Surrounded by Idiots

by Thomas Erikson

  HE’S THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING, SO YOU SHOULD, TOO

  Being Blue is a little like doing military service: No excuses will be allowed. If you get a flat tire, you should be prepared for it. If there’s a puncture in the spare tire, you must have a plan for that, too. A Blue will have some critical questions if you say something like “That’s just the way it is.” The next time you meet him, his confidence in you will be tarnished.

  Conclusion: Make sure you can show that you’ve done your homework and are well prepared. For example, when a Blue customer or policy maker has a question you should be able to pull out that exact folder from your briefcase. Don’t make a big deal out of knowing the answer. He expected nothing less.

  And—most important—if you don’t have the answer, just say so. Acknowledge that you don’t know. Don’t offer any excuse just to get out of the situation. When the Blue discovers the white lie—and he will—you will fall out of favor. It’s not ideal to have to come back with the answer the next day, but it’s definitely preferable to telling a fib.

  A car salesman I know usually says that when he meets Blue customers he knows from the outset that the customer is more informed about a particular model of car than he, since as a seller he might have fifty models to keep track of. Blue customers don’t ask questions to find things out; they ask to confirm what they already know. So the car salesman doesn’t even try to pretend anymore. If he doesn’t know the answer, he acknowledges it and then finds out. It’s the only way to win a Blue customer’s confidence.

  WE’RE NOT HERE TO HANG OUT AND BE COZY

  This is a given if we’re referring to a working relationship. Stick to the job. Make sure to stay focused on the task at hand. A Blue is not at all interested in your personal preferences or what you think about his choice of car, house, sport, or anything else that is not related to work. He’s there to work. Period.

  I remember once that after about five or six meetings with a personnel manager in a big company I thought I had gotten to know him. We had passed the stage of shaking hands every time, and by now he knew how I preferred my coffee. At the seventh visit it occurred to me to ask him what he planned to do over the holidays. I don’t know what came over me. At first his look became vacant and then his anxious eyes began to wander all over the room. I ended up saying some nonsense to cover up my mistake. I hadn’t told him what I had done on my holidays, either. About four visits later, he informed me gently that he planned to go to Thailand over the new year with his family.

  That was the opening.

  Conclusion: Stick to the task. Work with checklists where factual matters are noted—things you can tick off together with the Blue. If you’re Yellow, put a part of your spontaneity aside. For that matter, put away as much spontaneity as you can. Force yourself to do one thing at a time. Remind yourself that a Blue will rarely or never ask how things are going or show interest in your personal problems. Don’t ask how things are going for him on a personal level, either. The word itself would be his answer: “Personal. This is private. Stay off.” In time he will open up if he wants to. It’s not that he doesn’t like you; he just wants to work first. Accept this and it will go well.

  NO VISION NECESSARY. LET’S ALL STAY IN THE REAL WORLD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  Your Blue friends aren’t flying around up there in the blue, blue sky. They’re on the ground using their critical minds to judge whether things are realistic or not. While you may think they’re boring, suspicious, or downright pessimistic, they believe that they’re only realists. They want to know what reality looks like, not what the world looks like if you’re a dreamer or a visionary.

  I remember once when I was working in the banking world we were having a kickoff event and I wanted to inspire my team to do great things, the likes of which had never before been seen. I finished my rousing speech by exclaiming, “Soon we will stand on top of the peak of success and look down on the market we’ve conquered. We, all of us, will be atop that mountain!” While both Yellow and Red and, to a certain extent, Green employees smiled and were hyped up, the Blues only said one thing: “We can’t imagine ourselves up there. How did we get up there?”

  The Yellows shouted, “Don’t you have any vision?”

  And the Blues replied, “We have Excel.”

  If a plan seems crazy, a Blue will never have any confidence in it. There’s no point in playing on his feelings or trying to promote ideas that are way too wild. What you say needs to have realistic perspectives; otherwise, you won’t get anywhere.

  Conclusion: Think through what you want to say and what you want to convince a Blue to believe. Put daydreams and visions aside. It may even be worth rethinking the kind of language you will use to talk about your plan. Skip all those inspirational speeches that Yellows and Reds adore. Stick to the facts, and be clear.

  If you have an idea that hasn’t been tested before, try to set reasonable goals. Don’t say that you will dominate the market within three months or that the Little League team will win the championship despite having lost all of their matches so far. They’ll only consider you a lunatic. If you have Yellow in your own profile, you should really think twice about how you interact with Blues. You’re already fighting an uphill battle as far as a Blue is concerned. And be careful to avoid any overly dramatic body language.

  DETAILS: FACTS ARE THE ONLY THINGS THAT MATTER

  Details are essential to communicating with a Blue. If you really want to get through to them, you must make sure to be very exact. Carelessness or ignoring the details won’t be appreciated.

  More than one seller has been turned out of a sales visit due to negligence—for failing to know the nitty-gritty details. And remember that it’s not a question of whether the details are crucial for a particular decision or not. They may have no real bearing on the issue at all. But a Blue decision maker simply wants to know.

  He also wants to know exactly. If you’re asked how much a particular product costs, don’t say, “About ten dollars.” Say, “Nine dollars and seventy-three cents.” It’s a precise answer. A Blue is more interested in an exact price than a low price. He may very well negotiate, but he wants to know the precise cost.

  Conclusion: Prepare yourself well. When you think you’re prepared and that you know all there is to know about an issue, go through it all one more time. Make sure you have answers to absolutely everything. Accept that this person might want to have more data to feel secure. Give him the details he needs in order to move on. He’ll always wonder if there’s any more information. But this way, you can keep him calm and, you hope, content.

  THERE’S NO SUBSTITUTE FOR QUALITY

  Quality is what drives a Blue. Everything else is secondary. Everything else he focuses on stems from a deeply rooted desire that everything must be perfect. A Blue is discontented if he’s not allowed to perform his work to an exacting standard. It has nothing to do with what quality of work is actually needed. It’s simply due to his belief that things must always be done the proper way.

  This, of course, takes a huge amount of time. But the advantage is obvious—if you do it right from the beginning, you will avoid having to redo it. This is actually a great way of saving time. But since a Blue does not think in terms of hours, days, or even weeks—but rather in months and years—he doesn’t see the potential downside of his exacting standards. If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing right—and that takes time. It’s as simple as that.

  Conclusion: Be particularly meticulous in your work when trying to impress a Blue; otherwise, he will view you as sloppy and careless. You should be on your guard about expressing yourself using negative terms concerning how the Blue spends too much time just on quality. Use words like “careful control,” “properly inspected,” “the importance of quality.” Avoid criticizing Blues for taking too much time or fussing over details that may be unnecessary. Instead, praise them for their attention to detail and the superior work they do. Let the Blue understand that you are doing qual
ity work and that you understand its value.

  This means that you should prepare very carefully before any meetings with a Blue. He judges you by the merit of the work you create. Not by how funny you are, not by who you know, not by whether or not you invite him to fancy lunches. None of this means anything if you are careless. When you are finished with a task—double-check it. If possible—triple-check. Have someone else look at it. Only then should you show it to your Blue colleague.

  How to Behave When You Meet a Blue

  Just agreeing to a Blue’s initiative would be like driving a car with the parking brake on. Your task is most likely to get things moving, but you can’t just hit the gas. Instead, you need to find the right lever to pull and take off the Blue parking brake.

  A Blue has feelings like everyone else, and he appreciates people. It just looks a little different. Because most of a Blue’s emotions are self-contained, he may seem a little cold. No facial expressions to speak of, no gestures, no emotional expressions at all. Blues often don’t seem interested in other people and simply focus on the issue at hand.

  If we’re sitting in an accounting firm or if we’re trying to solve an important problem in the company, then this is a good approach. But every time other people, especially Yellows or Greens, are involved, a Blue’s tendency to dissociate from others can be problematic. He simply doesn’t realize that other people don’t function in the same way. People want to feel like they can relate to this person. They don’t want to feel like robots.

  Conclusion: Remind him that other people have feelings. Give examples of times when he bruised other people’s feelings—like when he pointed out all the flaws in the neighbor’s new house. Explain that he doesn’t need to express himself critically all the time. Show him that people can take great offense when others criticize their home, car, spouse, or children. Be clear and tell him that being honest isn’t an excuse for being callous and remind him that it isn’t as simple as “saying things as they are.” He didn’t say things as they are. He only said what he thought or believed about a certain thing.

  Point out that constant criticism rarely accomplishes anything. This won’t be an easy task, because he will think that you are wrong. He has every right to criticize and point out errors and flaws. If he sees an error, he can’t just ignore it. You might just have to tell him that he’s being impossible.

  The Devil’s in the Details

  Have you ever listened to a Blue tell an interesting story? Let’s say he got a flat on the highway. He’ll begin by saying that his alarm clock, a Sony, rang a minute earlier because it was Thursday and on Thursdays he gargles a little longer with Listerine—the green kind, since a taste test done by Consumers Union, the largest independent consumer-testing organization in the world, in their bulletin issued last March clearly demonstrated that it’s preferable. Breakfast consisted of two seven-minute eggs and coffee. Nespresso has a new roast, but he didn’t enjoy it. At least 9 percent of the beans were damaged, which made him reflect on how bean structure affects the mouthfeel of the coffee. Then he fetched the newspaper The New York Times, since they had made a special offer, 18 percent discount for three months. At the post office he spoke to his neighbor—who also reads The New York Times—about the best way to take care of the lawn in September. “There’s an interesting website that discusses different types of autumn fertilizer, very fascinating.…”

  Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day!

  Haste is only for sloppy people. We can tell Blues to hurry up, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Speed isn’t an end in itself. Oftentimes, Blues slow down even more when they’re feeling stress, since in a high-stakes situation you really don’t have time to make mistakes. Better to be careful to avoid time-consuming fixes.

  This may be true, but sometimes things are urgent, particularly in our fast-paced society—hurry to work, hurry at work, hurry home from the same job. Hurry in school, in traffic, in the supermarket—everywhere, everything is urgent. I don’t encourage any form of behavior that may lead to stress-related illnesses. But sometimes you have to speed up in order to stay in the race. Outwardly, the Blue is quite unmoved. He works at his own pace without worrying that those around him may burn out from their more hectic pace. They actually have themselves to blame.

  Conclusion: Calmly and methodically tell the Blue that next week he’ll need to work at a faster pace. Explain exactly why this is so important. Establish that you have only forty-eight hours left to complete the project. This time is precious and must be used correctly. Point to the big picture. Give him valid reasons he should go against his instincts.

  You can readily prove your point by highlighting the long-term plan: “We must stay on track or we’ll miss our next deadline.” If, for example, you’re talking about renovating your house, it might be helpful to negotiate in advance when everything will be ready. If the in-laws are arriving in four weeks, then the house must be done by then no matter what. Calculate how many hours can be devoted to the renovations. Decide which activities should be given priority. Make sure the Blue sticks to his schedule and keeps moving forward once he’s completed each task. Otherwise, the risk is that he will spend five hours polishing the finer details—time that he doesn’t have.

  If you have all the time in the world, well, that’s another matter.

  “If It’s in the Book, It Must Be True”

  “Can’t we go by our gut feelings?” Try saying that to a strictly Blue individual and see what happens. Gut feeling is the opposite of rational thought, and nothing could be more foreign to the Blue.

  Wait a minute: Does this mean that you should never use your own intuition if you’re working with Blues? Even Blue individuals have what we call a sixth sense or “nose” for what can be right. The difference is that they don’t trust it because it can, of course, be wrong. The problem is that it’s impossible to prove anything with the help of gut feeling. The only thing that counts is the facts. And even the facts might not be enough—there may be more information out there that would change everything!

  Conclusion: Tell your Blue friend that if he has to make a decision without all the facts, he can follow his gut. This can apply to work or ordering at a new restaurant. Speak clearly and loudly to the Blue, and explain that if he doesn’t make a decision he’ll end up going hungry. Prove that it’s better to do something rather than remaining paralyzed, waiting for more information.

  Point out that that it’s logical to use intuition in this situation because you don’t have all of the facts. Explain that the results will still be good—maybe just 95.3 percent of what they could be but still good. Help him to calculate risk but also to move on.

  Decisions Made Here

  Because the Blue experiences the decision itself as less important than the path to the decision, stagnation can occur. After painstakingly collecting facts and meticulously studying all available conditions, you finally come to the moment of truth—the decision. There is a risk that everything can deadlock. On the one hand … but on the other hand …

  A project manager I met a few years ago wanted to buy a new car. For eight months he test-drove sixteen different makes. Over fifty different models in different combinations: different engines, bodies, transmissions, interiors, colors. He tried everything. Fabric versus leather upholstery. Gas versus diesel. Automatic versus manual. He did calculations on fuel consumption and depreciation and gave different graphs to respective car salesmen for an evaluation. After considerable internal torment, he bought a Volvo V70, then the country’s most popular car, in metallic silver, the most popular color at that time. This particular model was the most tested car of all by the various consumer agencies that year. You would think he could have picked that car just by reading about it.

  “Why did you go and buy the most common, boring car after all that research?” everyone asked. “Why not?” he replied.

  You can help with a Blue’s decision stagnation. Provide him with the crucial piece to the puzzle. So
ftly and gently, try to steer him in the right direction or, in any case, in a direction.

  Conclusion: Pay attention to when the decision process stalls out. Suppose, for example, two equally strong candidates have applied for an opening at your company. So far, everything has gone well. The Blue decision maker has submitted detailed information via email and kept everyone informed about the necessary steps. The process has been followed to the letter.

  In order to get something to happen, provide the decision maker with the necessary data required for him to make a decision about one of the candidates. Push him to make a choice. Remind him that the deadline is approaching. Point out the repercussions of delaying the decision—the quality of the company’s work will suffer if he doesn’t hire a new employee. Explain that everything has been properly considered and that, regardless of which candidate he chooses, all the risks have been eliminated.

  In Conclusion

  Now you have some basic information about how you can interact with the different colors so that you can get to where you want to go. The first step is to try to tune into the frequency of others and then adapt to them. In this way, you gain their trust and they are able to recognize themselves in you.

  So the basic rule is to meet a Red with Red behavior, Yellow with Yellow, Green with Green, and finally Blue with Blue. You may think that it sounds simple. The difficulty comes, for example, if you are Yellow and must adapt to a Blue. You might need more training here. It depends on what color you are, how strong your self-awareness is, and how willing you are to make headway with a specific contact in your everyday life. You can always do what Adam did—you can continue being yourself.