Heart of Disaster: A Titanic Novel of love and loss

by Rachel Wesson

  A woman, Mrs. Brown, came forward but there was no more room. Before the sailors could lower their boat, the woman sitting beside Delia stood up and got out insisting, Mrs. Brown, take her seat.

  “Mrs. Brown, you have children at home. Take my seat,” the young woman said.

  “But Edith, I couldn’t possibly,” Mrs. Brown replied.

  “I insist. You go ahead, I will keep Colonel Gracie company.” The woman called Edith didn’t look back but walked into the middle of the crowd and disappeared. Mrs. Brown reluctantly took the vacated seat.

  Delia would have gladly swapped with the woman too but for the child sitting on her lap. Conor wouldn’t have liked it but at least they would have been together. She buried her head in the child’s shoulder not wanting to watch as they were lowered down to the sea.

  Chapter 39

  “She’s going.”

  Delia looked up, not believing her eyes. The Titanic was almost perpendicular, the lights were still on and she could hear the strains of music although she didn’t recognize the song. Then the lights went out, came on for just a second before going completely dark once more. The ship seemed to fight for a few seconds more before giving up and sliding to the bottom of the sea. There was complete silence for what seemed like hours but was, in fact, seconds, before the most awful sound filled the air. Delia held the baby tight against her and pulled the four-year-old closer. She sung to him softly trying to distract him from the screams and prayers of the thousand or more people dying in the water around them.

  “Please, God, save Conor. I know its selfish, but I can’t live without him. Please, God, please. I will do anything you want. I just need you to save my husband,” Delia concentrated on her prayers, trying to keep the horrible sounds out of her ears.

  Despite the starry night of earlier, it was difficult to see anything around them. The women in the boat wanted to go back to rescue some of those drowning but the sailors refused.

  “They’ll swamp us,” one cried.

  A woman dressed in a fur coat, protested. “But it’s our husbands and sons. Ladies, we need to pull together and go back for them. Are you with me?”

  Delia didn’t get a chance to respond as the sailor threatened to throw the woman overboard. The lady sat back down. Delia couldn’t meet her eyes although she wanted to return too. It could be Conor in the water.

  The cold ate into her bones. She no longer shivered but grew completely numb. How long would they have to wait to be rescued? Someone said another ship was coming for them but from where?

  Delia heard a voice from the distance telling them to yell so they could be located. It was difficult to see in the darkness. Delia wasn’t even sure if it was a real person or her imagination playing tricks on her. Still, she yelled with all her might and some of the women in the boat with her joined in. Together they kept yelling until they saw a green light. Fourth Officer Boxhall identified himself and took charge.

  “We need to transfer some of you to this boat. Come on, now.”

  Delia couldn’t move. The children clung to her, screaming. The officer tied their boat to his and together the two little boats rowed across a sea, now as flat as a pond. Not a rescue ship in sight.

  Chapter 40

  K ate couldn’t bear to look as the once-magnificent ship died. Yet she couldn’t look away either. Seamus, Daniel and the Burkes could still be on board. Had Delia and her husband escaped? She turned back to look at the ship, the music played by the band filtering above the air. As she looked, she spotted Margaret Rice carrying Frank, with her other children gathered around her. Kate couldn’t believe her eyes. Nobody had helped the family into the boats. She didn’t want to look but couldn’t tear her eyes away from the horrific scene. As the ship tilted, Margaret lost her grip on the children. One by one, they slid away from her disappearing into the ocean. Kate screamed. Then, Margaret lost her hold on Frank and the two tumbled into the water. Kate jerked her head away, her whole body shaking. Clinging to Cathy, she sobbed her heart out. Why hadn’t no-one helped Mrs. Rice?

  The lights on the big ship went out one by one as it slid to its watery grave. At the last moment, the ship seemed determined to fight for survival, breaking in two before disappearing beneath the ocean.

  Silence reigned for a few seconds and then the screams started. Kate had never heard anything like it in her life. She wanted to put her hands over her ears, but she knew she would still hear it. People were still alive in the water.

  Quartermaster Perkis steered the lifeboat back toward where the ship had gone down. One by one, they pulled several swimmers over the side. In total, they rescued over ten men from the water, all crew judging by their clothes.

  Kate helped where she could. The men were frozen so she distributed the few blankets on board. The Quartermaster ordered his men to row away from the scene. “We got to get away now. Otherwise, we will be swamped.”

  Kate knew he was doing what he thought best. He had tried to help.

  She took over the rowing from one of the crew who seemed to be going in circles. She couldn’t be any worse. At least it would keep her warm. Then her hands grew sore, she could feel the blisters, so she gratefully gave up the oar to another volunteer.

  Kate hugged Cathy tight, worried her friend was losing the will to survive. She urged Cathy to take a turn with the oars, but her friend refused despite Kate telling her it would keep her warm.

  There was nothing to eat or drink in the boat and they were all dying of thirst. Someone wanted to drink the seawater, but the sailor warned them not to.

  “That water will drive you mad. There’s a big ship on its way to rescue us. It’ll be here at any moment. Just you wait and see.”

  They didn’t see anything other than ice floating on the surface of the ocean. A couple of people in the boat died. Kate could see the nice crewman closing their eyes and saying a prayer over the body. Still, nobody spoke loudly. They all seemed to be conserving their energy.

  As time went on, Kate saw a number of their party with bleeding, cracked lips. She glanced at Cathy, horrified to see blood running down her friend’s chin. She wiped the blood away with the edge of her dress.

  “Look, Cathy, look?” Kate pointed at the sky turning pink as dawn broke. “It’s morning, surely the rescue ship will come now.”

  Cathy didn’t answer. She didn’t cry or make any sound but stared at the bottom of the boat. Kate chaffed her hands and put her arm around her, trying to combine their body heat. The girl never reacted.

  “That’s a ship,” a man cried out. “It’s come to save us.”

  “Do you hear that, Cathy, we are saved.”

  But Cathy didn’t respond. Kate held onto Cathy’s hand.

  One of the sisters noticed Cathy’s lack of reaction. “Maybe she will be better when she feels a solid deck beneath her feet and gets a drop of the hard stuff for the shock.”

  Kate hoped the woman was right.

  Another woman leaned in toward Cathy saying, “Could be the men are waiting on the ship for us?”

  Cathy’s eyes widened and she looked toward the ship with new hope. Kate didn’t have the heart to tell her not to get her hopes up too high especially as the ship was flying her flag at half-mast.

  Chapter 41

  Conor watched Delia’s lifeboat until he was satisfied it had landed safely on the water. Then he knew he had to do something. A mob of people stood, balancing themselves on the listing deck. What were they to do, now the boats had gone?

  He heard a couple of men talking about shots being fired to stop steerage men going in the boats.

  “A young officer, name of Lowe, fired into the air. He didn’t hit anyone but the look on his face said he would if he had to.”

  “The officers had to get the women and children away. Would you want them to leave them behind?” A man asked, his tone suggesting the first man was a fool.

  “Ismay was allowed on. He’s a man ain’t he? He owns this ship. Should have stayed on board.
Let fee paying passengers on the boats first.”

  Conor wasn’t going to waste time listening to the men complaining. After the way he had seen the officers and crew man the boats and insisting on women and children only, he didn’t believe for a second, they had allowed the man onto a lifeboat for any reason other than he happened to be in the right place at the right time.

  Some crew members were on the roof of the officer’s quarters trying to launch two small collapsibles but weren’t having much luck. “Do the best for the women and children. It won’t be long now,” a uniformed officer told his men.

  A group of people knelt down in the center of the deck and started praying. Father Byles, assisted by other clergy members, gave general absolution. Conor knew the prayers by heart but he couldn’t just kneel down and wait to drown. He had to do something.

  Stepping carefully to keep his balance, he tried to avoid the crowds surging toward the stern. His best chance of survival was not to be caught in the middle of a load of people.

  Conor gripped the bulwark rail, unsure whether to cling on or dive into the water. A man came close beside him.

  “Those boats don’t look too far out. Reckon we could swim for it?”

  “I was just wondering that. Should I jump or wait to swim off when she sinks?”

  Crashing sounds came from inside the ship. They heard Captain Smith giving his last command to his crew.

  “Men you have done your full duty, you can do no more. It’s every man for himself.”

  Conor and the man next to him exchanged a look. From somewhere deep inside the ship came more sounds, like that of muffled explosions.

  “Reckon, it’s time to go. We could go under with the ship and who knows if we’d be able to make it back to the surface again.”

  Conor didn’t respond. He looked down at the sea and estimated it was a drop of about twelve feet. The lad climbed up onto the rail.

  “Best of luck to you, mate.” Then he jumped.

  Taking a deep breath, Conor followed his example and dove into the water. Oh, divine Lord but it was cold, colder than the Irish sea even in December! It was a family tradition for him, his brothers and their cousins to go swimming first thing on Christmas morning. Conor concentrated on breathing and kicking trying his best to ignore the cold. He had to get away from the crowds of drowning people in the water or they would pull him under. He kept going until he saw what looked like a raft. Reaching it, he discovered it was a capsized collapsible. He heaved himself on top of it. Only when he was stable, he grasped a nearby swimmer’s outstretched arm and heaved him on.

  The man stuttered with the cold. “Thanks, mate, my legs were that frozen I didn’t think I could move.”

  Conor glimpsed another guy and hauled him on as well. The three of them helped almost twenty more people onto the collapsible.

  A man pointed to the ship. “Would you look at that?”

  Their attention focused on the Titanic as it slipped fully beneath the surface. Silence prevailed for a couple of seconds before the screams of the drowning people started again.

  Conor wanted to help everyone but that wasn’t possible nor practical. Every time someone came aboard the collapsible, it sunk lower into the sea until finally there was simply no more room for anyone else. Conor urged people to hold on to the sides, gripping one such swimmer himself. His arms ached but he refused to let the older man go despite the man telling Conor to save himself. As the cold night wore on, those swimming around the raft lessened in number. Finally, there was silence around them. A couple of those rescued died and their bodies were returned to the sea thus allowing those who were hanging on by their fingertips to come aboard.

  Later one of those rescued on the raft would swear Captain Smith himself swam up to them, a babe in his arms. He handed the baby to a woman on the raft, wished them luck and swam away. Conor didn’t know if the story was true or not as he had not seen anyone.

  Chapter 42

  A s their lifeboat rowed closer to the RMS Carpathia, they found themselves surrounded by up to twenty icebergs.

  The woman beside Kate stared at the ice. “Look pretty, don’t they? Who’d have thought they could be so deadly?”

  Kate was saved from replying. The sailor heard the lady and answered.

  “The small ones, they call them growlers. They be only ten to twelve feet long and about the same in width. The icebergs are between one hundred and fifty and two hundred feet. I think the Titanic must have hit a bigger one, miss.” The sailor took a deep breath and whistled. “Captain of the Carpathia did well sailing around this lot.”

  Kate saw the passengers gathered along the rail of the ship, all staring at the survivors. The women appeared to be holding blankets and what Kate hoped was hot tea. Even coffee would be good now, anything to take the chill from her body.

  One by one, the occupants of her small boat were hauled up the side. Kate held Cathy’s hand while the crewman secured the rope around the girl’s waist and she was dragged up onto the Carpathia barely conscious. When it was her turn, she found the energy to climb up a rope ladder, after securing the now soggy bag of clay and the rosary beads in her coat pocket.

  At the top, a woman with a kind smile put a blanket around her shoulders, handed her a warm drink and led her toward the area for the Third Class passengers.

  “We got to keep classes separate, miss. The law says so.”

  Kate glanced at the steward. He didn’t meet her eyes.

  “I know you all went through the same thing. We’ll look after you, don’t worry about that.”

  She was going to ask him how he knew who belonged to what class, but he moved on. A female passenger caught Kate’s eye and smiled.

  “They think they can tell by the clothes you’re wearing. Although that’s not always foolproof. One poor dear arrived in a fur coat. The minute she spoke, it was obvious she didn’t belong in First Class. Someone gave her the coat to keep her warm.”

  The First Class women were directed toward the staterooms in the care of the senior ranking officers, the Second Class passengers were directed towards their quarters and then Kate and those of her class.

  She didn’t feel resentful. That was the way of things. She’d no energy left to fight about anything. The woman handed her a warm drink.

  “Sadie McKenna is my name. Are you traveling alone?”

  She stared at her, taking in her silver-colored hair and kind eyes now looking at her with concern. Was she a survivor too? She couldn’t remember seeing her on the Titanic.

  “No. My friend, Cathy, she was carried off the lifeboat just before me. She’s in a bad way. We had to leave her brother behind and our friends.” Kate choked. “One had five children with her. All those boys and nobody helped her.” Kate couldn’t stop the tears coming, picturing Mrs. Rice in her mind.

  “Oh, you poor dear girl! What sights you have seen! Come with me now and we will get you some dry clothes. Then you can find your friend.”

  “Mrs. McKenna, are there many survivors? Maybe our friends got off in another boat?”

  The woman glanced from Kate to where the crew was pulling the now empty lifeboat on board.

  “There are some. Most of the First Class ladies and their children are accounted for I believe. But the likes of us? Nobody knows yet. All we can do is pray.”

  Kate couldn’t pray. She didn’t know how to talk to a God that let this happen. She changed into the clothes provided and carefully put Daniel’s sweater to dry. If his brothers met the ship in New York, she would give it to them. If not, she would post it home to his mother. It was the least she could do.

  “What will you do, lass?” Mrs. McKenna asked her. Confused, Kate didn’t answer.

  “I mean, will you go back to Ireland?”

  “Never. Once we dock in America, I will never travel on the sea again.” Kate swore she wouldn’t. Once dry and with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders, she went to check on Cathy. Her friend had fallen into a deep sleep and was be
ing well looked after. She went up on deck to keep an eye on the other boats still arriving. Maybe a miracle would happen.

  Chapter 43

  Delia didn’t know how many hours they’d been in the water. How much longer could they survive without food and water? Daylight broke but it didn’t bring their salvation. The waves got rougher. Each one that hit the lifeboat, threatened to swamp it. Delia bailed the water as an older woman held the children, wrapping the baby inside her coat. The boys were frozen like the rest of them. Delia had indicated to the four-year-old to keep his feet out of the water if possible. She didn’t want the child to lose his limbs due to frostbite.

  A woman pointed to something in the distance. “That’s a ship.”

  The sailor in charge of their boat didn’t even look up. “It’s a star.”

  “She’s right, it is a ship. Shout louder, maybe they will hear us.” Delia hopes rose. They rowed faster and faster but didn’t seem to be making much progress. They were tired now and the rough sea wasn’t helping. Neither was the two feet of water inside their lifeboat.

  “Row, ladies, faster now. We have a chance to live. Come on, now.” One of the women cheered them on. Delia pulled harder with all her might. The children needed help soon or they wouldn’t survive.

  Finally, they made it to the Carpathia’s side. Delia’s shoulders and arms ached from rowing. She didn’t care. All she could think about was Conor. Was he already on board this ship? She glanced at her watch. It was a quarter past seven, almost five hours since the Titanic had gone down.

  In addition to rope ladders, they sent down chairs for those who couldn’t climb up and a satchel type apparatus for the children. It took a few minutes to convince the boys to get into the bag, they were obviously terrified. Delia did her best to soothe them and soon they were reunited on the deck of the ship.