Jameson's Addiction

by Glenna Maynard

  My phone rings as the girls try to wrangle Ruby Jane under control.

  “Hello,” I answer with a sigh, seeing that it’s Wes.

  “Can we talk? Do you think you can come home and just talk to me, please? I just need to see you, Peyton. I’m not handling this that well and it’s fucking me up inside. I lost a major case yesterday. I just want to talk. I promise.”

  Guilt eats at me. I did just spring all of this on him out of nowhere. It wasn’t exactly fair of me to just expect him to be okay with me saying the wedding isn’t happening a month out from the date. “Okay, I’ll be home soon.” I don’t want to see him, but I know I need to be mature about this and give him back this rock I haven’t been able to take off yet. I don’t know why I am still wearing it. Out of habit I suppose. I have to decide where I am going to live now too. The apartment is his. “Babes, I gotta go. That was Wes and well… he wants to talk.” I give them a small smile and take off against Ruby Jane’s protests, but I stop by the register on the way out and pay for a couple of the swimsuits I tried on just in case I decide to take off to Cancun on my own like a runaway bride or contestant. Whatever shoe fits.

  “It’s girl’s day,” Ruby Jane whines as I go out the door. She’ll get over it. I need to put Wes and all this wedding stuff behind me.

  I get home to the apartment, but I don’t see Wes, so I go in search of him. He’s sitting on the edge of the guest bed, the bed I slept on last night and where I planned to again tonight, until of course I get my own place. He’s reading the contract.

  Shit.

  Sitting my purse on the dresser, I approach him, slowly.

  “Hey,” I greet him, deciding on pretending nothing is wrong.

  The contract is shoved under my nose, roughly. “You signed this garbage?” Falling to my butt with my legs curled under me, I can only nod as I stare up at him from the floor. He makes me feel like a child.

  “Jesus, Pey.” The contract goes flying through the air. Wes drops to the floor on his knees. Gripping my arms, squeezing me too roughly, he pulls me into his front. “They fucking own you. How could you be so damn stupid?” Spit flies at my mouth as he yells and shakes me.

  Flinching under his heated glare, I attempt to reason with him. “I wasn’t thinking. Ruby Jane—.”

  He cuts me off mid-explanation. “Ruby Jane,” he scoffs. “When are you going to stop hanging out with that child. She’s in high school for Christ sakes.” Moving his head back and forth, he shoves me backward. The force of him manhandling me has me knocking my head on the hardwood flooring.

  Shock washes over me. I can’t believe he just put his hands on me. He’s never been violent or overly controlling to the point of physical harm. Crawling away from him, I move for the door. I’m not sticking around while he abuses me physically and verbally. No way. I won’t be an active participant in this fight he is insisting on having.

  “Where are you going?” He grabs my ankle and pulls me away from my escape. “Get back here. I’m not through with you. You’re going to listen to what I have to say!” He roars at me. One hand grips my hair, tugging hard, while the other coils around my waist.

  “Let me go, Wes,” I sob as the tears begin to fall.

  “Not until we talk about this!” He shouts in my ear. “I can’t believe this shit. Just tell me why? I love you, Peyton. I want to be with you forever. You made a promise to me,” he growls, tearing at my clothes. The front of my blouse rips down the middle. Raw fury burns in his darkening gaze. For the first time since meeting him I’m afraid of him. Scared of what he will try to do.

  I can’t think. My body and my brain don’t seem to be coordinating at the moment. His fingers skim along my breasts, and I feel sick. “It was spur of the moment. Just something for the hell of it. I didn’t mean it…I didn’t know,” I plead, trying to push him away. I just need to get him to stop and think for one second so he can see how wrong this all is. “Wes, I never meant to hurt you but we both know it was never really going to work between us. We’re too different.” I stroke my fingers along his jaw and his gaze softens.

  Both of his hands wrap around my torso, hugging me to his chest. “I’m sorry, Pey.” He squeezes me tighter, placing his lips to the column of my throat, and I don’t pull away even though I know I should. I don’t want to set him off again. “I’m so sorry,” he croaks.

  I know he is. “So am I,” I whisper, slipping my engagement ring from my finger. The loss of the weight makes me feel tons lighter, physically and spiritually. Placing the ring in his hand, I try to break out of his arms. This was nothing compared to what it could escalate into. Whitley had an abusive boyfriend when we were roommates. I watched her go through hell. I won’t put myself or Wes through it. This isn’t like him. He’s not violent or abusive.

  His hand crushes the ring in his palm and then he does something I never thought he’d do. Wes twists my face towards his. I’m in such an awkward position, I can feel my muscles straining against the hold he has on me. I’m afraid he’s going to snap my neck. He forces his lips on mine, trying to push his tongue inside my mouth, his body grinds against mine, making me feel nauseated. When I refuse to kiss him back, he bites me and then he smacks me across the mouth so hard my bottom lip splits open.

  I stare at him in shock. I can’t find any words to tell him how disgusted I am with him. I rub at my split lip, staring at the blood on my fingers. “You hit me?” Tears burn in my vision. I can’t believe he actually hit me. “I will never be with you. Not now not ever,” I grit as tears stain my cheeks.

  “I—,” he starts to speak, but I stop him by simply holding my hand up.

  “Just go, Wes, it’s over. I’ll be gone tomorrow, so please just leave. I can’t look at you right now. Just leave.”

  “You don’t mean that, Peyton. This was nothing. I was upset. You were too,” he says softly as though this is my fault. His hand brushes my cheek, and I flinch.

  A knock sounds at the front door and I call out, “I’m coming.” Let Wes try and stop me from answering it. “It’s open,” I cry out, struggling to move away from him.

  He finally realizes he is fighting a losing battle and lets me up.

  I rush down the stairs and hope it isn’t freaking Barb.

  Throwing the door open, Karson stares past me at Wes as he walks down the stairs with a travel bag he keeps packed for trips and what is left of his pride. “Oh, sorry. Spa was overbooked, thought you might want to hangout or something.” She shrugs and then she gets a gander at my face. Her eyes widen but she is smart enough to keep her mouth shut until he leaves.

  “Wes is leaving. Yeah, we can do something.”

  He shoves past the two of us without a word or a hint of genuine remorse.

  With the asshole gone, Karson shuts the door and says, “Oh my God, are you okay? I had this terrible feeling, and something told me I needed to come check on you. Well that and Ruby Jane wouldn’t calm down until I promised to interrupt your chat with Wes. Good thing I showed up when I did.” Her soft hands caress my cheek. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

  Who would have thought Karson would be coming to my rescue? She’s different now, she was there for me when Jameson tore my world upside down.

  Flashback

  Falling harder than ever before

  You set my heart on fire

  There’s more between us than just lust and desire

  I found myself when I found you

  There’s no denying I can’t let you go

  Every thought I have is of you

  There’s no escaping now

  Your loves taken control

  You have complete power over me

  There’s no turning back

  Say it’s not too late

  If you dare to stay

  You’ll have my heart

  You’ve changed me

  Jameson’s Addiction killed it on stage tonight. Jameson and the boys come rushing off the stage and I throw my arms and legs around him. He’s sw
eaty and horny. I know performing makes him hard. “You are so gonna win!” I squeal as his lips brush my neck. There is no battle, Jameson had to have won hands down.

  “You think so,” he says, breathily.

  “‘I know so,” I mumble, as his lips meld to mine.

  I was supposed to sing tonight but chickened out at the last minute. Tonight, should be Jameson’s. He’s worked so hard for this. I wish his mom would’ve shown up for him. I know he invited her. Even my dad and step-monster showed up to give their support.

  “Great show, J,” Karson purrs with a wink, and I roll my eyes. I know my guy only has eyes for me.

  He mutters a rough, “Thanks,” before his lips are back to mine.

  A different group has the stage and they sound terrible. I may be biased to my guys, but whatever. “I gotta get back to my seat. I’m so damn proud of you.”

  “I love you, Fancy.”

  “I love you, Jameson Lewis.” I spin on my heels before I give into desire and pull him behind the drama club props.

  “Hey, Peyton?”

  I turn back in his direction. “Yeah?”

  “You think anyone has ever died from loving someone too much?”

  I laugh and tuck his question away for later. Back in my seat between my Nana and Ruby Jane, I wait eagerly for the winners to be announced.

  The final band finishes their set and once they have cleared the stage the announcer walks out to give us the news we are waiting for.

  You’re so pretty

  You’re so smart

  What a shame you have no heart

  You bring grown men to their knees

  I’ve been down on mine for weeks

  You haven’t a clue

  But

  You’re so pretty

  You’re so smart

  Beautiful woman you have no

  Heart

  Queen of ice just one more slice

  To my soul

  Put me out of my misery

  I hear your voice drawing near

  I even hear it in my sleep

  Oh the things you do to me

  You’re so pretty

  You’re so smart

  You have complete control over me

  You’re so pretty

  You’re so smart

  What a shame you own my wicked heart

  The Present

  “Peyton!” Karson screeching in my ear, snaps me back to reality.

  “Sorry, what were you saying?”

  “I was saying, we are gonna get you glammed up and we’re going out as planned. Fuck Wes. You don’t need that prick. I already sent out a text to Whitely to scratch taking Ruby home. We are gonna go get drunk and make sure you forget all about that jackass.”

  I smile weakly and wince when it makes the cut on my lip crack open further.

  An hour later Whitley is praying to the porcelain god. Food poisoning. Ruby Jane is insisting that Karson and I go without her and Whit. Promising they will catch up to us if she feels better. I don’t expect to see them and if Thea finds out we got Ruby Jane a fake ID, I’ll be dead. Wes will be the least of my problems.

  I have to say Karson was cool and kept it quiet that Wes was even here. She covered my face heavily in makeup and dressed me up as if I am her personal doll. Although my fat split lip is still very noticeable.

  Marauder’s is an old warehouse converted into a dance club. They have the largest dance floor in the city, and it is jam-packed tonight. I needed a night like this to cut loose from everything and everyone. We make our way to the bar to get some drinks. We shouldn’t have to wait long. My girls are pushed up and getting every guy in the clubs full attention. Which I’m not used to. I’m trying not to feel uncomfortable. I feel so on display like I’m for sale or something. I feel weird but I am trying to not think like that.

  Dressed in a black bustier with a hint of peek a boo lace lining my cleavage, paired with Karson’s favorite denim mini, and favorite black Jimmy Choo heels, my is hair pulled into a high ponytail showing off my black angel wings tattoo on my back—my inner kitten feels sexy as hell tonight. I deserve a good time. I should feel confident and sexy. I have good reason to celebrate and an even better one to cut loose. I’m gonna be on TV and I am newly single. I never wear stuff like this but maybe I should start.

  The bartender winks at me. “What are you pretty little things drinking tonight?”

  “We’ll take some shots. Four Blowjobs.”

  “Not wasting any time are we ladies?” The bartender laughs, his eyes lingering on my chest.

  “Nope. I’m celebrating being single!” I wink as we down our shots pounding each one down on the bar. Grabbing a beer, I get out on the dance floor with Karson shaking my ass and letting go of all the stress that has been plaguing me.

  Five sweaty songs later, we make our way to the bathroom to freshen up. After waiting forever for the bathroom, I see my friends have made it after all and Whitley is definitely feeling better. She’s found a random college aged guy. I spot her making out with him in a booth in the corner. Karson takes up his buddies offer to show her his moves. Ruby Jane is sitting in the booth where Whitely is sucking face and playing on her phone. She better not be telling her friends she’s out at a club.

  I on the other hand am content dancing by myself. I feel so relaxed and I don’t care who’s watching as I shake my ass. My solo performance is interrupted when I am being grinded from behind. Feeling the heat within me rise, I push my ass into the crotch of my partner. When I glance over my shoulder, to see who my new partner is I am pleasantly surprised to hear a familiar rugged voice whisper, “Hey, Fancy” in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

  Even with barely there lights and the ball cap pulled down covering his eyes I know it is him. And damn can he dance. Jameson slides his body against mine, looking all too much like the guy I once loved, smelling all too familiar...smelling of desire. I want more than anything to jerk that cap off his head and run my fingers through his hair and press my lips to his to remember how good we used to be together. How perfectly we once fit.

  Drunk and in the anonymity of the dark club lights it is easy to pretend that he didn’t break my heart for one song. When he takes me by my hand, I feel electricity pass between our fingertips. His touch sends a shock straight through me. “I need you tonight,” he whispers huskily in my ear, singing along to INXS. He spins me around to face him and narrows his eyes at my face. An angry snarl crosses his features. “He do that to your face?”

  I try to move back from him, but Jameson just tugs me closer. Hs anger is quite sobering and the fantasy…the make believe vaporizes and all the hurt and betrayal returns. “Did that bastard put his fucking hands on you, Peyton?”

  “It was an accident,” I tell him softly. I don’t need him going after Wes and making shit worse for me. I don’t need him charging in like some hero to save me. I can take care of myself.

  “That’s bullshit and you know it. I never thought you were a liar.”

  “Yeah, well…I could say the same of you. I never thought you were a quitter. I guess we were both wrong.”

  “Don’t play cute right now. Not with me. That bastard hit you, and I’m going to fucking kill him.” He storms off the dance floor. I watch him retreat to the bar as shock fills me. People are staring, but I don’t really give a shit what they think.

  This night is turning into a disaster. I should go after Jameson to calm him down, but I don’t. He’s not my problem anymore and why the hell does he care so much anyways? He was the one who left me. He was the one who hurt me. Maybe he didn’t put his hands on me, but he sucker punched me way before Wes ever thought of laying a hand on me and his hit was much worse. I shake my head.

  Maybe I should try to talk to Jameson and explain that what happened with Wes is because of the stupid show. Everything leads back to Jameson. The bad boy of rock ‘n roll. I have to work with him, for the show. I can fake it for the cameras, but if Jameson thinks he’s going to
get back in my pants after what he did, he’s got another thing coming. We’re over. We’ve been over for years. He’s not a mistake I want to repeat every again.

  Should’ve known things would never change

  Tell me you know it’s true

  I should’ve said goodbye

  But I can’t help but

  Stay

  You broke my heart

  But I can’t help but

  Stay

  There’s something about your kiss

  It leaves me breathless

  I should’ve said goodbye

  But I can’t help but

  Stay

  There’s something about the way

  You say my name

  Should’ve known you’d never change

  Tell me you know it’s true

  But I can’t walk away

  I know I must

  Stay

  Chapter 14

  Jameson

  Earlier that night

  I didn’t want to come out tonight, but Austin is in town and insisted. I know he wants to know what the hell I am doing in Nashville, and I do need to see what the cops did about Viola’s crazy stalker ass after she broke into my place in LA.

  I slide into my seat and take a swig of the whiskey he has waiting for me. Fuck I needed that, I relax as the liquor warms my belly. It’s been one hell of a week. My crazy ex broke in and trashed my house. I’m back home and signed on to judge a talent show that will feature my high school sweetheart. I put in an offer on a house to be closer to my family—closer to Peyton. I’d be a liar if I said the longer that I am back home, the more I didn’t want her back. Fuck. Doesn’t matter what I want though. She’s engaged to be married. Sooner or later she’s going to go through with it, contract or not.

  “Dude, so what’s up?” He asks me. “You’ve always avoided coming back home.”

  I shrug after taking a large gulp of whiskey. “The show is the main reason, and now that I’m back home, shit keeps getting confusing as fuck.”

  He lets out a low whistle, he knows all about Peyton. I never hid my life from him, and it was his party that changed everything. “Have you seen her?”