Guarding Hearts

by Jaycie Morrison

  Bett drove her mother to the airport as they talked about the rest of the family and her mother’s New Year’s plans. Bett reminded her to look into the gallery where Nikki’s work was being exhibited; Ann Carlton had been quite enthused to learn that Rain’s younger brother was an artist, and she promised to bring several friends to his showing. Ann reminded Bett to look into the April visit. While they were waiting at the gate, Ann suggested, “You might call your father sometime, dear.” Bett’s face must have shown her aversion to the idea, because Ann added, “Oh sure, he’s still an SOB, but he’s also your father.” She lowered her voice a little. “And don’t forget, he holds the purse strings too. You might want to think about staying in his good graces on that account if nothing else.” When Bett didn’t reply, Ann put her hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “I’m very glad I came. I can see I don’t need to worry about you anymore.”

  Bett laughed. “When were you ever worried about me, Mother?”

  Ann remained serious. “I was worried during your first semester at Oxford. Your life seemed to be most unruly, almost disturbingly so. And then after your marriage, I didn’t hear from you for quite a while, which worried me too. I knew you were bored in California when you got back, but I thought it would be good for you to get to spend some time with your father, since you’d been away for so long. Besides, I didn’t feel I could offer you anything more in New York. Now you seem more…mature, settled. You have learned to keep a nice, orderly home and you are obviously well-respected at your job.”

  Bett tried not to show her surprise at how accurately her mother had seen her life up to now. A voice announced her flight on a loudspeaker, and she and Bett embraced. Ann added, “I’m sure once the war is over, you’ll be able to find a suitable man and remarry.”

  Bett shook her head. “You certainly don’t need to worry about that, Mother.”

  Driving home, Bett thought about love and how it had changed her relationship with her mother by changing them both separately. She hoped Rain’s meeting with Colonel Issacson would go well and be over quickly. She was glad it was the weekend, eager to talk with Rain for hours about all that had happened, ready to have her beloved in her arms, in their bed all night long. Seeing her mother had been a wonderful surprise that couldn’t have gone better, but she was ready to have her own life back.

  * * *

  Hours later, Bett was trying not to worry that she hadn’t heard from Rain. The radio helped for a while but she turned it off before the news finished. The fighting in the Ardennes wasn’t over, but with the siege of Bastogne lifted, the focus had shifted elsewhere. The Soviets had reached Budapest, Hungary, the reporter said, where a major battle was under way. It might be selfish, but she wanted to forget about the war and even the Army, for a few days at least. She had just finished cleaning the house when the phone rang and she jumped for it. At the sound of Major Ervin’s voice, she almost groaned aloud.

  “I’m aware we promised you wouldn’t need to come in until next week, Smythe, but we’re in a bit of a jam here.”

  Bett closed her eyes, trying not to grind her teeth. She wasn’t sure if she could manage another shift. “Yes, sir?”

  “We’ve got some last-minute paperwork that must be delivered to the administration building, and all our people are busy here. Could you possibly come pick it up and drop it off on base for us? It would be a big favor to me personally and—”

  Bett cut him off before he could finish. “Of course, Major. I can be there in thirty minutes. It’s no problem.” It was perfect, actually. She could help out the major and shake Rain loose from whatever was keeping her, and they could go home. And go to bed.

  At the administration building she quickly dropped the folder off at the secretary’s desk, relieved that Issacson’s office lights were off. Perhaps the colonel was taking off early for the New Year holiday. No, there was a murmur of voices from inside the conference room, and she took an extra second to gaze at the closed door, thinking about that first kiss with Rain. Still smiling to herself as she turned toward the motor pool, she didn’t notice the MP whose path intersected hers at the walkway to the first of the classroom buildings. He was almost upon her before appearing in her peripheral vision, and as she turned to acknowledge him, he took one extra quick step, and his momentum pushed them both against the doorway of the deserted building.

  His hat was pulled low over his eyes and other than a longish nose, his features were indistinct in the dusky light. “I have a message for you, blondie.”

  Bett felt her heart racing, but she answered calmly. “That’s Sergeant Smythe to you.” It shot through her mind that she had no weapon of any kind, nothing in her hands but the satchel in which she had carried the paperwork. All that was in it now was her notebook and a pen.

  He pushed her against the glass door, his hands on her shoulders and his body close, as he kept his head low. To anyone walking by, they might have looked like a couple on a date. “No, not sergeant anything, little piece,” the man answered roughly. “The message is, you better tell your Indian to keep her mouth shut, because otherwise, you’ll be next. She don’t back off, someone’s gonna get to you, sweet mama. I can promise you that. The line of volunteers goes around the block, and I’m at the very front of it.” He brought his hand to the side of Bett’s left breast.

  Just as Bett had decided to try using her knee to its best advantage in this situation, he gave her an extra shove and was gone. For a moment, she was almost paralyzed with fear, but once she took a quick breath, that feeling was replaced by a desperate need to find Rain. But the motor pool was on the far side of the base, and she couldn’t seem to make herself go on alone in the darkening evening. Trembling with anger and apprehension, she turned into the building where she was, went into the first open classroom she found, locked the door, and sat weakly in a desk. “If you ever need me, I want you to call for me,” Rain had told her once. “Call with your heart and I will hear you.” Rain, please come to me right now. I’m afraid and I need you. Bett noted the time on her watch, wanting to make some notes about what had happened for a report, but her hand was shaking so badly that her writing was barely legible. Repeating her mental message at every period, she felt her heart lift when she heard Rain’s voice outside.

  “Bett? Are you in here?”

  It had been less than ten minutes. Bett opened the door as Rain’s form was going down the hall. She turned back at the sound and Bett was in her arms. “Are you all right?” Rain asked, her voice heavy with concern.

  Bett’s bowed her head onto Rain’s chest and held on tightly. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for finding me.”

  “I was leaving the conference room and was sure I saw you walking this way. I wanted to catch you, but another officer spoke to me for a moment and I lost sight of you. I was going toward the motor pool when I saw Private Ferguson from your old squad. I asked if you had passed her and she said no. So I started back here, planning to go through every room until…”

  They swayed together slowly as Rain stroked her hair until Bett felt like she could breathe normally again. When her lover asked, “What happened?” Bett reluctantly let go and told Rain about her experience.

  Rain’s face darkened and her eyes took on a glint Bett knew was dangerous. Her voice was tight. “Would you know him again if you saw him? Or if you heard his voice?”

  “I’m not sure. It all happened so fast.” They retrieved Bett’s satchel and she handed Rain the notes she had written.

  “We’ll get the visitor’s sheet from Boudreaux’s quarters and I’ll talk to my MP friend Harold Lutz, see if he has any feeling about any of the men on the list.” Rain led her slowly toward the parking lot. When she began talking about Kathleen and Whit’s party, Bett was sure she was trying to distract her from her scare and not disturb her with any other news from the base. She should ask about Rain’s conversation with the colonel, but she was too preoccupied to concentrate on the topic. Actually, she didn’t w
ant to talk about anything else and she didn’t want to be around anyone else. She just wanted Rain to hold her until she stopped hearing that man’s voice and her heart felt right again.

  Finally, Rain said, “Bett, I will always do my best to keep you safe.”

  “I know, Rain, but you can’t always be with me. I want you to teach me to use a knife. I want to carry one, like you do.”

  “I can teach you enough for close use. It would take longer to learn to throw it accurately.”

  “Fine. But I don’t ever want to feel that vulnerable again.” Bett shuddered. They reached the car.

  “I will say this, Bett. If they are only threatening with words, you are probably not in any immediate risk. They are trying to scare us away from doing what is right, and this method is that of a coward—striking out against someone defenseless who is not the actual threat. A true danger doesn’t usually give that much warning.” Bett looked at her and Rain saw her fear. “But we will shop for your knife on Monday,” she added.

  “Monday is New Year’s Day, Rain. Not even groceries stores will be open.”

  “And Tuesday is the hearing. Then it will all be over.”

  Bett sighed. “Will it really?” When Rain nodded, she asked, “And your meeting? I’m not ready to talk about it in detail right now, but will you be okay?”

  “I tried to do what I thought was best, which means I’ll be able to live with myself.” She smiled at her lover. “And as long as I can live with you, the rest of my life will be everything I ever wanted.”

  Looking into Rain’s face, Bett couldn’t stand it any longer. “Tell me you are coming home now.”

  The dark eyes moved slightly, a sure indication she wouldn’t like what was coming. “I have a few more items to finish. My meeting—”

  It must have been overcast because the evening had become very dark. Bett knew she was taking a huge chance, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t take any more war worries right now or any more talk of what was happening on the base. She needed Rain and she wanted her home right then. Yes, Rain wanted to keep her safe, but being with her was what made her whole. She reached up and took off Rain’s hat, loving the way her braid tumbled out as if were happy to be freed. Rain had stopped her sentence and looked around a bit anxiously. “Bett, you–”

  Bett opened the car door, turning back to face her lover behind the shield it created. She lifted Rain’s hand to her breast, biting her lip against the surge of desire that such contact with Rain always triggered. That man hadn’t touched her in any way that counted. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, Beloved, but I have all kinds of wonderfully amorous plans for the next lieutenant that comes through my door.”

  Rain cleared her throat. “Do any of the plans involve being naked?”

  The pressure of her hand had increased slightly, and Bett’s vision blurred around the edges. “All of them.”

  “I’ll be right behind you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kathleen Hartley had never been this unprepared for a party in her life. They had liquor, beer, and wine in the house, of course, but she hadn’t gotten the ingredients for her punch. The house was still a mess and she’d barely gotten an order in for hors d’oeuvres and sweets. But the champagne! She put her head in her hands. Tomorrow was New Year’s Eve, for God’s sake. Where was she going to find enough champagne at this late date?

  The only good thing was that Whit was still sleeping, and she’d have a little more time to gather herself before she’d have to endure any more questioning looks or give her evasive answers about what was wrong. She’d had her twenty-four-hour bug excuse and then the hangover, which was entirely real. But last night, each time Whit had touched her as they lay sleeping—Kat only pretending to—she’d gotten out of bed, saying she need the bathroom, or some water, or a tissue. Normally she loved to warm herself against Whit’s body, but right now she couldn’t stand even a casual caress. Whit had to have noticed, and she was sure she would say something this morning. And how was she supposed to have guests when all she wanted to do was throw up until she was empty and curl into a ball in bed—alone.

  You snap out of it, young lady! She could clearly hear her mother’s voice from the time she’d begged and begged to keep the kitten she’d found in the backyard, crying until she’d made herself sick when her mother had said no. Her face burned with the memory. Had her mother slapped her too? Maybe she needed Whit to slap her.

  “I must be going crazy,” she said out loud.

  “You and me both.” She jumped, even though she knew at once it was only Whit. Only Whit? That was wrong.

  “You’ve got to tell me what’s going on, Kat.” Her lover moved behind the chair where she was sitting and rested her hands on Kathleen’s shoulders. Her touch was gentle, but Kat had to will herself not to flinch. “You’ve got to talk to me.”

  “I might be coming down with something,” Kat said, but it sounded false, even to herself.

  Whit didn’t move her hands away and didn’t reply. She stood breathing quietly until Kat thought she might scream. “I don’t think that’s it,” she said, finally. She gave one little squeeze and came around to sit facing Kat, her hands now folded in front of her. “I need you to be honest with me, Kathleen. I deserve that much, at least.”

  She couldn’t say how long it had been since Whit had used her full name. Kat was terrified, but she couldn’t look away. She simply nodded.

  “This is about another woman, isn’t it?”

  Whit’s voice was so full of pain she couldn’t stand it. Looking into the concerned brown eyes, she saw the way open up before her. She could tell her the whole truth about this, about what was wrong with her now, and spare her the rest.

  “Yes, this is,” she answered. “But not in the way that you’re probably thinking.”

  * * *

  After a wonderful night in Rain’s arms followed by awakening with her on a quiet New Year’s Eve morning when neither of them had somewhere else to be until much later that night, Bett’s world had set itself right again. They’d reconnected on several levels, beginning with conversation about Bett’s involvement in the dramatic events in the Ardennes and Rain’s entertaining stories of getting Mrs. Carlton to Des Moines and what had transpired before Bett got home. It felt like they’d been apart for months, and there had been hours of catching up to do. But by some unspoken agreement, neither of them mentioned the situation on the base or Miriam Boudreaux.

  Then Rain had made love to her so tenderly that at the moment of her climax, she’d burst into tears. She’d never done anything quite like that before, and she would have been embarrassed if it had been anyone else. When she’d tried to explain her newly found realization that it wouldn’t ever be anyone else, she’d cried even harder. Rain had simply held her, murmuring in Lakota and caressing her back until she’d fallen asleep. But she’d awoken this morning with a terrible need and had spent herself making Rain come three times. That she’d come twice during the process only made things that much better.

  Equally thrilling was that Rain seemed to want her as badly as she wanted Rain. Her lover had already expressed the idea of skipping the New Year’s party, but Bett was fairly sure they’d both be a bit restless—or possibly sore—by then, and a few hours in the company of good friends would be fine. It had taken until almost noon for them to drag themselves out of bed, and now, as they sat finishing their breakfast at the kitchen table, the expression on Rain’s face made her breath catch.

  Even though they’d spent that whole night and much of the next morning talking, cuddling, and having sex, the desire in Rain’s eyes made her feel weak. Because what showed there wasn’t only the pursuit of carnal satisfaction. Perhaps it was leftover worries from her brother’s near brush with death, or maybe it was the heavy uncertainty about their future in the WAC, but she could feel Rain immersing herself in their union—seeking out Bett’s scent, homing to her voice, claiming her—as if her very survival depended on it. Holding han
ds was the very least she would accept, and her sigh of obvious contentment as they’d lain together on the couch in front of the fire last night, so close that there couldn’t be anything else between them, healed Bett’s heart like nothing else ever could. They’d both lived very self-sufficient lives, though in different ways, and Bett wondered if craving another person in this way was as unfamiliar, and as frightening, for Rain as it was for her.

  As if reading her mind, Rain said, “I am seriously out of balance when it comes to you.”

  “Well you’ve been without me for a bit. Perhaps you’re repairing your equilibrium by going to the other extreme,” Bett teased.

  “So is this the way of it for people in love after being apart for a time? And then our emotions will level out again?”

  Bett didn’t like the worry in Rain’s voice. She came around the small table and sat on Rain’s lap, kissing her softly. “Tell me how it feels to you right now.”

  “Right now? Very, very nice. But below the surface I am…simmering. And it feels almost like when I was drinking—wild, a little dangerous, and bordering on the edge of control.”

  Bett felt herself stir at the words and the images they conjured in her mind. Hiding her surprise that she could be aroused again so soon, she leaned in and bit Rain’s neck hard enough that Rain startled slightly. “Maybe I like you that way. Not drinking, but wild and a little dangerous. Maybe I want to see you with no restraint.”

  She wrapped her legs around Rain’s waist when her lover stood, not the least bit surprised to find herself being carried toward the bedroom. “Be careful what you ask for,” Rain growled, and Bett shivered with delight. She knew Rain wouldn’t hurt her, and she also believed she’d never seen Rain without some measure of self-control. Would that ever change? Would she ever want it to?

  Rain pulled Bett’s dressing gown up over her head but left it wrapped around her arms. Before Bett could protest, Rain pulled her panties down, leaving them around her ankles. “You have captured my heart,” she murmured, stroking firmly into Bett’s wetness. “Tell me I have yours. Tell me I have your body as you have mine. Tell me I can take you this way.”