Unlocking the Rebel's Heart

by Alison Roberts

  ‘Great haemorrhage control,’ she told him. ‘That’s a deep laceration and it’s not even oozing now.’

  ‘You going to suture it?’

  ‘That’ll depend on the X-rays. If surgery’s needed, there’s no point. We can just get another clean dressing on and make sure it’s splinted well enough for transport.’ She offered Ben a bit of a smile. ‘I’ll rely on your expertise for that.’

  The quirk of Ben’s eyebrow suggested that her attempt to defuse that hint of background tension between them had failed. Maybe a direct appeal would work better.

  ‘Can you stay to help with the X-rays?’

  There was no hesitation on Ben’s part. If anything, JJ could see a flash of concern in his expression. ‘Are you and Debbie on your own at the moment?’

  ‘Yes... I persuaded Don to go with Zac to Dunedin to see Liv and the baby. I assured them both I’d be able to cope with anything.’

  ‘Ah...so that’s why you didn’t respond to the message about this accident?’

  JJ blinked. ‘I thought it was just alerting me to an incoming patient. Was I expected to turn up at the scene?’

  ‘Zac always does, if he’s not in the middle of something here. Doc Donaldson, too. Especially if I’m not on duty or it’s a priority one callout where there’s the possibility of critical injuries or illness.’

  It felt like Ben was criticising her now, which seemed unfair. ‘I was in the middle of something, actually. A bit of minor surgery.’

  Debbie looked up from her recording of a new set of vital signs for Nathan and grinned at Ben. ‘A nail trephination,’ she told him. ‘Old Harvey White’s really got to stop carrying bricks around. He dropped another one on his toe yesterday and he couldn’t even walk because of the pain today.’

  ‘No way...’ The way Ben smiled back at Debbie and the feeling that they both knew far more than she did about her patient made JJ feel distinctly left out and she felt a pang of something she didn’t like. Envy, perhaps, of feeling like she really belonged somewhere like these two seemed to have? Or that connection when things could be said without actually saying anything aloud?

  Ben’s smile was fading as he turned back to JJ but she could see a gleam of amusement still in his eyes. Was he mocking her because she chosen not to respond to a potentially life-threatening situation outside the hospital in order to drill a hole in a toenail to relieve pain?

  ‘What did you use?’ he asked. ‘A needle or a paperclip?’

  Ignoring the query made her tone a lot crisper than she might have intended. ‘Let’s get on with these X-rays, shall we?’

  The images of the complicated fracture involving both the bones of Nathan’s lower leg made it obvious an expert orthopaedic opinion would be needed.

  ‘What’s the normal protocol for transferring a patient?’ JJ asked, a short time later, as she and Ben both stood looking at the illuminated images with Nathan drowsing on the bed behind them.

  ‘If the patient is status one or two, we call in the air rescue service,’ Ben responded. ‘The helicopter can land in the hospital grounds. If it’s not critical, we transfer by road. Usually we can get an ambulance dispatched from either Dunedin or Invercargill and meet them halfway.’ He paused for a moment, his gaze level—as if he was about to impart significant information. ‘They’re both around three hours’ drive from Cutler’s Creek so that means our ambulance is unavailable locally for at least ninety minutes.’

  JJ nodded. It was obvious that calling a helicopter in to transport Nathan would be a waste of valuable resources but...oh...was he was warning her that she would be responsible for any out-of-hospital emergencies while he was gone?

  She was about to tell him that wouldn’t be a problem. Zac had showed her where the emergency kit was kept so she could put it into her car now, just in case. She could take the defibrillator from the procedures room when or if she got a call. But it was Ben who spoke again before she had a chance to say anything.

  ‘We’ve got a backup transport vehicle—our old ambulance. I can call on a volunteer to do the driving. Nathan’s stable enough not to need a medical escort.’

  JJ stared at him. ‘Because you don’t think I could cope?’

  ‘Have you ever been out with an ambulance crew?’

  ‘Why should that make a difference? I am an emergency trauma specialist. I’m trained to deal with anything.’

  ‘In a big city ED, sure. Where it’s relatively easy to work your way through a flow chart protocol and follow every rule. Or even in a minor procedures set-up like this one that’s got everything available and labelled.’

  Okay...that was a direct jab. But he wasn’t finished yet. ‘You might find things a bit more challenging if you’re trying to put IV lines into upside down people and working in conditions like crawling around inside a wrecked car,’ he told her. ‘Especially in a rural environment when specialised backup might be too far away to rely on. You might even find that it’s not easy to control haemorrhage and your patient might lose a bit more blood than you’re happy with.’

  Had Ben felt he was being criticised when she’d asked for an estimation of blood loss? Was he also trying to tell her that he didn’t think she belonged in Cutler’s Creek? Or was he throwing another challenge at her—like leaving her with an orphaned lamb and a sack of milk powder? Not that it mattered, it was just a bit weird how strongly JJ felt she needed to prove herself to this man.

  No...maybe it was just that she needed to prove herself, full stop. To demonstrate that she was capable of embracing new challenges. That she didn’t fit neatly into some labelled box, perhaps, which could always come across as being unimaginative or dull. Boring, even...

  ‘That’s exactly what you should do,’ Ben concluded.

  ‘What is?’

  ‘Find out. Get out of your comfort zone. Come out on the road with us for the next priority one call or you could just join one of our training sessions in the meantime. If you’re up for it, that is.’

  Yep. This was a challenge being issued, all right. And JJ was definitely up for it.

  ‘I’m in,’ she said. ‘For whatever comes first. As long as I’m available, of course.’

  He didn’t have to say anything. She could see the warning that dealing with something as minor as a painful toenail would not be a legitimate excuse. But there was humour in the look as well and JJ was quite sure he could read her silent acceptance of the message that was also an apology. For a heartbeat, it felt like there was a level of the kind of understanding that formed a palpable connection. That they were about to share a smile. To place the foundation stones of a genuine friendship, even?

  Maybe that was disconcerting for them both, which might explain why they both turned away at exactly the same moment.

  ‘Just be prepared for anything,’ Ben said. ‘You might have to use every bit of that training of yours.’

  CHAPTER FIVE

  HER TRAINING CLEARLY hadn’t included anything like this.

  And perhaps climbing the foothills of mountains wasn’t something JJ Hamilton had ever chosen as something she wanted to do in her time away from work. She looked like she was struggling with this steep ascent, that’s for sure. She’d been out of breath even before they’d reached this rugged part of the track that required some clambering over large rocks and Ben could see how much effort it was taking to cling onto a smooth boulder and haul herself up to the next foothold.

  She also looked as if she was going to push herself as hard as it took, despite the fact she was still recovering from that sprained ankle and Ben didn’t want to end up with two patients to carry back down the slope. He held out his hand as she reached further up the rock, sliding it beneath and curling it around hers before she had the chance to refuse his offer of assistance.

  Her grip was surprisingly strong as she returned the pressure and it was no hardship to pull h
er up to his level. She felt as light as a feather, in fact, probably because she was also pushing hard herself with her legs. The ease and speed with which she arrived beside him was enough to put her unexpectedly close to Ben. So close that he could feel the puff of her trying to catch her breath on his own face and he could clearly read the surprise in dark eyes that were only inches from his. It had also been so fast that he hadn’t quite let go of her hand yet and, despite the fact that they were both wearing protective gloves, he could feel the shape of her hand and even the warmth of it, as if they both had bare skin.

  It wasn’t just warmth. There was a heat there that had absolutely nothing to do with body temperature. Shocked, Ben released his grip on her hand. He had to resist the urge to rub his own hand on something to try and get rid of the sensation that now seemed to be racing up his arm and into the rest of his body. He was also finding it hard to break that eye contact.

  ‘You good down there?’ Mike and other members of the Cutler’s Creek mountain search and rescue team were already out of sight above the rocks on this well-known track.

  How long had they been standing here like this? Surely not more than a few seconds, but JJ’s breathing was a lot less ragged so maybe it had been longer.

  Too long...

  ‘Come on...’ There was relief to be found in breaking that eye contact. ‘We don’t want to get left too far behind.’ He knew he could speed up now that they’d negotiated the scramble over boulders and there was a good trail to follow. ‘I use this Twin Rocks track as both training and a fitness test for anyone who wants to come onboard as an emergency services volunteer,’ he explained, as they picked up their pace. ‘I’ve found that the people who get fit enough to do this track easily have what it takes to cope with just about anything that gets thrown at them unexpectedly. Not a good look if I’m last.’

  He couldn’t help just another quick glance over his shoulder but that was only professional concern. He had to make sure JJ was going to safely manage this last section of the challenging track.

  That look of sheer determination in the face of a task that had to be pushing her to her physical limits was actually quite impressive. It didn’t really matter if he came in last, did it? The other members of his team would know he was just taking care of the new doctor who’d put her hand up to join this training session.

  Ben slowed his steps. Not enough to make it obvious he was trying to make it a bit easier for JJ. He was just adjusting the pace to make sure she didn’t collapse or something. He didn’t want to break that determination, either, because he knew how important it could be. He also knew that a city girl’s level of fitness was unlikely to be honed for an outdoor challenge like this so he turned his head just far enough to offer a half-smile.

  ‘You’re doing great,’ he muttered.

  * * *

  Doing great?

  JJ was dying here. Her face felt like it was on fire, which could explain why her lungs were burning so painfully. Her heart was thumping and she had trickles of perspiration making her back itch. The muscles in her legs were about to give up completely and her ankle, although it was well strapped, was aching more than it had in the week since she’d made that pact to either go on a priority one callout or join one of Ben Marshall’s training sessions that Zac had warned her were legendary.

  ‘You’ll certainly see how fit you are,’ he’d said with a grin. ‘Unless you die first.’

  And...to add insult to injury, Ben had just done it again—acted like he really, really didn’t like her. He’d offered her his hand and helped her over a boulder that would probably have been too much for her aching body but then it had been like he’d suddenly noticed it was her hand he was holding and he’d dropped it like it was burning him. He’d been looking at her, too, kind of like after they’d been talking about transferring Nathan with his badly broken leg. When she’d almost believed that there was a real connection between them and that they could end up being good friends.

  Ha... That wasn’t going to happen, was it? The best JJ could hope for was that she could prove she was good enough for these Cutler’s Creek locals to give her a chance to feel like she was accepted here. That she could belong. If she wanted to, that is. And maybe that was the crux of this challenge. JJ wanted to prove that she could be whoever she wanted to be. She was only thirty-five years old. Surely she wasn’t too old or set in her ways to choose a path that could change her life for the better?

  ‘Hey...’ It was Mike the firie who started the applause as JJ and Ben finally caught up with the small group standing under what appeared to be a rather dramatic cliff as they busied themselves getting into harnesses and sorting ropes. ‘Go you, Doc. First time is always the hardest.’

  JJ had no breath to respond but she couldn’t help a smile that felt like the widest she’d ever had. Ear to ear, that’s what it was.

  Pride...

  ‘So, this is Twin Rocks.’ Ben wasn’t looking at JJ as he waved an arm towards the cliff but it was clear that she was the only one who needed this information.

  ‘It’s really one rock face but it looks like two separate cliffs because of that deep gap in the middle. A hundred and fifty metres of rock wall that’s been well set up with permanent bolts to rappel from and varying degrees of difficulty depending on which section you choose.’ He still wasn’t looking at JJ. ‘People come from all over the country to abseil here so it’s not that uncommon to get a call to someone who’s injured themselves and they may well be stuck on the wall somewhere. That’s why just getting here might not be enough to save them.’

  He turned to JJ and she could see he was perfectly serious. The huge effort she’d just put into getting this far up the mountain wasn’t all that was expected of her.

  ‘Abseiling is a skill we use quite a lot. It might be a climber up here or a car that’s gone off the road in the gorge that leads into Cutler’s Creek. Sometimes it’s not possible to get a chopper in to winch someone down in time so it’s up to us. We’ve got to get to a patient, stabilise them and then carry them out somehow.’

  JJ nodded. It made sense. Her respect for what Ben did in his line of work had just gone up too many notches to count. That there were members of the community here prepared to train and then risk their lives to help in difficult rescues was also impressive enough to take her breath away.

  ‘This is just one of our regular training sessions to keep our skill sets sharp,’ Ben continued. ‘All these guys have done their basic abseiling training so you’ve got a bit of catching up to do. Let’s take the track that gets us up to the top and then I’ll throw a harness on you and you can give it a go.’

  This training session for the mountain search and rescue group had been astonishingly challenging so far but it hadn’t been terrifying. Until now. Not that she was going to let Ben see how much she wanted to turn around and get back down that track as fast as possible. There had to be an inspirational saying she could benefit from right now. ‘No guts, no glory’ perhaps? Or ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’?

  She could do that.

  Maybe...

  It was like a point of no return and she was ready to take that step but then she saw the quirk of Ben’s lips. A beat later, there was a ripple of laughter through the group.

  ‘That’s Ben’s little joke,’ Mike told her. ‘Don’t worry. You’ll do your abseiling training somewhere else.’

  Ben was nodding. ‘And it won’t be when you’re already stuffed from walking five kilometres up a steep hill.’

  ‘I would have given it a go,’ JJ said quietly.

  ‘I know.’

  Good grief, was that a flash of something like admiration she could see in his eyes?

  ‘What I will ask you to do, if you’re up for it, is to be a patient for us. See that ledge up there?’ Ben pointed towards an overhang that was only a few metres off ground level. ‘We’ll set you up with a h
elmet and a harness and just get you to sit on the ledge. The rest of us will pretend you’re actually further up the cliff, go to the top and plan how we’re going to get you off the ledge safely, assess your injuries and then get you down the track to where the ambulance will be waiting in that roadside parking area.’

  It sounded like JJ could actually be a useful participant in the training session, despite being tired and sore and having probably slowed the session down already, and she was more than willing to play her part.

  ‘What are my injuries going to be?’

  ‘Oh...let’s see...’ There was another smile hovering around Ben’s mouth. ‘How ’bout we make it an injured ankle? A bad sprain? No...a fracture.’

  ‘Am I conscious?’

  ‘Yep. You’re in a lot a lot of pain and you’re cold. You’ve been sitting on that ledge for a few hours waiting for help, and the weather’s closing in, which is why they couldn’t send a chopper to rescue you.’

  ‘Past medical history?’

  ‘You’re young,’ Ben told her. ‘And perfectly healthy.’

  ‘Okay. One more question...’

  ‘Shoot.’

  ‘How do I get up onto that ledge without really breaking my ankle?’

  ‘Come with me.’ Ben started moving closer to the cliff, turning to speak to Mike as he passed the group. ‘Take everybody up the track,’ he said, ‘and get sorted with your ropes and knots. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes. This will be more authentic if you don’t see exactly where JJ’s going to be.’

  By the time JJ reached the almost vertical wall of rock, the rest of the group had already vanished up another steep track to one side of the cliff. It felt like she was completely alone with Ben, who had pulled some items from what was left of the pile of equipment the team had carried to the scene.

  ‘One harness.’ He held it up to show JJ. ‘This is so your rescuer can clip you to his or her harness to make sure you’re kept safe.’

  JJ nodded. ‘Safe is good.’