Lessons Learned

by Earl Sewell

  “Yeah, it is. Man. I wish there was something I could do.” He sounded so sad.

  “You’re listening and that’s good enough for right now. I’ll keep you posted as to how things are going, okay?”

  “Okay. You make sure that you’re careful and don’t let your mom drive you crazy.” Wesley laughed a little.

  “You worry about taking care of yourself and staying out of trouble with the gangs,” I said to him. We chatted a little longer and then finally gave each other kisses over the phone before saying good-night.

  When Saturday morning rolled around, everyone piled in to the car and we drove back to my old neighborhood. The moment we turned onto my old street and I saw the old building I used to live in, chills ran down my spine.

  “Oh, we cannot leave her in this neighborhood, Jordan,” Barbara said. I could hear the uneasiness in her voice.

  “What choice do we have right now?”

  “Keysha,” Barbara turned around in her seat and looked at me. “If you don’t want to go in there just say the word and we’ll keep on going.” I thought about it for a long moment but then decided it was probably best if I stayed. Barbara didn’t know my mother the way I did. She’d have a fit if I didn’t show up and cause the entire family grief over a little of nothing.

  “If she does anything—and I do mean anything that puts you in harm’s way—you let us know,” said Jordan as he parked the car.

  “This neighborhood doesn’t look so bad,” said Mike who’d never been in the hood his entire life.

  “It’s cold outside, Mike. In the summertime, a lot of stuff happens. You could be sitting on the porch minding your own business and some fool will roll by in a car and start shooting for no reason at all. It happens all of the time,” I said. He was so naive.

  “Stuff like that doesn’t really happen.”

  “Don’t you ever watch the news?”

  Mike opened his mouth to deny my claim once again but then thought before he spoke.

  “Thought so,” I said to him just to drive my point home.

  We all got out of the car and walked up to the building. Jordan searched the names on the slips next to the doorbells to find out which one to ring.

  “You’ll never find it that way,” I said. “The names are probably all wrong.” I stepped up to the doorbells and pressed all of them and waited for someone to answer.

  “Yeah,” I heard the voice of a man.

  “Is Justine there?” I asked.

  “Naw. Wrong doorbell. Try the last one from the bottom,” he said.

  “Who is it?” the voice of a woman asked.

  “Justine?” I asked.

  “No. Her’s is the last doorbell from the bottom. It might not be working,” said the woman.

  “This is ridiculous,” said Barbara who’d grown very impatient with this entire process.

  “I know, but that’s just the way it is,” I said.

  “What the hell are you ringing my door bell for?” the angry voice of a woman shouted at us. I recognized the voice right away. It was Toya, my old girlfriend who tried to cut me with a razor the last time I saw her. I didn’t say anything. I just rang the one that everyone said belonged to Justine. There was silence so I rang it again. Still no one answered.

  “Her doorbell must be broken,” said Jordan.

  I exhaled loudly with frustration. “Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.” I stepped away from the door, looked up at the tall building and yelled out my mother’s name as loudly as I could. “Justine!” I shouted out.

  A moment later a window opened up and Justine stuck her head out. “Hey, Keysha,” she said with a smile.

  “We’re here.”

  “Okay. I’ll be right down.” Justine closed the window and I walked back up the steps to where everyone was standing.

  Barbara mumbled under her breath; she was without a doubt irritated beyond words. A moment later Justine came downstairs to open the door. She had on a pair of baggy jeans and an oversize blue sweatshirt.

  “Oh, I didn’t know everybody was coming over to drop you off,” Justine said. I had to admit she did look better than she did when I last saw her.

  “I can’t believe that you slept with her,” Barbara uttered beneath her breath as she gave Jordan a nasty look that said she wanted to knock his head clean off his shoulders.

  “Not now, Barbara,” Jordan said through gritted teeth. “We fought about this all night long. I was young and stupid when I met her.”

  “How are y’all doing?” My mother tried to be cordial in a very awkward situation. It was painfully clear that none of us liked her very much. “Nice to see everybody,” Justine said with a phony smile. “Well, come on up and get out of the cold. Your cousin Simon is here,” Justine said to my father, but no one responded to her announcement.

  Once we reached her apartment door we stepped inside. The small apartment hadn’t changed at all. The place still felt more like a big square box rather than a studio apartment. On the right wall was an old white stove that looked as if it’d come from the Stone Age. The refrigerator with a chrome handle, next to the stove, was just as ancient. There was a white bassinet sitting in the center of the floor along with a blue diaper bag. Simon was sitting on a sofa near the back of the room holding the baby.

  “You all will have to forgive me. I gave the maid the day off,” Justine laughed nervously. “I don’t live all big and fancy like you guys do. I’m just doing what I can and making it the best way that I know how.”

  I looked at both Barbara and Jordan who had their noses wrinkled up. For some reason I felt as if their sour looks were directed toward me. I felt the need to say something on my mother’s behalf. Don’t ask me why. I just did.

  “She’s trying,” I said to them. “She’s really trying. I can see that now.”

  “What’s up, man?” Simon said as he stood up to bring the baby over so that everyone could see baby Flip. “I was trying to deny that this was even my baby but you know them blood tests don’t lie. Isn’t that funny? We’re cousins and we both have babies by the same woman,” Simon laughed.

  “You would be happy over something you should be ashamed of, Simon.” Barbara wasn’t amused at all. I could tell she was having a difficult time containing her anger.

  “It is what it is, Barbara. I wouldn’t expect you to understand any of this,” said Simon, who was obviously offended.

  “You know what, honey? Let’s just say what we have to and then come on back to pick up Keysha. I know that she can handle herself but I want Justine to know that if so much as a hair on her head is harmed, I will put her under the jailhouse,” Jordan threatened.

  “Jordan. There isn’t even any place for us to sit down and have a conversation. There’s just the one musty-looking sofa over there. This must be that ghetto-fabulous living that I hear so much about,” Barbara said snidely.

  “We’re going to get some new furniture, okay? As soon as I get this job I applied for with UPS. I’m going to buy us some furniture and move into a bigger place. We’re going to make it, man. Just watch,” said Simon, who was clearly embarrassed by his living situation.

  “Look. Mike and I will wait out in the hallway while you guys talk for a minute, okay?” I needed to get out of there. I needed to get away from all of the nasty remarks and ill feelings that were in the room. Mike picked up on my hint and followed me out into the hallway.

  “So this is how you were living?” he asked me once we were a few steps away from the door.

  “I’ve lived in worse places,” I said. “Sometimes you just have to make the best of it,” I said, trying not to let myself fall into a deep depression.

  “I’d go crazy if I had to live in a place that small. I didn’t even see a bathroom in there. That place is too small for one person, let alone four people.”

  “So you know that I will not be spending any nights over here anytime soon,” I said as a rubbed my fingers through my hair.

  “You’d hav
e to sleep standing up if you did.” Mike started laughing.

  “Keysha? Is that you?” I looked down the hallway and saw Toya heading toward us. She was twirling her shoulder-length hair and chewing gum. She had on a pair of black shorts but no underwear. I could tell by the way her behind was jiggling uncontrollably as she walked toward us. She also had on a black tank top without a bra and a pair of large hoop earrings with matching bracelets. Everything on her was jiggling around and clanking.

  “Oh, God. She’s the last person I want to see,” I said.

  “Why? What’s up with old girl? She looks hot.” Mike seemed to think that Toya’s jiggling body was an aphrodisiac.

  “You’re just on fire if you think that’s hot. Toya and I have got a bad history,” I said. As Toya approached, I nervously awaited to see if she’d come out of a bag on me.

  “Hey, girl,” she said and then gave me a hug. I inhaled her low-priced perfume that was so overpowering that it opened up my sinuses. She must’ve picked up a bottle from the neighborhood Arab-owned store where you can purchase liquor and perfume in one place. “How have you been? And where have you been? I heard you ended up in a homeless shelter.” Toya glanced at Mike then back at me to await my answer.

  “Yeah. I was in a bad place for a minute but I got out of there. What about you? Did you get Junior back from Family Services?” I asked.

  “Yeah, girl, I’ve been had him back. If the truth were to be told, the family services can take his little bad butt again if they want to.” She laughed. I wanted to bring up the fight we’d had the last time we were together but unless Toya brought it up, I saw no need to.

  “Do you have a baby yet?” Toya asked me

  “No way. I’m not going out like that,” I said.

  “Let me get this straight. You have a baby?” Mike asked.

  “And who is this, Keysha?” Toya looked Mike up and down as if she wanted to eat him alive. “I’m thirsty and you’ve got this tall drink of water standing next to me. Is this your man, girl?”

  “No, he’s my brother,” I said peeping what Toya was up to.

  “Damn, girl. Your brother is fine!” Toya said as she laughed and began to feel on Mike’s massive arms. “And solid too. Is everything on you solid?”

  “Mike, this is Toya. Toya, this is my brother, Mike. And back off, Toya. He’s not for you.” I said feeling very territorial. Toya stopped touching on him for the moment.

  “What’s up with you, girl?” Mike asked Toya. He’d completely ignored what I’d just said to Toya.

  “You, baby,” Toya giggled. “You got a shorty?”

  “I’m not really tied down to anybody,” Mike said as he licked his lips.

  I thought, Oh God. I know Mike isn’t going to try and mack Toya.

  “Forget about it, Toya. He’s only fifteen,” I said hoping that would slow her hot behind down. I was also hoping to calm Mike’s horny behind down as well.

  “Only fifteen? He looks like he’s at least eighteen or nineteen,” Toya said as she started feeling on Mike’s arm again. “You must work out everyday,” she said.

  “Yeah, I do,” Mike said as he flexed his muscle for her. “Because of my size, people seem to think that I’m older than I am.”

  “If you lived around here, girls and grown women would be fighting over you,” Toya teased.

  “Is that right?” Mike licked his lips again and grinned hard at Toya. I noticed how his eyes kept falling into the valley of her jiggling breasts. “Then maybe I need to visit your neck of the woods a little more often.”

  “Maybe you do. Because I’d serve you up and make your toes curl, baby.” Toya hadn’t known my brother for three whole minutes and already she was offering up a good time.

  What a ho, I thought. “Were you heading somewhere?” I asked her.

  “Girl, where I was headed to can wait. I was just going to check the mailbox,” Toya said as she continued to play with her hair and smile at Mike.

  “Mike does not want anything to do with you,” I said.

  “I think he does,” Toya shot back nastily. “You don’t know what he wants, Keysha. I think he sees something over here that he likes. Do you see anything that you like, Mike?” Toya asked him as she pushed her breasts toward his face. “Because if you do, you need to let me know what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

  “Oh, I most definitely have to come and hang out in your neck of the woods.” Mike got all giddy just because Toya was seducing him. I couldn’t believe that he was actually falling for a girl like Toya who is nothing but a snake in the grass.

  “So, are you moving back into the building with your mother, Keysha? Toya asked.

  “Nah. I’m just here for a visit,” I answered.

  “Well, damn, girl. Make sure you bring your brother back around. I’m always in the house looking for something to get into or for something to get into me.” Toya and Mike laughed at the double meaning of her words. “The next time you come around Mike, I’ll put you on my to-do list. You know what I mean?” Toya stuck the tip of her index finger between her lips and sucked on it like a lollipop.

  “Where is Junior’s daddy at? Are you still messing around with him? And does he still make money by stealing cars?” I asked, hoping Mike would pick up on the fact that she had a man who was a thug. But he didn’t because his eyes were transfixed on her wet finger and moist lips.

  “Junior’s daddy doesn’t own me. I’m my own woman. I come and go as I please and do whatever it is that I want. And however he makes his money is his business. Just as long as he takes care of his son’s needs, I don’t care how he does it.”

  “Yeah, right. You know that you’re still crazy about that boy. I can’t imagine you breaking up with him,” I said, feeling my old self come back.

  “You’ve been gone awhile, Keysha. Stuff happens and things change.” Toya didn’t even look at me when she said that. Her eyes were transfixed on Mike.

  “So he isn’t really around, right?” Mike asked.

  “My baby daddy doesn’t have a thing to do with whatever you and I decide to get into.”

  Mike couldn’t stop grinning at Toya and it was irritating the hell out of me. Why wasn’t he picking up on my hints? I was aggravated with both of them. Mike took Toya’s hand into his own and began kissing and sucking her already wet finger. My stomach turned at the sight of that. “Oh, that’s just nasty,” I said.

  “Ooh, you’re a freak.” Toya laughed with delight as she twirled her finger around in his mouth.

  “You know, we’ll be back over this way next Saturday. You got any plans for next weekend?” Mike asked.

  “Only the plans that you and I make,” Toya answered.

  “So can I get your number or what?” Mike asked as he pulled out his iPhone.

  “Damn, honey. You got an iPhone? You must have some money,” Toya said excitedly as she leaned closer to him to check his phone out.

  “I’m not hurting if that’s what you mean,” Mike said and waited for Toya to give him her number.

  “I’m going to give you the number to my pre-pay phone. So you can’t be calling me and talking for a long time unless you give me some money to put some more minutes on it,” Toya batted her eyes at Mike and he sucked up the attention that she was giving him.

  “I tell you what. I’m going to give you twenty bucks so that you can put some time on that phone because I’m definitely going to be calling you to talk about that to-do list of yours.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said to Mike who then turned to me.

  “Why don’t you go on back inside and see how your mom is doing so I can handle my business with Toya,” he said and turned back to Toya.

  “What? Do you call yourself dismissing me?” I asked.

  “Keysha, come on. Just give me a minute of privacy here,” Mike pleaded.

  “You know what, Mike? I’m going to say this loud and clear so that both of you hear me. Mike, Toya is out of your league.”

&n
bsp; “Keysha, get out of my face,” Mike said.

  “Yeah, Keysha,” Toya added. “Just chill, girl. I know you didn’t expect to bring him around here and not have somebody try to step to your fine ass brother. It’s better if I do it than some deranged girl who won’t know how to treat a fine man.”

  “Mike is not all that. He’s just a spoiled—”

  “Keysha!” Mike stopped me mid-sentence. “Go.” He pointed in the direction of my mother’s small apartment.

  “Fine. Whatever, Mike. Do you,” I said and walked back inside the apartment.

  twelve

  MIKE

  Sunday, February 17th

  Toya was the kind of girl who knows exactly what I need, I thought to myself as I entered the workout room Sunday afternoon after church and turned on the radio. I grooved to the music and even did a couple of dance steps real quick because the vibing beat moved me in that way. When I was finished being silly, I went over to one of the blue mats that was situated in a corner of the room and rested on my back. I began doing crunches so that my six-pack abs stayed tight and didn’t get flabby.

  In between sets I rested and thought about Toya and how delicious she looked to me. She was the type of girl who got right to the point, said what was on her mind, and didn’t play around and tease me the way Sabrina had. Yeah, Toya was most certainly a girl that I wanted to kick it with, especially since she already had a baby. The fact that she had a son said to me that she wasn’t going to get me all worked up and then chicken out on me.

  I hated Sabrina for doing me that way. Although all that madness happened about six weeks ago, my mind still trips out from time to time on how Sabrina played me. But I got her back after what she’d done. When I saw her at school, I made her feel really bad about it. Then I broke up with her, right in the middle of the hallway near her locker, just after dismissal. It was a very public break up but I didn’t care because she’d really ticked me off.

  “Mike, don’t do this, please,” she’d pleaded with me when I told her that I was through with her.