is killing my good time. “I’m afraid I’ll have to come down to the school and interview people. If someone is that specific, the killer might be right there on campus.”

  “Great,” I say as my hand slaps over the table. “And Evie starts school in a week.” I lean in and squint over at the redheaded nuisance among us. “That killer better watch their back. I’ll make sure this case is good as solved before my daughter sets foot on that campus.”

  “Lottie.” Noah gives a little shake of the head.

  “Don’t you Lottie me,” I say. “I have every right to protect little Evie.” So she’s not so little, but she is mine.

  Everett strums his fingers over the table. “Lemon, why don’t we talk about this after dinner?”

  I turn his way as I take umbrage to his words. “Don’t you after dinner me. Both of you men are in hot water for colluding against me.”

  I can hear Carlotta snickering with laughter from behind.

  “Woo-wee, ten bucks says both Mr. Sexy and Foxy are about to get some of the angry action tonight. I should lend her my riding crop.”

  “No way.” Mayor Nash doesn’t waste a second to deny me my kinky rights. “She can use a whisk or a wooden spoon. Tell her to get her own riding crop. We’ve got to preserve what’s ours.”

  That sums up my bio parents in a nutshell—always thinking of themselves.

  Everett penetrates me with those serious eyes and Noah sighs deeply.

  “That’s right,” I snip. “I saw the two of you coming together in the name of keeping my investigative efforts at bay. Well, it’s not going to work. I’m going to dig away at my heart’s content. I’m going to get my hands dirty if I want. And I’m even going to question suspects in an effort to bring this killer down. There’s not a man on the planet that can keep this amateur sleuth down.”

  Ginger barks as if agreeing. “Lottie? Should you have said all of that in front of our first suspect?”

  I sink a little in my seat as I grimace at Cokie.

  Amateur Sleuthing 101 calls for ambiguity during the questioning phase, and I’m afraid I just blew the lid right off of anything ambiguous.

  Cokie shakes her head my way. “Don’t worry, Lottie. I have no qualms about you coming to campus and speaking to a few parents. I don’t see any harm in it so long as you don’t tell anyone you’re investigating.” She gives a little wink, and suddenly it feels as if the killer, aka Noah’s red dress floozy, is about to turn my investigation on its ear before it ever begins.

  Ginger is right. I shouldn’t have said anything. But it was like a river was bursting through the dam and I couldn’t stop myself if I tried.

  I grab another slice of pizza and shove it into my mouth in an effort to get a far better dam in place.

  Everett pulls a breadstick to himself. “Cokie, we’d appreciate it if you can keep an ear out for any more rumors, and for whoever may be starting them. I’m afraid Lemon has her hands full with the bakery and—”

  “And my daughter.” I nod his way with wild eyes. “Cokie, I’ll be on campus plenty. I’m predicting you’ll grow tired of me sooner than later.”

  Her lids drop a notch, and Ginger howls as she floats around the woman.

  “Dare I say, Lottie, she’s looking tired of you already.”

  Lovely. If I didn’t already have a complex about people not liking me, I now have a dearly departed dog filling me in on it.

  Wait, I don’t have a complex. I rarely care what anyone thinks of me. If I did, I certainly wouldn’t be running around with a man on each arm.

  Everett stares at me a good long while.

  “Cokie?” He turns back her way, and I’m curious to see where this might lead. “Do you know of anyone who was angry with Brenda? Did she have any financial troubles? Did she seem fearful these last few days?”

  I reach over and give his thigh a squeeze, assuring Everett he’ll be rewarded properly later this evening. For as ornery and nauseated as I’ve been, I’ve also been insatiable, too.

  Cokie thinks about it a moment. “She never mentioned anything about owing anyone money. And Brenda was a lot of things, but she was never fearful. As for the enemies”—she says that last bit under her breath—“Brenda knew how to rack ’em up by the dozen.”

  “Knew it,” I h
iss, and Ginger barks my way as if she were trying to keep me in line. “Cokie, what about her fiancé? I met him last night. He seemed to be acting a little odd to me.” I leave out his cryptic words or the fact I saw him having a heated discussion with Cokie herself.

  She glances to Noah and gives a few unsettled blinks.

  Noah reaches under the table and gives my thigh a pat, and I bite down on a smile because I’m sure that means he appreciates the investigative path I’ve taken us down.

  Cokie blows out a breath. “Okay, here it goes.” She tosses a hand up. “Now that I know I’ve got two investigators and a judge at the table, I guess I’d better come clean.” A staccato laugh claps from her. “Martin Smulder, Brenda’s fiancé, and I had a past. It was a blip on the screen, but boy, did she like to lord it over me.”

  I lean forward, suddenly very interested in this new revelation. “Were you engaged to him, too?”

  “Heavens no.” She averts her eyes. “I was too smart for that one. He was my rebound after my divorce. He’s a single dad. His son is headed into triple H as a sophomore this year.”

  By triple H, I’m assuming she means Honey Hollow High.

  Noah taps his glass. “How long did the two of you see each other?”

  “Oh, it was a year of on-again, off-again. Nothing serious, just fooling around. We were a lot like you and Lottie. Martin was engaged to Brenda before I knew it.”

  As much as I want to protest the idea that they were anything like us, there is a ring of truth to it. But there’s that river again, trying to burst its way through the dam. It’s as if I can’t control my emotions in any capacity. It’s going to be a very long pregnancy if this keeps up.

  “What Noah and I have is unique and special,” I snip without meaning to. “He is one of the great loves of my life, right up there with Everett. In fact, if he hadn’t kept that wife of his under wraps for so long, I might have even married the guy. That little detail would have made him a bigamist, but that just goes to show how much I meant to him. Apparently, I was worth bending a few matrimonial rules.”

  Cokie’s forehead fills with lines as she takes a moment to study me.