Bear's Heart

by Corie Weaver

  “I am sorry, I know this sounds absurd, but it is what they looked like.”

  Maggie shrugged. “It sounds pretty normal. Not much to go on for figuring out the place, but you’re right, that’s probably my world.”

  I blinked and wondered about her world and how strange it must be. Why wonder, I thought. Soon enough I would go see for myself. My stomach knotted.

  I closed my eyes again, tried to find more details for her to use to identify the scene. “The people walk on hard stone paths and in the middle of the paths there is a grassy area, very green, and people lay or sit on the grass and they talk, but some of them have those book things, like you showed us in the fall."

  Maggie interrupted. “School books, or just regular books?"

  I shrugged, my eyes still closed. “What is the difference? They look much like what you showed us after your school started, thick and bulky.

  “Large buildings sit across the green grass and shaped something like the buildings of the village, but too tall, too solid, not right.

  “And in the middle of the green area there is a little pond, with a tiny island in it. Trees grow closely on one side of the pond and a rock juts out into the water from beneath them.

  “A flock of ducks swims through the water, though it is not very clean-looking water, and chase each other for scraps of bread.”

  Jack laughed.

  “Jack, what’s so funny?” Maggie’s voice was sharp.

  “Don’t you get it? Where she’s describing?”

  Maggie sighed. “No, I don’t, not yet. But I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

  “Jack,” I cut in. “Do you know where this is?”

  “Sure. So does Maggie.”

  She glared at him.

  “Ducks, in a pond. With students on the grass and buildings all around. Maggie, it’s the duck pond at the university where Dad works.”

  She gasped. “You’re right. You’ve got to be right.” Then she looked quizzically at Jack. “How can you remember that? They’ve only let me take you a couple times.”

  He grinned. “Ducks. I tend to remember places with ducks.”

  Now we had a starting place, a beginning to the thread.

  “Maggie, will you go with me to this place? And help me as I work?”

  “Of course I will,” she responded.

  Jack shook his head. "Sorry, but you can't."

  "What do you mean? I'm helping," she broke off and her eyes widened. “Oh, no.”

  My heart sank.

  She said in a quiet low voice, “Bear Girl, I can only help in the afternoons, maybe only for an hour or two each day. School is in session now. The only reason I can stay here so long is that time moves differently in this place. I can be here for days and only a little time has passed at home.”

  Maggie’s face brightened again. “It’s Sunday afternoon now. If you could wait a few more days, it would be the weekend again and I could help.”

  I shook my head. “Thank you. But I need to go as soon as possible and with the difference in time between our worlds, that might be weeks here. If I have not found anything on my own by the time you can help me, I will gladly accept.”

  Two things now to make my heart sink further. I would be on my own and I would have to move even more quickly than I had imagined. While I did not know exactly how the time difference worked, if every hour in Maggie’s world counted for several here, my time would be limited indeed.

  I shook my head, as upset by the idea of working alone as the issue with the time.

  Ash spoke up. “I told you I would go with you, Bear Girl.”

  I glanced at him. His face was set, hard. I knew what this would cost him. I feared to be alone in that strange world, but . . . “Ash, I release you from your promise. I know where to go now. You could not help me there further. You would be much more assistance here, making sure all stays well with the village.”

  A mixture of guilt and relief crossed his face and after a moment, he nodded in agreement.

  So, that was that. I would leave and go on my own.

  “I’ll go with you.”

  The voice from the shadowed corner startled me from my black mood.

  “Jack?” Maggie’s wide eyes betrayed her shock.

  I turned and looked at him.

  He shrugged. “I don’t need to be in school, there’s not much for me to do here, and it’s sort of boring sitting around waiting for you to come home.” His look became challenging. “Why shouldn’t I go help her?”

  Maggie blinked. “It’s not safe! And how can you help her? You don’t know the city either.”

  “I know it better than he does,” Jack pointed with his chin towards Ash, “and I’m the one who recognized the duck pond. I do watch where we’re going when we’re out.”

  “Yes, you watch because you want to stick your head out of the window!”

  Jack’s eyes narrowed. “I watch because I’m interested. There’s not a lot for me to do there. Traveling, doing things, is exciting. What do you think I do all day when you’re gone?”

  “I don’t know, I’m gone!”

  “You could have asked. It’s not like it would have been hard for you to ask me now.”

  Maggie looked down.

  I stared between the two of them. I had never dreamed to see them quarrel like this. Jack looked different somehow, but in the poor light and in my tired state of mind I could not put my finger on what exactly.

  “I wait. I sleep on the bed, because there’s nothing else to do. There’s no one to let me in and out, so I can’t even check out to see if anything is going on in the yard. Every day, for hours, I wait.

  “And now, there’s something I can do to help, something that would be useful, and you don’t want me to?” Jack’s voice lowered. “Let me ask you one thing, Maggie. Do you still think you own me?”

  Maggie’s face paled.

  “Of course I don’t own you. But you’re still my, oh, I don’t know! I just don’t want anything to happen to you. And I didn’t know you were so unhappy, I didn’t.”

  Tears ran down her cheek and she dashed them away furiously.

  Jack’s voice softened. “I’m not unhappy when we’re off doing things. I’m not. But I’m different now. I didn’t mind waiting so much before last summer, but the more time I spend as a boy, the more I think like a human. Dogs don’t have much of a sense of time. We get bored, sure, but it usually doesn’t wear on and on. Imagine if you were locked up in the same place for eight hours, every day. You can’t read, you can’t watch television, there’s no one to talk to, nothing to do, but sleep and stare out the window and wait to be rescued. And you know that even if you’re rescued, you’ll be locked up again the next day.”

  He looked away. “Everything is different now; I don’t know how to explain it. But I didn’t mean to upset you. I guess we should have talked about this a long time ago.”

  Maggie crawled over to where he sat and hugged him. “I’m sorry. I should have thought about how this would change things. When you’re a boy, I do think of you as a boy. Even as a dog, you’re still my kid brother. I’d do anything to keep you from being unhappy.”

  She sat back on her heels, face set. “And that also means doing anything to keep you safe. I don’t know what is going on, I don’t know who Bear Girl is going to fight and I don’t want you to go with her. What if something were to happen to you? How would I . . .” she stopped, hair over her face and ducked her head.

  Jack patted her head and looked over her bent back to me, as if seeking advice. I wanted nothing more than to keep out of this argument, but knew that was the coward’s road.

  “Maggie, look at me.” She sniffled, then looked up. “I do not want to put Jack in any danger either. I do not know where I will be going or whom I will be facing. If I understand correctly, Jack will only be able to be in his dog form in your world, yes?”

  She nodded and straightened a little more.

  “Could he at least gu
ide me to the pond?”

  Maggie thought, nodded again.

  She turned to Jack. “Would that be okay?”

  He shrugged.

  “If you tell me how to find your home, I will make sure to bring him back safely after he shows me the pond.”

  I turned to Jack, who had retreated into the shadows. “If this is agreeable to you, I would value your companionship, Jack.”

  ~ * * * ~

  Once the decision had been made Maggie became a whirl of activity. She pulled out a book of paper from her backpack and started making lists.

  “To get there, you’ll need to take the bus. Heck, you can’t take the bus with Jack. I have some money saved up, so you can take a taxi to the duck pond while you have him and afterwards, you can use the bus. I’ll need to get you some bus maps and notes about the city.”

  I hated to stop her, but had to ask. “Maggie, do you have such a map with you?” She looked confused. “I do not know if I can read your writing. My people do not write; I do not know if it would be useful to have this map.”

  Her shoulders fell, then she took on a look of determination.

  “I’ll draw cards for you with the bus numbers and you can match the pictures and when you get on just tell the driver where you want to go.”

  “Maggie? I’m sure this will work.” I paused, not wishing to appear foolish. “But tell me, what is a bus?”

  Chapter Seven

  As the day wore on Jack and Maggie left us to fetch me clothing and other things I would need. Jack had not spoken since their fight.

  I spent the rest of the day preparing my young assistants as best as I could, then paced the roughly carved underground tunnels, helpless, unsure of what I could do while I waited.

  Ash found me there.

  “Bear Girl, what can I do? How can I help?”

  I stopped, stared blankly. “I want more than anything to go to my family, to tell them what I have found here, that I am all right.” I closed my eyes. “And I can do none of that.” I opened my eyes again. “So, what I want will wait.”

  Ash smiled. “This, at least, I can do. You altered your plans so I would be able to remain with my mother during her illness. I can make the trip to your family’s home. I will leave now while you are still here and then be back quickly.”

  My chest relaxed; I felt as if I had just now taken my first full breath in days.

  “Please. Tell them we have a good plan and . . .”

  Ash laughed.

  I smiled back. “You and I know our plan is not complete, or even truly started. But they do not need to know that. Tell them I am fine and will return as soon as I can.”

  After he left, I sat in the room where the four of us had made our plans. If Spider Old Woman was right, I could not afford to waste the chance for another clue.

  ~ * * * ~

  Isabel walked throughout the pathways of the pueblo as it spread out from the mission. An old man sat in the sun on a wooden stool, resting his back against the warm adobe wall of his home.

  “Good morning, sir. Have you seen Tomás?”

  The old man opened his eyes and smiled.

  “Ah, daughter of my daughter. It is good to see you home.”

  Isabel squirmed. “I have been here for three years, grandfather.”

  “You have been in the mission for three years. And before that, you lived with your father, the Spaniard. He took a flower of our women for his wife and left for his ranch. My daughter never returned to us. You were born far away, child, but you are still a child of the people. Do not forget that.”

  Isabel said nothing, but looked past the man, over his head into the distance.

  The old man sighed. “But you do not want to hear this. You think you are Spanish, all the way through. So be it. I will not tell you different.”

  Isabel flushed, lowered her eyes. “I do not deny my people, either of them. I do not see why it is important to make such a big concern of the past, that is all.”

  The old man shook his head. “I hope you never have to understand.” He stood. “Tomás is speaking with some others. They are discussing things of the village and should not be disturbed.”

  Isabel’s shoulders dropped and she turned to walk away.

  “Do not go yet, child. Your mother was very gifted. She could see the other worlds, could talk with the spirits and they would hear her. We hope to see that in you, the talent to see, to hear, to speak.”

  “Sir, I do not have such power. I have never heard anything I did not think was from this world.”

  He shook his head. “You may not have known what to listen for. I am sure Josefa did not teach you.”

  Isabel’s back straightened. “Do not speak ill of my mother. She was a good woman and taught me much.”

  The old man slumped back down. “But my daughter did not teach my granddaughter everything she might need to face the coming years. And for that I am sorry.”

  “Isabel!” A younger man’s voice rang out and she spun around towards the speaker.

  Tomás ran towards her, grabbed her arm, bent his head low over hers as if to whisper . . .

  ~ * * * ~

  The vision faded and I had no more information than before, only suspicions about the girl. I was sure somehow the wind centered on the girl, perhaps she was the one who caused it. I nodded, weighed the words in my mind. This made sense. I would go to Maggie’s world, find the girl, discover why she had summoned the wind and then return home. This time I had tried to pay attention to her clothing, how she moved. Her long skirts and full blouses looked different from anything I’d ever seen Maggie wear. That would make her easier to find.

  I knelt again before a thick, furry bundle. My coat.

  Maggie had explained it would be impossible to wear my coat in public in her world; that people would rather believe I had killed the bear whose skin I wore than the truth.

  I could not travel there in bear shape. And there would be no safe place to leave it. Maggie had offered to hide it in her room, but I worried her parents would come across it and questions would arise which she could not answer.

  So it must stay here, safe in the keeping of Ash’s people. I did not worry about the coat, did not fear they would try to burn it to trap me, or other such foolishness. But I had never gone without it for so much as a day, much less left it somewhere. I gathered it in my arms to take to the chamber in which Ash’s mother lay.

  “Bear Girl?” Maggie’s voice sounded soft as a whisper. I had not heard her or Jack enter the room behind me while I knelt there. “Are you going to be all right without your coat?”

  I nodded, turned to face them. “I will be fine.”

  Maggie lay down the packs she carried, drew things out, then stopped. “I’ve always wondered . . . Do you mind if I ask?”

  “I cannot imagine a question of yours bothering me, but ask what?”

  She bit her lips together, then continued. “Are you a girl in a bear shape, or a bear who wears a girl shape?”

  I stared at her for so long that she stuttered an apology.

  “No, Maggie, I do not mind the question. It is simply I have never thought about it before. This is who I am, both shapes.”

  She looked down at her knees and I wondered if she was asking about me, or about Jack, who sat behind her, still silent.

  Maggie identified the different items she brought, the maps, clothing and some slips of paper she said I would need to trade for food.

  “I know this is a lot to learn all at once,” she apologized.

  I laughed. “My parents expect me to remember the seven uses of a plant after first being shown it. To be able to recite the eleven cures for a fever and to know where each cure can be found, in what season, and what part of the plant to use.”

  I waved my hand over the pile of objects. “This is new to me, yes and I do not always understand the reasoning. But do not fear my ability to remember what you teach me. You are far more patient than my parents.”

  �
�Probably because I’m in school, too, and know what it’s like. Though . . . I could probably miss just a day or so. Other kids play hookey, skip school,” she added, seeing my confusion, “all the time, and it would make this easier.”

  “No!” Jack’s voice startled us both. “You will not skip school. You couldn’t tell Mom and Dad why if they caught you. You know it’s important to go. If it wasn’t important, they wouldn’t make you do it.”

  “He is right, Maggie. Your first instinct was that you could not go with me. Follow that instinct. There may be a reason for Jack and me to do this together.”

  Maggie forced a smile at Jack. “I’ll have to act like you ran away for the afternoon if you’re not back before they get home. You know they’ll notice you missing.”

  Jack looked uncomfortable. “I don’t want to make them worry. But we both know they’ll worry a lot less about me being gone than they would about you.”

  An uncomfortable silence covered us all. As much as I did not want my friends to fight, I could not afford the time, either.

  “Please, I think we have settled this, it is just that we are not completely happy with the answer. Let us continue with what I need to know.”

  Jack and I planned to leave as soon as we could. He left the room while I changed into the clothing Maggie had brought. She helped me with the new garments. The pants—— “jeans” she called them——bound my legs, tight and uncomfortable. Maggie laughed and said they fit well and were supposed to look as they did.

  I seldom liked to wear leggings at all; these felt terrible. She showed me the new shoes, tight around my feet, with soles so thick I tripped when I forgot to lift my feet high enough.

  The short shirt and jacket were not too different from my own clothing, at least tolerable. Maggie had brought a backpack, like the one she carried and had packed full of things, the purposes of which she hastily explained to me.