Three Dogma Night (The Elven Prophecy Book 3)

by Theophilus Monroe

  I shook my head. “I swear, Jag…”

  “See you at the gym tomorrow, Captain Pee Pants.”

  I shook my head. “I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

  “You won’t,” Layla said. “But I don’t think peeing your pants is what people are going to remember.”

  “Layla!” I said. “I’m not lying. It isn’t pee.”

  Layla shrugged. “Perception is reality, and this will forevermore be a part of the lore of the chosen one who rose in fulfillment of the elven prophecy.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah. He saved the world, they’ll say. But remember that time he pissed himself?”

  “So, you admit it?” Layla asked.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Shut up!”

  Layla was laughing. She believed me. I’m sure, anyway. But holy hell, it was embarrassing.

  I made a mental note to buy a fly swatter for the next time Ensley showed up.

  Don’t get me wrong, he was an ally. But dammit, he was an annoying little bugger.

  Despite all the embarrassment, though, I was still on an adrenaline high. I mean, I’d just stood up to a giant water monster, and I’d prevailed.

  I don’t know that it was a monster, exactly. More like a personification of water. Water can be a terrifying thing. In the Bible, when the waves crashed against the boat and threatened to sink it before Jesus went out to them by walking on the surface, the disciples were terrified. It was water that once flooded and destroyed the Earth. And if you’ve ever lived through a flood, you’d know how much damage water can do.

  The ancients viewed the sea as a wily, unpredictable, hazardous place. Hell, from what I knew of the history, the off-kilter Roman Emperor Caligula had once waged war on Poseidon, the god of water, and returned to Rome demanding a formal triumph, a parade to show off his spoils of war, after the supposed battle.

  Yes, I took my place now beside the craziest emperor in history. I faced off against the force that God Almighty once used to destroy the world. The power he’d used to thwart the Pharaoh’s army during the exodus. Maybe my victory wasn’t as dramatic. Maybe it ended with a touch of personal embarrassment. But I’d won.

  It didn’t take long, though, for the thrill to fade.

  A sinking feeling settled into my gut as Layla and I boarded the bus.

  “What’s wrong, Caspar?” Layla asked.

  I shook my head. “That thing almost killed me.”

  “But it didn’t,” Layla said. “I knew you’d win. You are the chosen one, Caspar.”

  “Maybe,” I said. “But I sort of got lucky. If Aerin hadn’t dropped the clues I needed…”

  “I don’t know what it was like,” Layla said. “But there’s a reason why the drow refer to these things as trials. They were never going to be easy.”

  “I know,” I said, sighing. “But tomorrow, I have to face off with fire, and what if it’s the size of that water elemental?”

  Layla pointed out, “Now you have water to wield, right?”

  I nodded. “If I can figure out how to use it.”

  “You have more at your disposal now than you did today. And the last I checked, fire doesn’t stand up well to water.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “But if the fire envelops me the way the water did today. If it gets that close before I can take it out, I won’t survive long enough to put it out.”

  “Then don’t let it get so close to you next time,” Layla said. “You have to adapt your strategy to the strengths of your enemy.”

  I scratched the back of my head. “Perhaps you’re right. I suppose we’ll just have to take it one day at a time, right?”

  Layla nodded. “Perhaps you should grab a meeting tomorrow. After the workout. Might help get you grounded, you know?”

  “Grounded,” I said. “The earth elemental comes later.”

  Layla smiled. “You know what I meant.”

  I pressed my lips together. “Dammit.”

  “What?” Layla asked.

  “I have to pee again.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  I was exhausted.

  I needed to sleep.

  But it seemed like every time I laid back down and started to snooze, I had to pee again.

  So I sat there in bed with Layla, looking gorgeous as ever, at my side. Damn, I was a lucky man. Agnus was curled up at the foot of the bed, snoring more loudly than you’d think is natural for a cat.

  I was also sweating profusely, but I wasn’t hot.

  It was like I’d absorbed so much water that my body was doing anything it could to shed it. It had to be a shock to the system, to go from the elemental pulling all the water out of me to suddenly having my body flooded with more water than should have been able to fit inside it.

  I realize magic was involved, but what happened shouldn’t have been possible.

  Whatever.

  I gave up trying to explain how most of this magic shit worked. That’s why they call it magic, right?

  But if I wasn’t going to get any sleep, I figured I might as well try to experiment with my new abilities. I had less than twenty-four hours to get ready to face a fire elemental that was presumably on the scale of the water giant I’d just absorbed.

  I grabbed a pint-sized glass from one of my cabinets and filled it with water.

  I set it on the kitchen counter and stared at it.

  The elemental was absorbed by me. Presuming I didn’t piss the whole thing away, its essence was part of me now. At least, Aerin said it would be.

  I stared at the glass. “Start swirling.”

  It didn’t react.

  Maybe it didn’t respond to words. I don’t know why I thought it might. So far, magic words had nothing to do with any of the magic I’d done.

  I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and tried to visualize the water in my glass spinning like a little whirlpool.

  I opened my eyes.

  Still nothing.

  I wished Aerin had given me a few pointers, but she’d admitted that she hadn’t wielded magic this way before. The drow used enchantments—spells, if you could call the enchantment process a spell—that required low power and long commitment. Layla wasn’t familiar with elemental magic. It was tied to the Earth. Whatever the magic they’d taken from the Earth’s ley lines and brought to New Albion was, it wasn’t tied to elemental entities. Not like the one whose power I was supposed to have just harnessed.

  There was one person I could ask. I half-dreaded what he’d do, but I expected he was hanging out somewhere nearby.

  “Ensley?” I called.

  I heard something fall over by my computer desk. I walked over to it, and my mouse was lying upside-down on the floor.

  Ensley appeared on the edge of the desk with a green glow around his body.

  “Well, you caught me,” Ensley said.

  I bent over and picked up my mouse. He’d affixed a piece of tape to the sensor on the bottom.

  “Seriously, Ensley?”

  “I know,” Ensley said. “It’s not my best prank, but I was getting bored. Glad to see you changed your pants.”

  I sighed as Ensley giggled, recalling the success of his previous practical joke.

  Then I started laughing with him. “I have to admit, it was embarrassing as hell, but that was a pretty good one. I’ll never know how you manage to pull these things off unnoticed. Did you have a roll of cellophane somewhere nearby?”

  “A good trickster never reveals his secrets,” Ensley said, smiling with satisfaction.

  “Just stay away from my shampoo bottle,” I said.

  Ensley snorted. “Yeah, sorry about that one. I guess it was a little bit over the top. Get it? Over the top? Since it made your head bald?”

  I chuckled. “So the fairy has tricks and jokes?”

  “What can I say?” Ensley asked. “I’ll be here all week.”

  “Any clue how I can use this elemental magic I gained tonight?” I asked.

  Ensley interlaced his fingers and, extendi
ng his arms, popped his knuckles. “You’ve come to the right place, my friend.”

  “I tried commanding the water. I even tried visualizing it, like I did when I was fighting the elemental. But it isn’t responding.”

  “That’s because when you were battling the elemental, you were subduing it with your spirit,” Ensley said. “Elementals do not operate as a projection of your will. Not the way your spirit does.”

  “So, the magic in the ley lines,” I said. “Which element is that?”

  “It isn’t any single element,” Ensley said. “It represents potential. It interacts with elements but is not tied to any of them.”

  “So, the elves on New Albion only use magic in conjunction with their spirits?” I asked.

  “Yes and no,” Ensley said. “That’s what most of them learn. But during my time with the elf king, he had a whole collection of elementals. Almost like a zoo. I imagine he’d been sending elves to Earth for years to harvest them.”

  “Sort of like the crystal ball that Aerin had the elemental contained in?” I asked.

  “Exactly that,” Ensley said. “The elven legion has been training with the elementals to prepare for wielding their power when they invade this world.”

  “To control the weather?” I asked. “I mean, Layla already knew they could do that. How did she know that was possible if she didn’t know that they accessed elementals?”

  “I wasn’t there,” Ensley said. “So I can’t say what she was told or taught. But I suspect she saw what the legions could do, albeit in a limited way, and presumed it was on account of different levels of mastery.”

  “So Aerin is right?” I asked. “The elves are less powerful than the drow?”

  “Not necessarily,” Ensley said. “The drow have almost no experience wielding elemental magic. They’ve studied it. They’ve captured elementals and channeled them into enchantments. But they haven’t wielded magic directly, not on anything close to the scale the elves on New Albion are accustomed to using in war.”

  “So I could learn a lot from Aerin and Layla both,” I said.

  “Of course,” Ensley said. “And do not underestimate the fairy magic I left within you.”

  “I’ve made a few portals,” I said. “Still, when I use it, it feels unwieldy. Like, I can’t be certain the portals I’m making are going to take me where I intend.”

  “That’s a problem with your confidence, Caspar, not the magic or your ability to wield it,” Ensley explained. “Why don’t we work with that a little first. Maybe, then, you’ll get a better grasp on how to wield the elements.”

  I nodded. “All right. What should I do?”

  “Well,” Ensley said. “I could possess you again and show you. Maybe if we do a few spells together, you’ll feel more confident performing them yourself.”

  “Sort of like using training wheels?” I asked.

  Ensley cocked his head. “I suppose that’s an appropriate analogy.”

  “All right,” I said. “Let's do this. But I’m in my underwear. If we’re going to port anywhere public, I need to put on some clothes.”

  Ensley giggled. “Well, I suppose you saw that prank coming from a mile away.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Planning to trick me into porting into the middle of the freeway in my skivvies?”

  “Actually,” Ensley said. “I was going to put you on the stage at one of the local drag clubs in the Tower Grove neighborhood.”

  I laughed. “Brilliant. You know, I think I’ll put on some pants anyway. You know, just in case.”

  “What?” Ensley asked. “Don’t you trust me?”

  I stared at him and shook my head. “In things that matter, sure. But when it comes to getting tricked? No, not even a little.”

  I snuck back into the bedroom, grabbed a pair of sweats, and quickly slipped them on. I was already wearing a t-shirt, so while I wasn’t in my best, I wouldn’t get myself charged with indecent exposure if Ensley redirected any of our portals.

  “All right, buddy. Let’s do this,” I said.

  Ensley nodded then, buzzing around me a few times, landed on my back, and with a brief, sharp pain, he dug himself into the back of my neck. Then a little tingle as he healed the wound after he entered.

  “Okay. I’m going to prime you with a little of my magic. All you need to do once you’re used to how it feels is bring it back to the forefront of your mind again. Do it a few times, and calling forth my magic will be as natural as moving an arm or a leg.”

  “Sounds good,” I said.

  I felt a warm tingle spread through my body.

  “Feel that?” Ensley asked.

  “I do,” I said.

  “Now think of a place you know well. A place you’re familiar with enough that you can visualize it clearly. You don’t want to accidentally port yourself into the middle of a wall or anything like that.”

  I nodded. I had to think of a place where I knew no one would be at this time of night. I visualized the sanctuary at the Church of the Holy Cross. Right in the middle of the chancel. “All right, I’ve got it.”

  “Now open the portal. Just visualize it in front of you. You’ve done this before.”

  I nodded and concentrated. A golden circle of magic appeared in front of me.

  “Good. Now step through it.”

  I stepped into the portal and, after a brief sensation that felt almost like my body was dematerializing, it solidified again.

  And I was standing exactly where I had visualized myself. The portal I just stepped through was still open behind me.

  “Awesome!” I said. “It worked!”

  “Now let's try again, but just move across the room. It’s the sort of thing you might want to do when you’re in the middle of a fight and you need to reposition yourself.”

  I nodded. I refocused. The portal behind me dissipated, and a new one formed in front of me. I jumped through it and reappeared at the opposite end of the aisle, near the exits.

  I laughed. “That was easier than I thought!”

  “Try it again. You need to do it enough that it’s a reflex. Until it feels natural.”

  I duplicated the portal I’d made before and reappeared in the chancel.

  Before Ensley could ask, I tried it again, appearing this time in the back row of pews.

  I tried to move and couldn’t. My butt was glued to the seat.

  “What the hell did I just do?” I asked.

  Ensley laughed from inside my mind. You made a portal a bit too close to an object. Half your butt is stuck in the wood of the pew.

  “Well, shit,” I said. “Can I get out without breaking this thing apart?”

  Of course, but this time you need to create a portal and pull it over your body.

  “How do I do that?” I asked.

  The same way you made the portal to begin with. These portals are part of you. Part of the magic within you. Just pull it in again as if it were an extension of your body.

  “Like moving an arm or a leg?” I asked.

  Exactly!

  My butt was starting to cramp, so I quickly formed another portal. Then, as weird as it felt, I pulled it toward me.

  Careful, Ensley said. You don’t want to take the pew with you.

  I nodded. The portal moved toward me as I tried to pull it in, but it was shaking a little—almost like my legs moved after doing a set of squats.

  I drew it into me slowly until I felt it barely envelop my butt cheeks. Then I pushed myself through the portal.

  I reappeared in the chancel.

  “You realize I’m not even channeling my magic to you now? You’re doing this on your own.”

  I laughed. “Wow, this is pretty awesome.”

  “Now we need to practice using water, but first, port yourself to a larger space. Somewhere it won’t matter if things get a little wet. Again, a place you can visualize.”

  I nodded. Forest Park was one option. I’d trained there with Brag’mok. But there were a lot of trees. I didn’
t want to repeat my butt-blunder with the pew. I needed something more open, a simpler place I could easily picture in my mind. Then it occurred to me. I knew the place would be empty at this hour, and going there would be awesome.

  “All right,” I said. “I’ve got the perfect spot in mind.”

  “Let's do it!”

  I formed another portal and jumped through it.

  My body materialized on the pitcher’s mound in Busch Stadium.

  Chapter Fourteen

  I cheered as I stood there, kicking at the dirt and looking around the stadium.

  “Wahhhzooo!” Ensley yelled.

  I laughed a little. “I have to admit, this is pretty fucking awesome. I’ve always wanted to stand here.”

  “I’m going to get out of your head. To work with water, you won’t need me, and it’ll probably be easier if I’m not in your head distracting you.”

  I nodded.

  Ensley popped out of the back of my neck. Lord, it hurt when he did that. Just for a second, though. He quickly healed me and buzzed around the mound, his green glow casting its light on the perfectly manicured infield.

  “The elemental is a part of you,” Ensley explained. “When you used fairy magic, it had a distinct flavor. A feel to it unlike anything else.”

  “It did,” I said, nodding.

  “Try to remember how it felt the moment the water elemental was bound to your spirit,” Ensley said. “You can use that sensation, that feeling, the same way you access fairy magic.”

  I remembered how it felt. It was like a refreshing, cool wave of energy had overwhelmed me. I didn’t think much about it at the time since I was more focused on surviving, but I could recall the sensation. It was unlike anything I’d ever felt.

  “I think I know the feeling,” I said. “I can just bring it back again?”

  “Of course you can,” Ensley said. “You just need to reach into your spirit and let it out.”

  I was surprised at how easy it was. Once I could identify the sensation, it was right there. Hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t felt it, but Ensley was right; it was part of me. Not just my body. It was part of my spirit.

  “I’ve got it!” I exclaimed.