by A. E. Murphy
“Sorry,” I say breathlessly and fall back. “Can I get in the pool now?”
“Don’t worry, I should have been better prepared, this isn’t the first time it’s happened.” James is still laughing when DJ’s helper, another midwife called Georgia enters the room with a friendly smile. She takes one look at DJ and starts laughing with James.
“Should’ve aimed a bit higher,” she winks at me with pretty blue eyes and helps me step into the water. It’s a little hotter than I’d like but the relief is amazing.
“No, no,” I cry and bite down on the plastic in my mouth before sucking in a lungful of gas. It does little more than make me dizzy and make my voice sound funny. “FUCK!”
James kneels on a cushion on the floor behind where I’m sat in the pool with my legs spread wide open and my head back. Sylvia is still filming but has promised not to get my foof in any of the shots. Although she apparently got a good side shot of the projectile waters.
“Come on baby,” James says, he’s no longer concerned but giddy as a clown.
“Stop telling me to come on. And I swear if you tell me to calm down one more time I will chew your face off!” I growl and that build up comes again. “No… I want the epidural.” I can’t take this. It tears through me as I puff on this useless fucking air. “I can’t… make it stop.”
“Breathe Maya,” Georgia says soothingly.
“I want to get out of this pool, I’m not comfy,” I cry. I feel weak and delirious and tired. DJ comes over and turns me so my forehead is against James’ chest. I’m on my knees, my lower half under water. This actually feels a lot better. “Thank you.”
Then I feel Georgia prodding at my entrance. Oh god. She warned me but I’m too tired to reply. This hurts so fucking bad! Another comes straight after the first, I no longer feel her hand.
“She’s fully dilated,” Georgia grins at James who kisses my forehead. Sylvia gets closer and puts her hand on James’ shoulder. “DJ. It’s time.”
“I hate you for this,” I mumble to James. “Really fucking hate you.”
He just smiles wider as if I told him the total opposite. I mean it too. I’ll never forgive him for this pain. I want to squeeze his balls and… how long have I been here? Like, three hours? I know I’ve been in and out of the bath a few times, had the baby’s heart rate checked and such. I ask DJ. Apparently I’ve been here five hours and all of our friends are waiting outside.
Yay. Not.
“I need to push,” fuck that hurts. It burns, it really stings. I push down as if pooping like instructed, it really does feel like I’m pooping in a way, gross, I better not actually poop. I concentrate fully on that, I don’t concentrate on anything else. My screams can probably be heard all the way to China. They keep telling me not to scream, to just push. I tell them all to piss off. I’ll scream as loud as I fucking want if it makes me feel better.
“Oh my god, I can see the head,” James laughs excitedly and kisses my forehead. “Baby. The heads out.”
“I’m pushing here,” I snap and wave away their suggestions to look at the head between my legs. No thank you. I watched that woman giving birth on that video and almost fainted. Hell if I want to see myself pushing out a giant bubble.
Then DJ says something that freaks me out entirely, “Get ready to catch.” WHAT?
His arms are submerged in the water which is now a little pink. Another contraction comes and with a tiny push the shoulders pop out followed by a strange slimy thing which I assume is the body, I feel a sharp sting and suddenly I’m being flipped over and something is being thrust into my arms. Then it begins, the most beautifully frightening sound I’ve ever heard. My mind comes back into the room and I realize I’m looking down upon the most gorgeous yet distressed gunky and purple face I’ve ever seen.
“She’s all gooey,” is the first thing I say as the little girl wails in my arms.
James is staring down at her, his head resting on my shoulder. I feel something warm hit my shoulder, turning my head I see him crying with the largest smile on his face.
“Come on daddy, let’s cut the cord,” DJ slaps him on the back. Sylvia zooms in on James as he takes the scissors to the ugly tube thing and cuts.
“She has my nose,” I sob. And she does, she actually has my nose. “She’s so perfect.” My heart soars and sings with instant love, with an instant connection too strong to put into words. Then she’s taken from my arms and carried over to the now lit up cot. I have to push out the placenta as DJ checks the baby. I won’t go into detail about this part… it’s disgusting.
“Seven pounds and four ounces,” he shouts out and wraps her up. “She’s perfectly healthy.”
I’m helped out of the bath and wrapped in a warm white fluffy towel. Georgia leads me over to the clean bed. She even puts a pad in some of my lady boxers and helps me to put them on. DJ goes to hand her to me but I shake my head and point to James. I need a moment and so does he.
Sylvia who is stood beside me, is not only sobbing her eyes out but is also still filming. That takes skill.
I watch James as the little pink bundle is placed into his arms. I watch him carefully balance her on one arm so he can use his other to stroke her face. He starts crying again, or maybe he never stopped but the smile that brightens his face is a new one, it’s one solely for her. They rock side to side, the little girl no longer crying but squeezing his finger in her tiny hand and snoozing softly. My eyes burn, I don’t fight it, I let the emotion take over. How could I have not wanted this?
James catches my eye and smiles my smile at me, one full of so much love and respect. “I love you,” he mouths and looks back to his daughter. He stops suddenly and gasps, it has me panicking until he smiles and walks over. “She has your eyes.” Sure enough the little pink bundle has the unique violet color that I myself was blessed with from birth. “She’s perfect Maya.” He lifts her to his lips and kisses each of her tiny eyebrows. Georgia hands him a tissue, he takes it and wipes his eyes completely unashamed of his tears.
“Let’s try breastfeeding then,” DJ announces and rubs his hands together.
It’s not the most comfortable feeling in the world having hard gums latch onto your sensitive nipple and start sucking but it’s not the worst feeling either. James laughs at the face I pull and lays down beside me on the bed to help me get her situated. The whole latching on part was harder than I thought it would be but now I’ve done it once it’s not so hard. As instructed I swap boobies every so often. He says it’s a good way to stop my tubes getting clogged. I love how he explains everything in a way I can understand and a way that keeps me interested.
James kisses my forehead for the millionth time since laying with me. His finger lightly tickles our little girl’s hand. I feel something warm seep through the blanket. “She just peed on me.” Yet I’m still smiling. “That is so gross.” But in a way, it’s really not.
“Good girl,” James chuckles and brushes his lips against his daughter’s forehead who genuinely looks just like him even though she has my eyes and nose. She has his shape eyes, his thick brown hair, his dimples and his full lips. Even Sylvia can’t believe the resemblance. DJ helps me wind her once she’s finished, as soon as she burps I hand her over to Sylvia who starts crying again.
“Can I get dressed now? Maybe have a shower?”
“You can have a bath,” DJ agrees and looks at James. “You help her.” James follows without issue and helps me and my extremely sore and now empty body climb into the bath, wash my body and hair and then climb out. He also helps me dress in my pajamas and takes the babe so his mom can braid my hair. I climb into bed and let my head fall back onto the pillow. So tired.
“Have you got a name for her?” Georgia smiles as she writes on these tiny little white wristband things.
I look to James, seeing his love shine so brightly through his green eyes, “Evelyn?”
He beams at me and nods, “Evelyn.”
“Evie for short.”
&
nbsp; “Evie. I love it.”
“Me too.”
I watch as James puts a diaper on her and even dresses her in a cute little pink all in one. He puts a little hat on her head and little mittens over her tiny wrinkly hands, ever so gently, then he puts her in a cardigan and lifts her to his chest before climbing onto the bed with me and putting the blanket over us all. I snuggle into his side. Just for a minute, I’ll only close my eyes for a minute.
For once in my life, I actually feel like everything is exactly as it should be.
“She’s sleeping,” I’m sure James whispers. I hear oohs and awws and coos. Must wake up. Brain does not compute.
“How can she look so good after just having a baby?” That’s Summer. “Give me the damn baby Lucas.”
“No.” Well that told her.
I hear Marie giggling, and then it stops. “Oh no… no, no. I do not want to… but… Lucas. I’ll drop her.” I manage to peek open an eye and see Lucas force Evie into Marie’s hands. My heart starts thrumming but Marie has a good hold on her. “Yeah, she’s cute… aww… she’s puckering her lips.” Summer darts over and snatches her. Going back to sleep now.
It feels like only seconds later when I hear a high pitched wailing, and somebody presses their lips to my forehead. I feel so weird, so empty. Like if I stand too straight my back will keep going backwards. Yuck.
I rub my burning eyes from lack of sleep and slowly sit up. My tongue feels like I’ve been licking sheep and I can’t seem to peel my eyes open. “Here,” James says and places a drink in my hands. I quickly finish the water and smile at everyone in the room. It’s a sleepy smile but it’ll do.
“Hey momma,” Marie grins and flicks a pink balloon. “Congratulations.” There are a lot of balloons, cards and gift bags in here.
“I’m so proud of you,” Summer says with a wistful tone and squeezes my knee.
Lucas deposits Evelyn into my arms, I’m instantly awake and smiling again. He bends over to kiss me on the temple, “Hey beautiful. Well done.”
She’s in a cute little pink dress with frills and lace and a matching white cardigan. She’s even wearing tiny tights and pink dolly shoes. “Did you change her?”
James shrugs, “She was sick on her other clothes.”
I roll my eyes, “That’s what bibs are for.” Summer hands me one from my bag. I glare at everyone and motion for them to turn around. “Have to get my tit out. You know where the wall is.” They oblige, I stick the kid on my breast. James gives them the ok to turn around again.
Marie cringes, “You look… really uncomfortable.”
“This kid sucks like a vacuum. I swear she’s trying to pry my skin away,” I look down at her chubby pink cheeks and listen to her little noises as she drinks. “She’s so beautiful.”
“That’s because she looks like me,” James says smugly. I don’t even have to tell Marie to slap him for that one, she does it all on her own.
I glance around and realize someone is missing, “Where’s Sylvia?”
“She’s gone to get you something to eat from the café downstairs.”
Georgia chooses this moment to come back in. “I just want to take baby’s temperature and weigh her again. If she’s ok you’ll be free to leave as early as this afternoon.” Good point what time is it? I ask as much
“You had her at ten fifteen and it is now,” James checks his watch. “Twelve thirty.”
She waits until I’m finished feeding her before taking her to do the tests. When she brings her back James instantly takes her. “She’s fine although her temperature isn’t brilliant. I’m going to get her a hot cot and we’ll see how she is in a few hours. Until then, strip her down to her diaper and go skin to skin for a while.”
James immediately starts stripping her, and then himself. “I think she was talking about me,” I giggle, he shrugs and lays her face down on his chest after climbing in next to me. I tuck her in with a couple of baby pink blankets and kiss her cute head. Then I climb out of bed pull the blanket over them both and do a few stretches. Man I ache.
“How do you feel?” Sylvia asks as she comes in carrying a bag full of food and drinks.
“Tired and achy,” I sit in an ugly pink plastic padded chair between Marie and Lucas. “Starving.”
I grab a chicken mayonnaise sandwich from the bag. Oh man, I haven’t had one of these in far too long! Hmm… So good.
“I swear my nungas have grown three sizes since having her.” I pull my top forward and look at my large and painfully swollen breasts. “And they hurt like a bitch.”
“Totally normal,” Summer responds. “They’re full of milk. They’ll stop hurting in a week or two.”
Let me guess, she also read the baby books. Sigh.
Why do I suddenly feel ten years older? Like the skies have opened and revealed all of the secrets of the world? I get that I’m going to be all super mom and stuff from here on out but I suddenly feel at peace. Really content. Like I suddenly have something new to understand and learn. Which makes sense because I do. It’s still a strange feeling. My boobs really ache. Am I wearing nipple pads? I prod that area for confirmation. Yep.
When I look over to the bed mid conversation I grab Sylvia’s camera and start snapping pictures. James is asleep, Evelyn is asleep, and it’s the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life.
“So, when do we get to wet the baby’s head?” Marie asks, meaning, when is it we get to party. Everybody groans and rolls their eyes. I shake my head in amusement. Especially when DJ comes back in goes straight to the bed, missing me totally and stops when he sees James, scratches his head and looks around.
When he finds me he laughs, “Aren’t your roles reversed a little?”
I shrug, “I’ve been daddy fried.”
“Right,” he chuckles and starts asking questions. Have you pooped, have you been to the bathroom, how do you feel, let me check your blood pressure and temperature. Blah, blah, blah. Then I thank him profusely. Congratulate him and apologize for the vaginal spewing, he laughs again at this. Sylvia then rewinds the video much to my horror. All you hear is my extremely loud scream and splash. I can’t look, I will never watch that video ever. Although I get a high five from Marie as the others laugh and DJ threatens bodily harm if that ends up on YouTube to which I completely agree with him.
“Here,” Sylvia hands me a tube of nipple cream and this weird green gel things. “I picked them up from the pharmacy downstairs, the green things help with the pain and the cream stops you from getting sore.”
“Thank you,” I take them and head into the bathroom. Ah. That’s perfect. I pad over to James’ bed. “He’s still sleeping, he must be really tired.” I run my fingers through his hair. “Although I can’t deny the fact that I’m totally zonked myself.”
I sit with the others watching rubbish on TV and filling up on junk food whilst James and Evelyn sleep softly. “It’s good that he’s getting sleep now, it means he can get up with her tonight whilst you sleep,” Summer pops a piece of candy into her mouth. “Win, win.”
They stay another hour, taking pictures and such before leaving. Lucas manages to pry Sylvia away so she can go home, get changed and rest. There’s a rule on the labor ward that no children are allowed up unless they are the sibling of the newborn so unfortunately Amelia can’t come until tomorrow when we’re home.
I slip into bed beside James who is still laid on his back with one arm by his hip and his other on Evelyn’s bottom. He’s even smiling in his sleep. This guy really wanted a baby. Not that I blame him, I can now see the appeal. As if by magic she starts whittling and moving her head side to side.
I laugh and snort, “Oh honey, you’re not going to find any milk there I’m afraid.” Is it normal for her to get so hungry so fast? Probably.
I whip off my top and bra and bring her to my chest, James stirs as soon as she leaves his skin. His gorgeous sleepy greens blink open and a small smile touches his lips, “Hey.” He wraps his arm around my waist a
nd snuggles into my side. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, Sylvia’s gone to get some rest and prepare for the arrival. The rest have left, they’ll be at ours tomorrow,” I explain and wince when the little pink bundle latches on. “Man, this is really weird. You should’ve seen her a second ago trying to nuzzle your chest for milk. It was so cute.”
He kisses us both and rests his cheek on my shoulder, “You were amazing Maya. So strong and brave. Although… I wasn’t impressed when you called me a cock sucking son of a bitch. And a god damn ape with a prick on his head.”
“Language.”
He chuckles and kisses my arm, “I love you Maya.”
“Yeah. I love you too.”
Chapter Twenty Eight
We just walked in to mine and are shocked by the empty house. Everyone clearly wanted to give us our space. I half expected to find it full to the brim. This is better, much better.
“I don’t know if I feel comfortable with her sleeping in the other room. I think we should bring the swinging crib into your room,” James scratches the back of his head and nods once. “Yeah. I’ll go do that. You go sit down. Try expressing or something so you don’t have to get up tonight.” Then he’s gone. Ok super dad. I do as I’m told. First I put Evie into the cute little brown and beige swinging chair, she looks so tiny in the thick padding. I press a button and it starts vibrating and rocking backwards and forwards slow and gentle.
“I’m hungry, want to order in?” I shout through to him.
I get a muffled response but I’m sure he says yeah so I order our usual from the Chinese place around the corner. Then I get the breast pump out and get on it, Sylvia must have sterilized the bottles for this exact reason. Thank god. I still don’t know how to work that machine.
