Cason is a teenager too, and it hasn’t stopped you from wanting him.
I sharply exhaled and went into the living room. A night of mindless TV was exactly what I needed. An hour into binging a show called Murderous Affairs, my phone lit up with a notification. It was a message from the hookup app I’d joined.
HungDaddy: U want this big cock?
Attached was a photo of said cock. I’d seen bigger. With a username like that and being so forward in the first message, I knew the guy wasn’t my type. Uninterested, I focused back on the show.
I had joined the site after things ended with Jay, and I occasionally met up with men for sex. I never posted photos of my face, and I didn’t list my real name. Just a picture of me in a suit from the neck down and a few shots of my chest.
Another message came through, this one from username PowerBottom. I chuckled at the name and read the one-word message: Hey.
I wasn’t in the mood, so I turned my phone over and lay down, deciding to spend the rest of the night learning about twisted fuckers who killed their spouses. As an attorney, it was interesting to watch those types of crime documentaries and seeing what angle was used for their defense. It was also a lot like the real case I was working on with Jeff Ritter.
I fell asleep sometime later and woke up around 5:00 a.m. with a crick in my neck and a need to piss. An early start to another long day.
There’s not enough coffee in the world to help me.
Chapter 5
Cason
Two weeks had passed since I came to the conclusion that I might be gay… or at least since I accepted the fact I was majorly questioning. With the acceptance came the curiosity to learn more. To experiment.
I watched an insane amount of gay porn and got an idea of my likes and dislikes. A major turn-on for me was the fantasy of fucking someone older, experienced, and who had a dominating personality. I also liked power play. Like a professor and his student or a lawyer screwing his client. That touch of forbidden.
Having an open mind about my sexuality had started to excite me. I just hated how I couldn’t talk to Ryan about it. I got the feeling he wouldn’t take it well, judging from how he’d reacted at the party when I grabbed his hand.
During the weeks, I had also come to another conclusion: I was ready to lose my virginity. I’d been ready for a while, but I’d never met a girl I wanted to be with. It had never felt right. But with the discovery of a whole new world—one with Daddys, sexy as fuck abs, and mouthwatering cocks—sex was all I could think about.
Even at work.
A guy came in asking about our selection of men’s apparel, and after answering his question, all I could do was stare at the faint outline of his cock through his athletic pants. When he walked away, I admired his toned ass. If I didn’t have sex soon, I feared I might go around dry humping the customers.
“Hey,” Rudy, the assistant manager, said. “Will you do a quick sweep of the men’s bathroom before you go?”
“Sure thing.”
Once in the bathroom, I leaned against the door, taking calming breaths. Yeah, I needed to get laid. Maybe then I’d be able to go back to being normal and not behave like a sex-crazed lunatic.
Ryan called me on my way home.
“Change of plans tonight, man,” he said. I heard a giggle in the background. “Lexi showed up and surprised me with Sick Beat tickets for tonight’s show.”
“Oh, cool.” I tried to disguise my disappointment. I didn’t mind him going to the concert without me, but we’d planned to go to the pool hall that night and chill. Now I had to either go home and deal with Steve or find somewhere else to hang out. “Have fun.”
“You sure it’s okay?” Ryan asked.
“Yeah. Totally.”
“Cool. We’ll hang tomorrow, dude. Gotta go.”
He hung up, but not before I heard Lexi giggle again. They’d only been seeing each other for a few weeks, but Ryan was crazy about her. I couldn’t blame him for wanting to spend time with her. She was a lot prettier than me.
“’Bout time you got home,” Steve said right as I walked through the door. He sat on the couch, legs apart and taking up too much room, and the little hair he had left on his head shone with grease.
“It’s called having a job,” I said, passing him. “You should get one. Maybe a shower, too, while you’re at it.”
“What did ya say to me?” He shot off the couch and came toward me.
“Steve, just leave ’em be,” Mom said, walking out of her room. A cigarette rested between two fingers, and she wore shorts and one of his baggy shirts. “Cason, honey. Do you have twenty bucks I can borrow? After buying my meds—you know how expensive they are—and paying the rent, I’m strugglin’, baby.”
I always paid half the rent and the electricity bill. She had a prescription for pain pills because of a back injury from years ago, but she abused them and always got more from dealers when she went through them too quick.
Not wanting to argue with her, I pulled out my wallet and gave her a twenty.
“Thanks, honey.” She hugged me, and I curled my nose at the scent of smoke. “Such a precious boy.”
“Precious,” Steve scoffed and grabbed a beer from the fridge. “An asshole is what he is.”
I went to my room and locked the door. Steve bitched from the living room, calling me a spoiled brat. It took all my self-control not to go in there and punch his lights out. He was a damn moocher who lived off my mom’s disability check. He had a lot of nerve to say shit like that about me.
Frustrated, my eyes began to water. I fucking hated it in that apartment. Just a few more months, I reminded myself. I’d start college and move into the dorm.
I’d finally be free.
They eventually left, probably to go gambling or party at one of Steve’s friend’s houses. The few times they’d had parties at the apartment, people complained and we were given a warning that if it happened again, we’d be evicted.
Bored, I played a game on my phone before getting bored of that too. Ryan texted me a picture of him and Lexi at the concert. Trevor posted pics of him and Brad on social media surrounded by a bunch of girls with a caption that read, My Friday night is better than yours.
I had never felt so alone, like I was looking at everyone through a two-way mirror but no one could see me.
Ugh, I’m being so melodramatic.
After browsing through my phone, swiping through the different apps, my thumb then hovered over one in particular. My palms began to sweat, and my heart pounded harder. I had set up a profile on a gay hookup app a few days ago, but I hadn’t messaged anyone. Yet.
No time like the present.
So, I started the hunt. I narrowed the search to men within a twenty-mile radius of me and browsed through them. There were bears and twinks, as well as total gym rats with bulging biceps and washboard abs. I felt like a kid in a candy store, but instead of candy it was dick. Which could be sucked on like candy. That thought then got me thinking of what it would be like to actually suck another dude off. The only dick I’d ever touched before was mine.
What if I sucked? And not in the good way.
Having way too much fun, I messaged like ten guys. Then they started replying.
Need a Daddy?
Down 2 fuk?
Nice bod. Can I see ur face?
My profile photo was of my torso. I’d worked my ass off to get my abs, and I liked showing them off. Plus, I hadn’t wanted to post my face because I was still figuring things out and didn’t want to risk one of my friends stumbling across it.
They said college was a time to experiment… I was just starting that journey a bit early.
My search came to an abrupt stop when I came across a profile of a man in a suit, no face shown. But damn… he checked all of my boxes. He was thirty-seven, had a good build from what I could tell, and his profile was mostly bare, apart from a sentence that said he was interested in men and one-night stands.
It had c
ome as no surprise to me that my favorite porn videos had starred dark-haired men in suits—well, before said suit was stripped off. All because of my crush on Emery. Maybe this guy on the app could fulfill my fantasies of banging Ryan’s dad.
I was horrible for even thinking that, but it made it no less true.
Unlike when messaging the other guys, I had no clue what to say to him. Would a simple hey be too boring?
Me to LiamC: Hey! Saw you were near my area. What’s up?
Not too bad, but kind of bland, even for me. As I waited for him to—hopefully—message back, I got off the bed and changed into a clean shirt and jeans before squirting on a bit of cologne. I was getting fucked that night. One way or the other.
A ding from my phone had me tripping over myself to rush over and grab it.
LiamC: Having a quiet night at home…unless you’d like to change that.
“Oh, hot damn.” I grinned and typed a response.
Me: Hell yeah.
LiamC: How old are you?
Shit. I had left my age off my profile, so I couldn’t blame him for asking. I debated on lying and saying I was older, but shit like that usually came back to bite people in the ass.
Me: 18
Several minutes passed before he replied.
LiamC: A bit young for me tbh. I’m 37.
Me: I don’t mind it if you don’t ;)
“Oh my fucking god,” I muttered under my breath. The winking emoji might make me seem immature. There was something about this guy that drew me in, and I didn’t want my age to be a factor. It wasn’t like I was underage or anything.
I’d keep me being a virgin to myself, though. That would certainly chase him away.
LiamC: What are you looking for on here? Sex, dating…?
Me: Sex. But a guy earlier asked me if I ever thought of being a foot model, so idk. I might find a job on here too.
LiamC: lol wasn’t expecting that.
I liked that I’d made him laugh. It showed he wasn’t a stiff.
Me: I’d ask what you’re looking for, but your profile answered that for me. I’m interested in hooking up if you are.
Another long pause.
LiamC: Meet me in an hour.
He then sent an address. I put it into the GPS and saw it was a Marriott hotel. Fancy. It would take me around twenty minutes to get there, so after checking myself in the mirror for the umpteenth time and making sure I smelled good, I left the apartment.
Sensible Cason told me Liam could be a creeper. Maybe even a serial killer who used hookup apps to pick up his victims. But Horny Cason told him to fuck off. Plus, I was meeting Liam at a hotel, a nice hotel. If he planned to kill me and turn me into a Cason kabob, he would’ve picked somewhere less conspicuous.
The hotel was busier than I’d expected, and it took me a bit to find a parking spot. The hotel was near the interstate, though, so it probably got a ton of business from people traveling through the area. Because god knows they weren’t visiting our nowhere town in Arkansas.
Sitting in the car, I went back into the app and messaged Liam.
Me: Here.
LiamC: Just checked in. Room 319. Come up when you’re ready.
My hands shook as I cut the engine. My legs wobbled as I got out of the car. Doubt slammed into me as I walked across the parking lot toward the entrance. People did this stuff all the time. I was just inexperienced.
Once in the hotel, the guy behind the counter greeted me. I nodded to him and went to the elevator, hitting the button for the third floor. The thing went up fairly quick, and as it climbed each floor, my pulse raced faster. I had the urge to puke when I reached the third floor and the elevator doors opened. After stepping out into the hall, I stood in place and focused on my breathing.
Virginity meant nothing to me. I wasn’t freaking out over that. I couldn’t wait to lose it. But was losing it to a complete stranger the best idea?
“Come on,” I told myself, bouncing on my heels to pump myself up. Just like I did before a big game.
A woman came out of the room beside me and went wide-eyed.
“Hey,” I said, my face heating as I stopped bouncing. “Uh, sorry.”
I walked down the hall, checking the room numbers. 313. Another few steps. 315. Shit, I was getting close. And then I reached room 319.
You can do this. If you get a weird vibe, you can just leave.
With my throat tight and my stomach in knots, I lifted a hand and knocked. Light at first and then once more a little harder. I heard movement on the other side—footsteps followed by the creak of him turning the handle.
I was fucking trembling. From nerves. From excitement. The door opened, and the air rushed from my lungs. Black hair. Piercing blue eyes. And a face as shocked as mine.
“Mr. Cross?”
Chapter 6
Emery
My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. There was no way Cason could be the guy I’d been meeting up with.
“Mr. Cross?” he asked, his brown eyes big and full of questions.
Goddammit.
Shock. Embarrassment. Arousal. I felt them all.
“Come inside,” I said, opening the door wider so he could walk through and then closing it behind him. I hesitated in place, hand on the handle and not looking at him. My heart went wild, and my head spun.
When I’d received the message from SportsGuy earlier that evening and checked out his photos, I had been more than intrigued. Athletic build with sexy abs and a nice tan. Definitely my type. Then he’d said he was only eighteen. I had nearly turned him down right there, but then he’d made me laugh. And it had felt nice. I had also thought of Cason… and as wrong as it might be, I’d thought I could fuck this guy and get it out of my system.
Get Cason out of my system.
In what kind of screwed-up world would SportsGuy turn out to be the one man I’d been trying to get out of my head?
“Mr. Cross, I—” Cason went silent as I finally faced him. His cheeks reddened and his breaths came quick. Light brown hair was styled, and he’d doused himself in cologne. He’d come ready to impress for sure.
“Did you know it was me?” I asked, irritated. But my annoyance wasn’t his fault. Not really. It came from the months of me wanting him and struggling with the taboo nature of that want.
I’d had suspicions he was into me, but I hadn’t been certain. And now he was standing in my hotel room, a temptation like no other.
“What? Of course not!” Cason backed up, shaking his head. “I didn’t even know you were gay, Mr. Cross.”
“Stop calling me that.” Pointing out our age difference made me feel even worse. Made me feel wrong.
“Should I call you Liam instead?” Cason asked.
I released a sharp breath and scrubbed my hands over my face. I was both mortified and racked with guilt.
“No.”
“Is Liam like your hookup name? Are you not out?”
“It’s my middle name,” I answered, focusing on him. He hadn’t moved from his spot, and he seemed less shy but no less curious. “I’m not surprised Ryan never told you.”
“That your middle name is Liam? No, he didn’t tell me.”
I knew he was trying to be cute, but it only annoyed me even more. This wasn’t the time to crack jokes. What should I do? It wasn’t like we could pretend this never happened. Never in a million years did I think I’d ever be in this position.
“So, Ryan knows you’re gay?” Cason sat on the bed and arched a brow at the condoms and lube I’d placed on the comforter.
“Yes,” I answered, going over to remove them. Sex definitely wasn’t happening that night. I tossed them in the drawer beside the bed. “He doesn’t approve.”
“Approve? Like he’s homophobic?” He dropped his gaze to the floor. “I kinda got that vibe from him but didn’t wanna believe it.”
“I assume you haven’t told him about you?” I sat on the bed, keeping a distance between us even though I ached to be close
r.
Cason shook his head. “I’m still figuring things out. I don’t know if I’m gay or just questioning, so I started experimenting with stuff to get a better idea. But it’s hard not having anyone to talk to about it.”
God, he reminded me of myself.
“I know the feeling,” I said, clasping my hands together and running my thumb over the place my wedding band used to sit. “I struggled as a teen before figuring it out. And once I did, it terrified me.”
“What did you do then?” Cason looked up at me, and once again, the word innocent came to mind.
“I started dating Amber and got married.” I chuckled at his stunned expression, although the situation wasn’t exactly funny. I’d been in such a dark place back then. “Being gay wasn’t an option for me. Or, at least, I didn’t think it was. I come from a highly conservative family, and all I heard growing up was how gays were all abominations. Disgusting.” I looked at my hands again. At the ring that was no longer there. “I hated myself. So I locked that part of me away and hid behind a wife and false pretenses.”
Opening up to anyone about that part of my life was rare. I hadn’t even talked to Jay about it. So, why was I spilling it all to a damn kid?
I made myself think of Cason that way, as a kid. It helped remind me that I shouldn’t want him.
“What happened once you came out?” he asked.
“I no longer have a relationship with my religious parents, and my son is struggling with acceptance.”
“Do you still hate yourself?” he whispered.
“No.” I stood and walked over to the window. Headlights from the interstate three stories down blurred together. People came and went, here one moment and gone the next. “A friend helped me out of that dark place.”
“A boyfriend?”
I turned and faltered a bit at how close Cason stood to me. I hadn’t heard him approach. Seeing his warm eyes and kissable lips, my blood pressure rose and my skin prickled. Enough about my life. Time to get down to another concerning topic. “Mind telling me what the hell you were doing tonight?”
His Temptation Page 5
