Wall of Silence

by Tracy Buchanan

  He shook his head. ‘Nah. But then, you know me, not exactly a fan of the authorities.’

  Melissa’s eyes travelled over to the rifle that was leaning up against the wall. She knew he needed it in case he found a fatally injured animal in the forest that needed to be put out of its misery. But she still felt uncomfortable seeing it there.

  ‘Did you hear about the community meeting?’ she asked.

  ‘Daphne told me a few bits.’ His brow puckered with concern as he got some mugs out from a cupboard. ‘I heard Grace went missing.’

  ‘She was fine. We found her at the oak tree.’

  Ryan smiled. ‘She’s always liked that tree, hasn’t she? Just like your mum.’ The smile disappeared off his face.

  Melissa nodded. ‘Andrew Blake mentioned a fight was reported between you and Patrick?’

  Ryan’s eyes flickered with something. ‘Fight? Don’t know anything about that.’ He brought over her coffee then sat down. ‘You need to stop beating yourself up, Melissa. I really think you’ve done the right thing not telling the police. You don’t know all the facts yet, and the kids have to come first. I’d do the same thing in your position.’

  ‘But the police might have a better chance of getting all the facts out of them!’

  ‘And scaring the hell out of them in the process. Honestly, you did what any decent parent would in the split second you had to make the decision.’

  Melissa surprised herself by letting out a sob, mainly out of relief from having someone validate her decisions over the past three days.

  ‘Come here,’ Ryan said, pulling her into his arms. She sobbed into his bare neck, comforted by the familiar forest smell of him. She’d done this before, in the days following Joel’s death.

  But then she thought of Patrick, lying wounded in hospital. How would he feel about her sobbing in Ryan’s arms?

  She pulled away from him, avoiding his gaze. He sighed and gave her some tissues. She wiped her face, blowing her nose. ‘Sorry, I’m just tired and emotional,’ she said. ‘If I can just get a handle on things, I might feel better. Like figuring out what those bloody posters mean,’ she said. ‘And getting rid of them too, they’re still in my bloody bag.’

  ‘Let me,’ Ryan said. ‘I can burn them.’

  ‘Thanks. I’ll try to bring them tomorrow.’

  Ryan sighed. ‘What does the I know in the poster mean?’

  ‘I can’t help but wonder if they know what happened to Patrick,’ Melissa admitted. ‘It can’t be a coincidence I found them the morning after, can it?’

  ‘It’s pretty easy to see through into your kitchen with that big window of yours, especially with binoculars.’ Ryan’s cheeks flushed. ‘I imagine so,’ he added quickly. ‘But why not go to the police? Why make posters, for God’s sake?’

  ‘God knows.’

  ‘Maybe they’re waiting for the right time to blackmail you or something. Maybe that was them earlier and they were planning to ask you for money.’

  ‘How’d they know I’d be out at this hour?’

  He shrugged.

  ‘As for the blackmail thing,’ Melissa said, ‘it’s not like we have any money!’

  ‘People aren’t to know that, are they? Patrick swans around in that Mercedes of his, wears all those expensive suits. All this stuff with him wanting to be our local councillor now – he’s always in the local paper, going on about how he’s going to make this place better.’

  ‘I sense a hint of disapproval.’

  ‘Not exactly the man’s biggest fan, am I?’ Melissa gave him a look. ‘I just mean, we’re completely different, aren’t we?’ he said. ‘My Land Rover is twenty years old and the only suit I own was from a charity shop in Ashbridge, which I bought for my dad’s funeral all those years ago. I’m just not the flashy type.’

  ‘Patrick isn’t flashy! I wish you’d give him more of a chance, Ryan. He really cares for his community and wants to make a difference. There’s nothing flashy about that, is there?’

  ‘And fell your mum’s oak tree in the process.’ Ryan sighed. ‘Let’s agree to disagree, shall we? So, back to the posters. If we can find out who put them up, we might be able to find out what happened to Patrick. Plus, the last thing you want is more appearing around the forest.’

  Melissa smiled. ‘We. So we’re a team, are we? Captain Hawkeye and Major Wolf,’ she said, referring to the characters they took on as kids when they played games in the woods.

  Ryan laughed. ‘Yes! I remember that now.’

  ‘I was such an awesome Captain Hawkeye with my binoculars.’

  ‘Not sure how awesome I was in my mum’s old fur coat.’

  They burst out laughing, then Melissa’s laughter trailed off as she remembered the gravity of the situation she was in. Ryan put his hand on her arm. ‘I got you, Hawkeye. You’re not alone in this any more.’

  Melissa took in a deep, shaky breath. ‘You don’t know how much that means to me.’

  They held each other’s gaze for a few moments, then Ryan got up, placing their mugs in the sink. ‘I might just have an idea, actually. You know those wildlife cameras that have been set up for that school project?’

  The kids at Forest Grove High had been doing a project on forest wildlife, which Ryan was helping them with by documenting nocturnal animals. Melissa nodded.

  ‘Why don’t I take a look at the footage and see if it shows who might have left the posters out?’

  Melissa smiled. ‘That is a genius idea!’

  ‘I just need to get the SD cards out and check them. There are quite a few so it might take a while to get them down and go through them.’

  ‘Are you sure? I know how busy you are.’

  He raised an eyebrow. ‘Funnily enough, things are pretty quiet next week – we’ve had quite a few cancellations.’

  ‘Why would people cancel?’

  He shrugged. ‘You know what this place is like – outsiders are always grounds for suspicion.’

  ‘You mean suspicion about Patrick?’ He nodded. Melissa shook her head in anger. ‘That’s ridiculous! Anyway, you’re not an outsider! You’ve lived here longer than anyone.’

  ‘Living in the forest doesn’t count, Melissa. To be a true Forest Grovian you have to live in the village.’

  ‘That’s silly, Ryan. Everyone made me feel like a Forest Grovian, despite coming from the forest.’

  ‘Not your mum, though.’

  ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

  He looked out towards the oak tree. ‘Forget I said it.’

  They fell into silence.

  ‘Anyway,’ Ryan said after a while, ‘it’s given me more time to do some woodwork.’ He gestured to some bird boxes in the corner. ‘Sold ten of those last week on my website.’

  ‘I’m not surprised,’ Melissa said. He’d made one for Melissa’s fortieth birthday the year before, leaving it outside the house with a note. Patrick hadn’t liked it, said it looked too rustic, so he’d made his own. Patrick’s was beautifully painted, all the sides perfectly sanded down. It was nice, but Melissa secretly preferred Ryan’s and kept it in the garden, right at the back so she didn’t have to endure Patrick clucking in disapproval whenever he saw it. The birds seemed to prefer it too, a gorgeous robin quickly making a home of it, while Patrick’s birdhouse remained empty. One day, she found Patrick’s birdhouse in the bin, its wood shattered. When she’d asked him about it, he’d said it had fallen off the wall. But she’d always suspected he’d smashed it apart in frustration.

  Melissa yawned.

  ‘You look knackered,’ Ryan said. He stood up and got his coat. ‘I’ll walk you back.’

  She took his hand as he passed her, looking up at him. ‘Ryan, thank you so much for all this. I really do wish I’d come to you earlier now.’

  ‘You’re here now, aren’t you?’ He squeezed her hand, eyes scanning her face as his blue eyes flickered with emotion. Then he pulled his hand away from hers. ‘Come on, let’s get you back. It’s nearly
four in the morning now.’

  A few minutes later, they were walking through the forest, Ryan’s huge flashlight guiding them. After a while, he crouched down.

  ‘What do we have here?’ he said, shining his light on a mobile phone lying on the ground.

  ‘My phone!’ She picked it up, placing it in her pocket.

  ‘This where you fell?’ he asked.

  She nodded, shivering as she looked around her.

  ‘Come on, let’s go,’ Ryan said.

  As the community centre came into view in the distance, Melissa sighed. ‘Everyone was so angry at the community meeting. It surprised me.’

  ‘Does it really surprise you?’ Ryan asked as he angrily kicked at leaves with his boots. ‘People don’t let things go here. Not when one of their own has been hurt. Think of that kid you’ve been helping, Jacob Simms.’

  ‘He is one of our own.’

  ‘You wouldn’t think it, the way they treated him, Andrea fucking Cooper writing that letter to the courts about them needing to give him a proper sentence.’ He caught her eye. ‘They’ll turn against you as soon as they think you’re not one of their own any more.’

  ‘You’re being paranoid,’ Melissa said. But as they got to Bill and Rosemary’s house, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was right.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Sunday 21st April, 2019

  4.15 a.m.

  I had a nightmare. I was standing in the kitchen and we were all shouting, like Thursday afternoon, but this time, Dad’s the one with the knife and he’s sinking it right into me . . . and then I realise it’s not him, it’s Ryan! And he’s stabbing me, over and over, and there’s so much anger in his eyes.

  I woke sobbing and so scared. All I could think was: I need Mum. So I went to her room, but she wasn’t there. Bathroom, nothing. Kitchen, nothing. And that’s when I saw her, just now, coming out from the forest with someone.

  That someone was Ryan.

  It’s completely freaking me out after that dream. I’m not surprised to see them together, though. How can I be, after everything Dad said about Mum and Ryan? It makes me think how Dad must have felt, and now I’m feeling super-guilty. The guilt and the regret hit me right in my core, like it does when I let myself stop to think about it all.

  I bend over now, clutching at my stomach, trying to stop the sobs.

  What have I done?

  The sound of the phone ringing makes me pause. The phone. At this time? I walk to the door and lean my ear against it.

  ‘Oh God,’ I hear Nan say. ‘Bill! Bill!’

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Sunday 21st April, 2019

  4.20 a.m.

  Melissa quietly let herself into Rosemary and Bill’s house, frowning as she noticed the lights were on . . . and there was movement inside.

  Rosemary appeared from the kitchen then, pulling her coat on, a panicked look on her face. ‘Where have you been?’ she asked Melissa.

  ‘I – I went for a walk. I needed to clear my head. What’s going on?’

  Rosemary glanced at the dirt on Melissa’s grey jogging bottoms and on her face. ‘The hospital called. Patrick’s taken a turn for the worse.’

  Melissa’s head spun. ‘Jesus, what happened?’

  ‘Infection,’ Bill said from the landing in a sombre voice. She looked up to see him standing with the kids, who were all in their pyjamas, bleary-eyed.

  ‘Where were you, Mum?’ Grace asked.

  ‘Just a walk.’ She caught Lewis’s eye, and he nodded, knowing she had hidden the knife. Melissa turned to Rosemary. ‘I knew something was wrong – that bloody rash! I mentioned it to the nurse.’

  ‘I did too,’ Rosemary said, tears filling her brown eyes. ‘Come on, we need to get to him. They said it’s very serious.’

  The children exchanged worried glances as Melissa tried to stop herself from sobbing. Was this it? Was she going to lose Patrick?

  No, no!

  ‘Kids, get changed,’ Melissa instructed. They needed to be there if he died. It didn’t matter what had happened, he was their father! This might be their last chance to see him.

  ‘No, let them stay here,’ Bill said.

  ‘On their own?’ Melissa said.

  Bill patted Lewis on the shoulder. ‘The twins are fifteen, Melissa, you’ve left them all on their own before. They’ll be fine.’

  Will they be fine? Melissa couldn’t help but think. The last time they were alone, one of them stabbed their father.

  ‘No, you should come,’ she said to the kids.

  Rosemary shook her head. ‘They’re too young. Come on, let’s go.’

  Melissa blinked, trying to figure out whether to push the matter.

  ‘Come on,’ Bill said, grabbing the car keys. ‘We need to get to Patrick, now!’

  ‘Okay,’ Melissa said, quickly running up the stairs to the kids and kissing them on their foreheads. ‘I’ll call with news. Stay safe, okay? Do not leave the house.’

  ‘We’re fine, Mum,’ Lewis said, putting his arms around his sisters’ shoulders.

  Melissa gave him a look that she hoped conveyed her thoughts, then went back downstairs, looking at Bill and Rosemary. ‘Let’s go to the hospital.’

  The journey was unbearable. Awful scenarios flashed through Melissa’s mind: would they get there to find Patrick had passed away? Her husband, the love of her life, her rock: gone. Those thoughts mingled with guilt. Guilt that an hour ago she’d been hiding the very knife used to stab him. Guilt, too, that she’d allowed Ryan to hold her like he had earlier. Allowed those few extra seconds before pulling away.

  When they got to the hospital, Bill pulled into a disabled parking bay. ‘I don’t care,’ he said when Rosemary pointed it out to him. ‘I’ll pay the bloody fine.’

  The three of them jumped out of the car, the sound of the doors slamming sending birds sleeping in the trees flying away. Then they ran inside, rushing down corridor after corridor until they eventually got to Patrick’s ward, Melissa’s head throbbing with the horror of what might await them.

  Patrick, gone.

  After giving their names at the intercom outside his ward, they were greeted by his young doctor. She looked dishevelled, tired.

  ‘Is my husband okay?’ Melissa asked, peering behind her into the semi-darkness of the ward as the doctor steered them towards the family room.

  ‘The nurses are tending to him now. You can see him soon. Come to the family room, we can have a quick chat.’

  The three of them followed her in.

  ‘What’s happened?’ Melissa asked.

  ‘I want to see my son now,’ Bill said in a stern voice.

  ‘Bill,’ Rosemary said, placing her hand on his arm. ‘Let the doctor explain what happened.’

  Bill took a deep breath then nodded, taking a seat with Rosemary across from the doctor as Melissa leaned against the wall.

  ‘Patrick has a hospital-acquired infection known as stenotrophomonas maltophilia,’ the doctor explained.

  ‘So he caught it from this place?’ Bill said in disgust, looking around him.

  ‘Yes, unfortunately,’ the doctor said with a sigh. ‘We do all we can to avoid such infections, but it does happen, especially to those in a critical condition like Patrick. His immune system is very compromised.’

  ‘I noticed a rash on him yesterday,’ Melissa said, looking out at the corridor, desperate to get to her husband. ‘I told the nurse.’

  ‘Yes, we were aware of that,’ the doctor admitted. ‘Infection was one of the many conditions that may have caused it.’

  ‘Then why didn’t you act on it?’ Bill asked.

  ‘We did, when we noticed his condition worsening,’ the doctor said.

  ‘How is he now?’ Melissa asked, wanting to cut through to the facts.

  ‘Better. There was a moment about an hour ago when we thought we might lose him.’

  Rosemary gasped as Bill hung his head. Melissa hugged herself, trying her best to hold back t
he tears. She needed to stay strong for Patrick.

  ‘But he’s through the worst now?’ she asked.

  The doctor sighed again. ‘Not necessarily. The next few hours will be crucial.’

  ‘He could still die, then?’ Bill snapped. Rosemary let out a moan and put her head in her hands.

  The doctor looked up at them with sad eyes. ‘As we’ve discussed, regardless of whether Patrick has an infection or not, it’s always a possibility for your son, Mr Byatt. He sustained a very serious head injury.’

  Melissa squeezed her eyes shut.

  ‘One of us should have been here,’ Rosemary said. ‘He should never be left alone.’ She gave Melissa a look and Melissa could see the message in her eyes: you were out, walking, when you should have been with your husband.

  ‘I told you all yesterday that it’s good for Patrick to be alone sometimes,’ the doctor said quickly. ‘Of course, it’s a comfort to know one of you is there but there are also times when he needs to be completely alone. We’ve moved him into a private room now to give him more peace and quiet.’

  ‘Not now, though,’ Rosemary said. ‘I’m not leaving his side.’

  The doctor nodded. ‘Of course. Let me check if you can go through. I’ll be back in a moment.’

  She stood up and left them alone in the room.

  ‘Where exactly were you, Melissa?’ Rosemary asked. ‘It was four in the morning, for Christ’s sake!’

  ‘I don’t get what this has to do with Patrick getting an infection,’ Melissa snapped back, her face flushing.

  ‘You should have been with him,’ Rosemary said.

  ‘So should you!’ Melissa shot back.

  ‘Going for a walk at four in the morning – really?’ Rosemary said.

  ‘I couldn’t bloody sleep! You know walking in the forest helps clear my head.’

  ‘Why not take the dog, then? You always take Sandy when you walk. Why—’

  ‘Enough!’ Bill said. The two women went quiet. ‘The doctor’s right, she did tell us he needed time alone, remember? And that it was best we got sleep so we could be strong for him. That’s why we all stayed at home last night, to get a proper night’s sleep. We need to stop bickering and focus on Patrick now.’