Before I Fell

by Brandy Greeley

  “I’ve had enough brushes with death to last a lifetime, thank you very much, so yes, I agree.”

  “And do you swear that you’ll check in with me at least once a day?”

  “Ohmygod bye,” I groaned, flicking my hand his direction and he disappeared as Hermes and Poseidon shot me startled glances. “What? He was getting on my last damn nerve.”

  “Is that a…” Hermes cleared his throat. “New ability?”

  I frowned, propping my hands on my hip. “What are you talking about? Isn’t it just like regular poofing?”

  Poseidon laughed out loud as Hermes shook his head. “That’s not part of it, Emma. What you just did was unique.”

  What the hell, Emma?

  Hades’ voice crackled through my mind and I winced at the force of it, fingernails biting into the palms of my hands.

  “I don’t see how different it is to what I can already do.”

  “It takes an extraordinary amount of will and focused energy to send someone someplace else without even touching them,” Hermes said, stepping forward. “Not even Hades himself could master it.”

  “But if he’s my soulmate, doesn’t it make sense that I’d have some gifts he doesn’t, to counter the things I can’t do that he can? Two halves of one whole, right?” I tried to brush past Poseidon, who grabbed my arm, yanking me back.

  “You’re human.”

  “Thanks for rubbing that into my face, again. Do I need to walk around here with a neon sign on my back that reads ‘This is Emma, and she’s human’? It’s a fact that I’m not likely to forget.”

  “Your gifts are goddess-given, but they shouldn’t be progressing. That’s not possible unless you were immortal.”

  “If you haven’t realized by now,” I said, testing his grip, “There are a lot of things that shouldn’t be happening, shouldn’t be progressing and shouldn’t be possible. So, unless this ability somehow threatens my life, I need to pee and sleep. Big day tomorrow sorting souls, remember? Be at the docks by eight a.m. sharp.” I brushed off his hand, walking out of the greenhouse as I heard the whispers follow me out.

  “You’re late.” I pulled my jacket around my shoulders as the salty ocean breeze whipped strands of hair across my face, souls shifting restlessly in front of me. Hermes kicked at a sandbank and Poseidon smiled, trident gleaming gold and bronze in the early morning light.

  “There was some discussion after you left last night about whether or not it was a good idea to help you after your little display of power.”

  “And yet, you’re both here.” I gazed down at the tablet as more souls joined the line though, compared with other mornings, the load today was light.

  “Thank Hermes for it,” Poseidon said. “I was in favor of letting you drown,” he said, smiling. “Metaphorically speaking, of course. You’re becoming more powerful every day, which makes both of us a little leery. Hades’ gifts are impressive, mind, but you’re poised to become something else entirely.”

  “You control the oceans, tides, storms and all marine life within each, and you’re worried about me having the ability to poof people places whenever I feel like it? I thought you’d be giddy at the prospect.”

  The first boat approached the dock, water churning and frothing in its wake and I glanced from it to the lines and back again, tapping my foot impatiently as Hermes leaned against a salt-flecked boulder, inspecting his fingernails.

  “Did you agree to be Hades’?”

  I bristled at Hermes’ casual tone. “That’s none of your goddamned business,” I said, motioning the first soul forward. “Meghan Barns, Elysium. I don’t see the point in asking me that in the first place, other than to be a nosy git, as usual,” I continued as Horace helped her onto the dock.

  “If you had, it would explain why your gifts were suddenly heightened to reflect the change in status. Watch it,” Poseidon hissed, flashing his weapon at a soul who careened into him, half-crawling his way towards the line for Tartarus.

  “I don’t feel it’s necessary to answer that inane question. I’m here, that's all that should matter. Thomas Cinna, Tartarus.”

  “So, it doesn’t matter to you that you banished your boyfriend without a second thought?”

  “If my boyfriend trusted me a little more, I wouldn’t have had to do that in the first place. As long as he’s in Greece, far away from here, I can do what I need to without interference on his part, which is a good thing. And we can’t be anything else until he deals with his feelings for Persephone. Daphne Clark, Elysium.”

  “He knows how he feels about you, or he’d be back here right now, making your life Hell for sending him away. The fact that he’s leaving you alone at all says a lot,” Hermes said pointedly.

  “Are the two of you going to help, or just stand here, talking my ear off?”

  “We’re keeping you company,” Poseidon said, sending a stream of white-hot light towards the sand, which burst to life in a brilliant display of gritty, crystalline glass spikes. “You’re doing just fine, by the way, not that I had any doubt about it.”

  “So, Hades was right, and you guys really are nothing more than distractions.”

  “If we hadn’t told Fiery Britches that we’d help you, he’d be here now in all his emo glory, and whether or not you accepted him, he needs to learn to treat you as his equal, not just some woman he’s banging in exchange for assistance with the souls.”

  “Finnick Day, Elysium. You know,” I said, turning towards Poseidon thoughtfully. “You can be a right haughty bastard most of the time, but once in a while, you completely surprise me. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you actually cared about me.”

  He smiled. “I won’t tell you that you’re like a little sister to me, or that your presence here makes the Underworld a more pleasant place to be because that’s all mushy stuff, but-”

  “Emma!” Hermes’ urgent voice cut through the conversation and I whirled around, stomach jumping into my throat when I saw the Tartarus dock, teeming with freshly sorted souls, all of whom shoved and punched each other, scrambling out of the boats. Jasper fought back, unfurling a long golden whip from his belt, but it didn’t matter because the dock was already creaking and groaning under the constant back-and-forth shift of hundreds of feet. With a giant SNAP, the boards broke, plummeting everyone down into the River Styx.

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Son of a bitch!” I thrust the tablet into Poseidon’s hands, racing across the beach. Souls emerged from the waves, sputtering and stumbling their way to dry land and I felt my face go beet red and ash white in the span of a minute as the implications hit me.

  “Emma-”

  “No, don’t say a goddamned word,” I warned Hermes as he pressed his lips together into a disapproving scowl.

  What the hell was I supposed to do now?

  “The souls can’t progress to their intended destinations anymore because of-”

  “I know what the River Styx does.”

  “And without a dock to sort them, everyone else will-”

  “What do you want me to do about it? Tell them ‘sorry, you can’t die today, come back later’? Hundreds of souls just became trapped between the land of the living and the dead forever, many of whom might possibly turn into evil, immortal Furies.”

  “We need Hades here, Emma.”

  “No! I said that I could do this, dang it!”

  He grabbed my arm, yanking me back. “And this is beyond your control. Call him.”

  “No need.” Hades appeared, walking towards us across the black sand beach and I felt my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth.

  “Hades, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what-”

  He held up a hand to silence me, surveying the damage. “What happened?” He asked Jasper, who stepped forward.

  “Milord, I’m sorry but the dock couldn’t handle the weight of all those extra souls, and when they started fighting, it just collapsed.”

  I refuse to feel guilty about this. Docks must coll
apse all the time.

  “We can still utilize the Elysium dock, as they’re far less likely to cause a scene. Horace, please make sure the Elysium line gets to where they need to be. If nothing else, that’ll make this unfortunate situation a little better.”

  “What then, milord?” Horace asked as I accepted the tablet from Poseidon, sidling to the head of the line.

  “I’m still figuring that part out. Emma?” Hades gestured at me to continue and I cleared my throat, though it was a nervous sort of sound and didn’t do anything to calm my rattled nerves.

  “Casper Delacruz.”

  One by one, the souls disappeared onto a boat and as the line dwindled, I felt the tightness in my chest ease slightly. We’d figure this out, one way or another, though I wish I could clearly see the direction it might take, if nothing else than to squash the guilt currently coursing its way through me.

  “Emma, I need you to go back to the castle,” Hades said as I called out the last name and I frowned, pocketing the device.

  “I can’t do that until all the souls are sorted and, last time I checked, that hasn’t happened yet.”

  “The only way we’re going to get rid of the Tartarus group now is by calling Kronos here himself. It’s bound to be messy, but he can take them without a boat, and you can’t be seen by him.”

  “Are you trying to be funny? You want to willingly invite your diabolical father straight into your home?”

  “Do you have another idea?” He countered, stalking me as I paced back and forth across the beach.

  “Do I need to remind you what he almost did the last time he was here? What he still wants to do?”

  “Which is why I need you out of sight and as far away from here as possible as I attempt to clear up your mess.”

  Ouch.

  I backed away from him, eyes wide and he checked himself, reaching out a hand to me. “Emma, that’s not what I-”

  “No, I get it. This is your job, and I just screwed things up for you. Try not to let him kill you,” I said as I shoved my way past him, Hermes and Poseidon pausing a second before following me out. “I don’t need chaperones,” I snapped, and Hermes levitated in front of me, arms crossed over his chest.

  “I don’t think you realize yet how serious this is,” he said, and I stopped short.

  “When I said that I knew what the River Styx did to those who touched it, I meant it, so back off. I’m already feeling crappy enough as it is.”

  “The souls who fell into the water will never move onwards, will most likely turn into Furies and will, inevitably, attempt to kill you, and my guess is there’s a high chance of success if every single one of them chooses to attack at the same time. Tell me, Emma, exactly what is Hades supposed to do about an entire army of immortal Furies?”

  “I don’t know, but you’re acting like this is somehow my fault!”

  “You convinced Hades that adding an additional boat at each dock and therefore double the number of souls on the docks, would be a good idea, and look where that got you. I knew it was a disaster from the start-”

  “You did not you moody little liar,” Poseidon interjected, arms crossed over his chest. “You praised the decision, and Emma’s leadership skills, the second you found out about her proposal and the council’s approval of it.”

  “That was before this all happened, and-”

  “So, now your support’s conditional on how well she does or doesn’t do in a new position created by her with Hades’ begrudging consent? You’re unbelievable.”

  “When the two of you are done with your pissing match, we need to discuss what to do next,” I said as I entered my suite, Bailey rushing us, tail wagging and tongue lolling.

  “There’s not much we can do at this point other than wait and hope Hades comes up with a solution.”

  Not me, though, because turning to me for guidance would be stupid now, considering.

  Stop the self-pity party, Emma. You know what he meant.

  “But, if he calls Kronos here, it could make things worse,” I said, shuddering as I remembered Tartarus, and the day I died.

  “He wouldn’t attempt to take Hades’ kingdom again so soon after he failed,” Poseidon said, lounging back against the couch cushions. “If he does, though, we’re ready for him.”

  I sank down next to him, staring into the fire as I felt tears prickle the corners of my eyes. “I just created hundreds of Furies.”

  “No one blames you,” Poseidon said, draping an arm around my shoulders as Hermes cleared his throat behind us. “Almost no one. And besides, we don’t know how many of those souls will revolt, only that they can’t move on. You were trying to help, Emma, and I think you should get credit for it,” he added, seeing my tense, anxious expression. “Hades knows-”

  “That I said I could do this and failed him?”

  He’s never going to trust me again.

  “No. That you successfully sorted most of the souls who came to you for help and didn’t think about dock overcrowding, or how riotous the group today would become.”

  “Still, I should’ve done something when the fighting first began.”

  “And put yourself in danger by attempting to break them up? C’mon, Emma, even Hades himself would tell you that’s a stupid idea. What if they knocked you into the River Styx by accident?”

  “Well, at least then I’d be immortal like Hades wants.”

  “Hades doesn’t want-” Hermes began, and I whirled around to glare at him.

  “What rock have you been living under for the past couple of years? Of course, he wants that, Hermes! It’s been at the top of his list of things-to-change-Emma’s-mind-about since I first stepped foot in the Underworld. Being his soulmate means nothing if I’m dead.”

  “Why hasn’t he just done it already?” Hermes mused, gazing back at me speculatively, and Poseidon squeezed my shoulder in warning as I felt myself tense up.

  “I’m sure he’d like to, but he knows if he did that, I’d find a way to kill him.”

  “So much potential, though, not just in terms of your gifts, but what you could do for the whole Underworld. I wonder…” Hermes pursed his lips together in thought and I felt a strange undercurrent of anger shoot through my body, igniting my blood.

  I wanted to rip him to shreds for assuming I could be used-like my mortality was nothing to the gods other than a minor inconvenience, one which could be snatched away whenever they felt like it. Worst of all was knowing how easy it would be for any of them to do just that, to make the choice for me. Where was their sense of right and wrong? Just because you could do something doesn’t mean that you should.

  My hands curled into fists at my sides. I felt unmoored, like a ship without an anchor tossed back and forth between what I knew I wanted and what I should just walk away from.

  “You’ll wonder nothing, Hermes, not unless you’re prepared to suffer the consequences of taking Emma’s free will away from her,” Poseidon said, watching me nervously. “And I don’t think you want to push her right now.”

  “No, really, tell me again how useless I am as a mortal,” I said, eyes narrowed to slits. “Tell me how Hades has to keep saving me because I can’t save myself from stupid immortal beings who want me dead. I dare you.”

  That was the first lesson Hades taught me: never dare a god-not unless you really meant it, but I was too far past caring at this point to heed the warning. I liked Hermes-he was like a brother to me where I’d become a sort of pseudo-sister to both him and Poseidon-but even siblings fought on occasion, and this was me calling his bluff. I felt power rise to the surface, like a pot set on boil for too long, and briefly wondered about the source, but Hermes was already backing away from me, hands held up in supplication as his gaze flitted from me to the door.

  “Emma, you’re looking a little crazy ‘round the edges, so maybe this isn’t the best time to-”

  “She’s gonna kick your ass, little brother,” Poseidon said, a wide-toothed grin splitting his face
. “And when she’s done with you, I think I’ll have a crack at you myself, just for sassing her. We have no idea what Hera gave her, and quite frankly, I’m not too keen on being around for it when it does fully manifest.”

  “Ehh…” Hermes’ face scrunched up like it did when he was unsure what to do next, and as I took a small, teasing step towards him he balked, sprinting as fast as he could out of my room and down the hall.

  “Coward,” I muttered, and Poseidon laughed, warming his hands by the fire.

  “Emma.” Hades entered, hesitating a moment before sliding his arms around my waist, pressing his lips to my hair. “I’m sorry, love.”

  “Is it done?” I stepped out of the embrace, ignoring the dejected look he gave me in return. I didn’t need his apologies. They meant nothing to me if we still had to deal with the souls of the dead.

  “Not quite. Kronos agreed to take half the remaining Tartarus load but insisted I deal with the rest myself. As for the ones who fell off the dock…”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing where this was probably going to go, and not wanting to hear it, all at the same time.

  “Three hundred souls became Furies.” He said it softly like he thought I was going to break, and truth be told, I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t.

  I did that.

  “So many. So many to worry about now.”

  “If I thought that there was a chance of this happening, I would’ve returned the second you sent me away,” he said, and I reeled back as he’d slapped me. He saw my reaction and reached out, again. “That’s not what I-”

  “You’ve said a bunch of things in the past twenty-four hours that you didn’t mean to say, Hades, and quite frankly, I’m sick of the excuse. You claimed me as your soulmate and partner, but I don’t really think that your heart was in it, or you wouldn’t be trying to cover up the things I say and do. Tell me, were you actually glad that I recommended the dock expansion, or were you just trying to save face in front of your advisors?”

  “No one could’ve foreseen-”

  “Just answer the damn question.”