Hearts Will Beat

by E. L. Todd

  Thirty minutes later, there was a knock on the door. “It’s me.”

  “Come in.” The lights were off and the candles were the only illumination in the place. I stood in my lingerie with my hands on my hips. My black hair framed my chest.

  Jared walked inside then flinched when he saw all the candles everywhere. He took them in with confusion and fascination. Then his eyes drifted to me, and once they were there they didn’t move. Instead of reacting in an obvious way Jared didn’t react at all. He gripped the bottle of wine in his hand then swallowed the lump in his throat.

  I patiently waited for him to do something, to make a move and pursue this head-on. I didn’t want to tiptoe around each other. I didn’t want him to be gentle with me because he thought he might break me. All I wanted was him, and all of him.

  Jared slowly came around the couch and set the bottle on the cushion. Then he came closer to me, his eyes never leaving my face. Instead of checking me out everywhere like he should, he met my gaze.

  Now I began to feel flustered and stupid. Was he not attracted to me? Was I not sexy? Was I trying too hard?

  Jared came closer to me then moved his arms around my waist. He peered down into my face without a hint of lust in his eyes. “I want you. But we don’t have to do this now. We can wait.”

  “Wait for what?” I whispered.

  “Until we’ve been on a few dates.”

  I didn’t want to wait. “Jared, do you love me?”

  He swallowed the lump in his throat as his hand cupped my cheek. “Yes.”

  “And I love you. Isn’t that all that matters?”

  Jared didn’t have an argument against that. He continued to stare at me, his thoughts hidden from me. “I want to do this right. I really fucked up last time I was in a relationship. I would never forgive myself if I hurt you because…I think I love you more.”

  My eyes immediately softened at his touching words. “I really fucked up my last relationship too. But I’m glad I did. Because this feels right. It’s always felt right—from the very beginning.”

  Jared squeezed my waist gently, like he was silently agreeing with me.

  “Now make love to me, Jared. I want you to.”

  He took a deep breath like those words hit him in the right spot. He pressed his forehead to mine and continued to feel the fabric of my outfit in his fingertips. Then he slowly guided me into the bedroom down the hallway, getting closer to me in the process.

  When we were in the bedroom I felt his definition through his jeans. The outline was impressive, and I found myself daydreaming how it would feel inside me. I wanted all of Jared, as much as he would give me.

  Jared brushed his lips passed mine in a teasing way before he placed them on the delicate skin of my neck. He kissed the area gently, igniting my nerves in the fire he caused. His hands moved around my waist, feeling the petite waistline. His lips moved to my shoulder then up my jawline. When he reached my mouth he kissed the corner. Then he placed his lips over mine in a crushing embrace. His resistance was evident in his aggression, and he wanted all of me even though he could only take some of me at the moment.

  His fingers moved to the back of my top and he unzipped it like he’d done it a hundred times. The fabric came loose but he didn’t pull it off right away. Instead, he moved closer to me and continued kissing me. One hand fisted my hair and messed it up slightly, but I couldn’t care less at the moment.

  His finger moved to my thong where he played with the lace. His fingers moved underneath the fabric then traveled down the curve of my ass. His fingers reached my entrance from behind and he rubbed my clitoris gently, like he was trying not to stimulate me too much.

  His touch felt amazing.

  I was sucking his bottom lip when I felt the amazing sensation. I lost my concentration and released an involuntary moan. I hadn’t been touched like that in years.

  Jared’s fingers became coated with my moisture and he started to breathe hard like that feeling excited him. He released a moan as he kissed me, and his cock twitched in his jeans. He hadn’t had sex almost as long as I have. Right now, we felt like two virgins.

  My hands moved to his shirt and I pulled it off. Underneath was his athletic build. He had a nice chest and a slender waist from playing baseball with his friends. A small patch of hair was between his pectoral muscles but I liked it. He was just as beautiful as I remembered.

  He kept kissing me but his lips became immobile from time-to-time as he felt me down below. His fingers were becoming pruned and soaked from the moisture between my legs. He turned me on in such an obvious way, and I assumed he enjoyed that reaction.

  My hands moved to his jeans next and I yanked them down his waist. They fell the rest of the way and landed at his ankles before Jared kicked them off to the side. He stood in his black briefs, and his cock was long in the material.

  My top slid down my chest until it bundled at my waist. My tits were exposed but I didn’t feel like I was on display. Jared stopped kissing me and stared down at my chest. He took another deep breath before a quiet moan escaped from deep in his throat.

  Feeling confident, I grabbed the rim of his boxers and yanked them down. His cock immediately popped out, thick and long. I never thought dicks were attractive but his was definitely beautiful. I stared at it and felt myself bite my lip involuntarily.

  Jared took another deep breath as he watched me. Then he pulled my underwear down and took the stockings with it. I assumed he would want to leave them on but he didn’t. Once my heels were off he guided me on the bed and moved on top of me.

  Feeling his large mass so close to me felt amazing. He was all muscle and power, and I couldn’t wait to feel him inside me. His thick head would stretch me the way I liked, and the rest of his shaft would please me in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.

  I wrapped my legs around his waist and dug my fingers into his hair.

  He kissed my neck and chest again, one arm wrapping around my waist. “Baby, you’re so fucking beautiful.” He kissed the valley between my breasts then sucked on my nipples.

  I released a moan in response.

  He moved over me and positioned himself on top of me. I was flexible so my legs automatically widened so he had plenty of room. His face was close to mine as he pressed his head inside me. It was thick and swollen and wouldn’t enter right away. He slowly had to push.

  He didn’t ask if I was on birth control even though I was. But neither one of us cared. If this night resulted in an unexpected pregnancy, we wouldn’t be sad about it. I knew this was the beginning of a lifetime together. And I was pretty certain he knew that too.

  The second he felt me he released another moan. Jared wasn’t a vocal person but he was now. His excitement leaked from every pore, and it was clear he was trying to control himself. He slowly slid inside me, and he breathed hard the entire way. He reminded me of a virgin on prom night.

  I was so hard up because I hadn’t had sex in over a year. I lived my whole life without it, but once Conrad and I were together I realized what I was missing out on. Since then, I’d missed it desperately. Now I wanted it even more because it was with Jared, the man I’d fallen for.

  Once he was completely inside me he remain idle over me. Sweat marked his forehead and his chest continued to rise with every deep breath. “Shit…you feel so damn good.”

  I widened my legs further and pulled him into me, feeling that delightful stretch. “God, you feel so good too.” I knew Jared was struggling more than I was. His celibate lifestyle was making this situation a million times harder.

  He moaned while he looked me in the eye. He still hadn’t begun to move yet. Instead, he held himself over me and kissed me slowly. “I want to make this last all night, but I have to be honest. That’s not going to happen.” He sucked my bottom lip then brushed his nose across mine. “I would have jerked off before I came if I’d known you were going to seduce me.”

  “I don’t want you to jerk off. I want you to ge
t off with me.”

  He made an involuntary thrust and released a moan.

  My hands ran up his powerful chest, feeling the detailed lines of muscle.

  Jared moved his hand between my legs and rubbed my clitoris aggressively. He made a circular motion with his two fingers, and it felt amazing. He returned to kissing me slowly but he didn’t thrust inside me. He just pleased me, trying to get me to climax before he did.

  I never touched myself because I simply didn’t know how. It was something I never learned, and I’d been even more pent-up because I had no access for release. Jared touched me like an expert, and feeling his thick cock inside me pushed me over the ledge. “Oh god…yes.” I didn’t mean to sound so enthused but I did. It came out harsh and loud, and I dug my nails into his skin. “Jared…Jared.” He was my hero at that moment, a god.

  Jared watched my face and continued to rub me until I was finished. He never moved inside me, just remaining still. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” When I was finished he pulled his hand away and started to move inside me. He moved slowly, enjoying every sensation. His breath came out shaky, and he was constantly stopping and resisting.

  “Jared.” I cupped his face and pressed my forehead to his. “Let go.”

  “I’m usually better at this…”

  “I’m sure you are. But let go.”

  He made a few more thrusts before he tensed. His cock twitched inside me, swelling slightly and becoming larger. Jared moaned loudly, practically yelling as he released inside me. “Beatrice….” He gripped me tightly and held on as he deposited everything he possessed. “Beatrice.”

  I felt the accumulation of his seed deep inside me. Without much experience, I knew it was a lot. It was warm and heavy. But it felt so good knowing Jared reached his climax with me, that we shared something beautiful and erotic.

  Jared remained on top of me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I promise, I’m amazing in the sack. I just haven’t gotten laid in…over a year.”

  “You don’t need to explain anything. Good or bad, I don’t care.”

  “I just want you to know I’ll be better.”

  “I’m sure you will.” I gave him a slow kiss and slipped my tongue into his mouth. After a few moments of passionate kissing, he hardened deep inside me. My walls were stretched apart in a delectable way. “Now here’s your chance to prove it.”

  Chapter Ten

  Conrad

  I didn’t tell anyone what happened with Lexie, except Theo. It was a miracle my dad didn’t see her at the office. If he did, I couldn’t even imagine what would have happened. And if Skye spotted her, that would have been worse.

  I wasn’t sure why I kept the truth from everyone. Maybe it was because I just didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to be questioned. More than likely, the entire group would gather around and discuss it like it was their business. That seemed to be the approach with everything.

  And I hadn’t told Carrie.

  There was no reason to keep it from her but I still didn’t mention it. She accused me of still loving Lexie, which wasn’t true at all. I guess I just didn’t want to hear that argument again.

  I don’t know.

  When I came home from work, Carrie was there. She slept at my place often, and since she worked from home she usually stayed in the apartment and typed her stories on her laptop. She always watched Apollo for me.

  “Hey, babe.” I walked inside and hung up my coat on the rack.

  “Hey.” She set her computer aside then rose to her feet. “How was work?”

  “Stiff.” I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a kiss.

  “That’s it?” She hooked her arms around my neck and looked up at me with fondness.

  “I had a meeting—hit it out of the park.”

  “Good.”

  “And I had Thai for lunch.”

  “Very interesting.”

  I squeezed her ass playfully. “Anything else you want to know?”

  “Yeah,” she said playfully. “What’s for dinner?”

  “What?” I asked with a laugh. “What makes you think I’m making dinner?”

  “It’s your place, isn’t it?”

  “You sat on your ass all day. You should make dinner.”

  “You didn’t ask me to so how was I supposed to know?”

  “Well, now you know.” I smacked her ass playfully. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  “Okay.” She pouted her lips. “I’ll miss you.”

  “You want to join me?”

  “Isn’t sex in the shower super awkward?”

  “Not with me.” I knew what I was doing unlike most men.

  “Ooh…you have my attention.”

  I used to make love to Lexie in the shower all the time. It was our refuge. But I couldn’t think about that now—or ever. “Then let’s do it.”

  She closed her laptop then headed to my bedroom.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket so I pulled it out and looked at the screen. There was a message from my sister. Made extra lasagna. You want it?

  Living next to my sister wasn’t so bad after all. Yep. Bring that shit.

  ***

  I dried off and changed then walked into the living room. Carrie was still drying her hair and getting ready, so I joined the dogs in the living room. Around the house I usually wore running shorts and a t-shirt despite the winter chill outside.

  A knock on the door told me dinner was there. Trinity delivered it directly to me, and I knew she wouldn’t have done that unless she was worried about me. In fact, she wouldn’t have offered anything to me at all. Without checking the peephole I opened the door.

  Instead of seeing Trinity, I saw someone I didn’t want to see.

  Lexie.

  She wore black skinny jeans with heeled brown boots, and she wore a black pea coat. Her hair was in long curls that framed her face. She was bundled up and warm.

  I stared at her blankly, unsure why she was there. How did she know where I lived? What the hell did she want?

  Instinctively, I shut the door behind me so Carrie wouldn’t hear anything. “What the hell are you doing?” It was one thing for her to come to my work but now it was worse to come to my home. My girlfriend was just behind the door. Hopefully, she took a long time to get ready and wouldn’t know about Lexie’s presence at all.

  Lexie was just as timid before, practically afraid of me. “I just want to talk.”

  “We talked the other day at my office. Do you not remember that?”

  She fidgeted with her hands all over again. “I thought you were just upset.”

  “Then I’m still upset. Go away. I mean it.”

  Lexie looked afraid but she didn’t back off. “I’m sorry. Conrad, I’m sorry.”

  “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” I stepped toward her and dominated her with my size. I wanted to scare her off, to make her feel afraid. I wasn’t the man that protected her. Now I was her enemy.

  “I wish I could take it back. My life is unbearable without you.”

  “It must not have been that bad if you’ve managed the last four months without me.”

  “I thought I was doing the right thing…”

  “For you? Or for me?”

  “Neither…”

  “Lexie, just go. My girlfriend is inside and the last thing I want is for her to see you.”

  Lexie didn’t move. She eyed the door before turning back to me. “Do you love her?”

  “What kind of question is that?”

  “Do you?” she pressed. She searched my eyes like she’d find the answer in there.

  I wanted to say yes just to make Lexie feel bad. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I didn’t say anything at all.

  “You don’t…” Hope moved into her eyes, the first sign of joy.

  “Whether I do or don’t is irrelevant. I’m in a committed relationship. Carrie is a great girl and she makes me happy. If you think I’d actually l
eave her and give you another chance then you’re just as stupid as I thought.”

  “Conrad, I know I hurt you. I understand that. I wish I hadn’t. But I know what we had. It was beautiful and rare…it was true. We had a love that others could never understand. If I’ve been this miserable without you…then I know you’ve been miserable too.”

  “That’s quite an assumption.”

  “I remember the way you used to look at me,” she whispered. “And sometimes…I think I see that look again.”

  It pissed me off that she was reading me so well. It pissed me off that I wasn’t as cold as I should be. The last thing I wanted her to know was how broken I was over her. “When I look at you all I think about is gum on the bottom of my shoe.”

  She continued to stare at me, but her expression told me she didn’t believe me.

  “What did you expect to happen, Lexie? That you would apologize and I would just take you back?” It was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. “That’s never going to happen. You’re wasting your time.”

  “I don’t expect it to happen overnight. But I want a chance.”

  “You want a chance?” I snarled. “You don’t deserve shit from me, Lexie. I got down on one knee and gave you a ring that costs as much as a fucking house and you said no. You were a coward and slipped an invisible note under my door explaining why you rejected me so cruelly. I’ve spent the last four months in agony. No, I’m not going to give you a chance after that. There’s too much hate to be ignored.”

  “Whatever you’ve felt these past four months, I’ve felt it too. And I’ve felt it much worse.”

  “So you think…”

  Lexie continued to hold my gaze but distant tears were emerging. “Please…”

  “I have a girlfriend. Don’t you understand that?”

  Guilt spread across her face. “I know…and I feel terrible. But I also don’t care. Because I know you’ll never love her the way you love me.”

  “Loved,” I said darkly. “Past tense.”

  She bowed her head like she couldn’t handle the blow I just gave her.