Love Me, Lauren

by Elle Linder

  “Didn’t you say you were leaving?”

  “In an hour. But first, spill it, cupcake.” Teri relaxed in her chair with one expertly manicured arched brow.

  Lauren tapped her nails on her desk. She desperately wanted to talk out her feelings and didn’t want to bother Julia with her problems. Maybe Teri would be a good substitute.

  “It’s hard to believe it’s been two weeks since I’ve seen him.” Teri looked at her with compassion, knowing only a little of what had happened at the resort. Lauren had talked about meeting Rick and losing Izzy. Teri was always more than happy to be her shoulder to cry on. It was Lauren who balked at baring her soul to anyone other than Julia. More than ever, she needed a friend to confide in. “I fell for Rick. Hard.”

  “The little girl’s father?”

  “Yes.” Lauren dropped her head. “Rick isn’t like any guy I’ve ever gone out with before. He has this amazing smile, and his lips on mine had me working on all cylinders.” She could feel her face light up as she thought of him. “The love and care he gave his daughter sealed it for me, and then I lost her. How could I lose a little girl?”

  “It was an accident, Lauren. You’re being too hard on yourself.”

  Lauren shook her head and put her hands over her face. “No, I’m not. I got distracted. Trent had texted me. I was so tired of his random texts, so I sat Izzy on the couch beside me and texted him back for the last time.” Her voice caught as all the emotions she’d been holding back finally got their release. “It wasn’t even a minute. It wasn’t even a minute, and she was gone.” Tears rolled down her face. “I lost a little girl. A helpless little girl.” The words rippled out of her. “What kind of person does that?” She sucked in a breath, wiping away her tears. Teri watched her regain control, only kindness in her eyes. “It’s better this way. I’d only be a danger to Izzy.”

  “No, cupcake, it isn’t. If this man was falling for you, like you did for him, it’s possible he’s the one.”

  “The one.” Lauren snorted. “Not likely. Lauren Daniels doesn’t fall in love, and men don’t fall in love with her. The one doesn’t exist for me.”

  “That’s fear talking. As much as you tout yourself as being a kickass, take-no-prisoners, commit-to-no-man woman, you found the one man who could read through all your bullshit, didn’t you? And he liked you.”

  Lauren stiffened, grasping for a show of indifference. But she could feel the heat in Teri’s eyes; she wasn’t buying it.

  “So, you’re never going to talk to him again? You’re just going to forget about him?”

  “Yes, I guess I am.” Lauren shrugged.

  “I’m surprised Julia hasn’t busted through the door. Doesn’t she know how upset you’ve been over all this? It’s not like her to blow you off without a second thought.” Lauren lowered her eyes to her folded hands on the desk. “Wait. You haven’t told her about Rick calling and you avoiding him?”

  “No. I don’t want to burden her with my problems while she’s planning the wedding. This should be a happy time for her.”

  “Of course you didn’t tell her. Lauren—”

  “Stop, Teri! Julia doesn’t need to know about any of this. I won’t weigh her down with my issues. Lord knows I’ve done enough of that over the years to last a lifetime.”

  “But she would want to know and to help you through it.”

  “And I said no. End of story.”

  “Ugh! Do you have to be so damn stubborn?” Teri growled.

  “You know I do.”

  After Teri left, Lauren brooded for the remainder of the day. It had been stupid of her to admit her feelings to Teri. Had she lost her mind? If she continued down this path of self-destruction, exposing her vulnerabilities and heart, she’d never be left alone. It was bad enough to have Julia pressing her to “Open up. Show the real you inside. You’re a sweet, loving person.”

  Lauren gagged mockingly. It was easier to shut everyone out, including Rick.

  Why risk a broken heart?

  “From this moment on, we bend to no one.” She held up an invisible key, put it to her heart, and gestured locking it and throwing the key in the trash. “Lauren Daniels loves no one.”

  With her declaration out in the universe, she got back to work, calm and focused. In her mind, she had cleared out the muck that had weighed her down. Now she could breathe, live, and move forward. It would be a fresh start.

  Single life for the win.

  seventeen

  It Is You

  When Lauren dug her heels in about anything, there was no changing her mind. Once the night manager arrived at the inn, she swung by her favorite Thai restaurant and the liquor store. She wasn’t ready for hitting up a bar, so it would be another night at home alone.

  Except this time, she wanted to be alone and didn’t dread it.

  She fumbled with her keys to unlock the door, getting more and more flustered by the second. The dark hall made seeing the hole difficult. Having her hands full didn’t help either. She dropped her keys after a second attempt.

  “Dammit!”

  “Need some help?” a male voice offered from behind her. The hairs on the back of her neck raised as a hand gripped her shoulder. She spun around, nearly dropping her bags. “Careful, you don’t want to drop the wine,” Trent said with a stupid half smirk on his face. He dangled her keys in front of her. “Let me give you a hand.”

  Lauren’s heart raced from being startled but also from being forced to see Trent. Nobody forced her into anything, the asshole. She should have known he wouldn’t slink off and die in a gutter somewhere. She so fucking didn’t need this tonight.

  “No, that’s okay.” She reached for the keys, but he moved them out of her reach. “What do you want, Trent?” She narrowed her eyes, pushing her hip out. She moved the wine bottle into her right hand and would smash it against his head if needed.

  “To talk. To be friends.”

  “Not going to happen. Give me the keys and leave,” she demanded.

  He placed them in her hand but didn’t move away. “Hear me out this one time, and then, if you ask me to leave, I will.”

  Lauren cocked her head to the side, considering the options. The guy was relentless and annoying. She wanted him to leave her alone, and if talking to him, one last time, would do the trick, she would do it.

  “Fine. And when I say leave, you better damn well leave!” She pushed the door open, and Trent followed her inside.

  “I will. I promise.”

  Trent talked and talked and talked while Lauren slurped down her Thai noodles and curry. By her third glass of wine, she recalled Julia telling her how Trent could ramble on forever if given the chance. If only she had remembered that an hour ago.

  She raised her hand to him, and he stopped talking. “I’ve heard enough, Trent. My feelings haven’t changed. Please, leave.” She lifted the glass to her lips, peering over the rim at his stunned expression. She blinked twice; the wine was getting to her. “What? Did I stutter?”

  “No, you didn’t. But I can’t believe you still want me to leave.” He huffed. “Don’t you know what a catch I am?”

  Lauren blasted out a loud, wicked laugh. “A catch? You?” She continued to laugh as she stood from the couch. “Sorry, buddy, a smelly fish doesn’t do it for me.” She giggled to herself, walking to the door.

  “You don’t know what you’re saying. That’s the wine talking.”

  “You wish it were the wine talking.” She opened the door wide, waving him out. Trent dragged his heels on the way over to her and then stopped. Lauren stepped back, into the door. As if he could charm her after everything, he caged her against the door with both of his hands and lowered his face to hers. “Are you seriously doing this?” she scoffed. “Are you that desperate?”

  “Let me remind you what it was like the night I made all your dreams come true,” he whispered, running his lips along the side of her cheekbone. Lauren let out a sardonic laugh that echoed in the hall, and Tren
t scowled at her. “Do you have to be such a bitch?”

  “Have you ever known me to be anything else?” She shoved him back. “Now leave.”

  “You heard the lady,” a deep, intimating voice echoed in the hall. A voice she thought she recognized.

  And then Rick appeared.

  He stepped in Trent’s face. They were about the same height, but Rick was broader and looked like he could rip Trent to shreds without breaking a sweat.

  “Mind your own business, buddy. The lady, as you called her, has had a little too much wine. I’m helping my friend out,” Trent said nonchalantly.

  Rick’s eyes bored into him; he seethed hatred, and it surprised her to see him so angry.

  Lauren was speechless. What was Rick doing at her door? Her stomach turned and twisted, and a jolt of nausea bent her over.

  “Lauren, are you all right?” Rick asked, ignoring Trent and wrapping his arm around her back.

  “Who the hell are you?” Trent demanded.

  “Your worst nightmare! Now get the hell out of here before I throw you over the railing. You won’t fare well hitting the pavement from three flights up!”

  “Oh, God.” Lauren covered her mouth and bolted out of the room as her stomach rolled. She kneeled at the toilet while her dinner and wine filled the bowl, heave after disgusting heave. The sounds and the smell made her feel worse, but she didn’t dare move.

  She flushed the toilet, staying braced over the rim. Her hair was gently pulled back off her face and secured in a clip. Slowly, she turned to look up at Rick. He dampened a washcloth at the sink with a serious look on his face. His biceps flexed tightly as he squeezed the excess water out of the cloth. The sight of him made her heart sputter. She hoped he hadn’t gotten the wrong idea about Trent and her. Tears stung as she blinked them back.

  “I am…um…um,” she stuttered.

  “Shh…don’t talk.” He squatted down next to her and pressed the wet cloth to her forehead, then her cheek. “You don’t have to be so dramatic, you know. There are better ways to greet a man who has flown thousands of miles to see you than puking into a toilet.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek. “Bad Thai.”

  “Or maybe a repulsive, scrawny douchebag who placed his diseased lips on your delicate skin.” He ran his finger along the cheek Trent had kissed.

  Another tear fell from her wet eyes. “Or that.” Dammit, he saw the kiss. He was upset about it or angry or both. She truly did suck with relationships. Maybe he’d have the good sense to leave and never look back.

  Minutes passed as they sat in silence on her bathroom floor, Rick leaning against the wall while Lauren stayed by the toilet. What was he doing there? And what was he thinking after seeing Trent with her? Lauren braced herself against the counter and rose to her feet. Rick was instantly beside her, supporting her at the waist.

  “I think I’m okay,” she whispered, turning on the water at the sink. She pulled out her toothbrush and toothpaste. “You can leave while I brush my teeth.”

  “I’ll stay.”

  “Okay. Suit yourself.”

  Each time she glanced at him, his eyes were on her, drinking her in with a helpless look. Or was it regret for flying all those thousands of miles to see her? It didn’t matter. Either way it made her weep inside for what might have been with him.

  “Finished.” She clasped her hands together as he stepped back to let her exit the bathroom ahead of him.

  Her head throbbed, but at least her stomach had settled. She made quick work of collecting the takeout containers and wine bottle to toss them into the trash. “Can I get you something to drink?” she hollered from the kitchen, opening the door to the fridge.

  “What do you have?” he asked, standing directly behind her. Then his face lowered next to hers as he peered into the fridge with her.

  Chills ran up and down her spine.

  He listed off the items in the fridge. “Beer, water, orange juice, and wine…” Lauren grabbed a bottle of water for herself. “Chocolate milk?”

  She turned toward him. The air from his nose tickled her cheek. “Chocolate coconut milk. I use it for protein shakes.”

  “I’ll have a beer.”

  She grabbed a bottle and quickly handed it to him, hoping he would move away. The sudden need to put distance between them came out of nowhere. It confused her. It made her sad.

  Rick took a seat on the couch, but she sat in the chair across from him. He twisted the cap off the bottle and took a long drink. His Adam’s apple moved in his throat as he gulped. When he stopped, an annoyed look crossed over his face.

  He could be angry with her—he had every right after everything that had happened between them—but the least he could do was enlighten her as to why he was here. She hated guessing how someone felt.

  Fucking talk already.

  Instead, he only stared at her.

  “Rick, what are you doing here?”

  ***

  The exasperation in her voice made Rick’s heart ache. What a fool he had been only calling her once. Not even texting her. All because of what? A bruised ego? Hurt feelings?

  None of that compared to the agonizing pain he’d felt seeing her with another man. Was he too late? Had she moved on?

  It was then that it all came into focus. She meant far more to him than he’d realized. But how? They hadn’t even slept together.

  “Rick?”

  “Yeah, baby?”

  “Why are you here?”

  “Because I needed to see you. So we could work through whatever made you leave me.” He hated how she’d left, that she hadn’t returned his call, that she didn’t seem to care about him. It was bullshit. What he felt being with her, kissing her, was special. Didn’t she know that? Didn’t she feel it too?

  Her eyes dropped to her lap. “I’m so sorry.”

  The despair in her words brought him to his feet and down onto his knees at her side. He lifted her chin, but she kept her eyes tightly shut. “I should be apologizing to you.” This wasn’t going the way he’d imagined last night or on the plane. He only wanted a chance.

  “No, you don’t owe me anything.” Her eyes blinked open, red and glossy. The remorse in them filled his heart with compassion and reminded him of his own regret. “After everything I’ve done, please don’t apologize.”

  “Then let’s wipe the slate clean. Let’s start over. I forgive you. Can you forgive me?” Please say yes.

  “I don’t know.” Her words were barely audible, but their meaning drilled right through his heart.

  The last time his heart had violently pounded in his chest, he was being shot at by snipers. That he could handle. Fighting the enemy, he was trained to do. But with Lauren, he was in no man’s land and scared shitless she might ask him to leave and he’d never see her again.

  Worse, she didn’t know if she could forgive him. Heartbreaking.

  “And you won’t know unless you try. Try, baby. Give us a chance.”

  He leaned in cautiously until their lips were pressed together and he moved over her mouth. Sweet and salty was how he would always remember this kiss, the start of their second chance, and he would do whatever it took to prove to her that they belonged together. There wasn’t a doubt in his heart that this woman—this sweet, beautiful woman—was it for him.

  But did she feel the same way?

  They kissed at a leisurely, gentle pace for a while. Neither seemed to want to part from the other, but there was much to talk about, and Rick didn’t want to make light of the reason she had left without a goodbye.

  “Sweetheart,” he breathed, ending their tender kisses. “Come sit by me.” He took her hand and pulled her over to the couch. She sat with her legs curled under her and pulled a light blue blanket around her.

  So damn cute and adorable.

  “Where’s Izzy? How is she?”

  “She’s perfect. My mom is watching her this weekend.” Lauren nodded. “Who was that guy?”

  “Nobody.”


  “He didn’t look like nobody, kissing on you.” Her head turned toward him. “Some guy you’re seeing? And so soon after me.” He shook his head, clenching his jaw to calm the fire that threatened to explode inside him. Maybe flying out had been a mistake.

  No, he refused to believe that, but if she didn’t quell his thoughts, his emotions would get the better of him. He hated the dude at the door. It had taken every ounce of control to not beat the shit out of him.

  “No! I’m not seeing him.”

  “Then who is he?”

  “Rick, why are we doing this? Why does it even matter?”

  “Because I want to be with you, and I thought you wanted that too. Until you left.” She sighed and dropped her gaze to her lap again. She couldn’t even look at him, and her questions were laced with doubt. Rick guzzled more beer, hoping it would calm his growing panic. Had he read her body language wrong? It would kill him to return home knowing he would never see her again, be with her again. He drained his beer.

  “Do you want another one?”

  “No. I want you to answer me.”

  “I don’t owe you an answer. You can’t waltz into my home unannounced and make demands like you own me!” Lauren jumped off the couch, stormed into the kitchen, and returned with another beer. “Here.” She shoved the bottle in his face. “I think you’re going to need it.”

  “Why’s that? Because I’m an obtuse dumbass who thought you wanted to be with me? That all those kisses meant something to you? Excuse me for giving a damn about you! For falling in—” He stopped the words from leaving his mouth.

  He inhaled, stunned that love had almost found its way onto his tongue. But he wouldn’t be a fool blurting it out in a weak moment. How did she make him so raw with emotion?

  “NO! Don’t you dare say another word.” She covered her ears as if anything else he said, she couldn’t bear. Like hearing him say falling in love would be painful. She was confusing the hell out of him. “Now you listen to me, dumbass! I don’t know what happened in Idaho, how in two days we found ourselves thrust together. But what I do know is that you’re in Alaska and I’m in L.A., and that will never work. Never mind the fact that I’m a danger to Izzy.”