Love Again, Love for Them: A Novel

by Lee, R. A.

  “Did you really want to be caught off guard?” he asked.

  Thinking about it, Brooke shook her head and Jake sent her to get ready.

  “We have reservations in two hours,” he called.

  When she left, Jake pulled some papers from his briefcase and headed into the living room to work.

  An hour later, with Jake urging her to hurry up or they would be late, Brooke finally came down the stairs. Jake watched in admiration.

  “How do I look?” she asked as she walked down the stairs.

  “Lovely,” he said and kissed her on the forehead.

  “I’ll take that,” she shrugged.

  “What does that mean?” he laughed. Brooke lowered her eyes and then sighed.

  “Never mind,” she said and Jake didn’t pry. He knew Brooke would always feel just a bit self-conscious about being compared to Jenny in Jake’s eyes even though he vowed she was no longer a threat to their marriage.

  Taking Brooke to the most incredibly elegant restaurant within a five-mile radius of their home, Jake made sure the soufflé was ordered before they sat down.

  Gazing into each other’s eyes, they reminisced about the night they met.

  “What did you first think when you saw me?” he asked as they drank wine and picked at their elegant meal.

  He knew that she knew there would be a soufflé or two involved. Sometimes just dessert was all that was necessary.

  “The first thing I noticed were your intense green eyes,” she said, remembering that night.

  “What did you remember?” she asked.

  “I remember you taking down that man,” he said. Holding her hand, Jake fingered the gold ring he had placed on her finger at their city hall wedding.

  “Then when you sat with me at the bar and confided everything to me,” he said softly, “a part of me knew my life would never be the same.”

  What was the look in her eyes? Jake couldn’t tell what she felt about his confession.

  “You have no idea how stunned and glad I was to see you at city hall,” she confided. “When I saw you, for some reason it felt like I wasn’t marrying a stranger.”

  That revelation nearly caused him to gasp.

  A part of Brooke had been in their marriage from the start. He hadn’t gone into the arrangement alone, as he had thought.

  “Isn’t it sad that we can’t say it was love?” she asked quietly as they caressed each other’s fingertips.

  “Does it really matter now?” he asked.

  “I’m really glad it was you,” she said.

  “Me too,” he said and she smiled. The waiter arrived and they parted while he took their plates. Moments later, a soufflé arrived.

  Brooke offered him a spoon, but he slid the soufflé closer to her side, watching as she ate the dessert. Brooke contained herself from having a chocolate orgasm in public. Just watching her was dessert enough for Jake.

  Later on he would have some dessert of his own, and she wouldn’t be the only one enjoying an orgasmic pleasure.

  When she was done, Jake pulled out her gift. It was a long box.

  Amazed, Brooke carefully examined the velvet-encased box.

  Opening it carefully, he saw the sparkle in her eyes as she held up the diamond necklace. Quickly removing the necklace she was wearing, Brooke deftly maneuvered the clasp of the new one and was modeling it for Jake.

  “It’s beautiful,” she whispered, still looking at the elegant and sophisticated necklace.

  “I thought of you when I saw it,” he said. When he motioned for the check, the waiter arrived and when he got back with Jake’s card and receipt, the waiter placed a white to-go box in front of Brooke.

  “Should I open it?” she asked, looking at the box curiously.

  “Not unless you want it to get cold,” he insisted and Brooke contained her glee, barely.

  There was no way it was a one-soufflé night.

  Driving home in silence, Brooke held the warm box on her lap.

  When they arrived home, Brooke was going to open it when Jake said he had another gift for her in the living room.

  Deciding the gift in the living room was important to Jake, Brooke said “good-bye” to the soufflé.

  “I’ll be back,” she told the box and followed Jake to the living room. Flicking on the fireplace, Jake had Brooke sit on the couch. Jake was starting to get nervous and Brooke noticed.

  “You’re making me nervous, Jake,” she said and he saw her swallow hard.

  Fumbling with his briefcase on the coffee table, Jake gave his speech.

  “There’s a reason I remembered our anniversary,” he said and then loosened his tie. He was getting very hot.

  Brooke looked at him very intensely.

  “I was having lunch with the lawyer who handled our pre nup,” he said and Brooke’s eyes got very wide.

  “You want me to sign another pre nup?” she said, starting to get angry. “Is this what this is about?” she asked, grabbing her necklace.

  She suddenly looked very sad.

  “You never let me finish,” he said. “You always expect the worst.”

  Brooke calmed down, but she was tense.

  Jake pulled out a manila envelope.

  “Open it,” he said, handing it to her.

  Pulling out the legal papers inside, Brooke gasped.

  “The lawyer said we should consider revising it,” he said. Jake sat carefully next to Brooke as they looked over the documents they had signed almost three years earlier. Jake couldn’t even remember that time anymore. It seemed so ridiculous now.

  There was a clause for taking care of her son and her mother in the event they decided to part ways after a year.

  Brooke was to present herself as his wife to his mother and act accordingly. She was to be a companion for his mother.

  If either decided to dissolve the arrangement within one year, Brooke would leave with nothing.

  Jake could have dissolved the relationship if Brooke did not uphold her end of the arrangement in presenting herself as a dutiful wife in his mother’s eyes, and companion to her mother-in-law.

  Brooke pointed to the last clause.

  “After I threw all your mother’s photos in the backyard, I thought that was it,” she confessed. “You had every right to tear this up.”

  “The fact that you didn’t back down was the only reason I didn’t,” he confessed. “At first I was going to dissolve our agreement, but my mother pressed me to reconsider. She really liked you for standing up to her, for standing up to me.”

  Brooke laughed and wiped away a tear.

  Putting the paper on her lap, Brooke looked up at Jake with resolve.

  “What changes do you want to make?” she asked.

  Jake was still amazed that she always thought the worst when he presented her with changes to their relationship. She was always on alert, ready to get up and start a new life. He needed to change that, to make their relationship as permanent as he could.

  Jake leaned over and took a small box from the pocket of his briefcase.

  Nervously slipping to one knee, Jake opened the box and Brooke was frozen.

  “Brooke, will you be my wife, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health?”

  Brooke didn’t say anything.

  “You’re still thinking about the pre nup, aren’t you,” he asked and she nodded. Jake sighed. She still didn’t understand.

  Jake stood and closed the box. Taking the pre nup, he pulled Brooke up and they stood in front of the fire.

  “Toss it,” he said. She looked at him puzzled. Looking at the papers, Brooke took a deep breath and threw the agreement in the fire. They watched as the fire devoured the last wedge in their marriage.

  “I should have had you do that first,” he confessed.

  Looking at Brooke, he saw tears streaming down her cheeks.

  “Did you think I was going to have you sign another pre nup?” he asked, wiping away her tears. “It w
as pretty much null and void after the first year. I just wanted it to be symbolic.”

  “That’s not it,” she said sniffling. Sighing, she held his hands pressed against her cheeks.

  “It was very symbolic,” she agreed, looking at him with sad eyes.

  “That represented the severing of my ties to my first marriage,” she confessed, and Jake realized the burning of the arrangement was more symbolic than a proposal.

  “I am married to you now, Jake, no strings attached,” she said. “I am your wife. Do you understand the symbolism? I was holding on to my first marriage so tightly. As long as we had that agreement, I could still feel I wasn’t betraying my first vows, the vows I meant.”

  Jake realized her words were stronger than any vows he made to her.

  “I was supposed to be married to Matthew forever,” she cried and fell to her knees.

  Never in his wildest imagination did he realize she would react this way to his gesture. He knew she kept him at a distance, he just didn’t know how far.

  “Now I’m not anymore,” she cried into her hands as she wiped away the tears. “He’s never coming back. I have to learn to love again, Jake. Learn to love you like you need to be loved. But I don’t have it all to give anymore.”

  Pulling at his pants, Brooke wanted him to join her.

  Kneeling, Jake wasn’t sure where she was going with her confession.

  Holding his hands, she sighed and there were no more tears. Face flush and streaked with the trails of her tears, Brooke made a proposal of her own.

  “I will love you with whatever I’ve got left,” she proposed. “I cannot promise anymore.”

  Jake understood.

  “I accept that, Brooke,” he said. “You know Jenny will always be on my mind. I promise you that with everything I have I will love you. I cannot promise any more.”

  Brooke sniffed and smiled.

  Kissing to close the deal, Brooke wanted to see the ring.

  “Can we turn this off now,” she said as Jake picked up the box.

  “Thank you,” he agreed and flicked the switch. The blazing fire died as suddenly as it had blazed up.

  Jake presented the ring again.

  Taking it carefully, she examined the ring.

  “I bet I could retire on this if we ever left each other,” she joked and put it on her finger.

  “Were you ever an optimist?” he asked.

  Looking up at him, she laughed.

  “Never,” she said, kissing him. “Just because I was with the love of my life didn’t make me an optimist. He had to drag me into marriage,” she said and suddenly trailed off.

  Jake didn’t want her to remember and accepted her answer.

  “That’s very helpful,” he said and pulled her up with a groan. “I think your dessert is getting cold.”

  Excited, Brooke pulled him to the kitchen. Opening the box like it was more precious than the ring he had just given her, Brooke lifted the soufflé out and placed it on the counter.

  Getting two spoons from the drawer, she offered to share with Jake.

  As she moaned at every bite, Jake couldn’t take it anymore. Picking her up from where they stood, Jake dragged her away from the soufflé while she protested and laughed at the same time.

  Throwing her on the bed, she still had the spoon with her. Putting it in her mouth, she sucked off the imaginary chocolate and leaned back seductively.

  “You’re so easy,” she said, kicking off her heels.

  “Were you teasing me?” he said, climbing onto the bed with her and caressing the body beneath her satin dress.

  “I have a present for you,” she said, tapping his forehead with the spoon.

  “Yeah,” he said, kissing her shoulder.

  “Your choice,” she said and he looked at her puzzled. “Lights on or off.”

  Jake moaned and kissed her as she laughed.

  “Just remember I look better in dim light,” she insisted.

  Jake held her head in his hands and disagreed.

  “You look beautiful when we’re making love,” he whispered and he heard her gasp. Kissing her passionately, Jake lowered her to the bed and felt the ring on her finger over her wedding band.

  Jake gave Brooke all the love he had to give.

  Chapter 41

  It was a beautiful day for a wedding.

  Sitting on a folding chair on the beach with a hundred other guests, Jake only had his eyes on Brooke, her blue bridesmaids gown whipping in the ocean breeze, her hairpiece struggling to free itself from her hair she had to keep wiping away from her face.

  Jake guessed the ocean wedding seemed romantic in theory, but watching Brooke try to be an observant member of the wedding party, while fighting the elements, was only amusing. The wedding video would be a must-view at a later date.

  The ceremony wasn’t very long, but Jake realized it was ceremonious compared to the five minutes it took for his and Brooke’s ceremony.

  Thinking about their own vows, Jake forgot what they said to one another. The wedding picture Melinda had taken and given them summed it up. They had both felt stunned that day.

  As Melinda and Dave stood at the makeshift alter under a tangle of flowers that struggled against the wind, they looked happy. They did not look stunned.

  As the minister announced them husband and wife, the couple kissed and everyone applauded as they headed down the sandy aisle as newlyweds. Jake caught Brooke watching him.

  Did he see sadness in her face? Was she thinking about their wedding or her first to the man she loved? As she passed, she smiled at Jake, but he sensed some sort of sorrow or regret. He didn’t know which.

  Grateful the reception was in a banquet hall and not on the windy beach, Jake waited until all the toasts had been made, the cake was cut and wedding party pictures were taken before Brooke could join him at the table. Jake wasn’t lonely, he just wanted to be with Brooke.

  Taking off her headband, Brooke sat next to Jake and begged for a hug.

  “That was so tiring,” she whined. Holding her close, Jake wanted to ask what she was thinking, but it might depress her, so he just held her.

  “Let’s take a walk,” she said, taking him by the hand. “I need some air.”

  Passing through the crowd, and the couple on the dance floor surrounded by family and friends, Brooke led him to the beach and took off her heels.

  “Finally!” she exclaimed as she threw them at the incoming waves.

  “Aren’t you going to need those later?” he asked, watching the waves grab and pull the shoes from the shore.

  “I couldn’t get back into those if I tried,” she explained.

  Taking off his shoes and socks, Jake placed them on the deck.

  Holding his arm, they walked down the beach, watching the sun slowly make its way to the horizon.

  Resting her head against his arm, Jake knew she was thinking, but never knew what.

  “It was beautiful, wasn’t it?” Brooke asked wistfully.

  “Better than a five minute ceremony at city hall?” he joked, hoping she’d reveal what was making her distant again.

  “I barely remember if there was any ceremony, it was over before I realized we had agreed to marry,” she said. “Just like that. Married.”

  Jake had nothing to add. That’s exactly what it was like.

  “Don’t you regret it, Jake,” she asked and he wasn’t sure what she meant.

  Brooke looked up at him and stopped. Jake looked into her eyes and wondered what he was supposed to regret.

  “My first wedding was a beautiful, wonderful affair like this one,” she said and Jake cringed. She had been thinking about her first wedding. “Do you regret you got married to some woman you didn’t know at city hall? That you didn’t have what Melinda and Dave had?”

  A strand of her brown hair flew in her eyes and Jake pushed it away to see them. Caressing her cheek, he realized she had felt remorse for him, not for her.

  “Brooke, I would neve
r have gotten married,” he explained. “The only thing I knew is that if I were to get married, it would be to someone like you.”

  A million emotions flittered in her eyes.

  “Someone like me?” she asked.

  Waves crashed and Jake realized his statement did not reflect his intention.

  “I can’t explain,” he said, turning away.

  Without saying a word, Brooke walked ahead and Jake didn’t follow.

  Turning, Brooke looked confused and Jake saw that tears threatened to spill over, but Brooke swallowed and took a deep breath.

  “I used to be the most special person in the world to someone,” she stated, holding onto her dignity. Jake winced. She was special to him, he just didn’t know how to put it in words even he would understand.

  “There was no other woman above me,” she said, fighting for her words. “Someone like me,” she whispered and covered a gasp that had escaped. Turning, she walked off quickly into the setting sun.

  Waves crashed and their cold grasp rose over his feet and pulled back.

  Lowering his head, Jake knew she needed time to herself. He needed time to make better sense of his devastating confession.

  On the sand, Jake saw something that caught his eye. It was a perfect blue shell. Leaning down, he picked it up. Turning the cold, wet shell in his hand, he remembered the story Brooke told him about the day Matthew gave her a rock.

  What had he ever given her that meant anything? A diamond necklace? A wedding ring probably worth more than Matthew’s annual salary? What did she cherish? An ugly hairy troll and a rock.

  Someone like you?

  With those three words he had stripped her of everything she held dear. It wasn’t what he meant. The wedding had impacted her more than either one of them realized.

  Placing the shell in his pants pocket, Jake headed back to the reception. Tightness gripped his throat.

  Will I have the opportunity to explain? he asked himself while wiping the sand off his feet and putting on his socks and shoes.

  Waiting on the deck, Jake decided he needed to give her time. A part of her must be angry about the wedding. It was supposed to be the beginning of her lifetime. Instead she had to put that to rest and get married in a five-minute city hall wedding.