Before I Fell

by Brandy Greeley

  There was no future for me anymore in the Underworld, and that truth roiled and pitched its way through my gut. I didn’t belong here and the longer I remained his useless guest, pent up for my protection against Furies I could no longer create, the more I felt my old life slipping away. I wanted adventure-to see more of the world outside of Portland and the realm of the dead.

  I snigged the bedroom door shut, leaning my head against the cool wood. I got myself into this mess when I agreed to come here and now, I was getting myself out of it again.

  “Your intentions are honorable, but you ate the pomegranate. You’re still tied to this place, and the lord who presides over it, until he releases you and really, I don’t see that happening anytime soon.”

  Poseidon was sprawled across a chaise lounge, a ball of crystal-clear water suspended between his outstretched hands and I paused, dropping the sides of my dress.

  “It’s funny how you pretend to care about what happens to me, but we both know it’s not true.”

  “I have a vested interest in making that git’s life as difficult as possible and, well, seeing how miserable you are here gives me a …idea.”

  “What are you talking abo-”

  He chucked the ball of water straight at my head and I gasped and sputtered as it enveloped my body like a second skin. I clawed at my face, trying to strip the water away from my mouth, but it was no use. It was like I was trapped inside an airless, soundproof cocoon and my lungs struggled to draw enough breath as desperation quickly grew to terror.

  Poseidon smiled, standing. “That’s perfect. Let’s go. Care for a little swim?” He asked as he grabbed me around the waist, transporting us to a gigantic glass-encased room. In the middle, stretching nearly the length of two football fields, sat a blue-green lake, as wide as it was long and teeming with marine life. I balked and tried to run away, but his grip tightened, lips pressed to my hair.

  “I would say ‘hold your breath’, but I already did that part for you.”

  He dove us headfirst into the bitterly cold water and I squeezed my eyes shut, pressure like a ton of bricks smacking into my chest as he torpedoed us downwards, much further than the stupid indoor lake should’ve allowed. Even with my eyes closed, I could tell it was pitch black like someone pulled a blanket over my head, and I tried to kick myself free again, to no avail.

  “Be still; we’re almost there.”

  My ears were plugging and popping in rapid-fire succession, the pain and relief combination almost too much to bear. My head throbbed from lack of oxygen, and I could feel consciousness slipping. It reached a pinnacle seconds before my feet slammed onto a hard surface, body crumpling to the ground and he held onto me, guiding me gently into a flat position. The water bubble dissipated and I greedily gulped in the fresh air, taking in my surroundings.

  The ceiling above us was all light blue mosaic tile, reflecting occasional flashes of light outside the floor to roof picture windows and I frowned, pressing a hand to my head as the dizziness slowly subsided.

  “Where are we?” My voice sounded like I’d been screaming for hours.

  “Welcome to Atlantia. My home.”

  Chapter Ten

  Atlantia

  “When are you taking me back to the Underworld?”

  Poseidon glanced up from his coffee as I stormed into the dining room. “Good morning to you, too.”

  “Don’t play coy with me, fish breath. Whatever your diabolical plan is, Hades will figure it out. It’s up to you if you’d rather me tell him to kill you on the spot or wait to hear your explanation.”

  His lips twitched. “I was under the impression that you never wanted to return.”

  “Oh, so it’s better being your prisoner?”

  “You’re not my prisoner, Emma. I thought I’ve made that abundantly clear.”

  “Political captive, then. I’m here to prove a point, right?”

  He leaned back in his chair, intrigued. “And what point would that be?”

  “That you can take what belongs to Hades anytime you goddamned please.”

  “Maybe I just enjoy the pleasure of your company.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Sit, please,” he said, gesturing to the chair next to him, and I hesitated a moment before joining him, eyeing him warily.

  He gathered his dreads into a low ponytail, unfolding his newspaper. “Have I treated you like a prisoner since you arrived last night? Did I not put you up in a most lavish suite, order a hot bubble bath for you and give you unfettered access to my minibar?”

  I flinched, buttering a piece of toast. “You wanted to join me in that stupid bathtub.”

  He smirked. “Can you blame a guy for trying?”

  “Yes, I can, because it was frustrating. Why are you trying so hard to seduce me anyways? I can’t be your type.”

  “I have a type?”

  “Of course you do. She’s probably athletic, snarky and completely full of herself, based on what I’ve learned about you.”

  He laughed, spearing some fruit on the end of his fork. “I’ve been wondering how Hades managed to break through your tough outer shell since it’s obvious that his fire and humor doesn’t come close to equaling yours.”

  I shrugged, nonplussed. “He was incredibly aloof and didn’t try to sleep with me every chance he got.”

  “His loss.”

  “Okay,” I said, carefully laying my knife across my plate so I couldn’t do something more drastic with it, like stab his eyes out. “Other people say things like that and it sounds sweet. You say it, and it’s creepy and self-gratifying. Do you want to know the real reason why I keep coming back to the Underworld, month after month? Not because I’m contractually obligated to, because you know I could talk my way out of Hell-but because he tries to make me a better person. He protects me and in return, I work with him.”

  Until recently, that backstabbing bastard.

  “Don’t you mean for him?”

  “No. I can leave whenever I want, as long as I return when he calls me back-oh.”

  Poseidon smiled at me pityingly. “You’re not free, Emma, even if you think you are. Hades keeps you on a short leash for his benefit and as long as you continue to help him with the souls, you’re his property. Afterward, he’ll discard you and move on.”

  I bit my lip, eyes downcast. Wasn’t taking away my gifts his attempt to keep me with him? And as long as I was still biographing his life with Persephone, he had a valid reason for wanting me in the Underworld, where all the action was.

  So, why did it feel like his words were stabbing me in the stomach?

  “EMMA!”

  BOOM!

  The doors of the dining room smashed to bits and I jumped to my feet as Hades barreled his way in, wild eyes scanning the room until they found me, cowering behind my chair.

  Poseidon, for his part, looked vaguely bored as he poured himself another cup of coffee. “Hades. How nice to see you again. Come on in, and by all means, destroy my home.”

  “Release her.”

  “Oh, she’s free to leave, if she wants to.”

  Hades stepped into the room and stopped again, hesitant. “What game are you playing at, brother? You stole her from me, and now you’d let her go, just like that?”

  Poseidon shrugged, popping a grape into his mouth. “I’ve said everything I wanted to and after our little chat, I wouldn’t say ‘no’ if she chose to stay here with me forever. But I’ll grant her the choice to do what she wants, unlike you.”

  “What did you say to her?” His voice, like gravel in a dryer, bounced around the room and I flinched again, grateful that I wasn’t at the end of his unchecked anger.

  “The truth.”

  “Enough.” I pushed the chair aside, slipping my hand in Hades’ as Poseidon watched the interaction, lips pursed. “Please take me back to Portland. And if you,” I said to Poseidon, who lifted an eyebrow in challenge, “ever kidnap me again, I’ll make you wish you were dead.”

 
He inclined his head to me. “I await your pleasure.”

  “Let’s go.” Hades pulled me close, tucking my head under his chin as the world spun.

  “I said Portland, Hades!” I stomped my foot angrily against the floor as he moved around my room, throwing a ball of flame at the fireplace, which crackled and popped to life.

  “I heard you the first two times, but it’s not happening.”

  “Why are you being so frustrating? I don’t want to be here!”

  He whirled on me, eyes tense. “After you abandoned the party, I came up here to check on you, and when I couldn’t find you anywhere, I tore the castle apart looking. I went to Portland, thinking maybe you’d run into Hermes and convinced him to take you back, but your apartment was empty, too. It drove me insane, Emma. I ran through a thousand scenarios in my head, including death at the hands of a goddamned Fury. Don’t push me right now.”

  “Do you understand why I left the party in the first place?”

  “No, I don’t. Care to elaborate?”

  This was the angriest I’d ever seen him. I thought that it might’ve been a close call in the past, but those moments couldn’t hold a candle to Hades now, glaring back at me, pain and deep frustration evident.

  His nostrils flared as I stared him down.

  “You knew we were soulmates from the moment I first came to the Underworld, and you said nothing. You let me think that I was crazy for having these feelings for you that I couldn’t explain. And you shot me down at every turn-kept me in the dark when I could’ve maybe helped you get through the initial pain of losing her, because I lost her, too. You took away my gifts because you cared enough about me to save my life, but the second you knew that I knew about our connection, you shut me out…again. I can’t live like this, Hades. I’ll finish the book for you because I said I would, but then I’m going to Portland and never coming back here.”

  “No.” He shook his head, reaching for me as I backed away from him. “What do I need to do to get you to choose to stay?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Name your price, Emma, and I swear I’ll pay it.”

  I laughed aloud, crossing the room to grab my suitcase from beneath the bed. “You still don’t get it, do you? I can’t be yours-I won’t-because Persephone is a good person, and she doesn’t deserve that.”

  “You’re tied to the Underworld and to me, and you can’t leave unless I allow it. You’re not going anywhere, Emma.” He ripped the bag from my hands, pushing me towards the bed until my legs brushed the smooth wooden frame as I brought my hands up between us, trying to create a little space to think.

  “I’d give anything to go back to that night and smack the goddamned pomegranate out of your hand.”

  “You ate the whole thing before I could stop you. Half would’ve been more than sufficient.”

  I glowered back at him as his hand whispered across my hair.

  “I was starving, and that spirit hoard took a lot out of me. When you offered it to me, I didn’t think twice about what it meant, but I wouldn’t have touched it at all if I’d known.”

  “That was the point, Emma. The second the connection snapped into place, I knew I had to keep you around, make sure you couldn’t abandon us after the book was written. I’m sorry that I had to trick you, but this is for the best.”

  “For you, maybe, but not for me.” I shoved against his chest but he remained immovable, like a hunk of stone. “I can’t help you anymore, even if I wanted to stay here, so why are you making life so complicated? Let me go and move on.”

  He reached up to frame my face in his hands, stroking a path along my jawline, and I tried not to let him see my lip trembling ever so slightly in response to his touch.

  “Persephone doesn’t understand what it’s like to constantly be at the mercy of the spirit world, but you do. If I’d found you before-”

  “Stop talking before you say something you’ll regret,” I said, eyes flicking back and forth between my bag and the door, thinking maybe there was still a chance I could escape, find Hermes and beg him to poof me home before Hades could catch me again. This new intensity was confusing, and startling, and I didn’t know what to think as his gaze bore holes through my skull. “You love her, remember?”

  “And I also love you,” he said, hugging me closer to him. “It’s not because we’re meant to be together, but because you challenge me in ways no one else ever has. You’re unpredictable, funny and smarter than I think you sometimes give yourself credit for. You’re the light to my darkness, Emma, and the Underworld needs both to function. I need both.”

  “Persephone is that light for you, I know she is. For crying out loud, she’s the goddess of Spring. I can’t compete with that.”

  “Don’t you understand?” he asked, cupping my chin in his hand. “There were consequences for kidnapping her and forcing her to live here. Our union was unnatural-not meant to be-and had I waited…if I hadn’t been so lonely for so long and thought she would fill that emptiness, I would’ve found you first.”

  “But you didn’t,” I argued, trying to push my way out of his arms when he held tight. “You can’t erase all that history between the two of you, even if she’s in the arms of another man now. It’s not fair to her.”

  “Emma,” he groaned lips in my hair. “Can you, just this once, think about what you really want instead of trying to make everyone else happy?”

  “Because I don’t know what that is!”

  He snorted, pushing my hair aside to nuzzle my neck. “I think I can help with that.” His lips fluttered over mine and I tensed, not sure whether to push him away or pull him closer. Sensations, like a thousand fighting fireflies, rippled through my body and he groaned, deepening the kiss as I cracked and melted into his embrace.

  Oh, what the hell right? You know you wanted this to happen, despite his inevitable reaction to your-

  “Present!” I yanked myself away, scrambling to the other side of the bed as he fell forward, bracing his arms on the duvet.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “I gave you a present at the party, remember? You should open it.”

  He smiled, walking towards me with that panther-like grace of his as I pressed myself against the far wall. “Later.” He reached out a hand to touch me again and I side-stepped the advance.

  “Not later. Now…for me.”

  He sighed, sinking to the edge of the bed and fishing around in his coat pocket as I slowly inched my way towards the fireplace.

  “It’s lotion. Cinnamon-scented lotion. Emma, this is nice and all but I’m not really into this kind of-”

  “Look at the label again.”

  I rolled a couple of shirts up in a maxi dress, slipping them between my laptop and stack of books as he read aloud.

  “’Rub to warm, blow to cool, this his and hers lotion from SenseY is sure to add a little heat to even the coldest of days. Do not ingest.’”

  He glanced up at me questioningly as my cheeks flushed crimson.

  “I thought that you could use it when Persephone returned, to incite affections.”

  “But, why would you-”

  “I know that as soon as she comes back-whenever that is-any feeling you have about me now, no matter how strong, won’t matter, because she’ll be here, and I’ll be long gone. This was my way of saying that I get it-no hard feelings.”

  He stood slowly, turning it over and over in his hands. “You’re dead-set on leaving, then?”

  “Yes, because there’s nothing for me here, as we’ve been over several times now.”

  “Except me, of course.”

  “I’m not trying to prickle your pride, okay? You’ve made your feelings known, and I still need space. It’s not personal.”

  “There’s another option here, you know.”

  I tip-toed my way to the door, closing my hand around the smooth metal knob.

  Almost there.

  “What’s that?”

  If I run as fast as I can toward
s the ballroom, without tripping over my dress and bleeding out on the tile, I’m sure I’ll find someone who’d be willing to help me leave, since it’s obvious he’s not going to be any help whatsoever.

  “We could just use this now.”

  His words didn’t sink into my plan-obsessed brain until too late. I gasped as his hand closed around my upper arm, my bag dropping to the floor in a loud thwack, and I cringed, sincerely hoping my computer was okay. He cradled my head in one hand again, tongue shoving its way past my teeth.

  “This is a bad idea,” I said when he let me up for air and he danced us backward, spinning me around as he fumbled with the lid of the bottle.

  “I know you don’t really think that, or you wouldn’t let me do this,” he said, reaching out to unzip the back of my dress, letting the satin material gape open as he ran a single fingertip up and down my spine. I shivered violently, leaning forward to grip one of the bedposts.

  “That was just mean, Hades, because your finger is freezing. Thanks for doing what a coat hanger and five frustrating minutes would’ve done, but you need to turn around now.”

  “So you can bolt the second my back is turned? I’m not that stupid, Emma.” He reached out again, tickling a path across my stomach and I leaped away from him, hugging the front of my dress to me.

  “My pajamas are across the room, and if I tried to go there with my clothes the way they are, I’ll trip over the material and die which means that I need to drop and dash.”

  “This is entirely unnecessary,” he muttered to himself, turning. “I didn’t come here for a slumber party.”

  “Yeah, well, that’s all you’re getting so get used to it.” I waited until I was sure he couldn’t see me before stripping, racing to the partition. I heard him walking casually towards me as I shrugged into sweatpants and a short-sleeved t-shirt, pulling my hair up into a ponytail.

  He smiled when he saw me slide my feet into a pair of bunny slippers, padding silently to the fireplace.