Shapes of Autumn (Boxed set, books 1 - 5)

by Veronica Blade

“No apologies necessary. How could you know? She had me fooled for months.”

  Gina was lucky I wasn’t actually the horrible person she created in her head. Because if I was, with my supernatural abilities, I’d crush her into a red paste. For a moment, I let my mind wander and imagined her no longer around to bother me. Just sticky pulp under my feet.

  But it was only a fantasy and I’d never do anything to bring it to reality.

  Wait. Why were they so quiet? I made sure the bushes still concealed me and peered into his room.

  They were sitting at the foot of his bed, her torso twisting around to face him, arms circling his neck. His arms were wrapped all the way around her, a hand reaching up behind her to cradle her head. Their lips moved against each other and my stomach churned, my throat swelling in rage.

  I’d told him to flirt, not do this. How could he kiss that bitch? I wanted to scream silently into his head, but then he’d know I was spying.

  Zack stood up, distancing himself and I exhaled in relief even as my eyes burned.

  “Something wrong?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.

  “We don’t have much privacy.”

  She made a show of looking around the room. “Nobody’s here, Zack. Just you and me.”

  “The walls are paper thin, as Autumn and I discovered when she’d spend the night. Trevor can hear everything. And I mean everything.”

  Gina smiled sweetly and whispered, “I can be very quiet.” She didn’t wait for a reply, standing up and fastening her lips to his.

  He gently nudged her away. “I’m not looking for a relationship, Gina. I’ve had my fill of that crap.”

  “Neither am I, so there’s nothing to stop us from taking what we want.”

  “There’s always a price to pay for a hookup.”Zack laughed softly. “I’ve had that itch scratched recently anyway.”

  Her brows rose. “With Autumn?”

  “Who else?”

  Did he just tell her we’d slept together? It didn’t matter, since everyone thought we’d already done that anyway. But still…

  “C’mon.” She slithered against him. “You’ve been broken up a few days. You’re young and healthy. And I know you think I’m pretty.”

  “You realize that Trevor is probably listening to everything you just said?”

  “Then let’s take a drive,” Gina whispered into his ear. “Go somewhere that we can be alone.”

  His hands rested noncommittally at her waist.

  “Oh, I get it.” She drew back. “You’re not playing hard to get. You still like her.”

  Zack growled, picking Gina up and tossing her on the bed. “I was just trying to be a gentleman. But you make it impossible.”

  I couldn’t take my eyes off of them, my nails cutting into my palms as I clenched my fists. The whole thing was like a car wreck, the kind where the car is on fire and you know someone is inside. You should look away so the image isn’t seared into your brain. But you can’t.

  He continued to kiss her, slowly pushing her back until he was on top of her. Gina wrestled his shirt off and ran her hands up his bare back. I pressed my fist against my chest to stop the pain deep inside me. I wiped at my eyes, trying to plug the leak, but it wouldn’t stop. Was it really necessary to be almost naked with his tongue down her throat in order to convince Gina properly?

  I didn’t think so.

  Zack eased off her, propping himself up on his elbow and drawing little circles on her skin. His shoulders began to shake.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked.

  “Did you hear Autumn got caught cheating?”

  “Yeah.” She grinned. “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.”

  “That’s what I thought,” Zack said. “It’s strange though. She used to do my homework when I was at work and I always got A’s. She doesn’t need to cheat.”

  “Some rich people don’t need to steal, but they do it anyway.”

  “True.” Zack looked pensive as he sat up and scooted away a few inches. “It’s out of character though. You think Natalie set her up? She’s in that class with Autumn. I’d love to know how Natalie managed it. Pretty impressive.”

  Gina smiled. “Why don’t you ask Natalie? I wasn’t there.” She sat up again and tried to resume the tongue bath.

  He held her by the shoulders, halting her. “My family’s going to think I’m a player.”

  “You’re a guy. What else would they expect?”

  He gave a quick laugh. “They like Autumn a lot.”

  She groaned. “It’s your life, not theirs.”

  “But I have to live with them. And, strange as it may seem, I want them to think well of me.”

  “That’s why we should go.” She gave him a sultry smile.

  “They’ll still know. Besides, I need to spend some time with my mom.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “You should go.” He yanked her against him. “I’ll see you Monday at school. Maybe we can do something together after.”

  “Sure.” She angled her face toward him until their lips were a breath away.

  Zack gave a quick laugh and slammed his mouth down on hers.

  I muffled a sob. It may have been an act, but Zack was way too convincing.

  Finally, after what seemed like years of groping, they came up for air. Zack put his shirt back on and they left the room. I sat on the grass, staring unseeing into his dark empty room.

  If he really didn’t want to make out with her, he would’ve found a way out of it. I could only assume that kissing and touching her wasn’t exactly a hardship. Maybe he was comfortable visiting familiar territory or something. Maybe he was a cheater like Daniel.

  Or perhaps he’d just grown tired of me and all the stress of the last few days. Who could blame him?

  Using the bottom of my shirt, I wiped the tears off my cheek. Where was Zack? Why hadn’t he come back into his room? Had he gone off with Gina for a drive after all?

  My throat constricted and tears pricked my eyes again.

  Autumn? Where are you?

  Crap. I couldn’t tell him I was at his house stalking him. Go away, Zack.

  What? Why? Are you okay?

  Just fine. But I don’t want to see you tonight.

  I rose, waiting for him to reply, to fight for us, but only silence met me.

  Autumn?

  What?

  Were you at my house tonight? Maybe watching through the window? he asked.

  Of course not.

  Are you still there?

  Where? My eyes darted around the yard to make sure no one was around. I booked it home.

  Are you at my house? Because I’m at yours.

  It took only seconds to travel the block through the back yards. He turned around, sensing my presence, just as I arrived at my back door.

  “Let’s talk inside,” Zack said.

  “It was your idea not to come inside. I think we should stick to that.” I refused to look at him as I dug in my jeans for my house key.

  “We’ll have to make an exception. Don’t you think we need to talk about this? Not like we can really do it out here.”

  “I don’t want you in my house.” I folded my arms over my chest, glaring at him. I didn’t want to imagine what I looked like after crying. Hopefully, the moonlight would look on me favorably, and Zack wouldn’t notice.

  He sighed. “I’m not going anywhere. And last time we arm wrestled, you didn’t beat me. So have fun trying to get rid of me.”

  “Fine. Come in. We’ll talk, then you’ll leave,” I said, an edge to my voice. I pushed through the back door. As soon as the door closed behind him, I rounded on him. “Say what you have to say and get out.”

  “You’re being unreasonable, Autumn. You saw for yourself how relentless she was and suspicious of every excuse I gave her. How was I going to lure her to my side if I rejected her?”

  “We would’ve found another way.” I wrapped my arms around my waist, averting his eyes. “You d
on’t kiss other girls when you have a girlfriend. That’s called cheating.”

  “I didn’t want to kiss her. But she kissed me. And I know how important it is for you to be vindicated with Mr. Collins. You didn’t expect something like this was going to happen? Autumn, you know Gina.”

  “Oh, please. Don’t blame all of it on her.” I gave a watery laugh as I glared at him accusingly. “You threw her on the bed.”

  “Autumn,” he growled. “I had no choice. You told me to do this, remember?”

  “I didn’t say by any means possible! I mean, when Cameron kissed me, he didn’t get another chance. I made sure of it. Because that’s what you do when you’re already with someone.”

  “Wait a minute.” He shook his head as if he’d misheard me. “Cameron kissed you?”

  Oh, hell, did I just say that out loud? “Yeah, but he ambushed me.”

  “Today?” Zack stalked toward me, his eyes dark.

  I nodded. “When he walked me to my car.”

  “At school?” His eyes had turned to slits.

  “No. At Bill’s Bean and Brew.” I took a step back.

  “You went out with him?” His teeth ground against each other.

  “In a group. There were other people there.” I gulped. “It was a friend thing and I needed a distraction so I wouldn’t think about you and Gina. I didn’t expect him to kiss me.”

  “You didn’t?” he asked softly.

  I shook my head. “Of course not.”

  “Tongue or no tongue?” He inched closer.

  My breath froze in my lungs when I saw the faraway battle in his eyes. I didn’t want to lie, but I absolutely did not want to tell the truth either. Turned out, I didn’t need to answer at all. He already knew.

  He hit the wall and drywall crumbled. “Damn it, Autumn! I can’t believe you put yourself in a position where he’d kiss you. And you let him.”

  “Look who’s talking!” My voice trembled and the words tumbled out. “He faked me out, okay? I looked away, then turned to him and he was already swooping.”

  “And you couldn’t get him to back off? No, you had to give him time for a little tongue action first?” Zack loomed over me with a murderous scowl.

  “At least there wasn’t a bed involved and our clothes stayed on. Unlike with you Gina. Cameron kissed me once. You were on top of her.” My voice rose. “You have no right to make me out to be the bad guy here.”

  “Of course not,” he growled. His breathing became unsteady and his voice dangerously low. “I wouldn’t dream of it. Good-bye, Autumn.”

  And just like that, he was gone.

  Chapter Twenty-five

  This time last year seemed like a lifetime ago. I was in another state with a different set of friends. My best friend Jenny had a longtime crush on this guy in her math class. One day, he asked her out and she said yes. After their date, Jason dominated our conversations. She was on cloud nine and I was happy for her.

  A couple weeks later, he completely blew her off with no explanation. Jenny was devastated. She’d created this fantasy and built her whole world around him. Her entire identity and happiness revolved around him and what he might do. Would he be nice to her that day? Bless her with his smile?

  When he’d dumped her, it was as if he’d taken a piece of her soul. At the time, I didn’t understand why Jenny couldn’t still be Jenny without him. People made their own happiness, right? If they didn’t make their life better, no one was going to do it for them. And Jason wasn’t worth her tears.

  She’d seen him as this perfect guy, but his perfection existed only in her imagination. I tried to tell her that, but she wouldn’t hear me.

  After witnessing what happened to Jenny, I vowed never to allow a guy to become so important that I lost a part of myself.

  But Zack had seemed nothing like Jenny’s creepy object of obsession, nor was he anything like Daniel. Zack had been there for me when my car broke down, when Daniel tried to hurt me, and when I didn’t know I was a shape-shifter. He’d never deserted me. Zack wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was my friend.

  But he wasn’t coming back tonight and he wouldn’t invite me over — I knew that as sure as I knew I was a shape-shifter. We wouldn’t see each other again until tomorrow at school.

  I didn’t throw things. I didn’t run upstairs and bury my head in my pillow.

  I didn’t do anything at all.

  With my back against the wall near the door, I slowly slid down until my bottom touched the floor. I crossed my legs, my arms hanging limply at my sides while I stared at nothing.

  I didn’t cry. I was too numb for that.

  † † †

  Rolling over in bed, I watched the sun come up. The thought of getting out of bed was too much to possibly consider. My limbs were heavy with a fog of gloom smothering me.

  I wanted to be understanding and try to see Zack’s perspective, but budging on the Gina incident wasn’t going to happen. Making out with her had not been part of the plan.

  If we fought about it again, he’d say he did it for me, to help me out of my predicament. He’d expect me to apologize for kissing Cameron, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t to blame for the kiss.

  Perhaps I should’ve been smarter and dodged Cameron more skillfully. I was superhuman, after all. Still, kissing Cameron had been an accident. But Zack had knowingly put moves on Gina.

  No, I wouldn’t give in or beg forgiveness. I had no intention of forgiving him either — not that he’d ask for forgiveness. And he probably wouldn’t want to go to Yosemite with me.

  The idea of making the long drive by myself was daunting. I could pull over and get a hotel room any time, since I had access to the money my parents had wired into my account. Plus, the credit card I’d lifted from the safe. But I’d rather have Zack with me.

  Whether he came with me or not, I needed to pack. I had to be ready to leave straight away after school. I forced my legs to move and eventually made it out of bed. As I gathered items for my trip, I came across Zack’s things.

  I paused, unzipping the little black bag he’d given me the other night. Inside was a toothbrush, toothpaste, razor, and various other grooming tools. Should I bring his stuff in case Zack went through with our plans?

  Before we’d started dating, he’d spent time helping me when he didn’t want to. Because he couldn’t stand by and do nothing while anyone suffered. If Zack stayed true to his nature, he’d insist on coming along, just to make sure I was safe. His mom would probably insist, too.

  Although I hated myself for it, part of me wanted him to be waiting in my car after school like we’d arranged. Even if we didn’t speak the whole way to Yosemite, having him with me when I discovered the truth about my parents would mean everything to me.

  I packed his things with mine.

  Mapping my route, I printed it out, along with information on nearby hotels and restaurants, just in case I had a spell with no cell service. I didn’t want to make a hotel reservation yet in case I got everything I needed the first night. If we didn’t need to stay, Zack might want to return home immediately.

  Now I just had to load the stuff in my car without anyone seeing. If any of the werewolves thought I was getting ready for a trip, they’d watch me closer. I darted downstairs with my duffle bag, then backed my Mustang farther up the driveway. Once I’d positioned my car to block the view of the sideyard from the street, I went inside again and shoved my bag through the window. Back outside, I tossed it into the trunk.

  Finally, I was ready for my trip and headed to school. I was dying to skip it and stay home, but cutting class wouldn’t make me appear any more innocent to Mr. Collins. Not only that, I really didn’t need my parents to get a phone call. They might come home and I wouldn’t be there.

  As I drove to school, my throat constricted at the thought of Zack. Did he think we’d broken up? Was he even thinking about me at all?

  I glided my car into a space by the gate, far from the school building, and sat in my c
ar until the warning bell rang. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone just yet. Especially Zack.

  Crawling out of my car, I put my head down and made a mad dash for my first class.

  “Autumn!”

  Oh, damn, Maya would know how screwed up I was and I didn’t want to talk about it. I mean, how would I explain the betrayal I felt at watching Zack make out with Gina when he wasn’t even supposed to be my boyfriend? Worse, she’d think I was twisted for spying in the first place.

  I met her at the double doors.

  “I don’t have to guess what you were up to last night.” She lifted one brow, her mouth thinned into a straight line.

  Oh, God, how did she find out I’d been spying on Zack?

  “This is probably all over school by now.” She flashed her phone screen.

  I gasped. It was a picture of Cameron and me kissing. And if it was already all over school, like Maya said, then Zack had probably seen it too. Or he soon would. Right then, I couldn’t imagine forgiving Zack and making up, but I’d already discovered firsthand how much it sucked to watch someone you loved kissing someone else.

  Not that Zack loved me. He couldn’t have done those things with Gina if he had.

  A groan escaped me. “I don’t know who took that picture, but I wasn’t a willing participant in… that.” I pointed at the phone. “Cameron took me by surprise, I swear.”

  “Fill me in later.” Maya sighed. “We’d better get to first period.”

  My classes before lunch were spent in a daze. I had no clue if Zack still wanted me and, if he did, whether or not I could forgive him. All I knew was that my heart felt like it had been ripped open and I missed Zack something fierce.

  I just needed to get through the day. Once on the road later, I would work on being happy again. I could do it. I had to. And looking for my birth parents would give me something to do, give me a sense of purpose. I needed that.

  At lunchtime, Maya found me in the food line. She leaned toward me, lowering her voice. “Autumn, are you okay? I saw you after second period and shouted your name. You just walked off like you were hypnotized or something.”

  I groaned inwardly. She always sat with Zack and Trevor. No way could I join her. But if I didn’t give her some kind of explanation, she’d push and push until I told her what happened. How could I tell her how Zack had crushed me when she and everyone else thought we were already over?