Before I Fell

by Brandy Greeley

  “Unusual evening attire.”

  “Nightgowns ride up and get bunched around me because I toss and turn so much, and I’ve never been one to sleep in the nude.”

  “Too bad,” he said, pouring himself a glass of water from a side table. “About the nude sleeping, I mean. That could’ve been fun to wake up next to.”

  “You’re not serious about spending the night here…with me.”

  “Why not? We weren’t done with our…discussion.”

  “Oh yes, we were,” I said, sinking onto the couch, stretching out my legs so he was forced to take the seat opposite. “I’m not so easily seduced.”

  “You’re looking at this entirely the wrong way,” he said, propping his arms on his knees. “We’re two consenting adults who happen to like each other. Besides, you and I-together-was sanctioned by the Fates, and they never make a mistake.”

  “Gee, I feel so special now,” I said sarcastically, closing my eyes as Bailey jumped up on my lap, circling a few times before curling herself into a ball.

  “It’s said that long ago, we each were comprised of two people living as one. But the different personalities warred with each other constantly, so the Fates separated us into two living, breathing beings, and scattered the other half of ourselves across the galaxy so that when we found that other half that made us whole again, we would recognize them, and become one again.”

  “And you think that I’m that other half?”

  “You’re the mortal equivalent of myself, both in terms of your gifts and some of your more colorful attributes. Do you have another explanation?”

  “I’d rather not think that our lives are ruled by fate alone. It’s an archaic way of viewing the world because it means that every action-every feeling or thought we have, has already been predetermined as part of a larger picture. Where’s the fun in that? I’d rather be wildly unpredictable, and live life on my terms.”

  “That’s what I love so much about you,” he said softly and I glanced up to see him hovering above me, eyes practically glowing in the partial gloom. “You never do or say what I expect you’re going to. It’s refreshing. Exciting, even.” He set his glass down on the coffee table, wandering over to the bed before stripping to his white cotton undershirt and briefs and I sat up straight, glancing from him to his pile of clothes and back again.

  “This isn’t your room, Hades.”

  “I’m well aware of that, love. But it’s getting late, and we still have things to go over.”

  He slid under the covers and I hesitated a minute, staring into the fire as flames licked along the logs, devouring them in a charbroiled path of destruction. That was his power, and it came as naturally to him as breathing, but what use could I possibly have in his life other than being able to communicate with the spirit world? That wasn’t a good enough reason to keep me around, and he knew it. So, why? I was his soulmate-great-but as far as partners were concerned, I was reluctant at worst and hesitant at best. I knew the ramifications if I chose him like he was trying to choose me, but what if Persephone never came home? What if she stayed in Portland for the rest of eternity? Wasn’t I allowed to be happy at the same time? And if I found that happiness with Hades, would she forgive me for it? She didn’t choose this life, after all.

  “You’re not allowed to bring work into the bedroom,” I said as I joined him, abandoning my slippers as I snuggled down into the mattress. “This is my sanctuary, and I’ve fought hard to keep it a soul-free environment.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it,” he replied, fighting a smile as I reached for my Kindle.

  “So, what did you want to talk about?”

  “Us.”

  Of course.

  “Hades, I don’t have anything else I want to say on the subject,” I said, finding my book.

  “I understand why you’re fighting the way you feel about me, but you don’t have to pretend, Emma. Not around me. I’ve made my intentions known, but this won’t work if you’re not willing.”

  “And what about Persephone, huh?” I said, turning to him. “What if your efforts to get her back here actually work? What then?”

  “We’ll figure that out when it happens.”

  “She’s your wife, Hades.”

  “Who is currently living happily in Portland, reluctantly helping me sort the souls. There’s no guarantee that she’ll break the curse and even if she does, she might not want me again.”

  I opened my mouth to protest but he stopped me, finger to my lips. “Emma. You of all people know how much she means to me, but I’m tired of denying the way I feel when I’m around you. Even if it doesn’t last forever, don’t you want to know what I can offer you? What we can be together?”

  Yes, I want that more than anything.

  He tossed his shirt over his head, rolling over on his side in the process and I gasped, reaching a tentative finger out towards his back. Crisscrossing slashes formed an angry red pattern up and down his spine and as I touched him, I felt him jerk in response.

  “When…how…”

  It took him a while to respond, and I could feel the anxiety in the air when he did.

  “This job doesn’t come without a certain level of danger. The souls aren’t always happy about their destinations, and they’re more powerful than I sometimes give them credit for, even dead.”

  “Do the Fates know?”

  “That I’m routinely attacked by angry spirits? Of course, though I doubt they care, as long as the job gets done.”

  “So, if I had still had my gifts, that could eventually be me, too…?”

  He twisted towards me in one blindingly fast motion, taking my face in his hands again, eyes burning bright, like an opal in sunlight.

  “Never. I will never ever let that happen to you, do you understand me?”

  I nodded, shrinking away from the intensity of his glare and he bent down to kiss me roughly, pushing me into the oblivion of the mattress and I followed, tossing my Kindle to the nightstand as I wrapped my arms around him. His hand traveled up and under my sweatpants, tickling the inside of my thigs until I parted them for him and he paused, fingers inches from me.

  “Do you want this?”

  “Hades…”

  “Tell me, Emma. If the answer is ‘no’, I’ll stop, I swear it. Tell me what you want.”

  What did I want?

  I wanted to rewind time and ignore him in the park, to say ‘no’ when Persephone asked me to work for them and bring my own goddamned food down here, so I didn’t have to eat theirs, becoming unwillingly trapped in the process.

  That wasn’t the question, Emma.

  If I told him the truth-the whole truth-it might shatter me from the inside out because what I wanted was dangerous for us both. But so was denying the way I felt about him all the time. The ball was in my court now, and for better or worse, my decisions going forward tonight might permanently alter the course of our lives.

  So, what did I want to do?

  This is only a pretense, Emma. You know what you want. Just say it. Say it!

  “All-all of you. I want all of you.”

  He smiled, reaching up to tuck a curl behind my ear. “Done.”

  Chapter Eleven

  I heard the birds before the alarm and turned over, tucking the sheet around my body as Hades ran a fingertip from my shoulder to my hip and back again.

  “Were you watching me sleep?”

  “Maybe a little,” he said, grabbing my hand and kissing the inside of my wrist as I smiled, resting my head under his chin. “I have to get to the docks soon.”

  “Does this change anything between us?”

  He slid out of bed, reaching for his clothes. “Everything, but I don’t want to talk about it right this second.”

  “When, then?”

  He glanced up at me as he buckled his pants. “Have dinner with me tonight.”

  “Promise you’ll make it?”

  He leaned over, pressing a tender kiss to my lips. “Have I ever
broken a promise to you before? I’ll have the cook make your favorite.”

  “You’re half-dressed!” I yelled at his back as he sauntered from the room, a white button-up shirt slung casually across one shoulder. “Fine! But if you get sick, don’t come crying to me about it!”

  “Hello?”

  I jumped, whirling towards the bathroom. A little girl stepped into view, purple dress dirty and tattered.

  “How did you get in my room?”

  “Umm…” She glanced around, twisting her hands together. “I was playing with my brother when the ball bounced into the street. I chased it, but there was a car coming and-”

  “So you’re dead?”

  She started to sob, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes and I kicked myself for the moment of insensitivity. That’s the last thing I’d want to hear as a freshly made soul.

  How is this possible?

  I stepped towards her. “I’m sorry that came out wrong. I’m Emma. What’s your name?”

  She sniffed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “Kiera.”

  “Well, Kiera, I want you to think about that moment in the street and, when you’re ready, just focus on it with everything you have, alright?”

  “What happens then?”

  “You’ll go someplace where you’ll be safe.”

  “Will you go there with me?”

  I hesitated, torn. No soul had ever asked me that before and, to be honest, I wasn’t even sure that I could.

  She’s so young and scared. If I were in her shoes, I’d want help, too.

  “Okay, but when we get there, I can’t stay. Do you understand?”

  She nodded, taking my hand in hers and I squared my shoulders, trying to act like I knew what I was doing when in reality, I felt just as nervous as she probably was. We reached the bottom of the staircase, walking through the throne room to a side hallway, dotted occasionally by torches which threw wicked-looking shadows over the walls and ceiling. Kitchen on the right, office on the left, hall closet, servant quarters…I was beginning to think that maybe I’d gone the wrong way when the hallway opened onto a massive wine cellar, and at the far end, situated between two towers of casks, was a set of double doors.

  “Okay, remember what I told you,” I said, squeezing the girl’s hand. “Once we go through those doors, I’ll need to leave again, but don’t worry because you’ll be well taken care of.”

  Another nod.

  The handle felt warm to the touch and I took a deep breath, pushed it open, and came to a screeching halt.

  Two massive lines of people wound down a black sand beach, ending in two equally large wooden docks which creaked and groaned underfoot. I’d seen this place only once before, but from above, and up close, it was so much bigger than I could’ve imagined.

  And between the two lines, tablet in hand-

  “Hades!”

  Several souls turned to glance at me as I made my way through them, clutching Kiera’s hand and saw Hades frown, approaching me as the crowd became agitated, jostling us from side to side.

  “Who is this?” He gestured to Kiera, and I pushed her forward.

  “M-my name is Kiera Harrington.”

  He scanned the lists, gazing from her to me and back again. “She’s here. Do you see this line?” He indicated the row to his right, and she nodded. “I want you to go to the very end and wait until I call your name. Can you do that for me?”

  She nodded, walking away and Hades grabbed my arm, steering me to the side.

  “What are you doing here, Emma?”

  “She found me in my bedroom after you left and asked me to bring her here because she was scared to go alone.”

  “You shouldn’t be able to see her at all, remember?”

  I broke free, irritated. “I don’t know how it happened, just that it did, and don’t you dare use that condescending tone on me, or I’ll break your kneecaps.”

  His nostrils flared at the threat as he tucked his tablet into his coat pocket, walking back down the beach. “And everyone here? Can you see them, too?”

  “Yes, of course. You’re ugly and your breath smells like rotting fish,” I said as a man leaned close to me, nose skimming my throat and Hades surged forward, lifting him off his feet, lips curling over his teeth.

  “Touch her again, and there won’t be enough left of your soul to put on a boat.” He tossed him to the ground before turning to me again. “This is bad, Emma. You need to start training again, and soon, because you can’t afford to create another Fury.”

  “I don’t know how this happened in the first place. I mean, the only thing that changed between yesterday and today was that I…we…oh.”

  “The Fates acknowledged our union,” he said, a hint of wonder in his voice. “When you accepted me, you unknowingly accepted your gifts, too. We’ll start your training tomorrow.”

  “And who’s going to do it? You? You don’t have that kind of time, not with the constant back and forth trips to Portland.”

  “I’ll make time because this is more important than-”

  “Your wife?”

  He glared at me. “Than the hassle of cleaning up your messes.”

  Ouch.

  He checked himself, reaching out a hand to me. “Emma, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

  “No, no, I know what you were trying to say, and it still makes me angry. You know, if this is such a burden to you, maybe it’s time that I take Bailey and go home for a while-be around other humans.”

  He stroked a finger along his lower lip. “That’s not a bad idea, actually. Especially if you lay low and ignore the spirits so they don’t know that you can help them again. How long?”

  “A few months, I think. My savings is running perilously close to empty, so I thought that it might be time to find a job.”

  “A job?”

  I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, tapping a foot in irritation. “Yeah, you know, something mortals do to earn money? Telecommute, of course, if that’s possible.”

  “What about your novel?”

  “I won’t finish it until Persephone comes home, and since that’s likely to be a while, I need something that’ll supplement my lifestyle in the meantime.”

  “Or you could just ask me for money, seeing as that’s one thing I’m not lacking in.”

  I shook my head, backing away from him. “I’m not dipping into the Bank of Hades because our relationship status shifted.”

  “You don’t have to live like a poor person. You have a powerful connect-”

  “And I don’t need charity-from you or anyone else. Can I leave now, or are you going to grill me some more?”

  “The time frame you proposed isn’t acceptable. What about a week?”

  “Are you serious? I’m pretty sure that you can live without me for longer than that.”

  “Two weeks?”

  My gaze turned steely as I crossed my arms over my chest. “Three months.”

  “One.”

  “You’re really trying to boss me around right now? Three, or I’ll have your brothers smash your brains in. They’d do it, too, for me.”

  “Milord?” A man approached, bowing low to Hades. “The boats will be here shortly, and more souls arrive every minute.”

  Hades’ eyes gleamed in the partial gloom, conflicting emotions chasing their way across his face.

  “Go, you know where I’ll be if you need me,” I said as his scowl deepened.

  “Be careful, please.”

  “I think you need to trust me and relax a bit.”

  “That’s not possible for me.”

  “Clearly.”

  “Milord?”

  “Yes, yes, I’m coming,” he said to the man who bowed again and scuttled away. “You’ll find Hermes in the library.” He turned away from me, following his servant back to the head of the two columns, hands clenched into fists at his sides.

  I practically float to my room, gathering my things together before scooping Baile
y up, pressing her against my chest. “Time to go home, little girl.”

  Hermes sat in a high-backed leather chair, thick volume in his lap as he popped the wings in and out of his golden sandals.

  “Is this a bad time?”

  He glanced up, smiling gaily. “Not at all! To what do I owe this honor?” His eyes wandered down to the suitcase and kennel.

  “I need a lift to Portland if it’s not inconvenient for you.”

  “For my favorite human? Never. How long will you be gone, so I know when to fetch you again?”

  “A few months. I have some things I need to take care of back home.”

  His smile faded on his lips. “Does Hades know?”

  “Yeah, though he’s not entirely thrilled about it, so the sooner we leave, the less chance he’ll have to change his mi-”

  “Emma.”

  I sighed and whirled around, plunking my stuff on the hardwood floor as Hades surged forward, wrapping me in his arms before crushing his mouth to mine. He cradled the back of my head in one hand, tangling his fingers in my hair.

  “I think I have somewhere else I need to be,” Hermes said, exiting quickly.

  “Hades, I’m going home,” I said, gesturing to my luggage and he shook his head, a hard glint in his eyes.

  “Not yet.” He backed us up against the bookshelf, pressing kisses up and down my throat as books rained down around us. “Don’t leave me.”

  “Hades, this isn’t forever, and I need this, so please don’t make it more complicated for me than it needs to be.”

  “The souls could overwhelm you again.”

  “It’s a possibility, but if they do, I’ll handle it. Let me go, or I’ll resent you for it.”

  A muscle ticked in his jaw as he held me close a moment longer before leaving, snapping his fingers, and the spilled books returned to their places.

  Hermes peeked his head in, smiled timidly. “Are you ready to leave now?”

  I nodded and he poofed us to my apartment, letting Bailey out of her kennel as she ran around the room.

  “Thank you for doing this,” I said, laying keys and phone on the entryway table. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready to come back.”