Dreamlander

by Samantha Liddell

  Chapter Five

  Mind over matter

  I awoke in the morning to the sound of two big black crows squawking outside my bedroom window. Just as Scott and I had done while sleeping in this very same bed not so long ago, if that had even happened. Was that just another dream as well? The sun was streaming through the gap of my curtain, my eyes straining to adjust as I slowly opened them.

  Polly and Leah had snuck into my bed in the early hours of the morning for mummy cuddles. I let them stay as I needed the company. The thought of Scott not lying next to me made me feel cold and empty. Polly and Leah were very happy to have their mummy home and we had spent a long time catching up on lost time.

  I asked them about Scott and how they met him, hoping they would say, “on the airplane on the way to Scotland mummy.” But instead they said what I didn't want to hear. “At the hospital mummy, he was your nurse while you were sleeping. He told us he is the biggest Outlander fan now just like you, but even more than you are,” Polly told me. I was shocked, “Oh did he now?” I tried to keep it light-hearted and fun. “That’s just not possible girls, everyone knows I am the world’s biggest Outlander fan, I always was and always will be,” I joked.

  Deep down I was intrigued though. How did I already know that Scott had said that, and how he used to tease me about who was the biggest fan out of the both of us? Things just weren’t adding up. The only way to find any answers was to go to Scotland and find them out myself, I decided.

  My parents would not approve of me going so soon after leaving the hospital, but with every day that went by I grew more and more frustrated and angry that I didn't have the answers to my questions. My recovery was not going to get any better until I did.

  Scott was due to do a home visit sometime that week, although I had not heard from him to find out what day. I decided to try and forget about him and focus on organising my trip to Scotland instead, and truly finding myself this time as this had been the whole point in handing in my notice at my job on the day of my accident.

  After a long disagreement and debate with my parents about going to Scotland, they finally agreed to look after Polly and Leah for the two weeks I would be away. Sophie would also be around to help. She wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon with the fact that her so-called boyfriend James that she was so in love with was here.

  It was still hard to get my head around it all. James, her boyfriend and the guy that pushed me off the road and put me in a coma for six months. Lucky for him that within those six months I had somehow done a lot of travelling., This had in fact broadened my mind, which made it easier to forgive him. It was still strange seeing him with Sophie as I had only known her to be with the one and only James that I had met while in my coma, while in another world, another universe, another dimension, another decade, or even maybe a parallel universe.

  As time went by more and more possibilities were coming to mind as to where I had actually been for the last six months. One thing I knew for certain though was that Scott had been there right beside me, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

  Chapter Six

  Confession

  As I opened up my bedroom curtain thinking I would be presented with a glorious sunny Australian morning, I was instead greeted with grey, dark skies. The clouds looked heavy and bursting with rain that wanted to break free from the cloud’s restraints. It was a bit how I felt about Scotland, I laughed to myself. Here the rain wanted to escape and go on an adventure and see what planet Earth had to offer, just how I felt about Scotland, I laughed to myself again.

  It wasn’t the ideal weather to be taking off to Scotland in today. However, my ticket was booked and I was due to fly out later that afternoon. Soon I would be boarding that plane on a journey to find answers if there were any answers to be found that was.

  Polly and Leah had just been getting used to their mummy being back home and almost at 100% health, and here I was leaving again. I didn’t feel much like the mother of the year but I would only be gone for two weeks this time and I needed to go to find answers so I could move on and be the mother I used to be before the accident. After a lengthy conversation they understood and were excited to have Sophie and their Grandma and Grandad looking after them for the next two weeks. This which would involve lots of sugary treats no doubt.

  My last breakfast before I flew out was cooked by Polly and Leah. I sat down at the table where they had placed name tags at each spot.. Sophie and James were here for breakfast this morning too as they had offered to drive me to the airport. I thought, how strange, this all feels very familiar.

  The girls then placed each of our plates in front of us and there was a full-blown Scottish breakfast, which included baked beans, bacon, eggs, toast, and black pudding. Everything that Scott had taught them how to cook in my dream, or was it in reality? This situation which felt very much like a ‘déjà vu’ moment, I thought. This very situation had also just justified my need to go to Scotland, and also thankfully the mummy guilt was now not as bad. I felt like I had a legitimate reason to go.

  “Right all your bags are in,” James said as he closed the boot of the car. “Letticia do you really want to get into a car with the man that crashed into you and put you in a coma for over six months?” dad joked. I laughed nervously, “Well it's not ideal I give you that, but if it means getting me to Scotland and getting my questions answered then yes, I do really want to.”

  I crouched down and gave Polly and Leah a cuddle and said, “Be good girls for Grandad and Grandma and remember to go on lots of adventures while I’m away. I will be back before you know it.”

  We gave each other a lengthy hug. I then moved on to my parents. Dad encouragingly said, “You go and do what you have to do, we will hold the fort down here until you return.”

  “Thanks, Dad,” I replied and gave him a kiss.

  Mum, on the other hand, was still not convinced I was doing the right thing so soon after coming home from the hospital. “Oh, Letticia I really wish you were not going on your own, it’s not the most sensible thing to do.”

  “Everything will be fine mum. I will be home in one piece before you know it, this is what life is about after all.”

  Sophie and James were already in the car waiting to go. “Right then, this is it. Wish me luck family, or should I say my clan,” I laughed, not that anybody else did. I jumped in the back seat and shut the door; I wound my window down so I could blow kisses to Polly and Leah and catch the ones coming back in return. Mum looked at me and said, “Seat belt on Letticia!” as if I was a five-year old kid again. Dad said to James, “Drive carefully mate.”

  Of course, she’s in safe hands,” James replied. Not everyone looked convinced.

  As we drove down my parent’s driveway I was sitting right behind James. Life really has a funny way of working itself out; here I was on my way to Scotland, being driven to the airport by a man that I barely knew who crashed into me six months earlier and pushed me off the road and into a stone wall.

  I looked out the back window at my Parents, Polly and Leah. They had stopped waving now and were playing a game of hide and seek. Nice to know I will be missed, I giggled to myself.

  “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, here I come ready or not,” dad yelled out. Dad was the seeker and he was now on the hunt for mum and my girls. They were onto the second round when they heard a car coming up the driveway. “Oh, that was a fast two weeks!” Dad joked to mum. As the car got closer and came to a stop mum said, “Oh its Scott, the nurse from the hospital, how sweet he has come to visit us.” ”

  I don’t think he has come to visit us Olive, it’s Letticia he has come to see.” Dad corrected her. Scott approached Dad and put out his hand to shake his. “Good morning! Or is it afternoon?” Scott said as he checked his watch. “Oh no it's still morning,” he answered himself. “Sorry for dropping in unannounced but I had another home visit that just cancelled on me not far from here so I thought I would pop in here instead.”
<
br />   He was looking around for a sign of Letticia but could not see any. “Fancy a game of hide and seek with us Scott?” Dad asked.

  “Of course, I have missed playing games with Polly and Leah at the hospital. So, who’s counting first?” Scott asked. Polly yelled “You are Scott,” from her hiding place that dad had yet to find her in. “Aye right then here we go, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ready or not here I come.”

  Scott searched behind bushes and trees and any other spots he could find until he found Polly and Leah. He picked them up and threw them up into the air before catching them again. The girls laughed. “Do it again, do it again Scott,” Leah demanded. Scott played with the girls for several more minutes as my parents watched on with admiration for Scott.

  Scott and the girls had become very close in the last six months while I was in the hospital in a coma. Paul was never around, he was either at work or busy with his friends watching TV and eating spicy tomato flavoured potato chips. So not a Jamie Fraser thing to do I thought to myself, but Paul was never my Jamie Fraser to start with.

  As Scott called a time out on their game to catch his breath, he walked up to my parents and said, “Well your garden looks very lovely, any new gnome additions around your pool lately?” My parents looked confused, how could Scott have ever known about our gnomes around the pool area? He had never been to our house before.

  But before they could ask him, he had moved onto another important subject. “So, how’s our Letticia going?” he asked enthusiastically. “I hope she’s resting up and not doing anything too stimulating. The recovery stage is very important. She just needs to take it slowly and take each day as it comes. I hope she has been taking her medication and getting lots of sleep and eating correctly.”

  My parents looked guilty, nervous and worried. Scott looked at them intensely as he noticed their expression. “I know it’s hard for you guys too and I’m sure you are doing the best you can in caring for Letticia. You are doing a great job, I’m sure of it. Right, lead the way, let’s go check this superhero of a lady out.” Scott said.

  It was confession time. Dad started the confession first as mum stood slightly behind him for protection. “Well she’s not actually here sorry.”

  “Oh, is she back at her house with Paul, is she?” Scott asked looking over at mum.

  “Well no, not there either,” mum said as she poked her head out from behind dad’s shield, which was actually just his back. Scott was starting to look concerned, “Olive and Kevin, where then is your daughter who has just come out of a coma and should be in bed resting up as per doctor’s orders?”

  My parents couldn’t bring themselves to speak, they too knew how silly it was going to sound. Polly jumped in and spoke for them. “Mummy is on her way to Scotland, Scott, to find answers.”

  Scott’s eyes grew wide, his mouth opened and he looked like he was about to explode at any second. “Sorry I didn’t quite hear that right, I thought you just said Letticia is on her way to Scotland. Please tell me Polly didn’t just say Scotland, did she?” Scott asked my mum who was now standing beside dad. “Yes, that’s correct. Letticia is off to Scotland, oh I’m so sorry Scott,” mum said. “But you know what she’s like, she’s just so damn stubborn and once she has an idea in her head we can’t stop her. We have learned to just go with it over the years,” mum confessed.

  Scott looked stressed. “This was a huge mistake, she can’t be flying across the other side of the world in her state. I need to stop her, when did she leave?” Scott asked.

  “Ahhhh only like twenty minutes ago at the most,” dad said looking down at his watch.

  “How is she getting to the airport?” Scott asked impatiently.

  “James is driving her” dad said ever so casually.

  “What sorry, I didn't quite hear right again, did you just say James is driving her to the airport? The very same James that drove her off the road and into a stone wall just over six months ago and put her in a coma?” Scott asked rather dumbfounded.

  “Yes, that’s the James”, dad said, unaware of the sarcasm in Scott’s voice.

  “This is ludicrous, I’m in shock, I have to go stop her, what sort of car has James got now?” Scott asked Dad.

  “Oh it’s a very fancy one, his other car got written off in the crash so he had to get another one. Not sure how he afforded it, we all think he must have got help from his parents or a massive bank loan. I mean how could a surfer with no job afford a car like the one he is driving?”

  Scott interrupted Dad and said, “I don’t have time for all the details, just the colour, make and model will do.”

  “Very well then, it’s a blue Holden Commodore - the newest model” Dad added.

  “That will do,” Scott said, cutting Dad off mid sentence. Without even a goodbye Scott was in his car screeching down the driveway.

  “Well, who’s up for donuts?” Dad asked. Everyone answered “me!” as if there wasn’t a single concern in the world.

  Chapter Seven

  The flight

  James was actually not a bad driver after all. He must have been having an off day that day he pushed me off the road. Either that or he has taken up defensive driving lessons since the accident, I thought to myself as we made our way to Brisbane airport.

  We had stopped for petrol and a coffee moments before and were just slowly making our way towards the airport. We were all sitting in silence, listening to James’s favourite heavy metal band on the radio. The volume was up rather loud, unfortunately; Sophie and I didn’t care much for this type of music. It was so loud in fact none of us could hear Scott yelling at us through the open window of his car. He was now right beside us.

  Something must have caught my attention though as I just happened to turn to face his car. I was most surprised to see Scott, at first I thought he was waving so I waved back. Then I realised he was yelling at us saying “Pull over, pull over.” I put my window down so that I could hear what he was saying.

  “Letticia, are you out of your mind? You can’t go off to Scotland in your state.” I didn’t react. Sophie told James to just concentrate on driving and to keep his eyes on the road. We could see he was getting distracted and the last thing we needed was another crash and another six-month coma. I didn’t say anything back to Scott, I just wound my window back up and told James to continue on.

  We lost Scott in the traffic; either that or he turned around and headed home. I knew he wouldn’t give up that easily though. He was just as confused as I was with the whole Scotland situation.

  We arrived at the five-minute drop off point outside the departure doors at the airport. James went to the boot and grabbed my bags while Sophie went to find a trolley for my bags to be loaded onto.

  Soon it would be just me and I would be doing everything on my own, with nobody there to help me. I started to doubt myself until I remembered I had some very important questions that needed to be answered.

  With my trolley packed and our goodbyes done I now found myself waving at the car that was driving off in the opposite direction with Sophie and James in it. I was now left with nobody but myself to defend for. The doubt in my mind was now being replaced with self-confidence. I had this. I was about to embark on an adventure to Scotland with none other than myself.

  I had a vision of myself as Maria from The Sound of Music, holding a suitcase in one hand and guitar in the other, galloping away doing a heal click and singing, “I have confidence, confidence in me.” It was a very uplifting vision that I could quite easily have continued visualising, but I decided I needed to stay focused on the task ahead which was to get onto that plane and get to Scotland. I turned around and wiped the vision of me being Maria out of my head. I started pushing my trolley towards the sliding doors to the entrance of the airport, after one last sneaky heal click for good measure.

  I started to feel excited now. I was finally on my way to Scotland. But then, out of the blue, I heard my name being called out over and ove
r again. “Lettica, Letticia, Letticia, what on earth are you playing at? You can’t be going off to Scotland; you are still recovering from a pretty big accident.” It was Scott, he looked worried and stressed. My alone time lasted no more than a minute. I knew Scott wouldn’t have given up that easily.

  “Scott I am off to Scotland and you can’t stop me just as you couldn’t stop Paul taking me home from the hospital that day. Like you said, those famous few words, ‘It’s out of your control’, just as this situation is also out of your control,” I said confidently.

  “Letticia, I’m sorry but Paul had every right to take you home that day, and yes it was out of my control to stop him,” Scott ensured me.

  “Well, in that case, I have every right to go to Scotland then” I said as I started to walk off into the opposite direction. Scott grabbed my hand, and as he did so I had a vivid flashback from when he had done the same thing in Scotland - or wherever we had been, many times before. The touch, the feeling was so familiar, I knew he felt it too because we just stood there staring into each other’s eyes for a few seconds in pure silence.

  I pulled out of his tight grip and said, “I have to go and check in. Goodbye Scott.” Scott moaned a frustrated sound and threw both his hands into the air. “Ahhhhhhh Letticia, you are just as stubborn in my dreams as you are in real life,” he said, sounding irritated.

  I stopped in my tracks, confused at what he had just said. “What do you mean, in your dreams, Scott?” I asked.

  “Oh, never mind,” Scott said as he walked off in a huff. I was now halfway through the door of the entrance to the airport; I had two choices, turn back and follow Scott and get answers or continue on with my journey to Scotland and get answers that I was truly looking for. Of course, Scotland won; it always wins over anything with me. After all, I am Scottish at heart.