Bunyips and Billabongs

by Amy Hopkins

  "Morning!" the man said.

  "G’day!" Red tipped an imaginary Akubra to complement his horrible attempt at an Australian accent.

  "Oh, Americans!" the woman immediately gushed.

  Red gave her a quizzical look. "Irish, actually. What, was my Aussie no good?"

  The old woman laughed. "Nobody actually says that here, dear. Anyone who does is a tourist—and usually one from America."

  "I guess I've been rubbing off on him," Amelia confessed. She held a hand out. "I'm Amelia, and that big lug is Red. That handsome guy there is Cisco, and this is Penny." She cupped a hand and whispered loudly, "She's local."

  "I'm Ella." The woman smiled and gestured at her husband. "This is Ross. Are you from Sydney, dear?" she asked Penny.

  Penny shook her head. "I'm from Larrabee. It's about three hours north-west of the city."

  Ella smiled again. "How lovely. Ross, that's a lovely area, isn't it?"

  Ross shrugged. "Apart from the heat, sure."

  Penny grinned. "That pretty much sums up the whole country, you know."

  "Not for us," Ross assured her. "We’ve got a little chalet up at Cradle Mountain. It’s a lovely place down there, even if everyone forgets Tasmania is part of Australia."

  The elevator dinged, and the couple shuffled out toward the lobby as they wished Penny and her friends all the best. The doors slid closed again.

  "Everyone in Australia is so nice," Cisco said. "Well, apart from some of the jerks at that party."

  "Cisco, those jerks at the party and that little old lady and man are the only people you've met in the country so far." Another ding and Penny stepped out of the elevator into the suffocating humidity of the underground parking garage. "Trust me, there are plenty of assholes around here. Some awesome people, sure, but also assholes."

  They piled into the small car, both men quiet until Penny nosed the vehicle into the busy street. "So, uhh, Penny?” Cisco cleared his throat. “Red and I were thinking…"

  "That shopping sucks, and you don't want to come. Right?" Amelia twisted around to glare at the two boys from the passenger seat. "You could have told us that before we left."

  "That wasn't what I was going to say," Cisco protested.

  "It wasn't?" Red asked. "That's what you were rehearsing earlier."

  Groaning in defeat, Cisco faced Amelia. "We were just thinking, you know, we might find somewhere to sit and have a drink. Or something. While you shop." He said the last word with distaste as if he was describing something he had picked off his shoe.

  Amelia laughed. "Fine with us, right, Penny?"

  Penny nodded. "Sure. To be honest, we didn't want you there anyway. It sucks taking guys shopping. You rush past all the good stuff and make stupid jokes when you see the lingerie section."

  "Why were you going to make us come, then?" Cisco asked.

  "We felt sorry for you!" Penny said. "Look, there are a couple of trendy pubs right around the corner from where I'm taking Amelia. Just up from there is a tenpin bowling place. You can spend the morning there, we'll do our shopping, and then we'll catch up for lunch and head to the zoo, okay?"

  Both boys brightened at the sound of that. "Really? You'll let us go?" Red asked.

  "Let you go? Babe, we're not prison guards. You can go wherever you want… As long as it suits us. Which it does." Amelia winked at her boyfriend.

  “And we are so grateful to our overlords,” Red snorted.

  Amelia sighed. “If I could reach you…”

  “You’d kiss me cheek and call me beautiful?” Red guessed.

  “Not exactly.”

  Penny grinned at her friends’ banter as she drove. The outing had already put her in the best mood she had felt since arriving in the scorching heat. Speaking of the heat… “Hey, Amelia, can you pass me my water, please? It’s on the floor by your feet.”

  “Sure.” Amelia bumped around, reaching under her seat. “Here it is. Do you want me to— Uh, Penny?”

  Penny glanced at her friend briefly before her eyes shifted to the bottle. Startled, she wrenched her gaze back to the road. “Jesus. Yes, open it, so she can hear me curse her out.”

  Amelia unscrewed the lid and Boots slithered out of the bottle, dripping water onto Amelia’s lap. She hissed gently and hung her head in remorse.

  “You know I’m the one that’s going to get in trouble for this, right?” Penny demanded. Boots nodded morosely. Penny let out a groan of exasperation. “You poor thing. You were feeling just as cooped up as we were, huh?”

  Boots nodded again, this time eagerly. Sensing she had already been forgiven, the serpent lifted up to butt Penny’s cheek.

  “All right. “Penny pushed her away, not wanting her concentration diverted from the road. “On one condition. You get to babysit the boys.”

  Chapter Six

  To Penny, it felt like hardly any time at all had passed when they next met back up with Cisco, Red, and Boots. Red's cheeks were tinged with pink, and Cisco's grin held just a hint of drunken sloppiness. Even Boots was a little wobbly.

  "We leave you three unattended for what, an hour?" Penny asked. "And you get drunk?"

  Cisco held up a finger. "First of all, we're not drunk." He straightened a second finger. "And B, you were gone for four hours. Four hours! What the hell kind of shopping takes four hours?"

  Penny opened her mouth to protest as she flicked a glance at her watch. She snapped her mouth shut when she saw he was right.

  Clinging to Cisco’s shoulders, Boots chuckled.

  "Shut up, you," Penny grumbled.

  "We're girls, Cisco." Amelia shoved her three full bags at him. "It's not as easy as walking into a shop, picking up nine identical shirts, and shoving them at the cashier."

  Cisco glanced at Red for support, but his friend just shrugged. "You have to admit, Cisco, they do dress better than us."

  "Fine. But we're not drunk." Cisco adjusted his grip on Amelia's bags and held a hand out to take Penny’s. She refused, immediately regretting it when he passed his burden over to Red and raised his empty hands. "We've eaten, we've drunk. Drank. Not drunk, remember? Where to next?"

  "Let's drop our bags at the car first," Penny said. "It's only a five-minute walk to the ferry, which will take us straight to the zoo."

  Amelia grinned in delight. "I want to see the tiny pandas. Do you have any idea how cute they are?"

  "I want to cuddle a drop bear," Red stated. "Not the bitey ones, the cuddly ones."

  "That would be a koala," Penny corrected him. "Drop bears aren't even real. At least, they weren't before the veil tore."

  "Aye, those ones."

  They soon had Penny’s and Amelia's haul packed away safely. They arrived just in time to grab the ferry across Sydney Harbor, a trip enjoyed by all but Red, who sat by the railing looking more than a little green around the gills. Boots spent the trip frolicking in the water, only somersaulting back onto the deck of the ferry when it docked on the other side. The handful of passengers who had been watching her clapped.

  The recent data had shown that more humans were gaining the ability to see Mythers every day, but this was the first time Penny had seen that change. Boots flicked her head, sprinkling water on the ferry’s deck, and slithered over to Penny.

  “Nuh-uh.” Penny wagged a finger at the serpent. “You’re not getting in my bag all wet.”

  Boots shook again, sending a shower of water into the air. The spray caught the sunlight, scattering into a brilliant rainbow for a moment before falling away. The snake and the deck around her were dry.

  Penny held the bag open for Boots to climb in, but couldn’t resist rolling her eyes. “Show-off.”

  From the dock, they were ushered toward a cable car. Penny jumped in without hesitation, grinning excitedly to Cisco, who quickly joined her.

  Red eyed the car that left before them, wincing when it began to swing gently in the stiff afternoon breeze. "Boats and heights? Do ye hate me?"

  Amelia glared at him. "If you
throw up on me, so help me I'll—"

  Red turned big, sick puppy dog eyes her way. “Pat me head and rub me poorly tum-tum?”

  Unable to argue with such a pathetic display, Amelia just sighed. She didn’t complain when his grip on her knee tightened as the cable car jerked, then began crawling up the hill. Instead, she patted his hand and did her best to distract him—or possibly bore him—by giving him a detailed rundown of everything she and Penny had purchased earlier. Despite the occasional jolting halt as the cars ahead reached their destination, Amelia kept on talking.

  “But I told the shop assistant that green just isn’t my color, you know? Emerald, maybe, or forest. But not green! I mean, do I look like I—”

  The crackle of an intercom cut off her diatribe about the various shoe colors she had looked at.

  “Attention, passengers. Due to a small problem at the zoo entrance, we’ll be bringing everyone back to the bottom. Don’t worry, you’ll get a full refund if we’re not up and running in under thirty minutes.”

  “What?” Amelia snapped. “We’re almost to the top. Why would they drag us back down?”

  Penny pressed her face against the window to try to see what was going on ahead. The car swung as it lurched to a halt, allowing her a quick glimpse of the platform ahead.

  The small creature that launched itself toward the car in front of her looked familiar but not. It slipped off the safety glass, caught itself on one of the cables underneath, and lazily swung back onto the grass below.

  She leaned over and pressed the silver button under the intercom, hoping it would allow her to communicate with the operator. "Is someone there? I'm in the next car due to land. You need to take us up there and drop us off."

  "What the hell is going on, Penny?" Red moaned.

  Penny grinned. "It looks like you're going to get to cuddle that drop bear sooner than expected."

  “Car twenty-seven, that's not gonna happen. There is a, um, situation. It's not safe for tourists.”

  Penny depressed the button again. "We're not tourists. We work with the FBI, and this is exactly the sort of situation we are trained to handle. I can see you have security guards up there, but I can also see they're struggling to deal with the threat while keeping the visitors safe. Please. Let us help."

  "Penny, they're not just going to take us up there." Cisco gave an apologetic shrug. "They don't know us from a bar of soap. They can't just —"

  The cable car lurched forward as a new announcement came over the speaker.

  “Apologies, ladies and gentlemen. We have one last car to drop-off before I bring you back to safety. Don't panic, just sit tight. We’ll have you down in no time.”

  "They can and they will.” Penny snatched up her handbag from the seat beside her. “In fact, I don't think they have a choice. Amelia, did you bring an emergency kit with you?"

  Amelia nodded, and after a moment of digging, pulled out the small black bag marked with the Academy insignia. "I'm glad I stocked this thing before we left."

  "What the hell have you got in there?" Penny asked as a handful of small plastic vials clattered to the ground.

  "They wouldn't let us bring guns," Amelia said. "But they didn't say anything about spray bottles." She scooped up the vials and named each one as she slotted it back into its place in her kit. Apart from the standard holy water and salty water, Amelia had procured wolfsbane and mandrake extracts, dispersed silver, and a single dose of a love potion. She screwed up her face as she named the last one and took extra care in securing it.

  Red cocked an eyebrow. "Love potion?"

  Amelia grimaced. "If someone's drink gets spiked, a second dose will act as an antidote."

  "None of that is going to help us fight those." Cisco pointed out the window, where the landing platform rapidly approached. A cluster of small fluffy animals awaited them.

  Penny pursed her lips, examining them. They really did look like koalas. Well, meth-addict koalas after a three-day bender. The small beasts had patchy fur, and the normally soft tufts of hair covering their ears were matted and spiked. Under large leathery noses, the animals bared pointed fangs, snarling and blinking their glowing red eyes.

  "Fascinating," Penny said.

  "You mean ‘terrifying,’" Cisco corrected her. "And I noticed that no one answered my question."

  "You didn't ask one," Penny pointed out. "But I'm in a good mood, so I'll humor you. I have two pairs of knuckle dusters, three small stakes, and a sling. Amelia, do you have any spring-loaded nets? I have two."

  "Just the one," Amelia said. "But those guys are teeny-tiny. I bet I can get at least three of them in one try."

  Red piped up. Strangely, the new threat they faced had brought the color back to his cheeks, and he no longer seemed nervous about their journey in the cable car. "I have a telescopic baton in my pocket."

  Amelia pouted. "I thought you were just happy to see me."

  "I'm always happy to see you," Red said with a grin. "I keep the baton in my back pocket."

  "I've suddenly realized I'd rather spend my afternoon with the drop bears," Cisco groaned. "Can I take the sling? I’ve been practicing with one ever since there was a rumor that a giant Cyclops was seen north of Portland."

  Penny handed Cisco the sling and a bag of custom-made stones, hard and dense for maximum damage. She armed herself with the stakes and a knuckle duster. Red had taken a small crossbow from Amelia's bag, and Amelia clutched a plastic spray bottle.

  She caught Penny's skeptical glance. "Look, Australia does scare me a little bit. I did some research on the snakes, the spiders, the Bunyips, the giant man-eating crocodiles, those birds that peck you in the head, and drop bears, and it turns out, some people think drop bears are just rabid koalas." She lifted an empty vial labeled red mercury. "If they’re rabid, they can be cured, and if they can be cured, this little number will do it. That's my theory, anyway. If I'm wrong, you'll have to watch my back while I figure something else out."

  Penny nodded appreciatively. "Wow. I spent a whole semester studying Australian myths, and I'm pretty sure you know more than I do."

  "Not your fault you had a shit teacher," Cisco grumbled.

  Penny shrugged, then stood as their ride lurched to a halt. "I know. I just have to resign myself to the fact that nobody knows more about rainbow serpents than I do." She looked down at the subject of her statement. “What do you say, love? Are we ready?”

  Boots chuckled and ducked her head in a nod.

  Penny grinned down at her. “Let’s do this.”

  Chapter Seven

  The door to the cable car rattled opened and a very worried face popped in. "Danny said you guys are here to help. Do you really know how to take care of situations like this?"

  Penny jerked her head in a brisk nod. " It’s your lucky day. We work with the FBI in the States. Anyone hurt?"

  The white-faced man winced. "Yeah. They tore into a French lady who was trying to protect her kid. And Jamie, from Tickets? I mean, she's still alive, but…"

  "What's your name?" Amelia asked kindly.

  "Terry. Terry O'Neill. I run the— Holy shit! Holy shit, don't move! There's a… There's a snake in your car!" To his credit, he didn't run, as much as it looked like he wanted to.

  Penny moved so that her face obscured his view of Boots. She waited for a moment until his eyes focused on her. "It's okay, the snake is with us. She’s my friend."

  Before Terry could focus his terror on the serpent behind them again, Cisco jumped in. "What about your security, Terry? What's their protocol for a situation like this?"

  Terry shrugged. "I dunno, man. I just work the cars. I've only been here a month!"

  "We need cages," Penny said. "We'll do our best to catch the little bastards, but we need somewhere to put them when we do."

  Terry shook his head, eyes wide. "I told you, I just do the cars. I don't have any cages!"

  Gritting her teeth and trying to stay patient, Penny patted his shoulder. "I know you don
't. But you can communicate with people, right? That's how you knew we were here to help."

  Understanding dawned, and Terry nodded eagerly. "I'll get on the radio right now." He darted back into the tiny kiosk next to the cable car landing, and Penny heard the snap of a lock immediately after.

  "Coward," Red muttered.

  Amelia elbowed him in the gut. "He's just a kid. Well, our age, but still. He's not trained for this."

  Penny grinned. "But we are. You guys ready to have some fun?"

  Penny edged forward, her knees bent and her eyes locked on her target. She was vaguely aware of the line of security guards holding back tourists, who, rather than being sensibly afraid of the sharp-toothed, red-eyed little monsters, seemed to be preoccupied with trying to take selfies and get closer for a better shot.

  "Idiots," Penny muttered. She spared a glance at Boots, who was to her left. "I bet they'll pay attention to you, dear. Can I put you on security detail?"

  Boots ducked ahead again and slithered toward the cluster of people. Even before she got there, several of the people started to draw back, disconcerted by the sight of a snake heading toward them. Penny knew that Boots' watchful eye would not only prevent any of the drop bears from getting near the tourists, but her presence would also help toward scaring the tourists away from the clusterfuck before her.

  "It had to be in a zoo," Cisco muttered behind her. "There are people everywhere. We need to get this under control and fast."

  Penny gave a quick nod, eyeing a single drop bear that had climbed out of the writhing nest of mammals and taken a few steps toward them. She kept her stance low and slowly edged toward it. "Come on, little buddy."

  There was a movement in the crowd, and Penny darted a glance over just in time to see three large metal cages being passed down the line of security guards.

  Penny reached into her back pocket and withdrew one of her nets and a small stake. The situation wasn't ideal. With three nets for perhaps a dozen targets, they would have to take out at least some of the drop bears directly. However, the one headed toward her had clearly separated itself from the group and would be an easy catch.