Unlocking the Rebel's Heart

by Alison Roberts

  Being safe while being lifted from a rock ledge was the least of her immediate worries, however, because Ben was standing close enough to her to be causing some odd ripples of sensation in her gut.

  ‘Three loops. One for your waist and one for each leg.’ Ben gave the harness a shake. ‘We don’t want anything twisted.’ He was crouching as he spoke. ‘Put your left leg in this loop.’

  It was easy enough to put all her weight on her uninjured ankle to poke her foot through the loop but JJ had no choice but to hold onto Ben’s shoulder when she needed to lift the other foot. She could feel her cheeks reddening even before he began to slide the loops up her thighs.

  ‘I can do that.’

  ‘Take them right up. High as you can. They’re elasticised so they shouldn’t be either too tight or too loose.’ Ben straightened up to take the ends of the waist band and thread a strap through the central buckle. He pulled it tight but then put a fingertip beneath the belt and ran it across her belly.

  Dear Lord...that sensation in JJ’s gut felt like a trail of small flames.

  ‘Most important thing is to make sure that this band sits over the top of your hip bones,’ Ben said. ‘That way, you’ll still be safe even if you get tipped upside down.’

  JJ already felt as if something was being tipped upside down. She didn’t dare look directly at Ben as he secured the strap by threading it through a second part of the buckle and then ducked to find her a helmet. She jammed it onto her head but then fumbled with the fastening beneath her chin.

  ‘Here...let me.’

  JJ closed her eyes as she lifted her chin. She could feel the brush of Ben’s fingers on the delicate area of skin beneath her jaw bones that she’d never thought of as an erogenous zone. Until now...

  She opened her eyes when she heard the buckle click shut, knowing that Ben had finished his task. The last thing she expected was that he wasn’t moving away. He was staring at her and, for a moment that seemed long enough for time to have stopped, JJ was convinced he could read her thoughts.

  That he knew all too well that the only thing she was thinking about was being kissed. By him... That, for a split second, it was possibly something she wanted more than she’d ever wanted anything else in her life.

  It might have happened, too, if a two-way radio Ben had clipped to his belt hadn’t crackled into life.

  ‘We’re all set, boss.’ It sounded like Mike’s voice. ‘You planning on coming up any time soon?’

  Ben didn’t break his eye contact with JJ until he had the radio in his hand when it seemed like pressing the talk button flicked another switch at the same time.

  ‘Just need to position our patient,’ he radioed back. ‘Do a check on everybody’s harness and the Prusik loops they’ve used to attach their ropes. Don’t let anybody go over the edge till I get up there, though.’

  ‘Roger that.’

  ‘Come on.’ Ben jerked his head but didn’t look back at JJ as he led her to where she needed to scramble up onto the ledge.

  Those flames in her belly were becoming something rather more solid now, she realised as she followed Ben. Fear, perhaps?

  Or was it the knowledge that an inappropriate attraction that she’d thought had been confined to the odd, hidden, middle-of-the-night type of fantasy had just exploded into something that was about to break out of that very private part of her life?

  Which wouldn’t be a problem, except...

  Except that, in that weird moment when time had done something strange and elastic, she could have sworn that Ben had been doing more than reading her mind. He had been thinking about kissing her.

  And he’d wanted it as much as she had.

  CHAPTER SIX

  QUEENSTOWN.

  The small, South Island town that nestled on the shores of Lake Wakatipu, in the shadows of New Zealand’s dramatic Southern Alps, was widely regarded as the adventure tourism capital of the world and it was Ben Marshall’s favourite place. Not simply because of the great bars and restaurants or the stunning scenery or even the lively crowd of young, mostly foreign travellers who came looking for work where an income was either a bonus or a means to an adrenaline rush. Queenstown had been the closest thing to a big town when Ben had been growing up nearby and it still felt like home. His first holiday jobs had included driving jet boats through the rapids on the Shotover River and as a coach on the ski fields in the Remarkables and the thrill of discovering adult freedom in such a vibrant atmosphere was a memory he would always treasure.

  It was still the focus of his social life away from Cutler’s Creek and it had been too long since he’d enjoyed this particular tapas bar on the lakefront that was also known for its great range of boutique beer. Ben took another appreciative sip of the only drink he intended having on his night off. It wasn’t until he was wiping a bit of foam from the corner of his mouth with his thumb that he noticed his companion was mirroring his action—with her tongue. He looked away as he cleared his throat.

  ‘Great idea, this, Heidi. Thanks for texting me.’

  ‘No problem.’ Coming from the French speaking part of Switzerland, Heidi’s accent was as sexy as her long, platinum blonde hair, blue eyes and legs that went on for ever. ‘I’ve been missing having Ingrid as my housemate so I thought you were probably feeling lonely like me. It seems like too long since you were in town.’

  Ben was tracing drops of moisture on the outside of his beer glass with his fingertip. ‘Life’s been busy, I guess.’

  ‘Really? You have a lot of exciting accidents in your little village?’

  ‘Not often,’ Ben had to admit. ‘In fact, the most exciting thing in the last week or so wasn’t even real. We had a practice rescue of someone stuck on a cliff with a broken ankle after an abseiling accident.’

  ‘So you used a...what do you call them...the pretend people?’

  ‘A mannequin? No, we used a real person only she didn’t have a real broken ankle. She had sprained it not so long ago, though, so that helped her acting.’

  Maybe it hadn’t been purely acting. JJ’s ankle was probably pretty sore after the way she’d tackled that tough track like a champion. She hadn’t flinched at the prospect of being deposited on a narrow ledge, either, and putting her safety totally in the hands of a team that was still learning about difficult rescue situations—not just for being taken off that ledge but being strapped onto a stretcher and carried down the track, including that gnarly section with those big boulders in the way.

  She might come across as being someone who was overly cautious and liked her environment to be organised to the nth degree but it wasn’t because she lacked courage, was it? Far from it...

  ‘So...the next time, yes?’

  ‘Sorry?’ Ben realised he hadn’t heard a word of what Heidi had just said.

  ‘The next time. I can be your patient? I can come and play with you?’

  Oh, man...the invitation in those blue eyes was something any red-blooded man would probably give at least an eye tooth to be the recipient of.

  ‘Have you eaten enough?’ Heidi was sliding off the bar stool beside him. She was also sliding her hand into his. ‘Shall we go for a walk?’

  A walk back to her place?

  Ben was perfectly happy to accept the invitation. It was, after all, the reason he’d come into town for his night off, wasn’t it? Heidi was right, it had been too long and...he knew he needed this. A reminder of an important part of his life.

  There was enough moonlight to be gilding the soft ripples of the lake as they walked along the beachfront, away from the busy town centre. Ben knew that Heidi’s apartment was not far away but, for some strange reason, his steps were slowing. Heidi thought he needed a moment to savour the view and the tug on his hand made him stop completely.

  ‘It’s funny, isn’t it?’ Heidi smiled. ‘I come right across the world and I love it becau
se I find mountains that remind me of home.’

  She was still holding Ben’s hand as she turned to catch his gaze and it was blindingly obvious that she wanted him to kiss her but, instead of being exactly how he’d wanted this evening to progress, Ben was aware of a sinking sensation in his gut. He’d seen a look very much like this only days ago, hadn’t he?

  In JJ’s eyes...

  Dammit...this wasn’t working. He still wanted to kiss JJ, which made absolutely no sense at all.

  Perhaps kissing Heidi would do the trick. Desire should inevitably kick in because Heidi was exactly his type—and the total opposite of JJ Hamilton.

  Except it didn’t change anything. It only made it even more painfully clear that this wasn’t going to work.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured, breaking what was possibly the most unsatisfying kiss he’d ever experienced. ‘My head’s not in the right space.’

  ‘No worries...’ Heidi shrugged. ‘Next time, maybe?’

  ‘Maybe...’ Ben offered an apologetic smile as he let go of Heidi’s hand.

  He gave her a wave a minute later, after he’d said goodnight and was heading for where he’d parked his car.

  That sinking sensation had settled into a weight inside his chest that didn’t feel like it was going anywhere in a hurry. It was kind of a sad feeling.

  As if he knew there wasn’t going to be a next time?

  * * *

  ‘Queenstown?’

  ‘Yes. My favourite spot in the world. I’ve had a holiday house there for twenty years now. And a mooring for my boat right on the waterfront. Ah...’ Visiting specialist Nigel Shaw was clearly familiar with his destination as he pushed open the doors of Cutler’s Creek Hospital’s kitchen. ‘Betty... I hope that’s some of your famous vegetable soup I can smell?’

  ‘And your favourite toasties, Dr Shaw. With cheese and mustard.’

  ‘You know me so well, Betty.’

  ‘Come and sit down. You, too, Dr Hamilton.’

  ‘Thanks, Betty. Don’t mind if I do.’ JJ put the books she was carrying to one side as she sat down at the table. ‘There’s a couple of patients you saw in your cardiology clinic this morning that I should catch up with.’

  ‘Of course. I’ll do a full report for their medical records and email it through by this evening but is there someone in particular you’re concerned about?’

  There was a container full of cutlery in the middle of the table and another one with paper serviettes beside it. It didn’t matter how many people turned up here at mealtimes because Betty always had food and a warm welcome available. In the few weeks JJ had been working here, she’d had lunch with the other doctors—Zac and Don, Bruce the policeman, various local firies and other volunteers and, of course, Ben.

  JJ closed her eyes in a determined blink, as if that could stop her thoughts going in an unwanted direction. She’d put a plan into place immediately after that unfortunate moment during that training session on Twin Rocks track and she wasn’t about to deviate from the programme.

  ‘Yes. Shirley Keen. She was very anxious when I saw her last week about the palpitations she seems to still be experiencing.’

  ‘Mmm. Her ECG was normal—apart from the changes you’d expect from someone with a BMI of thirty-five. I’ve ordered blood tests to rule out something like a potassium or magnesium imbalance. Hypomagnesaemia is surprisingly common.’

  ‘Did she bring her diary in? I encouraged her to make a note of any possible triggers, like caffeine, exercise, alcohol, etcetera.’

  ‘She said she’d forgotten.’

  ‘To bring it or fill it in? Never mind...’ JJ shook her head. ‘I’ll follow that up. It’s not your problem.’ She sniffed appreciatively as Betty put a steaming bowl of soup in front of her. ‘That looks amazing.’

  ‘Toasties are on the way. And there’s plenty more soup where that came from.’

  Nigel Shaw was happy to eat and discuss patients at the same time. ‘We can think about doing a twenty-four-hour Holter monitor test for Shirley if you think she could cope with that. It would be helpful if you could catch any episodes of dysrhythmia on a rhythm strip and send them through to me in Dunedin. Is your ambulance service up to covering that?’

  ‘Oh...absolutely. We’ve got an extremely competent paramedic in charge here.’

  ‘Ben?’ Nigel nodded his thanks to Betty as she added a platter of toasted sandwiches to the table. ‘I’ve met him. He came up to Dunedin to do a training course we ran on thrombolytic administration in rural settings. You’re lucky he’s still here. I seem to remember he was talking about switching to a job with the helicopter rescue crew.’

  ‘Oh?’ The thought of Ben not being here came as a shock. Which was crazy because JJ was doing her best to convince herself that she wasn’t going to let him mess with her head any longer and she had her plan in action already. Thanks to that training session, she’d realised not only how unfit she was when it came to climbing hills but how little she knew about the kinds of outdoor skills she might need in an area like Cutler’s Creek so she’d embarked on an ambitious programme to improve both her fitness and knowledge.

  ‘So...’ Nigel reached for a sandwich. ‘Anyone else you’re worried about?’

  ‘Thomas Sefton? I know he’s got a lot more going on than his angina. I’d really like to help him with the peripheral neuropathy that’s contributing to his inability to exercise. He’s worried about dependency if he goes onto an opioid based analgesic.’

  Nigel smiled. ‘He’s ninety-three. It’s really not an issue. I can have another chat with him, if you like. I’m not heading back to Dunedin until Monday. I fancied a long weekend in Queenstown. I imagine you’re enjoying discovering all the local delights?’

  ‘I’m ashamed to say I haven’t explored much in the area yet. I got a bit caught up as soon as I arrived here.’ JJ made a face. ‘I’ve been bottle-raising a lamb but I’ve got him down to two feeds a day now so I could get away for a day.’

  ‘Come this weekend, then. I could show you around. A vineyard tour, perhaps. Or a cruise on the lake?’

  Oh, help...was this visiting cardiologist flirting with her? Asking her for a date, even?

  ‘That is, if you’ve got free time. I haven’t seen Zac around this morning, come to think of it. Or Don.’

  ‘Don’s here.’ It was a relief to be able to dodge that invitation. ‘He’s probably in his office and hasn’t realised it’s lunchtime. Zac’s in Dunedin, which is a trip he’s making a couple of times a week at the moment. He and Liv have a baby that arrived a bit too early.’

  ‘I heard.’

  The concern on Nigel’s face made it apparent that he really cared. He was a nice man, JJ realised. And he wasn’t bad looking, either. That moustache of his was impressively well trimmed. He was, in fact, just the kind of man she’d always been attracted to. Exactly her type. So why wasn’t she feeling remotely interested by the attention he was giving her?

  ‘I’m...ah...not sure exactly when Zac’s due back so I can’t really make plans for the weekend. Covering his gaps is the reason I’m here in the first place.’

  ‘I understand completely. I’ll console myself with my favourite pastimes of fishing and bush walks.’

  Nice, safe pleasures, JJ noted. He probably loved reading interesting, non-fiction books, as well. Or watching classic movies. He should be becoming more attractive by the minute.

  ‘I’m doing a bit of walking myself,’ she found herself saying. ‘With Shaun.’

  Nigel blinked. ‘A friend of yours?’

  ‘The lamb I was telling you about. He follows me everywhere and is surprisingly good company for a walk. I’m trying to improve my level of fitness.’

  She was walking further and faster every day, in fact, and when the challenge of flat ground and smaller hills became too easy, JJ was planning to leave Shaun at h
ome so that she could have another go at that Twin Rocks track. How embarrassing had it been to get so out of breath in front of Ben and to need his assistance in climbing over rocks?

  ‘Always a good thing.’ Nigel nodded. Then he smiled. ‘Though, in my professional opinion, I have to say you look in perfect shape already.’

  Yep. This was flirting. JJ averted her gaze instantly. ‘I’m learning some bushcraft, too,’ she said, hoping to change the subject completely. She shifted her diary to expose the cover of the other small book she had been carrying. ‘This is full of all sorts of stuff. I’m reading the chapter on how to cross rivers safely.’

  Nigel reached for a serviette to wipe his mouth and fingers, turning away from JJ. ‘That was delicious, as always, Betty.’ Then he smiled at JJ. ‘I’ll head off, unless there’s anyone else you want me to see or discuss? It’s such a lovely afternoon, if I finish those patient reports soon, I might even get out on the lake for an hour or two.’

  ‘Enjoy,’ JJ responded, as she shook her head in response to his query. ‘I’ve got your email address and I’ll contact you if there’s anything to discuss.’

  ‘Please do.’ The warmth of Nigel’s smile made it crystal clear that he would welcome the contact even if it had nothing to do with a patient. Especially if it didn’t...

  Betty collected the plates from the table as soon as the visiting specialist had gone.

  ‘You could do worse,’ she murmured, giving JJ a wink. ‘He likes you.’

  ‘Betty... I don’t even know if he’s single.’

  ‘He is. I believe his wife ran off with her yoga instructor a year or so ago.’

  ‘Hmm... I wonder why?’ JJ grinned. She shouldn’t say anything else but she felt a sudden need to dispatch an image of how pleased her grandmother would look if she knew that JJ was dating a good looking, respected cardiologist. Someone safe. The absolute opposite of a bad boy who took risks and wasn’t about to follow all the rules if he could get away with it. And there it was...she could see the look in Ben’s eyes again. The one that she was sure had told her that he’d been thinking about kissing her.