Love Me, Lauren

by Elle Linder

  “Not funny, Rick!”

  “It’s a little funny, my dark beauty. Knowing you, you probably diced it up and tossed it onto the highway to feed the vultures.”

  “I’d never.” She tickled him until he pulled back hard.

  “No more!” He raised his hands in surrender.

  “That’s right, tough guy. Don’t forget I know exactly how to torture you now.” She winked wickedly.

  Rick had always been ticklish, and last night, Lauren had discovered how ticklish he was when her hand had crept under his armpits. He had flopped around on the bed like a kid, begging for mercy. Mercy she had not given him. Not until she found all his sensitive spots “to use for ammo later,” she had said. Apparently, she was dead serious, because now she had an evil look in her eyes.

  “Shit, babe, you’re hardcore.” He labored to catch his breath.

  “Violently hardcore. And don’t you forget it.”

  Rick wrapped his arms around her, kissing her softly. “I’ll see you in a week.”

  “Find Renee and fast. Julia is strong and the most compassionate person I know, but she bleeds, and Luke being gone, even with you, will be a huge challenge for her to hold it together.”

  “We will. Luke isn’t looking forward to this trip either.”

  The evening air was crisp in Juneau, similar to northern Idaho. Rick and Luke arrived after nine. Luke wanted to run by the house, hoping they’d catch Renee there and could return home right away. Rick went along with Luke’s idea; he had always been better with his gut instinct anyway.

  They pulled up to the house and found it dark. Not a single light on. Still, the two got out of the car, and Luke unlocked the door to lead them in. The place reeked of spoiled food and booze.

  “Shit it stinks in here.” Rick covered his nose.

  “She’s obviously been here and not alone.” Luke held his sleeve to his nose.

  The kitchen was a disaster of empty takeout containers, dirty dishes, and empty beer cans. Red solo cups were everywhere, like she’d had a party in the last day or two. Several bongs were strewn about, and at the stove, it looked like someone had attempted to cook meth. It turned Rick’s stomach watching Luke walk through his old home. The home that had once been his children’s home and Izzy’s home. Sadly, the scene validated his decision to get full custody of his daughter.

  He followed Luke up the stairs to the bedroom quietly, in case she was in her room and not alone. Rick focused with his trained ears but heard nothing.

  Luke opened the door slowly. He stepped back, covering his mouth as he pinched his nose. The stench of sex poured out of the room. Used condoms were thrown on the floor, the bed was soiled, the curtains were closed, and residual white powder was on the dresser.

  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” Luke yelled, storming out of the bedroom. He opened the kids’ doors, and Rick followed him to find their rooms trashed as well. He let out a primal growl, marching down the stairs and out the front door.

  Rick followed Luke, his own anger and disgust building with every breath he took. Undoubtedly, Luke’s emotions were off the charts compared to his. Luke had been married to Renee, and this had once been his home, but Rick knew it was Luke’s two kids that were at the forefront of his mind.

  Anything Rick might be feeling was nothing compared to what Luke felt.

  Luke was out the door several feet in front of Rick when he twisted around and punched the exterior wall, his face red with fury. That was a look Rick hadn’t seen since three years ago when Luke had caught Renee and him in bed together. The same regret he’d felt back then now entered his body, the memory as clear as if it were yesterday.

  “Why in the fuck does she do this? Why?” Luke paced, hands in tight fists, chest rising and falling hard. He stopped abruptly, punching the wall again, then paced some more. Each time Luke punched the wall, Rick stiffened. Was he ever grateful to not be the cause of Luke’s fury. “If it weren’t for the kids, I’d let her destroy herself. Son of a bitch!” He went back to the door and locked it. “Let’s go.”

  They got into the rental car and drove off. Rick didn’t say a single word, fearing he might make matters worse. A raging Luke was no one to mess around with unless you had a death wish. Sadly, Luke’s hands were tied because of the kids. As he opened and closed his hands, Rick shook his head, pissed at Renee on Luke’s behalf.

  It was true, Luke would have cut Renee loose years ago for all the shit she’d put him through during their marriage. It had been hell for Luke, and Rick had heard it all during deployments and over drinks at the local pub. The few times she’d kicked Luke out of the house, Rick had given Luke a place to crash on his couch. Every story Luke had told him made Renee sound like a crazy bitch. It hadn’t seemed believable. After all, Luke had willingly married Renee. He claimed he had been young and stupid back then. It was probably true.

  Having an affair with Renee had shown Rick that Luke had been right. Screwing her that night had been the biggest mistake of his life. The only good to come from it was Izzy. And for Luke, he had Julia now. Slowly their damaged friendship was healing, and for that, Rick was grateful. He would never betray Luke again.

  Rick had always had the highest degree of respect for Luke despite sleeping with his wife. For years, Rick had endeavored to be more like Luke, always falling short in everything. But he wouldn’t give up trying to be a better man. A worthy man.

  If there was one thing Luke had taught him about life and love it was to never have any regrets. It was one of the reasons Luke had stayed with Renee even though he didn’t love her; he didn’t want to regret tearing his family apart if she might have changed. That had been the driving factor for Rick calling Lauren. He didn’t want to regret not trying to fix what had broken, and now, with the baby, he was glad he’d called her.

  “Let’s go to the hotel, check in, and rest up. Then around ten, we’ll start hitting some local bars. Maybe we’ll get lucky and find her tonight. Then I’ll haul her ass back into rehab.” Luke glanced at him, and Rick gave him a firm nod.

  On the way to the hotel, they picked up some burgers. Both were starving, and neither wanted to sit down in a restaurant. In this regard, they were a lot alike. When they wanted quiet, loud diners and bars were the last place they wanted to be.

  Rick entered the dark hotel room, and exhaustion hit him all at once, reminding him of his days in the Marines and running on adrenaline. Luke tossed the bag of food onto the table, took his coat off, and went into the bathroom. Rick could see the stress occupying his mind; it all led to Julia, he was sure.

  Luke exited the bathroom, drying his hands on a white towel. They each took a seat at the small round table with two chairs. Rick unfolded the wrapping on his burger, keeping an eye on Luke, who looked deep in thought as he took a monster bite. His eyes rolled into his head as he chewed.

  While in L.A., he hadn’t thought about eating much, enthralled to be with Lauren again and about the baby. But now he knew how she maintained her figure—by hardly eating. He grinned, shoving fries into his mouth and remembering their all-night reunion. Renee had never had an unquenchable libido with Izzy, but Lauren…she couldn’t get enough, wearing him out during his short visit.

  “What’s with the stupid grin?” Luke took a giant bite of his deluxe double cheeseburger.

  “Lauren’s moving in with me.” He grinned again. “I can’t believe we’re having a baby.” He slurped on a chocolate shake; it reminded him of Lauren.

  “You happy about it?”

  “Damn straight I am. When she told me over the phone, I had to be on the first available flight to Los Angeles. I was prepared to do anything and everything to get her back.” He took another bite.

  “That’s great, man. I know Julia will love having her in town.” Luke drew into himself at the mention of Julia. Rick knew that look too.

  “Everything all right?” he asked, treading carefully.

  “When I told her about Renee missing, she threatened to call off the
wedding.” He shook his head, wiping his mouth and hands. “I’m so fucking over this shit with Renee. Over it!” He slammed his hand down on the table. “I want to get on with my life, marry Julia, and be happy. Why is that too much to ask for? What have I done to deserve this shit!”

  “None of this is your fault—”

  “Gimme a sec…” Luke reached into his back pocket, pulling his phone out. “Shit.” He inhaled before answering it. “Hey, baby, we just got to the room.”

  Rick finished off his burger and collected the trash, trying not to listen, but it wasn’t a huge room. He sat on his bed to text Lauren while Luke talked to Julia.

  Rick: Hi sweetheart, how ya doing? Feeling okay?

  Lauren: Hi! I feel great. The best I’ve felt in weeks, thanks to your expert skills.

  Rick adjusted his crotch, remembering how he’d put those expert skills to good use that morning.

  Rick: That’s good. I’ll take care of you every day. Multiple times a day if needed.

  Lauren: I look forward to that! How’s it going in Alaska?

  “Julia, Rick will be with me, honey. It’s not like we’re going to be drinking in the bars. We’re looking for Renee.” Luke rubbed his beard roughly, a sign of his frustration. “You have nothing to worry about. I’ll even call you when we get back to the room tonight.”

  The whole situation sucked. If Julia called off the wedding or even postponed it, he’d bet his life it would send Luke over the edge. Luke had always been a patient man, solid and controlled, but he fiercely loved Julia, would do anything for her, and calling off the wedding would crush him.

  Rick felt bad for Luke. It wasn’t fair that he had to continually deal with Renee’s bullshit.

  Rick: We’re getting ready to head out to look for Renee in bars. She’s trashed her house. It was fucking disgusting. You should call Julia, sounds like she might be on edge.

  Lauren: Wow, that’s horrible. I’ll call her later. She gets edgy with anything that has to do with the ex. I miss you.

  Rick: Miss you too, babe. I’ll call you tomorrow. I LUV U.

  Lauren: I love you too. Be safe.

  Luke’s voice had quieted while Rick texted Lauren. Luke was reclined back in his chair, a sure sign he’d relaxed, and Rick smiled when he heard Luke chuckle. He couldn’t blame Julia for wigging out. What woman wouldn’t get worked up over her fiancé bailing his ex-wife out of trouble on a regular basis? Julia was a saint in his book for all that she put up with when it came to Renee. He was glad to go into his relationship completely free with no ex-wife or any kind of attachment other than Izzy, his little princess.

  “All right, baby. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, and I’ll text you before I go to bed tonight. Love you, darlin.’” Luke ended the call, slipped his phone back into his pocket, and turned toward Rick. He sucked down his drink, a small curl in the corner of his mouth. It was easy to see he was doing better.

  “Is she going to be all right?”

  “Yeah, she’s strong. But this kind of crap wears on a person, ya know?”

  “Gotta make sure it doesn’t. You need to protect her.”

  Luke nodded, sucking down his drink. “I will, with my life. I hate this fucking shit for her.” He stood, gripping the back of his neck before heading into the bathroom.

  There were no truer words. Rick knew that Luke would die before he’d let anything bad happen to someone he loved, but Julia…she was everything to him. The air in his lungs. The beat of his heart. The reason he laughed. If someone would have told him Luke would turn into a softie, a doting man, playful and passionate in front of strangers, he’d have said they were full of shit. Luke Hamill, his uptight, brooding buddy, who only laughed about as often as a solar eclipse? They had the wrong person.

  The first time Rick saw Luke and Julia together, it had shown him the kind of love he wanted, and now that he was with Lauren and had a baby on the way, life was damn near perfect. Once she moved to Faithful Falls, it would be perfect.

  Luke stepped out of the bathroom. With his hands on his hips, he stood, legs spread in an intimidating stance and an expression of determination on his face. “Let’s get going.”

  “All right, let’s do this and be done,” Rick said, following Luke out of the hotel room.

  thirty-three

  Foot in Mouth

  Paige walked into the living room as Lauren was about to call Julia. Her mom had returned an hour after Rick left. She still didn’t know why she was in town but decided she didn’t really care so long as she didn’t overstay her welcome.

  “I’m guessing things went well with Rick?”

  Lauren cocked her head to the side, eyeballing Paige. “Yes.”

  “What are your plans then…about the baby?”

  “I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

  “Oh, come on, Renny. Are you and your beau getting married? I don’t believe for a minute you’d live in a different state from the man you love.”

  “We aren’t talking marriage, if that’s what you’re thinking, just living together. But if we do get married, I’ll let you know…at some point.”

  “Well, that sounds like I might not know until you’re celebrating your first wedding anniversary.” Paige plopped onto the chair, arms crossed and her bottom lip pushed out.

  “Or our tenth anniversary.” Lauren snorted, rolling her eyes. Paige sighed loudly as if brokenhearted, but it was all manipulation. “Tell me why you’re really here?” Her curiosity had gotten the better of her. Hopefully she didn’t regret asking.

  “I missed you.”

  “Don’t give me that.” Lauren scoffed, waving her hand at Paige. “Tell me the truth.”

  “It is the truth…sort of. I’m lonely in Colorado. It seems I may have worn out my welcome in Vale, and I wasn’t sure where I should go.”

  “Worn out your welcome? How so? Did you sleep with another woman’s husband?” Lauren laughed to herself, then stopped suddenly when Paige sniffled.

  “Yes, I did. But only because I thought he was divorced. Then I found out he was only separated and it was nothing but lies.” She hung her head, lip quivering. Lauren sat captivated with a smidge of compassion for her mom. “Now, everybody hates me and they’re calling me a homewrecker like it’s all my fault. George came onto me. He asked me out. He bought me gifts, took me to fancy restaurants—in neighboring towns.” Paige bit her lower lip. “That probably should have stood out to me at the time.” Lauren nodded, watching her dab the corners of her eyes with her finger.

  Lauren sucked in breath. I shouldn’t have asked.

  “I didn’t have anywhere else to go, Renny. Can I stay with you for a while?”

  Lauren blinked, staring at her French-manicured toes. If she ignored the question long enough, would it dissipate into the L.A. smog as if never asked? She could hope. Pray. Sell her soul to the devil.

  “Please, Renny.”

  Dammit, that’s twice she’s asked.

  “Mom, I’ll have to think about it. In the meantime, I need to call Julia.” Lauren peeled herself off the couch, feeling exhausted. “She’s struggling a bit with Luke and his ex-wife. She needs me. Watch something on Netflix, and tomorrow, we can discuss all this.” She waved her hand between them.

  “Wait.” Lauren stopped, placing her hands on her hips. “You’re going to bed?”

  “Yes. I’m tired. I’m growing a human, remember?” She rubbed her belly in a circular motion. “Now, goodnight.”

  “Okay, Renny. Get some rest.” Paige sulked.

  Lauren darted off to her bedroom quickly before her mom could say anything else. The first thing to catch her eye when she entered her room was Rick’s T-shirt folded neatly in a small bundle on her pillow. He had left it per her request so she could “breathe him in.” She smiled, walking over to it, and unfolded it with care. A piece of paper fell onto the bed.

  “What is this…?” Her smile broadened.

  My Queen,

  Wear me on your body, feeling me
caress your skin.

  Inhale my essence, feeding your soul with my love.

  When we reunite, my dream is to become one.

  Forever yours, Rick

  Lauren fanned her eyes, blinking hard to stop the onslaught of tears rising. What did “become one” mean? She sniffled, putting the shirt to her nose and inhaling his intoxicating smell. Goose bumps covered her arms, warmth ignited in her abdomen, and an ache for him between her legs made her clench them tightly.

  “God, I love you.” She breathed him in, rubbing the soft cotton against her cheek.

  There wasn’t a single thing she didn’t love about Rick. His rich, buttery voice, his sensitivity, his cocky swagger—she loved it all. The last couple of months had blown her mind. How they’d met, the incomprehensible connection between them, the baby growing inside her.

  Rick was hers as she was his; it was the most beautiful thing ever.

  She pressed her hand to her belly, checking the time. Nine thirty. Julia would still be awake, so she did her bedtime routine of washing her face and then put on Rick’s T-shirt before calling.

  “Comfy cozy” was how she liked it in bed since becoming pregnant. Blanket tucked up to her neck, pillows fluffed, a tall glass of water on her nightstand. She glared at the empty glass from last night; she’d have to go back out after she called Julia. She puckered her lips as if she’d sucked on a lemon. Paige would likely be watching a movie, probably soft porn. Maybe she could get by with no water tonight. She pushed the call button.

  Julia answered on the first ring. “Hey, sweets, how’s snow bunny?” The question itself should have been funny, but Julia didn’t giggle into the phone. Lauren was sure she was freaking out about Renee.

  “Dear God, she asked to stay with me. Like move in with me! Kill me now!” Lauren’s voice increased just loud enough to be overdramatic, but not even a fake chuckle came from Julia.