Love Me, Lauren

by Elle Linder

  It grieved her to see Lauren be anything but strong, fierce, and a wiseass. A Lauren who didn’t fight back or curse up a storm was a Lauren that Julia had never encountered before.

  A spiritless, brokenhearted Lauren went against nature, an anomaly.

  The car faded off into the golden sun of a day that had begun cheery and bright but had ended in melancholy. All she wanted to do was crawl under the covers with her lumberjack holding her. So much for wishful thinking. Tonight, she would be sleeping alone.

  Heavy-footed steps grew louder behind her.

  Luke.

  A moment later, his arms wrapped around her. “Hi, baby. What are you doing out here alone?”

  Could she answer him now? Had enough time passed? Perhaps not. She didn’t want to risk breaking the promise.

  “Julia, what’s going on?” He squeezed her tighter, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “Talk to me.”

  “Rick and Izzy, how are they?”

  “They’re fine. But that was some scary shit. We’re going to keep our kid on a leash.”

  She turned around in his arms, resting her head on his chest. “I’ll put you on a leash before our child.”

  “I like the sound of that. How about we try that now? Let’s get kinky tonight.”

  “Stop it, you know nothing is happening tonight.” She sighed against his chest.

  “Oh right, you’re hanging out with Lauren tonight.” Every muscle in her body hardened, and Luke noticed. He pulled back to look at her. “What’s the matter? Did you girls have a tiff?” He looked around the parking lot. “Where’s Lauren’s rental car?”

  “She left.”

  “Where did she go?”

  “The airport.”

  “What happened?”

  “I’ll tell you inside. Where are the kids?”

  “Erika took them home after her shift. I’m paying her double.”

  “Why?”

  “So I could be here with you.”

  “Luke, it’s Brice’s birthday, and we should be with him.”

  He pulled her back into his arms. “And we will. But first, we need to be with each other.” And with that he took her straight to her suite so she could tell him everything that had happened with Lauren.

  fifteen

  Why-How-Why?

  The last week had been the most miserable of Lauren’s life. Nothing mattered beyond taking care of the inn. She slept, showered, nibbled on hummus, went to work, and sulked on the couch while watching The Vampire Diaries.

  Rinse and repeat.

  On yet another night of the same misery, she shuffled into the kitchen, pulled out a bottle of Moscato and a glass, and then shuffled back to the living room. Lauren queued up the next episode of the thirsty, bloodsucking vampires she adored and poured herself a glass of wine.

  Then it happened.

  Her phone rang. Rick’s name flashed on the screen, and her heart hiccupped to a stop. Seeing his name released feelings she had tried to bury deep inside her body. They jumped to life. Cheered with delight. Rick was calling!

  An immediate need for him sent her reeling. She needed him?

  Lauren didn’t need anyone. Ever.

  But Rick—his buttery smooth voice and pillowy lips, his strong arms and sexy sarcasm, it all drove her wild. It all made her want him. Need him.

  And she let him go to voicemail.

  The screen went black.

  A moment later, her phone dinged with a message. Every nerve in her body willed her to pick up the phone. Pick it up!

  Except she couldn’t. Her hands violently trembled. The text he’d sent himself from her phone—before she’d ruined everything—blinked like a neon sign in her head: Kiss me again.

  That text was all she had left of him. That and the cutting words “I trusted you.” They had replayed in her mind, dozens of times, since she left the Brook Trout Resort parking lot. Such small words, insignificant on their own. But they tore her to pieces. A painful reminder that she had destroyed any chance she had with Rick.

  To think she had believed she would never hear his voice again. Now that she could, even if on voicemail, she feared what he would say. She started her show to avoid the one man who had mattered to her since her father walked out of her life.

  She cranked up the volume to mask the deafening silence. Once again alone. No Julia. No Teri. Not even her mother had been around the last ten years.

  Following Lauren’s high school graduation, her mom had moved to Vale, Colorado to be a snow bunny. Such high aspirations that one had. And her dad, Wes Daniels? She didn’t give a rat’s ass about him. Lauren’s two-timing jerk of a father didn’t give her a second thought either. If he did, she would have heard from him in the last six years. Instead, his new family occupied his time in Virginia.

  Any man who could throw his child away like an afterthought was the scum of the earth. Julia had tried to convince her that not all men were like Wes, but Lauren had never believed her. That was, until Luke had entered Julia’s life. His love and devotion to his kids earned him Lauren’s respect and admiration. She believed they had broken the mold with him, eliminating any chance of her finding a good man. What were the chances of a second diamond in the rough? Wouldn’t it be like finding a needle in a haystack?

  Impossible.

  Then entered Rick Torres, another diamond. Slightly weathered but just as brilliant.

  Weren’t diamonds supposed to be the strongest stone? Leave it to her to find a way to crush it into a million chips.

  After years of trying to find a man with the it-factor, he’d appeared in her life with the cutest little girl in tow. Two days later, they had changed her perspective on men and children. What a shame she hadn’t been able to hold onto them.

  Single life for the win.

  If he intimidated his phone with his death stare, maybe it would ring and Lauren would be on the other end. Not likely. He shouldn’t have waited so long to call her. Like a fool, he’d had no idea what to say. It wasn’t like he had left her. And now he had questions. Lots of questions.

  Why did you leave?

  Why didn’t you say goodbye?

  What did I do wrong?

  Didn’t we have a connection?

  Is it because I have a child?

  For a guy who didn’t usually connect with women beyond a roll in the hay, Lauren’s abrupt departure had bruised his ego. He felt like a dumb fuck for thinking they might be starting something.

  Yeah, he had questions, and he feared falling into drill sergeant mode. He didn’t want to react with an uncontrolled emotional response. That would be the fastest way to lose her—before they’d even started.

  Once the initial shock had worn off that she’d left, he had stewed and smoldered, then berated himself for the last words he had said to her: I trusted you.

  Guilt consumed him for being thoughtless and out of his mind with fear. He was never calm and controlled like Luke. He had momentarily lost all sense of himself. His daughter was missing though. Lauren had to understand his frenetic outburst. Or perhaps she didn’t and held it against him? Maybe he had overwhelmed her or frightened her, so she bolted.

  Whatever her reasoning, it crushed him that she would leave without even saying goodbye.

  Rick gripped his head between his hands, leaning back in the recliner. What was he to do now?

  “What’s the matter?” his mother asked, entering his living room.

  “Nothing.”

  “I don’t believe you.” Her voice turned cross. “Tell me.”

  Rick lifted his head to find his mom giving him the stink eye as if he were still in middle school. Isabel Torres was not to be trifled with, or she would unleash her Puerto Rican wrath on anyone who tried. He so didn’t need this right now.

  “I’m waiting,” she persisted, tapping her toe.

  “I said it’s nothing, and I mean it’s nothing, Mama.”

  “Ever since you came back from Idaho, you been different. Why? Is it L
uke? Hmm? What did you do to him dis time?” Her accent always seemed to intensify when she wanted answers. But he wouldn’t let it intimidate him.

  “Nothing! I did nothing to him, and I’m fine!”

  “Then why are you yelling at me? Cause something’s bothering you, that’s why. Tell me what it is,” she insisted, raising her voice back at him.

  “Shh…quiet down,” Rick whispered. “You’re going to wake Izzy.”

  “Don’t you shush me! I’m not the one yelling. You are.” She crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot harder. The woman could out argue anyone, as well as drive them crazy.

  “Enough already! I don’t want to talk about her.”

  “Her? Who’s her?” A small curl to her lip appeared, intrigue illuminating her face. “Did you meet a girl in Idaho?”

  Rick flopped back in the chair and closed his eyes tight. Maybe if he remained that way long enough, his mom would leave him alone. Sort of like playing dead when you encountered a bear. Eventually, it would leave. Maybe she would lose interest in his decrepit, lowly state and leave to clean a bathroom or start dinner. Anything but question him about Lauren.

  “What’s her name? I’m waiting patiently for an answer. Tell me now or I’ll lose my patience with you fast.”

  “Lauren,” he blurted. “Now will you leave me alone?”

  “Lauren is a pretty name. Is she white?”

  “Mom! Does it matter?”

  “It does not matter to me. Is she?” She grinned, and he knew her conditions would follow. “As long as she’s nice. Responsible. Good to Izzy.” She took a breather, staring at him intently. “Does she cook?”

  “Please. Please stop with all the questions. None of it matters because she isn’t talking to me anyway. So there’s nothing to talk about.”

  “What did you do?”

  He slapped his knees, jumped out of the chair, and left the room. He would not go another round with his mother.

  Not that he hadn’t asked himself that same question every time Lauren’s beautiful face flashed in his head. He saw her dazzling blue eyes in his dreams and tasted her sweet lips.

  What kind of sick trick was the universe playing on him? Would he never talk to her again? See her again?

  What did I do?

  sixteen

  A Fresh Start

  Convinced he had done nothing, or at least nothing he couldn’t fix, Rick formulated a plan. If Lauren wouldn’t take his calls, then she would have to talk to him face to face. It didn’t take much for his mom to agree to watch Izzy. Flying to see a woman—that was huge.

  The woman had to be the one to make Rick do something this big.

  Even his mom knew the magnitude of an impromptu trip to Los Angeles.

  But the buck didn’t stop with his mother. As he finalized his reservations, he had one more thing to do: consult Luke. At this point, Luke could cast him out forever and he’d be okay, so long as Lauren stayed in his life.

  He dialed Luke’s number and waited.

  “Rick, how’s it going, man?” Luke’s cheerful greeting startled him. It was totally uncharacteristic of Luke to sound so chipper; it had to be because of Julia.

  “Good. I, um, wanted to talk to you about something. Do you have a minute? Or two? But first, how are the kids and Julia?”

  “Yeah, I have time. Kids and Julia are fantastic. So what’s up?” Leave it to Luke to get straight to the point.

  “It’s about Lauren.”

  “I know, man. Sorry about the whole search, rescue, and dash.”

  “I’m flying out to see her tomorrow.”

  “Oh.”

  “I have to.” Rick looked down at Izzy, leafing through a book, but Luke didn’t reply. “Did you hear me?”

  “I don’t think that I did.”

  “What?”

  “I thought you said you have to fly out to see her.”

  “I did.”

  “That can’t be right. No woman has ever made you run after them. You’re the one they run after. Have you forgotten?”

  “Lauren isn’t just any woman. She’s the woman.” Luke didn’t reply again. This time Rick gave him several seconds, but the waiting made him nervous, so he continued talking. “Luke, I called you out of courtesy only. Not for your permission or a lecture. Dude, your silence is annoying the shit out of me.”

  “Well, your declaration of love has scared the shit out of me. Are you feeling okay? Been smoking hash or sniffing shit?”

  “No! I would never do drugs and you know that!”

  “I’m just shitting you. So, you love her?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “But you do.”

  “I don’t know. Probably. Can you fall in love with someone in two days?”

  “Did you have sex with her?”

  “No.”

  “Did you want to have sex with her?”

  “Luke, man, have you seen her?”

  “Right. You’ve been the eternal bachelor for as long as I’ve known you. So why didn’t you?”

  That was the question Rick had been asking himself for the last couple of weeks. Since the night in bathroom. He’d had Lauren right where he wanted her, pinned against a door. Sex in a public bathroom was something he’d mastered long ago; Rick could have had his way with her and been out the door within five minutes.

  “I’m not sure why I didn’t,” he admitted. “She does things to me I’ve never experienced before. I get nervous, and then I get weak. Man, she makes me weak. Is that bad?”

  “I get it. Boy, do I get it.” Luke chucked into the phone. “How can it be bad if it feels so damn good?”

  “It does feel damn good.”

  “Julia had me within an hour of meeting her. She blew into my life, knocked me on my ass, and stole my fucking heart right out from under me. There wasn’t a damn thing I could do stop her.” He laughed the laugh. “And I’ve never been more in love or happier than when that tornadic beauty whirled into my life.”

  “Yes! Lauren dropped in like one of Alaska’s fierce blizzards, the kind that will kill you if you stay out in the elements. She forced me to stop, hunker down in the safety of her warm heart, and then melted me with the cute scrunch of her nose. And that sass! Oh, how I love her sassy remarks. They drive me crazy. She’s so damn adorable.” A smile stretched across Rick’s face as he thought of her.

  “Did you say cute? And adorable? Dude, you’re fucked.”

  “You’re right, I am. And you know what?”

  “What?”

  “I’m damn happy about it too.”

  “Right. Well let me tell you this, lover boy: I’ll kill you if you hurt her.”

  “I would expect nothing less from you.”

  “Good.”

  “Luke?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m also moving to Idaho.” Izzy looked up at him and smiled. Luke didn’t reply. “Did you hear me?”

  “I don’t think that I did.”

  “Right.”

  It was like old times for Rick as he explained, at great length, his plan for starting a microbrewery. Luke surprised him with his enthusiasm and even an offer to help him in any way he could. That was the old Luke, his brother, pre-betrayal. After the details of his business venture and move had been discussed, Rick moved onto Lauren again.

  Talking to Luke lifted the ten-ton weight off his shoulders. With a clear head and Luke’s blessing, he could fly to L.A. He prayed the girl of his dreams wouldn’t slam the door in his face when he got there.

  And if she did?

  According to Luke, she wouldn’t. He had it on good authority from Julia that Lauren had been miserable ever since leaving Idaho, and Rick believed him. He still trusted Luke with his life. So, he proceeded with his plans.

  Lauren wasn’t doing so well at all. It took her two days to listen to Rick’s message, and then she didn’t return it. She couldn’t even send him a text. Hearing his voice broke her, but what he had said haunted her still.


  “Lauren, I don’t understand why you left like you did. If I hurt your feelings, I am so sorry. Please call me. Let’s talk about what happened to us. I liked what was developing between us. And I think Izzy misses you. I sure as hell miss you. I won’t let you go as easily as you walked away from me. Please, call me.”

  She’d cried herself to sleep after listening to the voicemail. The hardest part was knowing he wouldn’t let her go. But then a week had passed since he left the message and she hadn’t heard from him again. So much for not letting her go. She deduced it was all talk—like most men would do to make quick amends with her. All to get her into bed.

  But it didn’t make sense. Rick seemed different. He had certainly never tried to get her into bed.

  So why didn’t he call or text again?

  As far as she was concerned, it was better to let him go, because the torment of hurting him or Izzy would be more than she could bear. Avoidance seemed like the best thing to do, even as the pain of never seeing him again consumed her.

  Lauren occupied her time with work, spending more hours at the inn than at home. She needed to be around people. She needed people. That thought had been inconceivable before this. She’d never needed anyone before, but denying the truth would be futile.

  A gentle tap on the door forced her eyes from her computer screen. It opened, and Teri appeared. “Will you be okay with me leaving early today?”

  Lauren watched Teri sit in the chair in front of her desk with a hesitant expression on her face. “I’ll be fine. Go get violated and your ladies squeezed.”

  “Haha, funny.”

  “No, not funny at all. I’m never turning forty.”

  “Keep dreaming, cupcake. We all get our ladies squeezed by a machine.”

  “Spreading my legs is bad enough when sex isn’t involved. I’ll pass on getting my girls compressed into pancakes.” Lauren winked.

  “Always the jokester when you’re depressed. You don’t fool me.” Lauren glared at her. “Yup, there it is in those beautiful blue eyes of yours…sadness. And a refusal to admit it.”