Someone Else's Life

by Lacey Ann Carrigan

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  The Homecoming

  June, 2032

  Suella and Nathan had to rent a Magnavan to move Natalie’s things out of Waldheim. Over the four years their daughter had lived there, they’d given her so many clothes and gadgets that she’d had to store some of it in a pod on campus. The weather belied the excitement Suella felt, with the heavy fog from the “June Gloom” blanketing down on them. While neither one spoke much, they held hands the entire way. Sometimes they would glance at each other and smile.

  Suella felt as if her daughter had been taken from her during the past five years. She remembered all the hoopla from twenty years ago, when various daughters re-united with their mothers after years, sometimes decades away. First there was Jaycee Lee Dugard, then Heather Langston, and most recently Bridget McAnally. Suella knew how all the mothers felt, on receiving their daughters again. There was no way to describe it “Let’s have a huge party for her right when she comes home,” Nathan had said. He described banners hanging from their roof and balloons floating throughout their front yard. Everyone they knew would be invited, and they’d all give Natalie a huge group hug when she walked through the front door.

  “No way,” Suella had told him, chasing the notion out of his mind. Yes, she thought they should have a party for Natalie, but only after she’d been home awhile.

  It would give her a chance to get reacquainted with everything and everybody. Instead, Suella planned a party for the second weekend after Natalie arrived home. She invited many of the player’s wives she’d known over the years, including Kaitlyn Vogel and Carolyn Concannon. Toni would come, enthusiastically accepting, looking forward to seeing the grown up version of the child she’d carried. Best of all, however, was that Jillian was going to make a rare, west coast appearance. Suella had offered to send for her by paying the airfare, but no, Jillian would have none of that. She also offered to let her longtime friend stay at her house for free, but no, Jillian would not even think of imposing like that, especially when there were so many perfectly good hotels and motels around. Her artwork must be selling well.

  For now, they proceeded with the joyous task of retrieving Natalie. Slot traffic cooperated that morning and in no time at all, they arrived at the front gates of Waldheim, Suella delirious with the knowledge that it would be their last time. Today they would meet Natalie in the lobby again, where the Waldheim staff would have moved all of her things. For some reason Suella couldn’t fathom, the staff did not want her to see the room where Natalie had lived for the past four years.

  After Nathan parked the magnavan, Suella flung the door open, jumped out and ran across the parking lot to the front entrance. A couple of passing staff stopped to see her run ecstatically to the front door. When the sensors activated and the doors slid open, she saw Natalie standing there with a couple of her suitcases, meekly waving to her. Suella called out “Natalie! The day has finally arrived!” She rushed into her daughter’s arms for a long, emotional hug. When they separated, Suella was surprised to see Natalie in a slightly downcast mood. Piles of boxes lie all around her.

  “Yes, I’m so glad,” Natalie said, softly.

  Having parked the car, Nathan followed her in, and Suella felt better when she saw Natalie hug her father enthusiastically, letting out a girlish squeal. “Are you ready to start the rest of your life?” Nathan said.

  Gerald Knockwood joined two other staffers in helping see Natalie off. Together they helped Nathan and Suella load boxes and items into the cargo area of the Magnavan. With four people helping it didn’t take long although the volume of stuff Natalie owned amazed Suella. She wished someone had thought to take a “before” and “after” picture.

  When the van was loaded and everyone stood awkwardly on the curb, it was time for Natalie to say goodbye to the staffers who’d shown up and the place where she’d lived for the past four years. “Goodbye Natalie,” Gerald said, a look of tranquil warmth washing over his normally harsh features. He leaned in toward her and quickly hugged her. She reciprocated by holding him around his shoulders tightly for a moment.

  “Thank you, Mr. Knockwood,” she said. “For being so nice to me.”

  When they separated, Nathan said “Well, what do you say we get this show on the road, then? We’re burning daylight.”

  The Magnavan had old style bucket seats in the front and a bench seat in the back. Suella placed a few boxes on the passenger bucket seat and put herself on the rear bench seat, with Natalie, for the drive home. “What am I, a chauffeur?” Nathan asked.

  Suella wasn’t prepared for what happened next. She watched Natalie wave to the staffers and Gerald Knockwood as Nathan switched on the conductors, starting the van.

  As they coasted away from the curb, Natalie kept looking back at the buildings of the Waldheim campus, continuing to turn and position herself to watch them as the van exited the front gate. She kept looking back, looking back as the van turned onto Central Avenue. Soon they reached the slot interchange and Natalie crumpled down, hiding her face for a moment. Her shoulders shivered and shuddered and by then Suella realized that her daughter was sobbing.

  Suella reached over and held onto Natalie, resting her head upon her chest. Nathan looked back at the both of them, using his rear view mirror. Both of them knew better than to speak, although Nathan turned on the satellite system and kept the volume ultra low. What could Suella have said to Natalie? Cheer up, you’ll find some new friends when you get settled back home. This seemed to nestle far deeper. In some ways it was like a young bride sobbing on her way down the aisle on her wedding day. Not necessarily a bad thing! That was the way Suella chose to think of it while the van sped them home.

  Natalie had calmed herself by the time they came within sight of the Los Angeles skyline. She straightened up and took a deep breath, enjoying the sun’s rays on her face through the window glass. By the time they traveled a few miles further, and reached their neighborhood, she smiled and laughed along with them. When the van pulled into their driveway, Suella saw a clear, well-manicured lawn and a tranquil, inviting house. She congratulated herself for keeping Nathan from festooning the neighborhood with banners and balloons.

  They put all of the boxes and loose items into the guest bedroom, next to Natalie’s. This way she could take her time and move things from there into her bedroom as she saw fit. “I’m going to be getting lunch ready in just a bit,” Suella said.

  “That’s okay,” Natalie replied. “I’m not that hungry right now. I’ll just eat later.”

  Nathan and Suella ate vegetarian chili while Natalie took a nap on her bed, for the first time in five years.

  Over the next couple of days, Natalie received visits from friends who knew her from grade school. She also spoke on the phone often, especially late at night. Suella had picked up her line once when it rang, hearing silence at the other end. She wondered if a hardy solicitor had somehow gotten through on Natalie’s line. “Hello? Hello?” she asked, wondering if a robot had dialed the number.

  Finally, a young man’s voice spoke in a sheepish tone. “Hi, is this Mrs. Worthy?”

  “Yes, it is. Who’s calling, please?”

  “This is David, ma’am. Could you switch me to her, please?”

  “Uh, sure.”

  For the next couple of hours, Natalie sat in her room talking, sometimes quietly and sometimes loudly, punctuated with squeals and laughs. Nathan, who was in the yard working, came into and out of the house and noticed how long the conversation had gone on. “They’re still at it?” he said. He stopped at Natalie’s door to hear his daughter’s lilting, gushing voice as she spoke with David. Suddenly, he nodded, saying “Yep,”

  Suella knew what he was talking about but wanted to hear him say it. “Yep what?”

  He grinned mischievously. “Yep, they’ve done it.”

  After the weekend, Suella kept herself busy
with work and with planning the homecoming party for the upcoming Saturday. Jillian would arrive on Wednesday, causing Suella to feel as giddy as a teenager anticipating summer vacation.

  She almost failed to notice how strangely glum her daughter seemed, for reaching such a milestone in her life.

  Natalie stayed in bed late in the morning, also. When she’d been in grade school, she’d always been one to pop out of the bed at the crack of dawn, but since she’d come home, she liked to shuffle around in her pajamas until lunchtime. Tuesday over lunch they discussed Natalie’s future. “I scored in the top 5% for all the tests,” she mentioned casually, as if she were talking about the rolling wheels of her closet door. “They said I could go to Cal State on a full scholarship, but I think I want to wait a while.”

  “Honey, that’s great!” Suella said, reaching over to give her a quick hug. “What do you think you want to do in the meantime?”

  Natalie shrugged. “I don’t know. It might be fun to be a barrista like at the cafes near school. All the people and everything.”

  It occurred to Suella to tell her daughter that her test scores and background clearly laid a path for something more ambitious but she kept her mouth shut. Lord knew she’d spent lots of time knocking around before getting serious with school and careers.

  Later that afternoon the doorbell rang. Suella checked the monitor and saw David standing out on the front stoop. He looked pleasant but fidgeted with his hair and shifted his weight back and forth as he stood.

  Suella opened the door for him. “Well hello there!” she greeted. “It’s another graduate. Congratulations.”

  David’s eyes widened and he smiled nervously while continuing to shuffle back and forth. “Thank you Mrs. Worthy. Is Natalie home?”

  “Of course.” She stepped aside and motioned him through. David tiptoed past.

  David and Natalie were allowed to visit in Natalie’s room, as long as she kept the door open. From the lightheartedness of Natalie’s tone, she knew that they must be talking about happy-go-lucky, youthful stuff. Why was David so jumpy around her? Well, it was the first time he would see Natalie in her home habitat. For a boy David’s age, that could be daunting.

  Eventually, David and Natalie came out to the den, where the larger interfaces enabled them to call up new movies and funny clips they both liked. Suella brought out cool glasses of fresh lemonade for them. While she had been doing work and doing her best to keep an eye on them, she realized that the last time they saw each other, she’d quizzed David on what he planned for his future. It was another daunting thing for a boy of eighteen to think about. She wanted to soften her image for him. “You’re coming to the party, aren’t you?” she asked him, on one of her passes through the den. “It’s this Saturday. She’s told you, right?”

  “Oh yes, I’ll be here,” he said. He smiled weakly for her. He was gone by dinner. Suella and Natalie watched him get into his Hydropod and coast out of the driveway.

  “I hope I didn’t scare him off,” Suella said.

  Natalie shrugged. “He’s just shy.” That evening, Suella did some more work, checked again on Natalie, hugged her again just because, and set off to bed. Tomorrow was a big day, when she would pick up Jillian from the airport.

  Her flight arrived the next day at eleven o’clock. Suella’s bones tingled with anticipation as she got dressed and gave herself plenty of time to struggle against airport traffic that was still horrendous. She parked at one of the new garages, near the tubes.

  The new construction out there had finished a couple of years ago, leaving a glass wonderworld of conveyors and escalators. With the newer rules and aircraft, Suella could walk all the way up to the arrival gate after she’d ridden all the conveyors through the glass tubes.

  Suella watched suited businessmen emerge from the arrival tunnel along with women who dressed down and wore sunglasses, mothers with children, and old men on holiday. The Los Angeles airport had long been a hotbed of paparazzi and other sleazy characters hoping to get a glimpse of famous people, yet ironclad security made the terminal seem like a sterile space needle from an old science fiction movie.

  For days she tried to remember exactly how long she’d been in the same room with Jillian, rather than talk to her through a screen. This thought was circling through her mind when Jillian emerged from the corridor with a wide smile. She wore a faded denim and lace bohemian dress with a delicate hat garnished with a velvet ribbon. Suella shook her head. “Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” was all she could say as the two women rushed to each other and reunited with a long, silent embrace.

  Jillian had sent her luggage to the hotel via air cargo and it was due to arrive a few hours later. “Just take me to your house,” she said.

  While they drove there, they first made small talk about how much air travel had changed. “I haven’t been on a plane in twenty years, back when they strip searched you the minute you walked into the airport,” Jillian said, laughing. “Nowadays they lock you in a plexiglass coffin and bounce you against the stratosphere. At least it got here quickly.”

  Suella laughed.

  “So how’s everything going?” Jillian went on, patting Suella on the arm. “You must be so excited, every day constant bliss.”

  Suella glanced at the roof of the car. She sighed.

  “What? What’s wrong?”

  “Oh god,” Suella said. “It’s wonderful, but so nerve wracking. Natalie doesn’t seem to know how to act.” She described the way her daughter sobbed on the way home from Waldheim and how she’d spent most of the first two days home in bed.

  “Well it’s an intense experience for her, too,” Jillian said. “It’s a huge change from what she’s used to.”

  “When you see her, and you’re around her for awhile, tell me what you think.”

  “Okay,” Jillian said quietly.

  The rest of the way home, Suella grinned, knowing how shocked Jillian would be when she saw Natalie. Later, as they got out of the car and walked toward the front entrance, Natalie emerged from the door and said “Finally! What took so long? Everybody’s been texting about what time the party starts!”

  Jillian had to get out on the passenger side and walk around to see Natalie. Suella studied her reaction as she stooped slightly and crept toward her daughter, her mouth dropped open. “Natalie?” she asked, incredulously. “You’re gorgeous! The last time I saw you, you were a seven-year-old kid! And now you’re a grown woman!”

  “Thank you,” Natalie replied. “It’s so good to see you, Jillian.” She walked gracefully down the path and hugged her mother’s friend, smiling. When Natalie turned around to walk back inside the house, Suella turned back to Jillian, who shot her a wide-eyed look of disbelief. Suella remembered how they’d studied Natalie as she slept.

  Back then, Jillian wanted to check her aura to see whether she could determine if Natalie had a soul or not.

  The day before, Suella had shopped at the co-op for hyroponic organic vegetables, which she put into a huge salad garnished with goat cheese. Since it was lunchtime when they arrived, Suella served salad on her nicest crystalware. “You knew I was coming,” Jillian said when she saw the colorful salad, which looked like it could grow if you planted it. They sat in the covered porch to eat, on all of the ergonomic recliners Suella had placed out there. Jillian sat close to Natalie and as she ate and talked, she kept on looking sideways at her.

  “I’m sorry,” Jillian said, at one point, placing her fork and knife down. “I promise not to stare at you for the rest of the afternoon. It’s just amazing to see what a beautiful young woman you’ve become.”

  “Thanks, for the hundredth time,” Natalie said, laughing.

  “My pleasure,” Jillian said, patting Natalie’s hand. “There’s just this, I don’t know, this glow to you or something.”

  The word “glow” caused Suella to whirl around. It seemed an od
d choice of words to her, for a reason she couldn’t quite put her finger on. When they had all finished eating, Suella brought out her delicate china and sterling silver tea set so that after all this time, she and Jillian could have an afternoon tea face to face. While they sipped tea, Jillian uncharacteristically checked a timepiece she wore. “I’m meeting someone tonight,” she explained. “But I should have plenty of time to get settled in over at the hotel and then meet them.”

  “Romantic?” Suella asked hopefully, curious that Jillian had stayed alone so long.

  Just her and her cats.

  “Business,” she said. “A dealer out here. Says he has good connections. I checked. He does.” Suella was almost anxious to finish up with the tea time and run Jillian over to her hotel. It would give them a chance to talk privately about Natalie.

  When they enclosed themselves in Suella’s Mazda, she started the conversation about it before they had backed out of the driveway. “So how does she seem to you, overall,” Suella asked.

  Jillian shrugged. “Other than stunning, like she should have her own reality cast? She seemed a bit subdued. But she was always a quiet kid, wasn’t she?”

  Suella laughed, thinking about the old saying “Out of the mouths of babes.” She replied “Not always.”

  “I think it’s nice that she’s giving herself some “me” time before she starts college or a serious career. Everyone should do that.”

  The route they took to get to the hotel where Jillian was staying required lots of turns. When she finished another slide of the wheel she winced and said “To me she just seems down. I hope she’s not putting off doing things because she’s depressed.”

  Jillian shook her head. “No. She’s not depressed. I know depressed. It runs in my family. That girl is definitely not depressed. What makes you think she is?”

  “Well, she’s listless. The first three days she stayed in bed til ten o’clock. To me that’s listless.”

  “Hmmm,” Jillian said.

  “What?” Suella gripped the steering wheel anxiously.

  “Do you think she could be pregnant?”