Love Me, Lauren

by Elle Linder

  “You are not a danger to Izzy,” he argued.

  Fear was driving her actions. He could work with that.

  “No, no, shush!” She started pacing. “I’m not the committing type. I like my independence. I never answer to anyone. I don’t cook, and I don’t sing lullabies.” Her voice caught, but she continued as if trying to make herself, not him, believe her words. “I’m not cut out for long-term relationships, motherhood, or marriage.” She stopped to face him. “You are. I saw it. I watched you dote on Izzy with so much love and pride that it nearly made me cry.” She clutched her shirt over her chest. “You were wonderful with her, and you deserve someone equally wonderful by your side.” She gasped for air, unraveling right in front of him.

  “Lauren…” He couldn’t take where she seemed to be going with her ridiculous ramblings.

  “That’s not me, Rick!” Tears streamed down her face. “Can’t you see that’s not me? I’ll only hurt you and Izzy, and that would kill me.” He stood, and she put her hands up, stopping him. “No! I’ll never be what you want or love you the way you deserve. Please, don’t make me hurt you.” Lauren’s body shook as the words left her lips.

  Rick stared at the one woman who could shatter his heart, and he didn’t believe a single word she had said. “Since when did self-sacrifice become part of your repertoire?”

  “What?”

  “I’ve listened to you spout out about as much crap as I can take for one night.” She pursed her lips tight. Rick took that as permission to continue. “So you’re scared. I get that. So am I.” He took two steps toward her, and Lauren didn’t back away or stop him this time. “But how dare you presume to know what I want and what I think?”

  She wiped the tears off her face as he took another step toward her.

  “You think I’m looking for June-fucking-Cleaver or that mom with all the kids and preacher husband, something Heaven?” He waved his hand up toward the ceiling, exasperated. “Let me tell you what I want. I want a woman who can’t cook. Who doesn’t sing lullabies. Who’s fiercely independent and doesn’t answer to anyone but herself. A woman who knows the value of honesty and what a precious gift being loved is. I want a spitfire with a smart-ass mouth I can’t get enough of and a gentle touch that makes me weak.”

  He finally reached her and lifted her chin. Lauren stayed silent, and Rick knew enough about her already to know that meant he was doing something right.

  “There’s only one woman who does all that, and that’s you. No matter what you say or think, that IS you.”

  Lauren shook her head as her eyes filled with more tears.

  “Yes,” Rick retorted, pressing before she could lie to herself anymore. “I want you.” She covered her face again with her hands and softly cried. “Don’t cry. You’re breaking my damn heart, baby.” He scooped her into his arms, cradling her against his chest, and carried her to the sofa.

  He sat down with her in his lap and held her protectively. He could stay like that for the rest of his life if she would allow him. Nothing had ever felt more right or real to him.

  eighteen

  The It-Factor

  The last time Lauren had woken up with a man in her bed, she’d felt ashamed and disgusted. That day she had admitted for the first time in her adult life that she wanted more than vodka-laced hookups. Never had she imagined she would be in bed with a man she could see having a future with so soon after that disaster…but did she dare to hope?

  Maybe.

  She ran her finger lightly over Rick’s shirt, inhaling his intoxicating cologne and hoping it wasn’t a dream. Nothing felt more natural than waking up with Rick in her bed.

  After she had cried in his arms last night, he’d carried her to bed and held her close the whole night. He hadn’t groped her, teased her with his fingers, or tried to seduce her with sensual word play. Quite the opposite. Rick had talked her to sleep, stroking her back gently.

  Throughout the night she’d felt his fingers twirling a piece of her hair, his lips pressed to her head like a promise that he wasn’t going anywhere. He might have even whispered; Don’t let me go, but she wasn’t sure. It might have been a dream.

  She sighed wistfully, recalling the sweetest and most intimate night she had ever shared with a man. In her heart, she never wanted to let him go. But she would have to when he returned to Alaska.

  More than anything, Lauren wanted Rick to make love to her, just once, before he left. To feel his lips on her breast, his hand between her thighs, him inside her. She closed her eyes, imagining what it would be like. Would he whisper sweet nothings in her ear? Would the sound of his buttery voice intensify her ecstasy?

  It would be a cruel joke from the universe to leave such a beautiful, sensual act relegated to her imagination. Dreaming of what it would be like to be one with him, yet never experiencing it.

  A low hum woke her from her fantasy. She propped up on his chest and smiled down at him. “Morning.”

  “Waking up with you, I must be dreaming. Morning, beautiful.”

  “You’re sweet. Did you sleep okay? Did I hog the blankets? Kick you in the back? Talk in my sleep?” She bit her lower lip. “Snore?” She grimaced at the thought of possibly spoiling his sleep with her snoring through the night. Not that anyone had told her she snored, but she desperately didn’t want him to regret sleeping with her.

  “Sweetheart, you were a perfect bedmate. I want you with me every night.”

  Every night?

  “That will be a challenge when you return to Alaska.” She flopped back onto her pillow and stared at the ceiling.

  “About that…I’m moving to Idaho. To Faithful Falls.”

  “You are? When did that happen? Why didn’t you tell me last night?” Idaho? But he wanted to be with her? That didn’t make sense. If he wants me, wouldn’t he want to live near me?

  “Slow down. Because we had other things to deal with last night. I’m going to open a microbrewery in town.” He grinned wide, elation shining brightly in his eyes. He would be closer to her in Idaho…but not as close as she wanted him.

  “Wow, that’s great. Exciting! I’m really happy for you.” Rick studied her intently. She shifted nervously. Arousal sparked between her legs as he raked his eyes over her hair, her lips, her neck. The hairs on her nape stood to attention as he unfolded her with his eyes, revealing her vulnerability. For the first time in her life, she didn’t have control of her emotions, and she welcomed it—she welcomed him. She inhaled as he licked his lips and again just before he claimed her mouth.

  Rick kissed her slowly, tugging gently on her bottom lip. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, craving him more every time his tongue slipped into her mouth.

  “I want you,” she whispered.

  Rick froze above her, staring into her eyes. She saw the look Luke had every time Julia entered a room. Love. Adoration. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Unless you don’t want to?”

  “I want to, but only if you’re sure?”

  “I’m sure.” She lifted his shirt up and over his head, and then her own. Rick’s chest quaked with each breath he took while looking at her breasts. It filled her with pride as he stared in awe at the bra, and it excited her knowing that under her shorts she wore a G-string. The pair was her favorite—taupe underneath black lace. Pretty yet sexy. She couldn’t wait to see his reaction.

  Rick had slept in his boxers last night, at her insistence. He’d worried she would feel uncomfortable, but she hadn’t. The same worry in his face last night reappeared as he metaphorically drooled over her. She playfully pushed him back and stood to slip her shorts off, and to tease him, she turned so he’d see her bare ass as she put her shorts on the dresser.

  “Holy fuck, baby. I…I’m speechless. You’re too fucking delicious. I think I might lose it just looking at you.” He covered his eyes and gripped his crotch.

  Lauren threw her head back, giggling. “Now you’re trying to charm me. With you, I’m a sure
thing. No need for charm or foreplay.” She climbed onto the bed, removed his hand from his eyes, and placed it on her back. “Make love to me, Rick…over…and over…and over again.” He nodded as she covered his mouth with hers, and she felt him set free the burning inferno inside himself.

  He discovered her body with an endearing timidity, as if one jarring movement would break her. Sweet and hesitant, he caressed her skin, blowing her mind with each meaningful touch. He glided his hand over her cleavage, from one side to the other. Rick growled low and deep in his throat with a devilish grin on his face but then abruptly stopped his inspection of her.

  “A front clasp.” She nodded and winked. He straddled her but didn’t put his weight on her small frame. One handedly, the expert that he was, he freed her aching breasts. They spazzed and tingled, begging for his attention. Lauren gripped the sheet as he scooted down her body, brushing over her nipples with his fingers. Her eyes closed as the heat of his tongue swirled over her pink bud.

  “Ahh.” She trembled as she moistened her panties, feeling an orgasm burgeoning in her core. This unexpected thrill caught her off-guard.

  Rick squeezed, rubbed, and fondled her nipple, magnifying the ache down low into a flaming heat. The instant he drew her into his mouth and slid a hand between her legs, Lauren went off, fast and hard, bursting like a fiery volcano.

  “Oh, Rick…yes!” she screamed, gripping the back of his head. She gyrated her pelvis into his hand, grinded and panted, and bucked and gasped as he continued to suckle with insatiable hunger. Another orgasm was already on the rise; it didn’t seem possible. “Rick…Rick…” she cried.

  But he didn’t stop, focused on her and her body, pleasing her like his life depended on it with his mouth and fingers. A fountain of warmth swept through her, lighting the way to her ecstasy, when out of the blue he stopped, leaving her cold and exposed.

  She whined, squeezing the sheets in her fist. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

  Her body seized as he removed her G-string and spread her legs wide, and then he lifted her to his face. “Holy…oh, fuck…oooh!” She gripped her head, trying to catch her breath and struggling not to close her thighs along the sides of his head. Instead, she pressed the palms of her hands against her head and prayed she didn’t suffocate him.

  If he didn’t slip inside her soon, another orgasm would build. It was psychotic to want a man to stop his oral pleasuring, but she couldn’t help herself. She needed him more than anything. She couldn’t wait. She couldn’t think. Lauren reached for his head and pulled him up, crashing their mouths together. Her appetite unleashed, she sucked on his plump lips, tasting her own sweetness and involuntarily bucking into him in a whimpering frenzy.

  “Please, Rick…please…”

  “Are you sure?” he teased, slipping his boxers down to his thighs.

  “God, yes…yes!”

  He took her head in his hands, and he kissed her softly. “You are spectacular,” he whispered. “So fucking magnificent.” She arched into him, feeling him at her opening, urging him along, but Rick hesitated. “Shit! I need a condom.”

  “In the drawer.” He raised an eyebrow. “Shut up! Like you don’t keep a stash beside the bed.”

  “Right.” Rick opened the drawer and removed a condom. “This isn’t the kind I use.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

  “I’m just saying.”

  “And where are yours?” He looked around the room and dropped his head shamefully.

  “In my duffle bag…in the car.”

  “Yeah, way to be prepared.” Lauren snatched the packet from him, ripped it open, and proceeded to roll it on him. “It’s a little tight.”

  “’Cause it’s not the kind I use.”

  “Shush! It’s on.”

  “You get a little bitchy when you’re sexually frustrated. I’ll need to remember that.” Her mouth opened, but he covered it with his before she could give him a tongue-lashing.

  Rick pressed into her, then retreated and pressed a bit further before repeating the move. “I don’t want to hurt you. Do you have lube?” he whispered into her mouth.

  That she didn’t have. Most of the guys she had been with were what she considered average, but Rick felt thicker when she rolled the condom on him. If it broke, she’d be pissed. Reaching down between them, she took him in her hand and her eyes went wide trying to size him up. “You’re clean, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you sure? ’Cause if this thing breaks—”

  “I’m clean, I swear!”

  She threw her leg around his thigh, cupped his ass, and opened for him. He thrust into her, clearing the gate. Her mouth gaped as she held her breath, taking all of him in. “Are you okay?” She nodded, smiling up at him. “You are so adorable, it’s irritating.”

  He set a steady rhythm as he swayed his hips, moving in and out, slow and steady.

  She loved having him inside her.

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.” She smirked. Rick shook his head and went back to kissing her with all the passion she had longed for her entire life. To be kissed breathless by a man that thought she was irritatingly adorable was magical. She couldn’t help but smile as he kissed her.

  Something happened to her somewhere between his playful nibbles and meaningful gazes into her soul. A startling, uncontrollable urge to cry possessed her. The sensation formed powerfully in her chest as he rocked into her and smothered her with love.

  To be connected to the only man she’d ever really cared about launched her into an emotional thunderstorm. A booming clasp of her heart against her chest sent tears rolling down the sides of her face, two at a time.

  “Jesus, did I hurt you?” Lauren shook her head. “Do you want me to stop?” She shook her head again, hiding her face in his chest. “You’re scaring me, baby.”

  “I’m sorry. Don’t stop.” His pace slowed as he rocked gently. “I’m overwhelmed. Feeling you. Being like this with you…it makes me want to cry.”

  Rick buried his face in the crook of her neck, slipping his hands under her. He held her close, and she never wanted him to let her go.

  ***

  They rocked as one, hearts beating to the same love song. Rick kissed her neck as she held him in place. Every time Lauren’s chest quaked below him, releasing jagged breaths, he grew to adore her more and more.

  What in the hell was with all these emotions that filled the space between them during sex?

  SEX?

  This wasn’t sex.

  For the first time in his life, after twenty years of sexual experiences and way too many women to count, he was making love to the woman who overwhelmed every one of his senses: touch, sight, taste, scent, and sound. Feeling the inside of her made Rick want to love her, all of her, forever.

  He felt pressure build down low as her speed increased and her nails pierced the flesh of his shoulders. “Harder…harder!” she cried. And on command, he thrust into her with a controlled force, bringing them both to the other side.

  Lauren arched into him, squeezing his thigh with her leg and clenching around him, and he blew with the force of a hot spring. She cupped his face and kissed him fervently, keeping her pelvis going longer than he was used to. Her body moved in a fluid wave of arousal as her warmth blanketed his cock. Nothing had ever felt so amazing. So natural. So hot. It was as if he wasn’t wearing a condom at all.

  As if he wasn’t wearing a condom at all…

  Oh, shit.

  A million thoughts ran through his head as his queen slowly calmed. But one repeated like a broken record: “Is she going to be pissed?”

  No, no, no…NO!

  “Mmm, you are an amazing fuck,” she teased him in a sultry voice. “By far, the best I have ever had.”

  Something about that statement made him wince. He wouldn’t go there. He couldn’t go there. She was his future, and her past didn’t matter to him.

  “You blew my mind three times…three�
��times.” A sated sigh filled his ears, and then her eyes flashed up at his. She gyrated her hips, chewing on the corner of her lower lip, and he knew that she’d figured it out. “It broke?” He nodded, bracing himself for her to lose it. “But you’re clean, right?”

  “Completely. I always use a condom.” She furrowed her brow at him. “Except one time…which is why Izzy is here.”

  Lauren turned her head to the side, and quickly a trail of tears dampened her pillow. If she hadn’t started crying first, he might have turned into a blubbering fool. That was definitely his most embarrassing moment. Rick cry, postcoital? Never.

  But with her, he was on the verge—especially after seeing her weep.

  Bringing Renee up after the most divine sexual experience of his life confirmed he was a damn fool. It was the stupidest thing he could have possibly done. And Lauren hadn’t run off at the mouth, thrown a tantrum, or hit him. She cried, and that was worse than all the alternatives rolled into one.

  Nice job, knucklehead.

  “Baby, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. We both had lives before each other, but…but,” she choked out. “I’ve never been so happy, and now the sheets need to be changed and I don’t want to leave the bed.”

  He laughed, pressing his lips to her temple. She was upset about the sheets, not that he had a baby with Renee. Relief didn’t describe how he felt knowing she was happy. Elated might be a better word. “I’ll change the sheets and you clean yourself up.”

  “What did you say?”

  “What?”

  “You’ll change the sheets?” she repeated.

  “Is that a trick question?”

  She giggled and giggled and giggled, dotting his face with kisses. The taste of her salty tears imprinted on his heart. His girl had become everything to him in one morning of lovemaking.

  nineteen

  Renee, Renee, Renee

  Julia only had two months until the wedding. Flowers and a cake had been selected, and now she would be tackling the dinner menu. Like she had promised Luke, she would have all the details of their wedding finalized before the end of August. Not only was she keeping her promise, she had half the month left.