Surrounded by Idiots

by Thomas Erikson

  There’s something in what he said. At the same time, of course, you can always choose how much or little you modulate your behavior. The more you learn about other people, the easier it becomes for you to make decisions. Join in the game, or go your own way? The decision will always be yours.

  Furthermore, Adam was also deeply resentful that I, as a specialist in the field, could describe him in quite some detail and give examples of how I thought he was wired. When he looked at the assessment tool that describes an individual, he went completely silent.

  Ultimately, after we sat down and discussed the matter Adam came to understand the role and benefits of behavior assessment. But he taught me to be careful with how I use this knowledge.

  How Often Do We Follow a System Without Knowing If It Works?

  No system is perfect. There are always exceptions. This is just one piece in the jigsaw puzzle of human life. It’s certainly a large and important piece, but it’s far from the whole picture.

  I’ve divided up the sections on adaptation into two parts for each color. The first part deals with what you need to do to interact meaningfully with another person—when you really want to get through to him and put him in a cheerful mood and make him feel that you understand him. The second part deals with how you get people to take your side. What each profile wants in a situation isn’t necessarily the best thing to do to make progress.

  You can do a great deal of good—if you choose to do so.

  Adapting to Red Behavior

  What a Red Expects of You

  “DO WHAT I ASKED OF YOU, AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE—PREFERABLY, EVEN FASTER THAN THAT”

  If you ask a Red, he’ll agree that most people are too slow. They speak too slowly, they have trouble coming to the point, and they work ineffectively. In a Red’s world, everything simply takes way too long.

  Remember what I told you about impatience in Red behavior, about their constant pursuit of (fast) results. When other people turn things over in their minds from morning to night, it drives a Red crazy.

  Thought and action are one. It has to be done quickly. If there’s anything Reds dislike, it’s endless discussion. It makes them flip out.

  Conclusion: If you want to adapt to a Red’s tempo—hurry up! Speed up! Speak and act more quickly. Look at the clock often, because that’s what a Red does. If you can conclude a meeting in half the time—do it! If you have a Red with you in the car, he won’t be upset if you’re a little bit over the speed limit. (If you drive too slowly, he might insist on taking the steering wheel.)

  “DO YOU WANT SOMETHING? SPEAK UP!”

  As you now know, Reds are very much to the point, and they enjoy being with other people who also have the ability to tell them what they want—quickly. If you have a tendency to go around in circles before getting to the crux of the matter, you’ll have difficulty getting through to a Red. He’ll get tired if you waste your words without due cause. And he knows when he’s dealing with a chatterbox.

  It’s very common for people to provide some background to a problem before describing the problem itself. And maybe even some more background to the solution of the problem.

  Forget it. It won’t work.

  Conclusion: If you want to have a Red’s full attention, cut the small talk. It’s vital that you’re clear and straightforward. Determine the most essential point of your message and start there. Let’s say that you’re going to present the latest financial statement. Say what’s written on the last line of the slide first—that’s what a Red is sitting there waiting for anyway. Then you can get into the details.

  Don’t use a single word unnecessarily. But make sure you’ve done your homework when it comes to the background. Questions may come up. If a Red senses that you’re uncertain, you’ll be grilled on the facts.

  Written materials should be concise and, above all, well laid out. No endless dissertations written by someone who loves the sound of his own voice. A single line jotted down on the back of the napkin will do the job.

  “I COULDN’T CARE LESS WHAT YOU DID ON VACATION.”

  Reds live in the present. Everything that happens is happening here and now. They have a unique ability to focus on what’s on the current agenda. Thus, you need to stick to the topic when you speak to a Red. He has no problem with creativity or new ideas; this is always appreciated as long as it moves you forward. But when a Red feels that you’ve left the agenda altogether and are beginning to fiddle-faddle, then conflict isn’t that far off.

  The most effective method for a Red is to establish what the problem is and then just get to work. Simple, isn’t it?

  Conclusion: Stick to the topic! The easiest way is to prepare your case very precisely before going into a meeting with a Red. If, in the middle of an interesting discussion, another thought pops into your head, write it down and ask at the end of the meeting if it’s okay to raise the issue. Otherwise, schedule a new meeting.

  If someone with lots of Red in his behavior asks what time it is, answer the question with the exact time. Don’t say that there’s plenty of time. He’ll decide that himself. And again—don’t forget to keep up the pace. For a Red, “speed” will be synonymous with “efficiency.”

  Now we’re talking business—never forget it. Being businesslike in business doesn’t really sound like a novel idea, but think about it. If you’re a seller, you’ve probably attended a number of training courses in sales where you learned that you have to build up a relationship with the customer. Get to know him. Win him over to your side.

  This is good advice. Do it. Build relationships as much as you deem necessary. Just don’t do it with Reds. For example, if you begin a meeting with a Red whom you’ve never met before, nothing could be worse than asking where he lives, where he spent his last vacation, or what he thought of the game last night. Nothing could be more irrelevant to him. He’s not here to chat or make friends. He’s there to do business. Deeply Red individuals become downright irritated and aggressive when they notice that someone is trying to be friends with them.

  A Red is not here to be your pal. He’s only here for one reason—to do business. He might throw you out—figuratively speaking—if he perceives your attempts to be friendly as ingratiation or fawning. This isn’t something he would dream of doing himself, so neither should you.

  And don’t flatter a Red if you don’t know him well. Just leave the compliments at home.

  Conclusion: Paradoxically, Reds are the easiest to sell to. If you want to do good business, the only thing you need to do is step into a Red’s office, present your suggestions, and then ask about a deal. Skip the football game yesterday. Never mind that you saw him in the supermarket last week. He didn’t see you anyway. When a Red trusts you and has decided that you’re a decent person who can be advantageous to him, well, then he may very well start discussing cars, boats, or the latest politics. Play ball with him. But then and only then. And don’t be surprised if the meeting ends mid-sentence. When he’s satisfied with his socializing, he concludes it instantly. It has nothing to do with you. He’s just tired of conversation.

  “YOU DON’T ACTUALLY KNOW? THEN WHY AM I WASTING MY TIME WITH YOU?”

  It may sound like a contradiction, but a Red would also like you to be determined and direct. Although he often demands that he make all the important decisions himself, he strongly dislikes dealing with vacillating people. Dancing the hesitation waltz does not instill trust. Comments like “It’s hard to say,” “It depends,” or “I don’t really know what to say” just frustrate Reds.

  If you have an opinion, out with it. Reds judge you on how driven you are. You should listen to them, of course, but you must have an opinion of your own. Otherwise, you’re weak, and that’s not a quality that will win you any points.

  Keep in mind that we all like people in whom we can recognize ourselves. A Red won’t meet other Reds every day, so when he actually does he’s pleasantly surprised. “An equal! Wonderful!” I have met Reds who have rubbed the
ir hands gleefully before starting a heated debate.

  Conclusion: Deliver your opinion without blinking. In the end, you might have to concede, but never sell yourself short. A Red can rattle and rumble, stamp on the floor, raise his voice, and shake his fist. Many people back off in the face of this behavior. It’s not pleasant to be shouted at, is it?

  Well, the worst thing you can do is back away and let him walk all over you. If a Red is permitted to walk over you, you lose something very important in his eyes—respect. If he doesn’t respect you, he’ll eat you alive. And walk over you again and again and again until you become completely and totally marginalized. You won’t be someone to be reckoned with in the future. A complete doormat.

  The best thing you can do is place yourself in the center of the storm, telling him that he’s wrong. When a Red discovers that you won’t give in, he will turn in an instant. If you know what you are talking about, that is.

  YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE DEAD

  If you have a boss who is Red, he will work hard, maybe harder than anyone else you’ve ever met. He will have many irons in the fire at once, and he’ll have complete control over everything that’s happening.

  A Red can live with the fact that everything won’t be right the first time. But he will demand that you work hard. You should be diligent in everything; feel free to put in overtime if you can. I urge you not to become a workaholic—life has more to offer than work—but from the perceptive of a Red boss, this would be a first-class quality. He will hold you in high esteem if he sees your commitment in the form of hard work.

  Conclusion: Show that you work hard. You don’t need to run into the Red’s office every five minutes, informing him that last night you stayed at work until half past eleven—he might not even be impressed. He might just ask you whether such a trifling little task like that warranted the time you spent on it. But you should report back regularly about what you have done and present—briefly—the result of your efforts.

  Be willing to take initiative. Offer suggestions that the Red didn’t ask for. As usual, get ready for a fight, but he will like that you are driven.

  Please note the wording in the preceding sentence. It doesn’t say that he’ll like you because you are driven. It says “like that you are driven.” A Red boss may very well like you—that’s sometimes the case—but don’t expect lots of glowing and pleasant praise.

  How to Behave When You Meet a Red

  You don’t have to completely adapt to how Reds want you to behave—that would be surrendering. There are several other things you need to keep an eye on in order to achieve the results you want. Because Reds have their faults and failings but often turn a blind eye to them, you can help to achieve a better result if you know how. Here are some points to keep in mind.

  “Details … Boooooring…”

  Essentially, Reds dislike getting into details. It’s boring and takes time. Thus, Reds tend to be careless about small matters. You can accuse Reds of many things, but meticulousness isn’t typically one of them. For them the destination will always be more important than the journey, so Reds will do just about anything to achieve the desired results. Reds won’t naturally stop to consider the small things or analyze their method.

  Conclusion: If you really want to help Reds do better work, try to demonstrate the benefits of keeping an eye on the details. Explain that the results will be better and profits larger if they just consider a couple of small but crucial elements of the project.

  Be prepared for the huff and puff and a general unwillingness to act on your advice. But if you’re good at arguing, your advice will be followed. As we know, Reds are good at pushing themselves to the limit, just as long as they make headway.

  Quick but Often Frightfully Wrong

  As I have written several times before, everything in a Red’s world is usually very urgent. You can figure out for yourself the risks this entails. Putting the pedal to the metal may seem like a good idea, but only when everything else, and most of all everyone else, is on the same train. Normally, Reds rush ahead of the group, only to get annoyed when others can’t keep pace.

  A Red needs someone who can get him to pause and realize that not everyone has grasped the situation as quickly as he has. He’ll never be able to carry out all the phases of a project on his own—even if he believes he can and probably will attempt to. He still needs to have his team with him.

  You’ve probably heard the expression “quick and wrong.”

  Conclusion: Give examples of instances where time was lost by being too hasty. Point out the risks involved in hurrying too much. Explain that others can’t keep up, and point out that it would be great if everyone knew what the project was about. Don’t give in. Assert that not even he can manage everything himself. Force a Red to wait for others.

  Afterwards, try to discuss the event and show clearly and distinctly what was gained and how much the Red has profited by taking things a bit slower.

  “Let’s Try a Few Completely Untested Ideas and See How It Goes.”

  Should we really do that? Red individuals aren’t anxious about risks. Many Reds actively search for risky situations just for the thrill of it. In fact, what others might perceive as dangerous behavior a Red wouldn’t even think of as risky. “Hey, life is risky. You won’t get out of it alive!”

  However, Reds do need someone who can weigh the advantages against the disadvantages. Disadvantages are boring, of course, so a Red individual will often simply ignore them. Since the answer to what risks you take often lies in the details, your approach should be similar to the way you handle discussing details with a Red.

  Conclusion: Reds calculate risks by constantly looking at the facts. Facts are something they understand. Since Reds prefer not to look backwards—old and tiring—and focus on the present and the future, a plain and honest exchange of experiences may be called for.

  Give examples of situations that historically were shown to be dangerous. It can be about business risks, going downhill skiing without a helmet, or calling the boss an idiot. Prove things with facts and demand that the person thinks twice before deciding to take on a new project without first having checked the conditions.

  As usual: You’re right—stick to your guns and don’t give in.

  “I’m Not Here to Be Your Pal. Or Anyone Else’s, for That Matter.”

  Since many Reds are less relationally focused, they’re frequently criticized for insisting that all relationships must take place on their terms, even in private life.

  People around Reds frequently feel that they’re being steamrolled by their friends or coworkers. It’s rarely the Red’s real intention; it’s just something that happens. You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs, and so on.

  Reds may not understand that others are avoiding them because they would rather avoid conflict. This also means that Reds can be excluded from important information. They may not feel excluded if they’re invited for a beer on Friday evening, but it’s far worse for them to feel left out of important decisions. In the worst case, this can lead them to suspect the people around them are deliberately withholding important information. The power struggle is just moments away.

  Conclusion: Reds need to understand that the road to full transparency is to adapt to others. That thought may never even have crossed their minds; they’re mostly focused on themselves and their own thing. But by realizing that no one can manage everything alone, they can be prevailed upon to pause and actually care about other people.

  When a Red understands that many people think it’s important to chat about their child’s first tooth, how the cabin they rented on vacation was furnished, and about the boat they’re dreaming of buying, he can listen actively and contribute to the discussion. Once a Red understands what all this small talk is about, the door is open. You may even learn something about him.

  “What Kind of Weaklings Are You? Just Handle It!”

  Reds just get angry. It can’t be said any clearer
than that. Their temperament is such that it detonates every now and then, causing migraines for everyone around. They don’t notice it happening themselves; screaming a little bit is just another way to communicate.

  No one likes a bully, but not everyone is willing to say so. When a Red tramples on someone’s toes, you must tell him nicely that it doesn’t work like that. He’ll put on an innocent face and pretend that he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. Secretly he’ll be thinking that if some people are afraid of him, well, that’s just tough.

  Conclusion: You should confront his behavior immediately. Don’t allow any exceptions; just say loudly and clearly that you won’t tolerate coarse remarks, nastiness, and uncalled-for tantrums. Demand adult behavior, and if he loses his temper just leave the room. It’s important that you never let him get his way just by barking his head off.

  Just remember that this is a technique—bickering and brawling—that has worked for the Red for many years. As a child, he might have gotten his way by quarreling. More than likely, his family experienced his explosive temperament in his very early years. And you can bet that they just succumbed to avoid the air-raid siren. Very few people have confronted him about this, meaning that the demand for calmer conversations could easily lead to even louder protests. The one thing a Red detests more than anything else is being told that he must lower his voice.