Love Again, Love for Them: A Novel

by Lee, R. A.

  Someone like you.

  There was no way he could explain.

  Standing, Jake looked down the beach where she walked off into the sunset. The orange glow settled on the horizon and Jake could not make out her shape on the beach.

  Sighing, Jake went back to his table.

  Drinking wine and just thinking, Jake thought about his wedding.

  He had gone to that hotel on Melinda’s suggestion. There was no assurance Jenny would return. His mother kept nagging him to find a proper woman and settle down. That is what Jake did.

  Curiosity got the best of him when Melinda called to tell him about Brooke’s situation. Up until he got off the elevator, Jake wasn’t sure what he was thinking. Spite had urged him out of the elevator. His lover had chosen a title over his love. Spite got him to the lounge, but it was Brooke’s desire to hold on to her dignity in the face of someone taking advantage of her situation that made Jake realize she was what he was looking for.

  Even though he reprimanded Brooke for how she treated his mother, that is what Jake had needed. He wanted a companion, someone to make his mother believe she had a daughter-in-law and grandchild. What Jake needed was someone who could mend his relationship with his mother.

  Jake had wanted a wife in appearance only, but what he needed was someone to show him that being a husband and father wasn’t boring, it wasn’t settling. It was about building a meaningful life together. Jake needed someone to show him that, but he didn’t know it at the time.

  When Brooke confided in him that night, he knew she was that person.

  As scared as Brooke was in making her decision to marry a man for security, Jake was only nervous like the first time he went hang gliding. He just had to get up off the ground. Once in flight, there were no guarantees, but at least he had made the leap.

  Someone like you.

  Jake would have married Jenny, but that wasn’t something he planned on. He would have been content just to be with her.

  At the time Jake didn’t know it, but he knew deep down he wanted more. He needed more than just good times and great sex. Brooke showed him that settling down wasn’t boring, it was just a different journey. It wasn’t as exciting as life with Jenny, but it wasn’t boring.

  Melinda saw Jake alone, and pulled him up from his chair.

  “Dance with me,” she said and Jake followed her. It was her day.

  Looking into his eyes as they swayed back and forth, Melinda asked what had happened.

  “I said something stupid,” he admitted.

  “Doesn’t that happen all the time?” she joked and Jake smiled, but it faltered and she asked again.

  “What was it about?” she asked softly above the music and the voices of the other guests.

  “I was trying to explain why she was the only one who could get me to the altar,” he said. “That sounded much better than what I said.”

  “What did you say?” she asked.

  “I said something about someone like you,” he confessed and she looked frightened for him.

  “I’m sure you meant well,” Melinda said, not concerned, and Jake relaxed. “She will think about it and when she’s ready she’ll come back.” Melinda looked over his shoulder.

  “There she is now,” Melinda said and wished him luck as she went to find her husband.

  Turning, Jake looked past the other guests and saw that Brooke was staring at him, angry and remorseful all at once.

  Walking through the crowd, Jake approached carefully because he thought she would walk away again. Keeping eye contact, even when she wanted to look away, Jake put his hands in his pocket.

  Cold and hard, the shell was all he had to offer.

  Presenting it to her as he got closer, Jake waited for Brooke to take it from him, but Brooke just looked at it then at him as she pulled her sweater tighter over her chest.

  “I wanted you to have this,” he said. Brooke didn’t accept his offer.

  “I wanted you to have this to remember this day,” he said, still holding it out to her. “I wanted you to remember this,” he said, but his throat was tightening and he had to struggle for his words, “if anything happens to me, I just want to know someone is going to care enough to remember me. I didn’t know I needed that, Brooke. I didn’t know it was important. I knew that if anyone could teach me that it was you. That’s all I meant.”

  Tears fell and he just wanted her to take the shell, he needed some air. She didn’t take the shell. Through his tears, he saw her unloosen her clutch around her chest and wrap herself around him.

  “That sounds so much better,” she said and he could feel her starting to shake. Holding her tight, they cried in each other’s arms. Jake never knew he could feel this way. It was what he needed.

  Releasing her, Jake placed the shell in her hand and Brooke squeezed it tight.

  “I’ll never forget,” she promised and he knew she never would. Taking her hand, he pulled her onto the dance floor.

  It was as close as they would get to a first dance.

  Chapter 42

  Since the agreement was no longer between them, Jake brought up the idea of him adopting MJ. He thought it was a natural phase in their marriage.

  Brooke stood in the kitchen and looked at him terrified.

  Quickly wiping her hands, she passed by him and headed to her old room. Jake found her sitting on the edge of the bed.

  “What did I do now?” he asked. He never knew how she was going to react.

  “Sit,” she commanded. Jake sighed and sat next to her. It was hard enough to bring up the subject, but he thought it was something she might have wanted.

  The first time MJ called him daddy, Brooke was startled and angry, but MJ had been calling him daddy, now dad, for years and he thought he would make it official.

  “That’s very sweet of you, Jake,” she said, patting him on the thigh. “When you have your own child you’ll understand,” she said, consoling him with her eyes. “You weren’t there when I got pregnant, you don’t know how happy Matthew was when he found out I was pregnant and we were going to have a son. I love the fact that you want to make MJ your own, but he’s not. I can’t let that last connection to his father to be severed. I know he’s confused that he doesn’t share our name, but I owe it to Matthew. You won’t understand until you have a child of our own.”

  Jake nodded.

  Brooke stood and walked out of the room.

  “I have some more family photos to hang,” she declared as she went back to the kitchen.

  Nodding, Jake followed her to the kitchen.

  Making dinner, Brooke had given Jake the job of hanging the photos, so Jake hung up more photos. The hallway wall was almost full. There was his first Christmas with MJ under the tree and the family at the care center, MJ and Jake at the first birthday party, in the middle their wedding photo, and, at the other end, Brooke’s happy family photo. Going through the new photos in frames to decide how to hang them, Jake was stopped by one in particular. It was a framed photo of him and Jenny.

  Looking to the kitchen door, Jake wondered if she meant for it to be among the family photos. Putting it to the side, Jake hung the other photos and had Brooke look at his work.

  “Very good,” she said then noticed something missing. “Where’s that photo of you and Jenny?”

  It wasn’t a mistake.

  “Why would you put that on our family photo wall,” he asked incredulously.

  Brooke pointed to her happy family photo.

  “I put mine up,” she explained. “For better or worse, she’s just as much a part of our life. Without Matthew I wouldn’t have found you, and without Jenny we wouldn’t be together.”

  “That’s incredibly pessimistic of you,” he declared and Jake went to place it at the end next to the happy family photo.

  “No,” she said, pushing it away. “That should always be at the end.” Jake put the photo on the other side of her happy family photo.

  “There, are you happy?
” he asked, looking at the photo of him and Jenny with a guilty conscience.

  “Works for me,” she said.

  They walked back to the kitchen.

  “I’ve got to get back to the city,” he said and she moaned.

  “How long this time?” she whined.

  “Just a week,” he said. “Were finishing negotiations with an international company.”

  “When?” she asked.

  “Tomorrow,” he said.

  “Then we have tonight,” she said and kissed him. Running in, MJ saw them and said, “Yuck.”

  “I’m hungry,” he declared and they parted.

  “Go get cleaned up,” she commanded and MJ dropped his book bag by his desk.

  Hours later, in bed, Jake asked Brooke a serious question.

  “Do you really want to have more kids,” he asked. Brooke got tense then relaxed. She was getting better at not always anticipating the worst.

  “Why?” she asked, waiting for him to explain.

  “I’m just wondering if you’re opposed to it,” he shrugged. Brooke propped herself on her elbow and looked down at him quizzically.

  “Do you not want to have kids?” she asked him. “Do you want to have kids?”

  “I asked you first,” he said, but he knew he wasn’t going to win. Jake sighed.

  “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but yes,” he confessed.

  Brooke looked into his eyes and sighed.

  “What happened to the bachelor who always patted MJ on the head like he was a dog?” she joked and lay back down staring at the ceiling.

  Then she answered.

  “Someday,” she said.

  Jake did not press her. That was all she could give him. Curled in his arms, Brooke was silent and Jake felt a familiar distance once again. He knew a child would seal them forever and he knew that terrified her on some level.

  It was another betrayal, but he knew, with enough prompting, she would confront her issues and they would have a child born of their love.

  The next day, Jake kissed Brooke and promised to be back soon. He shouldn’t have used those words because he saw the concern on her face. She had been promised that before.

  The moment he got into work, Jake was busy and soon realized he should call Brooke to tell her he was thinking about her.

  When MJ answered the phone, Jake barely had the opportunity to say anything before MJ said his mother wasn’t feeling well.

  Jake put down his pen.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked, wishing he were there.

  “Says it’s the flu,” he replied and Jake’s mother asked for the phone.

  Calling out, “bye, dad,” MJ was gone and Jake’s mother took the phone. Jake hoped she had more information.

  “You might want to come home dear,” she asserted, commanded and demanded. “I think it might be serious.”

  “Does she need to go to the hospital?” he asked, rising from his desk and grabbing his jacket. “I can meet you there.”

  “Come home now,” she said and hung up the phone.

  Jake’s co-worker wanted to discuss the contract, but Jake said he had a family emergency, waited impatiently for the elevator, and raced home without caring about the speed traps.

  Running into the house, Jake called out for Brooke and heard someone call him to her old room. As Jake entered, Brooke stepped out of the bathroom.

  He knew what she was holding in her hand.

  It had the power to determine the rest of their life together.

  Chapter 43

  Brooke was full of new inspiration, and started painting again. Her theme was rebirth and while Jake was away, she spent all her free time putting her inspiration on canvas.

  The day after Jake left, she started feeling unwell. She didn’t know what it was, but she couldn’t stomach anything.

  When she vomited one morning, her mother-in-law came in unannounced and Brooke didn’t mention it. Ever since they told her mother-in-law that they were officially married, she had been pushing Brooke to have a baby.

  Ashamed, Brooke didn’t tell anyone she was still on birth control. Ever since she started having sexual relations with Jake, she had gone out and gotten a new order of birth control.

  She knew he wanted a family with her, but she just felt it was too much too soon. She was just adjusting to her new life with her new husband. She was still young enough to wait at least a few years.

  The next morning, though, her mother-in-law found out from MJ. He had heard Brooke in the bathroom vomiting on his way to school and mentioned it to his grandmother. Brooke wasn’t angry, but she knew what his mother would say.

  After the third day, Brooke knew it was something more than the stomach flu. Making an appointment with her doctor, she lay in bed wanting to get back to her project.

  “You feeling better, mom?” MJ asked concerned, but she just consoled him.

  “It’s just a flu,” she told him again and looked into the eyes that reminded her of Matthew every day. It was so hard getting over a man who no longer lived when he lived in his son. He was a constant reminder of their love, hope for the future, and life together.

  “I made you a sandwich, MJ,” his grandmother said and Brooke groaned. Food awaited MJ and he ran to the kitchen.

  “What do you say?” Brooke called after MJ.

  “Thank you, grandma,” he said without emotion from the hallway and ran to the kitchen.

  From behind her back, Brooke’s mother-in-law presented her with a bag. Brooke knew what it was.

  “Thanks,” she said, not opening the bag. “I’ll look at it later.”

  Her mother-in-law was not leaving until Brooke looked at the contents of the bag.

  “I know what it is,” she said. “It’s just the flu, so don’t get too excited.”

  “How do you know for sure?” she asked cheerfully and Brooke contained her embarrassment.

  “You’re right,” she agreed just to send her mother-in-law away. “I should make sure.”

  When Brooke didn’t make a move, her mother-in-law insisted that she check right away.

  “You’re going to be disappointed,” Brooke warned her as she grabbed the bag from her mother-in-law.

  Closing the bathroom door, she saw her mother-in-law bowing her head and clasping her hands in prayer.

  At least someone is happy, she said to herself.

  The last time she took the test, it had seemed to take forever for the results. She didn’t believe those results, even after the doctor confirmed her pregnancy with another test.

  The moment she put the stick under her urine stream this time, the results showed up in no time at all. By the time she recapped the test, she had the result.

  She was pregnant.

  What the heck did I spend all that time and money on birth control for?

  Staring in the mirror, Brooke looked at herself. She was not ready for this step yet.

  She wanted to lie, tell his mother it wasn’t any of her business, but this was bigger than just her.

  She should have never taken the test with others present. It should have been between her and Jake first.

  His mother knocked on the door.

  “It didn’t work right,” she lied.

  Suddenly, she heard Jake’s voice. He wasn’t supposed to be home for a few more days.

  My mother-in-law.

  The moment she had heard Brooke was vomiting, she probably told Jake. If MJ didn’t love his grandmother so much, Brooke would have insisted they move away. The house could be her mother-in-law’s again.

  Stick still in hand, Brooke opened the door to meet Jake. Unable to meet his eyes, she just stood there with the stick in her hand.

  Stunned. They both stood stunned as Jake walked in and Brooke stood by the bathroom door holding the test. His mother was more excited than they were.

  “Let me help you,” she said, taking the stick from Brooke. “I’ve waited forever for this.”

  Adjusting her s
ight, her mother-in-law’s lips quivered. A tear fell down her wrinkled cheek, and she looked up at Jake before stumbling back to the bed just staring at the stick.

  Covering her mouth with the other hand, Brooke’s mother-in-law just continued staring at the stick.

  “What is it?” MJ pleaded, trying to grab the stick. His grandmother held it away.

  “You’re going to have a new baby brother or sister,” Jake’s mother choked and MJ looked at Brooke puzzled.

  Brooke nodded and lowered her head.

  “Yeah,” MJ cheered triumphantly and went flying like an airplane throughout the house. Jake sat next to his mother as MJ came back and hugged him. Jake hugged MJ and looked at Brooke with pleading eyes.

  Brooke wanted to go back in the bathroom, close the door and rewind the day.

  This was not the plan. She was not ready to have another man’s child again. It was the final crossover. This would be the event that affirmed their life together. There would be no holding onto the knowledge that if she stayed just far enough away from this point, she was still faithful to her love to Matthew.

  “I hope it’s a brother, dad,” MJ rambled on. “But a sister would be alright,” he said, making a funny face.

  Jake was looking to her. Her reaction determined his reaction.

  A glint of gold caught her eye and she felt her throat close. The ring she had placed for safekeeping in the plant was almost buried beneath the dirt. The ring she was supposed to wear for the rest of her life almost finding a resting place in the soil.

  She remembered her mother’s last words.

  Love again. Love for them.

  Brooke hadn’t understood the full impact of her request until that moment. Being an inactive member of the family was no longer tolerable. She was all the way committed or not.

  This was the time to love again or leave.

  She was filled with anger that it was another man who had given her this new life. It should have been Matthew and their second child. That was the plan. They would grow old together.

  But her plans were never under her control. When they were, they didn’t work out well.

  Jake’s eyes begged her to make a decision.