Someone Else's Life

by Lacey Ann Carrigan

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Christmas, 2031

  The night before, Christmas Eve, Suella drank wine and celebrated. Next Christmas Natalie would be back home, where she would hopefully stay for a long time until she tried to make her way in the world. Part of their holiday celebration for the past three Christmasses had been loading down her Mazda with Natalie’s gifts. Lifewind would release bodyscan results, which Suella could cross-upload to several boutiques. It was always easiest to buy her daughter clothes as gifts, especially new leggings and jackets for soccer. They would also bring fresh flowers and poinsettias.

  At the break of dawn she and Nathan woke up, and he gave her a gift: an access card for the spa she loved, along with a small basket filled with fine Belgian chocolate. Suella made sure that Nathan’s golf and tennis memberships were extended. They did the same thing every year and would entertain each other by pretending to be surprised. “Oh, honey! Just what I wanted!”

  Nathan hugged her and said “Happy Winter Solstice Ultra Consumerism Festival!” He always complained that the holiday had lost all of its meaning and magic since he’d been a kid. They both dressed, and Suella took extra care with her airbrush that morning, since she always liked to look nice for the Waldheim Christmas party. She stared at all the clothes swirling by on her closet rail before hitting “stop” and settling on a fest plaid jumper and suit.

  After coffee and a quick breakfast, they set out for Riverside. “It gets colder and colder every year,” Suella remarked, when the garage opened and let in the brisk air,

  “I’m going to have to go back in and get my coat.”

  It had rained more than normal that December, bringing lush emerald grass to the hills and mountains they passed. The higher mountains in the distance showed vivid white snowcaps. “The skiers must be having a good time,” Nathan, who wore his “secret agent” style trench coat, said.

  “Can you imagine what it’s going to be like tomorrow?” Suella replied.

  Nathan chuckled. “No thanks. My knees couldn’t take it.”

  “I was talking about the traffic, silly.”

  They merged in with a steady stream of slot-line traffic of other cars filled with families traveling to visit other families on the holiday. “Hey, is that ugly robot guy going to be there again this year?”

  Suella thought of all the guards and the drivers. “Which ugly robot guy?”

  “The one wearing those teeny-tiny glasses. Like he’s trying to be John Lennon or somebody.”

  “Gerald? Yeah. He’s going to be there. You know, I think he might really be a robot. I’ve never heard him talk about a family.” Gerald sat in the magnavan with her for all the trips to the Lifewind center for Natalie’s annual checkups.

  “Gerald?” Nathan laughed. “Well, what’s his last name?”

  “Are you ready for this? It’s Knockwood.”

  Nathan let the name sink in before he laughed so hard the steering wheel slipped in his hands. Suella reached over to grab it and steady the car on the road. Nathan continued to laugh even after he regained most of his composure. Suella looked at him. He’d allowed the gray to stay his hair, threading through his temples and above his ears.

  Years of playing golf and tennis in the sun had left creases on his forehead and around his eyes, also, but when he laughed, Suella still saw the boyish young man she fell in love with more than twenty-five years ago.

  Nathan noticed her looking at him. “What?”

  Suella shrugged. “You’re pretty cute for an old guy.”

  Soon they arrived at the Waldheim front gate, which scanned their car and their plates before swishing open. As they parked and walked to the lobby entrance, Nathan said “This year I’m going to talk to that kid’s parents more. You know, that black-headed kid that seems to have a stiff for Natalie.”

  “God, I wish you wouldn’t put it that way,” Suella said. “And his name is David.”

  It was always the same. A group of twenty parents stood in the small lobby or. Some of them sat on the firm, uncomfortable couches there. Suella searched the crowd for Claudette. She found her in a corner, with her tall husband Alan, talking with another couple. Claudette’s slightly slanted eyes brightened when she saw Suella. She wore a winter white knit suit while Alan wore a shimmering, charcoal gray suit. “Well hello there my dear,” Claudette said. “So nice to see you again. You look wonderful!”

  “Thank you,” Suella said. “So do you.”

  “This is a special Christmas, yes?”

  Claudette’s remark caught Suella off guard. It could have meant so many different things. She shrugged it off and indicated Nathan by squeezing his arm. “You remember my husband, don’t you?”

  “Of course,” Alan said, reaching over to heartily shake Nathan’s hand. “How could I forget the greatest setup man of all time?”

  After that, the four of them stood around, awkwardly. No one was ever sure how long they would wait in the purgatory of the lobby before the Waldheim staff let them into the larger, more festive multi-purpose room. For Suella, it was all about seeing Natalie again. She’d spent a morning with her back in August, the way they always did, as a way of kicking off the school year. Though it had only been four months before, she always wondered what changes the passing months would bring.

  When the hallway doors opened, they found Gerald Knockwood on the other side. Like a tourguide, he said “Right this way, folks,” and guided them around the corner to another hallway. Soon they entered the cavernous multi-purpose room, which the Waldheim staff decorated with trees, banners, wreaths, and blinking lights. They’d also brought several ornate rugs out onto the sterile floor and placed comfortable couches and lamps around, too, to lend a more at-home atmosphere to the otherwise sterile, clinical setting. All of the various parents would stake out an area on the floor where they would visit with their child and exchange gifts. Only then could someone go back out to their car and retrieve the gifts, bringing them inside.

  “Man, we got her a lot of shit this year,” Nathan said as he carried a pile of boxes over to the couch where Suella sat, awaiting the arrival of Natalie with the other students.

  “We’re spoiling her rotten, you know.”

  “We’re supposed to,” she said. “She’s our only kid, remember?”

  “Home for the holidays” played over the school’s audio system and Suella straightened up with anticipation. They always turned on the music before they arrived,

  They all walked in casually, from around a corner, all of the grown children wearing beatific smiles on their faces, wearing nice clothes, their hair styled fresh. Natalie was one of the tallest girls, and also stood out because of her highlighted blonde hair. She’d set lovely curls into it that morning. When she saw her mother and father, her eyes lit up and she ran to them. She jumped into Nathan’s arms and he lifted her from the floor as she squealed in delight.

  After Nathan finished with her, Suella stepped over to her and held her for a long time, rocking her back and forth gently. Natalie felt very light in her arms. When they stepped away from each other and held hands, looking into each others eyes, Suella thought she saw a few gray hairs sprouting from Natalie’s temples and slight smile wrinkles around her eyes. “Merry Christmas, my love,” Suella said.

  “Merry Christmas,” Natalie said, beaming, looking back and forth from her mother to her father. “Do you realize that next Christmas I’ll be home/”

  Nathan smiled down proudly at her. “Yes, honey, we know.”

  They had to walk a short distance to the couch where Nathan had placed all the presents and Suella thought she saw Natalie limp slightly. It occurred to her to ask her about it, but she didn’t want to ruin a beautiful, festive day. Instead, they all sat on the couch and Natalie began to open one present after another. She cooed and squealed with glee when she saw all the colorful, high-quality, custom made cloth
es they’d gotten for her, but Suella could barely hear her, since she sat in a chair across from them. She could never get used to the huge, communal Christmasses that took place at Waldheim. All of the other families sat in various places around the huge multipurpose room, and there were many shouts of joy blending together.

  The staff at Waldheim had hired caterers, too. Servers walked by, pushing rolling metal carts containing holiday pastries, eggnog, juice, and coffee. To Suella, that added to the hustle-bustle of the whole experience. Some of the staff also walked around or stood at various places on the floor. Most of them weren’t even smiling and it was clear that they were watching the parents and listening in on the conversations. Suella had always had private celebrations of Christmas, with either her family or with close friends. One year, in the days before she married Nathan, she had celebrated with an old boyfriend at a restaurant, where they opened gifts together. That was the only other thing in her life that she could compare to these past four Christmas celebrations at Waldheim.

  When Natalie finished, a pile of clothes and gadgets lie on the couch between her and Nathan. He saw Suella gazing at the size of the pile and grinned at her, before turning to Natalie. “So, is there going to be enough room in your closets for all of this stuff?”

  “Sure there is,” she replied. “I’ll make room.”

  All the anticipation and the activity had sapped energy from Suella, who tried to bolster herself by drinking a holiday coffee. On into the afternoon, they spoke about Natalie’s soccer games, her grades, the antics of some of the crazy teachers at Waldheim, and about a field trip they’d taken earlier that fall. While her daughter spoke, Suella marveled at seeing herself in Natalie as she rambled on with abandon about her friends and the good times she’d had. Of course, she added, she was looking forward to graduation and to coming home.

  “We’ve left your room exactly the way you had it,” Nathan said. “I haven’t even been in there since you left. Your mother goes in there to dust every now and then.”

  “Thank you, mom,” Natalie said.

  A few of the other fathers and the children came up to the couches where they sat to talk with Nathan. Most of them started the conversation by saying “Hey, congratulations on getting into the Hall.” One child brought a baseball to Nathan and asked him to sign it. This was a sign that the afternoon was winding down. It was always an awkward time. Though no one ever spelled it out, Suella and Nathan learned early that the staff at Waldheim wanted everyone out before sunset.

  Nathan clapped his hands together and rubbed them, something he always did when he wanted to get up to leave. Suella saw Claudette and Alan approach their couch just then, however. Their boy lagged off to the side, slightly behind Claudette. “Hi everyone,” Claudette said.

  Natalie brightened when she saw their arrival. She suddenly stood and walked behind Claudette, to their boy. Suella was startled to see how much he’d grown and matured. He smiled with more confidence than she remembered, and he beamed when Natalie placed her arm around him. “Mom, dad, you remember my friend David and his parents, right?”

  Nathan said “Of course,” as he shook Alan’s hand first then David’s.

  David said “It’s so nice to see you again,” with a resonant, though melodic voice. “Natalie talks about you all the time. I feel like I know you.”

  As they all spoke, Suella watched David. Sometimes the boy would look at Nathan, for example when he told him about seeing him pitch as a grade-schooler.

  When David spoke directly to her, such as the time he complimented her on her holiday plaid outfit, he of course looked at her. Yet, his gaze always returned to Natalie. He looked at her with a forlorn, wistful expression that she found sweet. They looked cute together as a couple, with David towering over Natalie by several inches, with his dark hair contrasting her blond hair. Suella suddenly remembered her conversation with Claudette years ago at the center, where she was wondering when Natalie was going to start talking. She was doing a lot of talking that day! He had to have been about the same age as Natalie. What would become of their relationship in five short months, when she graduated? She decided to find out.

  “So David,” she started. “What do you like to do for fun here at Waldheim. Natalie plays a lot of sports, as you know. What do you do?”

  He shrugged. “I go inworld to play games a lot. By the way, Natalie says you do that for a living! That must be so luke.”

  “Well, not exactly,” she replied. “I work with those companies to help them make sure their servers are secure. Boring stuff. Do you like sports, too?”

  “I like basketball, sort of. During the summer I play some baseball, too, but I’m not very good at it.”

  Natalie, who had moved beside him again, poked him in the ribs. “Tell them about your guitar!”

  “Oh, yeah. I like playing guitar, too.”

  “That’s great!” Suella said, appraising him, realizing that what he’d just said made sense. He carried the soulful quality of an artist.

  “And he’s really good, mom. He’s being way too modest, as always.

  He even got up and played with the band a little, at one of our dances.”

  His father piped in with “Yeah, he likes that old heavy metal stuff. When he practices at home I have to get earplugs, or I’d be deaf by now.”

  Suella nodded, deciding to see if the boy had any ambition. “What are your plans for the future?” she asked.

  David lowered his eyes and shifted from foot to foot. “I’ll be going to college next fall.”

  Proudly, Claudette interrupted. “He’s got a scholarship to Cal Poly. Thinks he wants to go into virtual technology.”

  “That’s wonderful,” Suella said. Most of the boys she knew when she was Natalie’s age seemed interested only in surfing, smoking dope, and drinking. As strict as Waldheim was, Suella knew that they couldn’t party in there if they wanted to. The dances Natalie referred to probably featured five staff members along with Knockwood making sure everyone behaved.

  Soon, it was time to say goodbye. Some of the parents had already left. Others put on their coats and hugged their children, For Suella, this had always been a sad time, when she’d always felt like crying. This year it was different, though. It was the twilight of Suella’s school years. She was a woman now, with some very womanly feelings, judging by the way she’d acted around David. Suella and Nathan hugged her and she thanked them again for all the presents, Nathan took the last word before they walked out through the front entrance: “See you in May, young lady!”

  Out in the parking lot, Nathan took the wheel for the trip back. While they waited for the magnets and conductors to fire, he spoke calmly. “That David is a nice boy.”

  Suella replied “Yes, he is.”

  “Did you see the way they were looking at each other?”

  She laughed. “Uh huh. What, do you think I’m blind or something?”

  “Do you think they’ve fucked yet?”

  “Nathan! Do you have to put it like that?”

  The blue light went out, and Nathan switched gears, backing the Mazda out of the parking space. “Well, that’s what it is!”

  “Yeah, but you make it sound so graphic.”

  “Sorry.” He dropped the stick and drove the car out of the lot and into the street. “You know that’s the way I talk. It doesn’t seem to bother you when we’re in bed.”

  “True. But that’s different.”

  He nodded, while searching all the signs and traffic lights. “So do you think they’re doing it, or not?”

  She sighed. “Probably.”