Love Me, Lauren

by Elle Linder

  “Okay,” she whispered.

  “Thank you for doing this.” The sincerity in his voice liquified her. No man had ever treated her with so much tenderness and appreciation.

  “I’m happy to help. Go have fun before I don’t let you go.” Had she really just said the words that were in her heart?

  Rick leaned in, lightly grazing her nose with his. “Don’t let me go.”

  Did he mean it literally or figuratively? Was he asking her to stop him from going out on the lake? Or was there a deeper meaning? She couldn’t think fast enough as he absorbed every inch of her. “Luke is waiting for you,” was all she could muster.

  “I don’t care about Luke, but I’ll go.” He stared into her eyes for a long beat, kissed her once more, and walked out the door.

  She put her hands to her hot cheeks, releasing the sultry air from the roaring fire within her. What just happened?

  Don’t let him go?

  Oh, she didn’t want to let him go…but she would have to. He lived in Alaska, and she was in California. What had she been thinking? Well, she hadn’t been thinking. Not sensibly anyway.

  Lauren stepped back into the room where Izzy remained sound asleep. This feeling in her heart, which was the fullest it had ever been, nearly brought her to tears.

  This man.

  His child.

  How could she kiss them both goodbye on Sunday?

  thirteen

  He Trusted Her

  Julia closed the trunk of her car as Tami approached. “Hey there, heading home?”

  “Yup, Aaron has Austin in the car. I wanted to thank you for inviting us. It was a great party.”

  “You’re welcome! Brice had the best time.”

  “So…Lauren and Rick?”

  “I don’t know what’s going on with them. Really, Lauren isn’t the committing type. And Rick…well, he’s just now getting his bearings with Izzy.”

  “But you’d like to see them together, wouldn’t you?”

  “I’d like to see her with someone. Not sure if Rick is the best choice. You know, with Renee in the picture.” Julia rolled her eyes. She could only imagine the drama that would engulf her life if Lauren dated Rick. No question Lauren would send Renee into a meltdown every other day and twice on Friday nights. And who would Renee call? No one other than Julia’s lumberjack. She sucked in a breath. Please no.

  “You can’t deny there seemed to be a connection with them. Every look, smile, that kiss…”

  “Kiss? You saw them kiss?”

  “I did, by mistake!”

  “And?”

  “It was…it was tender and sweet.”

  “Huh? Seriously?” Tami nodded eagerly. “That doesn’t sound like Lauren at all. She’s never vulnerable or tender.” Guilted by her previous, selfish thoughts of Lauren dating Rick, making her life miserable because of Renee, Julia’s quandary intensified. She would never want to stand in the way of Lauren finding love and happiness with a man. Lauren in love, tender and sweet, that would be a freaking miracle. And with Rick of all people.

  “She was during that kiss.” Tami fanned herself for emphasis.

  “Well, I’m shocked.”

  “Where’s she now?”

  “Babysitting.” Tami looked confused. “In Rick’s room. She’s apparently watching over Izzy while Rick and Luke play on the lake. She can’t even keep plants alive. Dang, that sounded awful. But Lauren’s a complex person. There are things about her she reveals to no one, not even me. I know she’s sweet and capable of a tremendous amount of love. Maybe I’m overwhelmed by this massive change with her. Suffice it to say, I’m going to check on her in a little bit. Just in case.” Julia grimaced.

  Tami giggled. “That’s a good idea. I mean, a child requires more attention than a plant. Yikes.” Julia laughed, nudging her playfully. “Let’s meet for lunch next week? I want to hear all the juicy details.”

  “You got it. Thanks for coming.”

  “It was fun. That Brice, boy is he a hoot!”

  “Isn’t he? Oh, and tell Aaron that Luke wants a rematch at bocce. He apparently doesn’t know his own strength.”

  “I’ll tell him.” Tami waved, laughing all the way back to her car.

  Julia looked at the resort. Lauren babysitting only meant one thing: she really liked Rick. It was time she had a little talk with her best friend. She tucked her keys into the pocket of her sundress and strolled back toward the resort. With Luke on the lake, Heather and Brice watching from the shore, she could steal a few minutes with Lauren…babysitter Lauren.

  “Mom!” Julia froze at Brice’s voice. Mom? “I mean, Julia,” he corrected himself, jogging up to her.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. He had never called her anything but Julia before, and it stunned her to hear it fly out of his mouth so naturally. She kind of liked it. Liked it a lot. Every day she spent with the kids, she loved life with them more. She adored them both more than she’d imagined possible. At night when she’d leave the lake house, a huge part of her stayed behind with the love of her life and her two little loves.

  Yeah, she was ready to move in with her family. Julia was ready to be a mom.

  Not only to Luke’s kids but to her own, their own. Loving on Izzy released a yearning inside her. Her maternal juices were flowing like never before. She was ready to have Luke’s baby.

  “What’s up, birthday boy?”

  “Heather wanted me to find you. She has cramps.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Do you have medicine to make them go away?”

  Julie smiled. “I do, in my purse…which is in my car.” She sighed. “Let’s go get some medicine for Heather, birthday boy.” She tousled his hair.

  Talking to Lauren would have to wait after all.

  Izzy stretched on the bed. She rolled to one side, then the other while kicking the blankets off. Lauren held her breath as she watched her. What would she do with her once she was awake?

  “Da-da?” Izzy’s sweet voice called. When he didn’t answer, she called again, “Da-da?” She rolled again with a smile on her face, but it vanished as their eyes met. “Where’s Da-da?”

  “Aww, Da-da will be right back.” Lauren stood from the chair, took one step, and froze as Izzy’s lip quivered. “Oh, no, no, no, sweet girl, don’t cry. Da-da is coming right back.” She looked around the room for something, anything that might soothe the toddler.

  How could she have put herself in this situation with an on-the-verge-of-tears toddler? Babies had never been her forte. At the inn, it was Julia who had cooed over the babies and talked to the kids while Lauren handled the adults.

  Why had she agreed to stay with Izzy? Alone. And only one day after meeting her. All because she found Rick extremely attractive and wanted to appear…what? Maternal? She had sunk to a new low. Using a child to impress a man.

  It was shameful.

  And pathetic.

  In a near panic searching for goldfish, a juice box, or candy to defuse Izzy from melting down, she made an executive decision. “Let’s go find Da-da. Do you want to go get him?” she enticed in her softest, sweetest, most non-threatening voice.

  Izzy leaped out of the bed and ran straight for the door.

  “Wait!” Lauren yelled, startling Izzy and herself.

  The toddler crumbled to the floor, bursting into a geyser of tears. Lauren covered her mouth at the sight. One second Izzy had been fine, and in the next the pint-sized cutie was thrashing on the floor, wailing Da-da, Da-da, Da-da. All because Lauren had yelled.

  She crept toward the child so as not to freak her out any more than she already had. “I’m sorry I raised my voice. I just wanted you to wait for me.” Lauren kneeled beside Izzy, placing her hand gently on her back. “Do you have to go potty?” Izzy shook her head. “Want a drink of water?” Izzy shook her head again. “Okay. Take my hand, and we’ll go find Da-da right now.”

  And like that, the child calmed, popped up onto her feet, and reached for Lauren’s hand.

  A
mazing.

  They left the room and went down a long corridor to the lobby. By the time they arrived, Izzy had calmed down and her tears had dried.

  Lauren’s back pocket vibrated as she scanned the lobby for a familiar face. The only person she recognized was Erika, who was busy with a guest. She pulled out her phone, and her heart hiccupped seeing a text from Trent.

  “Izzy, let’s go see the big fireplace, and then we’ll find Da-da.” Izzy skipped along with Lauren happily. She lifted Izzy onto the sofa and sat beside her. “I need to take care of this, and then we’ll go. Okay?” Izzy nodded enthusiastically. “Okay.” Lauren smiled, opening the text.

  Trent: I wish you wouldn’t ignore my calls. At the very least, can’t we be friends?

  Hadn’t she managed to block him? She typed out a quick text. This had to stop—and now. More than ever with Rick in the picture.

  Lauren: I don’t want to be friends.

  Trent: You’re being immature. Julia won’t give a damn, she has her lumberjack.

  Lauren huffed. He had to mention Luke again. Weirdo. No matter what Trent said or didn’t say, he still had feelings for Julia and was jealous of her lumberjack. Lauren didn’t care in the least how he felt. All she wanted was for him to leave her alone. She’d never regretted a one-night stand more than this one.

  Lauren: Don’t text or call me anymore. You’re the one who needs to grow up and move on.

  Trent: I like you, Lauren. Give us a shot?

  Give them a shot? Not in this lifetime. It was obvious reasoning with Trent wouldn’t do a damn thing, so she blocked him yet again. She didn’t need the drama or him. Besides, in less than twenty-four hours, Rick had intrigued her along with his sweet, adorable—

  Izzy?

  Lauren jumped off the sofa and spun in a circle. “Izzy?” she called. Activity seemed to have sprouted out of nowhere in the lobby—an elderly group in one corner, families walking out of the pool room, guests checking in at the front desk. “IZZY!” she yelled.

  “Lauren, what’s the matter?” Erika hollered from behind the counter.

  “I can’t find Izzy! She was just here. Oh, God!” She gripped her head as tears stung behind her eyes.

  “I’ll call Julia.”

  “She was here not five seconds ago! Izzy!” Her chest heaved as she ran from one corner of the lobby to the other. “IZZY!”

  Before she knew it, Calvin had collected a group of people, likely all guests, to help search for Izzy. Lauren trembled from head to toe as she held herself up against the counter.

  How could she have lost Izzy?

  “Calvin and the others are spreading out to search along the lake,” Erika informed her. “Julia is on her way up to the lodge.”

  “The lake?” The image that flashed in her head sent her doubling over. She gripped her stomach, then bolted for the bathroom. Lauren puked into the toilet, over and over, until she was dry-heaving. Seconds later, dizzy with grief, she propped herself up against the wall of the stall.

  Not the lake.

  She buried her face in her hands as she quietly sobbed.

  “Lauren? Oh God, Lauren.”

  Hearing Julia’s voice magnified her emotions. She opened the stall door. Before she could explain, she was wrapped in Julia’s arms.

  “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to find her,” Julia said. Lauren wept as she clung to her. “Hon, we need to go help. They need every person searching.” Julia rubbed her back, guiding her out of the stall. Lauren swayed and then steadied herself against Julia. She wouldn’t be of any help if she couldn’t stand on her own.

  Would they even want help from the person who’d lost the most adorable little girl on the planet?

  Still, Julia nudged her out of the bathroom. She nearly crumbled to the ground as they entered the lobby. Frantic activity spilled out of every corner. Lauren stood stunned. People darted all over the place. Erika dictated orders.

  All for Izzy.

  “Come sit over here,” Julia directed, steering her to a chair near the entrance. “I need to help, but I want you to stay put.”

  “You have to find her,” she whispered.

  “We will.” Julia hugged her as Rick blew in. He stopped when he saw Lauren. The despair on his face turned to fury.

  “How could you lose her? I trusted you!” His voice boomed throughout the lobby, stopping everyone in place.

  “Rick, I’m so sorry…I—”

  He raised his hands up, stopping her. “I don’t have time for this. Julia, Luke wants you out at the party site. I only came in to do my own search of the lodge.” Rick turned on his heel, making his way down the corridor to his room as if recounting Izzy’s steps.

  Julia looked sympathetically at Lauren. “It will all be okay. We’ll find her. I better go help Luke. Do you need anything?”

  “No, just find her.”

  Julia squeezed her shoulder and was gone.

  Despite the chaos surrounding her, Lauren felt alone, isolated, with only her consuming thoughts of what if. No matter how it played out, it all led to an outcome of heartbreak.

  ***

  An hour had passed since Izzy disappeared, but it felt more like an eternity. Lauren hadn’t seen Julia or Rick or anyone else she knew.

  Rick.

  The look in his eyes haunted her. The fear, the anger, the grief. All signs of a loving father. It burned into her memory for her to never forget.

  Nor would she forget his words: I trusted you.

  Utterly spent, drained of all her tears, she waited. And waited. And waited. Suddenly out of nowhere she heard, “Da-da?”

  Lauren popped up from her chair, turning left and then right.

  “Izzy!” She searched but didn’t see her. “IZZY!”

  “I think this might be her,” a younger girl answered, walking out of the east hall holding Izzy’s hand.

  “Erika, call Julia!” Lauren yelled as she ran to Izzy and scooped her up into her arms. “Oh, my God, Izzy. Where were you?” Lauren cried, shedding more tears. This time, they were relieved, happy tears.

  “I found her in the library, behind a computer. It was dark in there when I walked in,” the girl said. “My mom gave me a room key so I could get in to check out the books. I found her tapping away on the keyboard. All she said was Da-da.” The young girl shrugged. “Was she lost or something?”

  Lauren nodded, holding Izzy tight with her lips pressed to her chubby cheek.

  “I wondered what all the commotion was about. Didn’t think it was because someone was lost. Especially not a little toddler. How’d she get lost?”

  Lauren paced back and forth, squeezing Izzy tight, not giving a thought to answering the young girl who rambled on.

  “I’m glad I found her.”

  Before Lauren could respond with a me too, Rick bounded into the lobby with Luke and Julia hot on his heels. “Da-da!” Izzy squealed as he grabbed her out of Lauren’s arms and fell to his knees with her.

  “Oh, baby…I thought I lost you forever.”

  Lauren gasped as the once cocky, arrogant man bawled like a baby. His gut-wrenching sobs echoed throughout the lobby as a crowd formed around them—it was all too much. Lauren stepped away from Rick and Izzy, fading into the crowd of guests, staff, and local authorities. As the lobby filled with clapping and cheers, she disappeared to her room.

  fourteen

  An Unforgivable Mistake

  Tears continued to streak down Lauren’s face as she packed her bags. She had to get far away from the resort, Idaho, and Rick. Now that Izzy had been found and was safe in her father’s arms, she could leave and never look back. Plagued by the fear and pain she had caused, the best thing she could do for Rick and for Izzy was go. She had done enough damage for one lifetime.

  Tap-tap-tap echoed on the door, startling Lauren. “Lauren, open up!” Julia called.

  Lauren ignored her, zipping up her tote bag.

  A moment later, the door opened, and Julia walked in. “I have the mas
ter key.” She winked. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m leaving.”

  “Why?”

  “Are you kidding? A major search and rescue took place at your resort. A child was missing, all because of me! Me!”

  “No, don’t do this. It was an accident. You didn’t mean to lose her.”

  “But I did. He trusted me with his most valuable possession. I can’t face him.” Lauren went into the bathroom to collect her makeup. When she stepped out, she caught Julia typing a message. She snatched the phone away from her and read the text to Luke.

  Lauren’s a mess & trying to leave. We need to stop her.

  “Give me that!” Julia reached for the phone. Lauren deleted the message and handed it back to her.

  “Stay out of my business. You can’t tell me what to do. Please let me go,” she demanded with tears in her eyes. “Please, Julia. I fell hard for him. Then this nearly fatal event happened because of me. I can’t face him. It’s an unforgivable mistake. I’ll never forget the pain, the fear and anger in his eyes.”

  “Oh, honey, you’re being too hard on yourself. I’m sure Rick wouldn’t want you to leave. Even if nothing happened between you two, he wouldn’t hold this against you.”

  Lauren shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks. “No, it’s better this way for all of us.”

  “But what about our girls’ night tonight?” Julia pouted.

  “You can come home to California for that. We’ll make a girls’ weekend of it.” Julia pulled her into a hug, and Lauren returned the embrace. “I’m so sorry this happened.”

  “I know, babe. I know.”

  Regrettably, Julia waved as Lauren drove out of the parking lot. She had strict orders not to say a word until Lauren was outside of the city limits. If Lauren hadn’t made Julia pinky promise, she would have hightailed it into the lodge and begged Rick to stop her. To talk some sense into her. But a pinky promise was something she couldn’t break.