Song of the Meadowlark (Intertwined Book 1)

by Johnson, Sherri Wilson

  She read her Bible and prayed more than ever, but she remained restless. Although Panama City was beautiful this time of year with the cool breezes and mild days of fall, she continued to think of Georgia and the fresh start there for her.

  Who was she kidding? She couldn’t live in Georgia without being with the O’Reillys. And she wouldn’t go back to be with them since Rex never called her back nor had anyone else. Rex probably didn’t even tell them she’d called.

  Cora could rest no more in her room on this rainy late September day. As she headed down the hall to talk to Mom and Dad, she studied the pictures on the wall. Only a few of her were framed and hanging there—nothing like the ones of Rex, Matt, and Clarice at the ranch. The only ones of her were those from beauty pageants and piano recitals. There were no markings on any of the door facings of her height changes throughout the years. The O’Reillys had marked Rex, Matt, Clarice, and now Susie.

  “Hey.” Cora entered the sitting room. Outside the window the fall tropical storms brewed, much like her troubles brewed inside her.

  “Hello.” Mom glanced her way.

  “I need to talk to you.” Cora sat in the blue wing-backed chair.

  “What is it?” Dad puffed his pipe.

  “I’m not sure why, but I’m not happy here.” Cora’s voice shook.

  “It’s about time you admit it. We’ve known it ever since you’ve been home.”

  “Are we bothering you? Do you need to get your own place?”

  “Do you need to stay at the beach house permanently?”

  Cora formed her words slowly and carefully. “No, Dad. At first, I thought that was it. But it’s not living here at home that’s the problem. It’s living in Florida. It doesn’t feel the same. I truly want to be in Georgia.” She sat up straight and stretched her back. The tension never seemed to go away.

  “What? Living on a ranch with who knows what kinds of people? Cowboys and ranch hands? Cow manure and tractors?” Mom let out a disgusted sigh. “I thought we raised you better than that.”

  “We thought you were home to stay.”

  Cora eyed Mom in disbelief at her shallowness and then Dad. “I never said that.”

  “I was going to talk to you about investing your money and taking over the travel agency. That way, you’d be settled.” Cora opened her mouth to interrupt, but Dad continued, “I’ve been planning to retire for a long time so your mother and I could travel. How could you deny us that?”

  Cora was quiet as the options, or the lack of them, ran through her head. The unwanted responsibility weighed heavily. Finally, she spoke. “I told you in the beginning I was only home for a visit. I think it’s time we get honest with each other. Me being here isn’t what you expected, and it isn’t what I thought it would be either. I never intended on moving back home. I wanted to come for a while to clear my head and to be with you both. Originally, I thought I’d go back to South Carolina.”

  “Anywhere but here, huh?” Mom threw in snidely.

  “Mom, I’m trying to open up here and share what’s going on in my head. Something is missing. I don’t know if the problem is between us or if it’s just me. But I’m not happy here.” Cora waited to see if they’d say anything.

  They stared blankly at her and made no reaction.

  Cora ran her finger over the tender scar from the accident on her forehead. “I don’t know if I belong permanently in Georgia or not, but I do know I want to be there now. Caring for Susie was remarkable for me when I was dealing with my feelings about Clark. The love of a little child is so special.” Cora shifted in her chair.

  “Yes, it is, and you could feel that every day if you’d just let me find you a husband. You could have as many children as you’d like.” Mom crossed her arms across her chest and huffed.

  “Mom! You’re not helping me want to be here.”

  Mom blinked her eyes. “Go on.”

  Cora cracked her knuckles. “There’s a problem—Susie’s father. I care for him a great deal. I think he cares for me too, but he’s bitter toward God. He’s a widower, and he’s having a hard time opening up to me. But I’m drawn to him anyway.”

  “Like a moth to a flame,” Mom said. “Why are you always mixed up with worthless men?”

  “You don’t know him. Don’t judge him.”

  “Why do you always have to have a man in your life? Can you not just be Cora for a while?”

  “Dad! I’ve been alone for over a year now. Besides, Mom’s been trying to match me with someone at the Country Club.”

  Dad got up from his chair and stalked from the room.

  “Wait! Stay and talk to me.”

  “Cora, let him go. He can’t talk to you. He wants you to stay. He wants you to be his little girl…the little girl he never really had.” She looked away.

  Cora stared. Mom was crying. “Mother, what is it?”

  “There’s so much you don’t know.” Thunder clapped, and Mom jumped.

  “What do you mean, Dad wants the little girl he never had? I am his little girl. I always was. Why is he so hard on me? He’s always been that way.” Cora knelt in front of Mom.

  “He wanted you to be like him, but you grew up so fast and were gone from us before we knew what happened. We haven’t been a part of your life for so long. You’ve shut us out. We wanted a chance to have what we never had.”

  “But Mother, the reason I left when I did is because you two drove me away. I didn’t want to leave. You couldn’t accept my love for Clark. You never let me make my own decisions. I always felt I was doing everything wrong. I know you guys were right about him, but still…” She sighed. “I never measured up to what you expected of me. Why?”

  Mom let out a sigh that matched Cora’s sigh. Silence hung in the room like a storm system while Mom rubbed her hands together repeatedly. “For a long time now I have felt you needed to know something about your childhood, but your father insisted I not tell you. What I am going to say will hurt you deeply, but it will also explain to you a lot about your past. So please be patient with me.”

  “What is it, Mom? Tell me.” Cora scooted her chair closer.

  “Please, sit beside me on the couch.”

  Cora moved beside her, never taking her eyes off Mom’s face.

  “Please tell me. I have to know why I’ve felt so unworthy all of my life.”

  “I don’t know where to begin, except the beginning.”

  “Okay.”

  “Years ago, when your father was first starting his business, he worked long hours. After we were married for a few years, we started trying to have a baby. But he was always tired and didn’t feel like—”

  “I get what you mean, Mom.”

  “We had not been successful after trying for quite some time, and I was so frustrated. I think maybe I was even a little crazy. You see, I had always wanted babies. You never think you’ll be unable to have them.”

  “What happened?” Cora drank in the sadness in Mom’s blue eyes.

  “Your father got tired of my constant crying and moping around the house, so he started spending even more time away. I hardly noticed. As long as he was there at bedtime try to make a baby, I was happy.”

  “But you had me eventually, right? You and Dad survived the tough times. Everybody goes through times like that.”

  “Yes, we did survive those times, but not unscathed.”

  “What do you mean? And how does this apply to me?”

  “Your father found another woman. A woman who didn’t cry all the time. A woman who would make him laugh. A woman who could make him happy. A woman who could make…him…a father.”

  “What!” Cora jumped up from the couch. “What are you saying? Dad got this woman pregnant? I have a brother or sister somewhere out there?”

  Mom sat in silence, focused on the floor.

  “Wait, I still don’t see how this would change the way he feels about me. Does he love that child more than me?”

  Mom’s gaze stayed pinned to the
floor. “You do not have a brother or a sister.” Lightning flashed.

  “I don’t understand. Did the woman lose the baby? Or did she abort?”

  “No.” Mom got up and walked toward Cora. She placed her hands on Cora’s forearms. “You are that baby. You are your father’s child by this other woman.” Tears poured from Mom’s eyes.

  Cora pulled away from Mom. Tears streamed down her own face. She was the result of an affair? She faced Mom again. “No! This cannot be true. How can this be? You’re not my mother?” She shook her head violently.

  “I am. I raised you.”

  “What about my birth mother? Where is she?” Cora sobbed.

  “She died giving birth to you. They were only able to save you.” Mom closed the space between herself and Cora and reached her arms around her.

  “Don’t.” Cora yanked away from her. “Why didn’t you ever tell me this? All my life I’ve known you didn’t love me like you should. I’ve always felt there was something holding us apart. I tricked myself into thinking it was Dad. But it was you. Why didn’t you tell me so I’d have understood why you despised me?”

  “I couldn’t. I don’t. I wanted to. I—I knew it would devastate you. As it has. Your father didn’t want you to know. Not ever. He’d always been extra hard on you because he wanted me to love you. He thought if you were the best at everything, I’d forget about his immorality.” Mom collapsed on the couch.

  Memories of piano and dance recitals, modeling shoots, and pageants flooded Cora’s mind. “I have to get out of here. I need some air.” Cora stormed from the room.

  “It’s raining. You don’t need to be out in this weather.”

  Cora ran to her room and grabbed her purse. When she sprinted back through the living room, Dad stood by the window and turned to face her. She paused only a moment, staring at the man who’d betrayed her all of her life. Then she hurried from the house, slamming the door.

  “Cora!” Dad yelled.

  * * *

  Three hours later, Cora pulled Dad’s spare car into the driveway. His new car wasn’t there, but an unfamiliar truck was parked behind Mom’s Lexus. As her headlights shined in the dark through the fog, they revealed the tag on the back of the truck—a rented vehicle. She was in no mood to even greet someone, much less entertain. Cora flipped the visor down and opened the mirror to check her face. She frowned at her reflection. The dark circles were back.

  Cora sat in the car for a minute, holding the keys in her hand. What should she say when she entered the house? So many emotions raged through her mind. She could no longer stay here in this house. But where would she go?

  Cora climbed from the car and ran to the front door through the stinging rain. The cold and foggy dampness chilled her to her core. She needed a cup of hot cocoa.

  She put the key in the lock and turned the doorknob, unlocking the uncertainty of her future. When she entered the foyer, she took off her raincoat and hung it on the hall tree. No one greeted her at the door. She looked back out at the truck in the drive and called, “Where is everyone?”

  Cora shut the door and proceeded down the hall toward her room. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone standing in the living room. The hair on her arm bristled.

  When she turned, a man—a tall, dark man—came into her line of vision. The lights were off in the room, the only light coming from the hall. She couldn’t quite make out the identity of this person, but something about him was familiar. Rex?

  She paused, squinting. This must be a guest of her Dad’s. “Hello?”

  Chapter 14

  “Hello, Cora.”

  Cora’s breath caught at the medicinal sound of the voice. “Rex? What are you doing here?” She stepped into the living room, moving closer.

  “I came to see you to tell you I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat.

  “Oh.” Her knees weakened.

  “I’m sorry, Cora, for being so rude. For hurtin’ you.”

  “That’s okay. I’m sorry for the things I said too.” Her emotions were reeling. “How did you get here?”

  “I flew and rented a truck.”

  “That explains the truck outside.” She motioned outside. “How did you get in? How long have you been here? Have you been waiting for me?”

  “Your parents let me in. And, according to them, I arrived about fifteen minutes after you left.”

  “Rex, I’ve been gone for hours. You waited?” Her mind spun like a merry-go-round.

  “Yeah.”

  “Where are they?” She stepped closer, tilting her head.

  “They went out to dinner. They said you might not want to see them when you returned—that you might want to be alone with me.” Rex held his Stetson in one hand and rubbed the rim of it with the fingers of his other hand.

  Cora walked over to turn on the lamp on the table next to where Rex stood. When she turned around, his appearance caught her off guard. Her throat went dry like she’d eaten a bag of pretzels with nothing to drink.

  Rex stood there in black jeans, a button-down shirt, with a big belt buckle shining in the dim light and his dress cowboy boots. It wasn’t what he wore, however, that thunderstruck Cora the most. He'd shaved his beard, leaving only his thick mustache to line his upper lip. His fresh haircut kept his unruly curls and waves neatly in place.

  Cora felt herself melting at the first sight of him. He was so handsome. He had a strong square jaw and chiseled cheekbones. Did the personality fit the looks, or was it the other way around?

  Cora’s eyes finally shifted to Rex’s dark eyes…eyes as dark as they had always been, but soft and caring at this moment. She gazed into them, mesmerized by his tenderness. Did she ever have to look away?

  In the dimly lit room, Rex moved toward her. “Are you okay?” He delicately stroked her shoulder.

  Goosebumps ran down her spine. “I suppose. I’m in shock over you being here and over the way you look. I can’t believe you shaved.”

  “I wanted to look nice for you.” He smiled, revealing a dimple on his left cheek.

  “Well, you do.” Cora felt her face redden at her boldness.

  Rex smirked a bit. “Thank you.” Then somberly he said, “Let’s sit down.” He led Cora to the camelback sofa. “They told me what happened. I’m sorry. You’ve had one thing after another.”

  Rex's eyes held the same compassion of the night she’d found out about Clark’s death. She burst into tears. Rex wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly. Cora allowed him to hold her and cried without reservation. This man was so big and strong, yet soft and gentle at the same time. He smelled of musk, which put Cora’s senses into a frenzy of frustration. Would the Lord let this man be the one for her? He made her feel so safe.

  Rex slowly released Cora but didn't let her move too far away. “Do you want to talk?”

  “I don’t know if I can, but I’ll try. I want to.” She sighed. “I’m so hurt, so betrayed. How can a woman raise another woman’s child and not tell her? I'd have been better off if I’d been given away at birth. I never felt like my mother loved me fully. I always knew there was something keeping us from having a close relationship. I finally grew to believe the type of relationship we had was normal for a mother and daughter. My father always seemed unhappy with me. Supposedly, he wanted me to be perfect so his wife would love me more. The years of dance and beauty pageants and ice-skating…all to please her for him. I finally learned through caring for Susie that there was much more to being a mom than mine had been.”

  Rex was listening intently to her without looking away. At last he spoke. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Cora. You’ve been through so much. What can I do for you? How can I help?”

  “You’ve helped more than you know already.”

  “Good.” He smiled, the dimple popping out again.

  “But you can do one thing for me.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Never let Susie feel like she doesn’t measure up.”

  “I will d
o all I can.” He nodded.

  “Thank you. And thanks for being here.”

  “I’m glad I came.”

  “That reminds me, why are you here, really? I mean, I wouldn’t think you’d come all this way just to say you’re sorry. Is everything okay at the ranch?” Cora shifted sideways to face Rex. She brushed her hair out of her eyes and patted her nose and wiped her eyes.

  “Yes, everything’s okay at home. Except for the fact you’re not there. The place hasn’t been the same since you left. I came because I want you to come back with me.”

  “You do?” Cora’s heart beat so fast and loudly, she could barely hear herself think.

  “Yep. I had a talk with Mom, thinkin’ she’d help me forget about you. Instead, she helped me see how blind I was being.” He chuckled. “Actually, she told me I was a fool.”

  “What do you mean, Rex?” Cora squirmed.

  “I’m full of pride...and I'm stubborn.”

  “No! I’d never have known if you hadn’t told me.” Cora slapped Rex on the arm and laughed.

  “Come on, now. Be nice to me. It’s hard for me to open up.” He gave her a sad puppy dog look. “Anyway, it took me so long to warm up to you because of Patty. I knew instantly there was something different about you. And when you came to the ranch, I really liked the way you and Susie were together. But I wasn’t lookin’ for a replacement for Patty as my wife or as Susie’s mother. I started havin’ feelings for you, and I didn’t want to. I didn’t know how to act. You were such a good person, and I had changed so much. Her death made me bitter. I knew you'd never accept me because I'd become so…I don’t know...” He grunted and rubbed his hands together.

  Cora smiled at Rex because his words were right but said nothing.

  He continued, “Then we got closer, and I liked that. But when you found out about the money and said you needed to go home for a while, I felt rejected. I knew if I let myself care for you, I’d get hurt again. Then I realized I already did care for you. It would hurt worse to lose you than it did to lose Patty, because you’d still be alive somewhere out there away from me. I could never adapt knowin’ you were here in Florida goin’ on with your life or even somewhere in Georgia or South Carolina, when we could have a life together…I mean, try to have a life together.” Rex gazed at Cora.