Longing for Forever (Sunset Bay Romance Book 1)

by Debra Clopton

  “Right. That’s exactly what we are going to do. Saturday.” He smiled, then let go of her chin and took her hand. “Now, I think it’s time to send you home and for me to get some sleep.”

  “Yes, good idea,” she agreed. But as they headed back up toward the lights shining from their cottages, she wished with all her heart that he’d kissed her.

  She was going to have to search really hard to find something about that not happening to be grateful about. Like she’d warned him, sometimes it was harder to do that than it looked.

  Chapter Ten

  On Saturday, Rosie followed Adam across the beach toward the blue waters of the ocean. She still couldn’t believe she had agreed to let him try teaching her to surf. What had she been thinking?

  That I am living life unafraid and looking for new experiences.

  Right, that was her motto. But as the handsome doctor held her hand and led her toward the water, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to embarrass herself in front of him. He’d said he wouldn’t let anything happen to her and she did trust him. But she was a little clumsy.

  She was pretty sure embarrassing herself was going to happen when she fell into the water and panicked. Panicking was not a pretty sight. She knew this but when he’d asked her again to let him teach her, she had agreed. Partly because she just wanted to spend time with him. And she wanted to overcome her fear. And it was better to try than to just surrender. That was not something she liked doing. And he had offered to help her win her battle.

  The man knew how to be persuasive. She could still feel his fingers on her chin, the feel of his gaze on her lips. She wanted more. She wasn’t going to pretend to herself that she wasn’t interested. She just didn’t know his level of interest. Today was all about exploring whatever this was between them.

  And despite all of her misgivings, she followed him out into the water on this gorgeous, balmy day while wondering whether she should reconsider. The memory of the last time she’d attempted to surf was not going away. And as the waves slammed into her, panic rose in her throat. The memory of trying to find her way to the surface as she fought the choking spasms that had overtaken her that day several years ago got to her. She could feel the panic she’d had when she finally broke the surface and was immediately hit by another crashing wave. Now, she reminded herself that the surf had been harder off the coast of Hawaii than here. That today it looked as if she were going to have a hard time finding a wave to support a ride, much less get wiped out by one.

  Still, the panic filled her chest and her heart fluttered sporadically. She tried to concentrate on the muscled shoulders of Adam. They were quite impressive and were recently tanned, with a tinge of burn because he’d been accumulating this new tan since arriving in Sunset Bay. As if sensing her thoughts, he turned toward her just as a wave splashed against his back and over his head.

  He laughed, then studied her. “You don’t have to look so terrified.”

  No telling what her expression had looked like, but obviously it had made him aware that there was turmoil brewing inside her. She’d warned him, not able to pretend all was right in her world.

  “Are you okay?” He moved to her and took her arm with his free hand.

  “I’m sure you can tell I’m a little nervous.” The last part came out as a squeak as a wave splashed against her chest and lifted her feet from the sandy bottom and into deeper water. She clasped at her board and he steadied her while keeping his head above water as if he had floats on.

  “You’re going to be fine. Okay, climb onto the deck. Lay down, with your toes at the end of the board. Watch the line through the center of the board and align yourself with it straight through your body. When we get past the white waves, we’ll be ready to practice coming up into the standing position like I showed you earlier. Remember—I’m right beside you.” He let go of her arm as she managed to hoist her upper body on the board. They paddled out past the waves. Once there, he turned his board and she did, too, getting ready for the waves that would come soon.

  “Remember, when the wave comes, feel it, then pop up to your standing position, feet shoulder width apart and on the center line, with knees slightly bent and arms out to help balance.”

  She nodded, feeling sick and wanting to hold on for dear life. But then she felt the wave and she knew she wasn’t about to let herself chicken out. She would do this. Eventually.

  She hoped.

  He straddled his board, smiling, distractingly so. “You’ve got this.”

  She lost her fear in that moment, transfixed by the rivulets of water washing down his muscled body, and she blinked through wet lashes. Focus, Rosie.

  Right. Focus and do this. She pushed up with her arms, then brought the first foot to the board beneath her. Happiness engulfed her as she managed to hop up and the second foot was beneath her on the board.

  She was up! She was surfing!

  It wasn’t graceful, but for a brief instant, she stood on the board on a wave.

  “Great job,” he called.

  She laughed, lost her balance and fell backward into the water.

  Engulfed instantly, she sank deep, feeling the sense of panic as she plunged beneath the waves. Then she felt his hands on her arms and she broke the surface.

  “You had it.”

  “Ha, liar,” she called and couldn’t help the smile on her face, trying to feel positive and hoping the increasing panic would dissipate.

  “Nope, I am not. If you get worried, let me know and we can go back to the shallow water and practice your moves.”

  They’d already practiced and she knew more practice wasn’t what she needed. What she needed was to get out here and overcome the fear. If she could just get on the board once without taking a hard fall and a dousing by a hard wave, she might overcome the fear. She wanted to do this more than she could express. It would be a positive factor in this part of reaching her goal to overcome.

  They paddled back out past an oncoming wave and waited for those that were farther out. She tried to relax as they waited for the wave that felt right.

  “Now, this time be aggressive in your stance as the wave comes. Feel the flow and remember to have fun. If you go down, I’m right here. I’ll get you.”

  She held his gaze, reassured that he would be there for her. This gave her a semblance of calm that helped somewhat. “Thanks, because the fear that I don’t want to admit to is there. I guess it’s the strength of the wave that rolled me over and held me down that won’t get out of my mind. I’m going to defeat it, though.”

  “I have no doubt about that. These are not big waves—they’re learning waves. Okay, this looks like a good one. Get ready. Here you go.”

  She’d seen it coming and was ready. His confidence in her gave her a warmth that she was glad to feel. As the wave came, she was in position. One minute, she was ready and pushed up so her feet were on the board. But the wave was stronger than the last and instantly she flipped forward into the ocean as the wave rocked her. She rolled beneath the surface, then felt strong arms wrap around her; in the next instant, she and Adam were above the surface. She coughed, but was thankful she hadn’t taken on enough water to sink a ship.

  “I’ve got you.” Adam held her close as the waves continued to hit them.

  She felt safe, aware of his arms wrapped securely around her. He kicked, pulling her backward with him as he let the waves carry them.

  “Thanks.”

  “That’s my girl. You did great. Ready to try again?”

  She drew security from him and nodded. He’d proved that she wasn’t alone out here and he would pull her out if needed. “I’m ready. Ready to see if I can at least stay on board longer than a nanosecond.”

  He laughed. “You’ll get there. It’s all about the feel of it and adjusting to it. Determination is a good attitude to have in this instance. Okay, grab your board.”

  She took hold of her board and he released her. She wished for his arms to be back around her as she took
her board and headed back into the waves. If determination was a good friend to have right now, then she was good, because she had tons of determination. Determination was her middle name.

  Adam watched for the third time as Rosie lifted up onto the board and he braced for her to fall as she’d done the two times before. But she didn’t, and his heart caught as her thin frame balanced and she let her knees loosen up to take the movement. She was riding the wave.

  He wanted to cheer but was afraid she’d hear him and lose concentration, so he held his excitement inside and rooted for her like crazy in his own mind.

  She backed up on the board and then moved forward, holding her balance as she stayed in the rhythm long enough for it to be a good confidence builder. Then she went down and he went after her. He’d enjoyed the feel of her in his arms earlier and was aware that she was thin, almost too thin. And he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d been ill. The thought had crossed his mind before. Her legs had muscle tone, though small. His gaze had been drawn to them as she’d first climbed to the board and he’d watched them tremble before giving out and she’d tumbled into the crashing waves. She seemed like a newborn filly on legs that were unsteady as the blood flow tried to give them strength. On the second try, they were steadier and this last time they held. Still, as he watched her surf, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she was also regaining her strength from more than the waves.

  “Rosie, you did it,” he said when they bobbed in the waves, looking at each other. She hadn’t needed him to pull her from the water this time, but he wanted to. Wanted to use it as an excuse to hold her.

  Her eyes sparkled as the blue topaz water rocked around her. “I did. I felt steadier. I think it’ll be better next time.”

  “Maybe we need to rest before you take another run at it, though.” He didn’t want to risk her getting injured when her strength wore out.

  “I think you’re right.” She turned and headed in and he went with her.

  The beach was slow today. Not many people were here in the area in front of their bungalows that were semi-private, with the barrier of the tree line down from them and the stretch of wider sand farther up from them that was typical here on the sandy shores of Sunset Bay. These beaches weren’t as wide as the shores of Windswept Bay or St. Petersburg but they were still beautiful. He had always preferred them growing up because they weren’t quite as popular as the other beaches. They reminded him more of the less crowded beaches of Marathon Keys, another of his favorite places.

  He had started to feel his head and maybe his heart healing as the days passed. Every day that he put between him and Chicago was a better day and he had to admit that part of that was due to Rosie. He could tell that given a few more attempts at surfing and she’d be just as graceful on the board as she was in the water.

  He felt his gut pull as she strode from the water, clutching her surfboard and jogging through the water when they neared the shallows. She laughed when she reached the sand, dropped her board, then removed her ankle band. He did the same.

  “I feel like I’ve had a load lifted from my shoulders.”

  He grinned at her. “And why is that?”

  “Because I got to my feet and stayed up. Not long, but still I surfed. And I didn’t get nearly drowned. That has been hanging over me for so long. I hate fear. I hate it with a passion and now, thanks to you, I’ve overcome this really frustrating irritation.”

  He placed his hands on his hips and studied her. “What makes you so unafraid? Other than this surfing fear you seem fearless to me.”

  She inhaled and reached for the towel she’d left beside her beach bag earlier. The sun warmed his back and dried the dampness from his shoulders as he watched her bury her face in the towel and then mop the rest of the water from her glistening body. He thought that she was using the moment to get her thoughts together. He knew instinctively that what she was about to share was important.

  His pulse quickened when she lifted those gorgeous sky-blue eyes to his and there was hesitancy there. He waited, riveted to the expression on her face and those eyes.

  She took a deep breath. “I was very ill. But Adam…I don’t—” Her words broke off and she looked as if she wasn’t going to finish what she’d started to reveal about herself.

  Selfishly, he willed her to continue, wanting more than anything to know what made Rosie the amazing Rosie that she was. “Go on,” he said softly.

  “I haven’t told anyone in Sunset Bay about my past.”

  “You can trust me,” he said, willing her to trust him. Wanting more than anything he’d wanted in a very long time for this beautiful, caring, sweet woman to trust him with her secrets.

  “I nearly died.”

  The words were softly spoken but echoed between them like the bang of a hammer hitting a spike. He felt it like a blow. She’d almost died. “How?” He sank to the sand beside her. His knees felt weak.

  “I need you to keep this fact to yourself. I’m not sure why I’m telling you. But…maybe it’s because I feel like I can trust you. I’ve felt that way from almost the moment I met you.”

  He suddenly felt as if he’d just swam five miles upstream as their gazes locked and held and that undeniable attraction pulsed between them. She’d trusted him with a revelation that shocked him to his core.

  He liked it very much and hoped equally as much that it was because she felt she could trust him as a man and not because he was a doctor. It hit him in that moment that he needed to be seen as someone other than a doctor in her eyes. He needed to be seen as a man.

  He’d been living his life, striving to be a doctor for so long that he’d forgotten what it was to just be a man. A man that a woman would be attracted to and trust simply for the man he was—not the doctor he’d become.

  It hit him in the reflection of her eyes that somewhere along the way he’d lost himself, the person, lost the empathy in the brisk, straightforward need to get things done and lives saved during the high-stress, high-stakes hours in the trauma units where there was no place for error.

  Chapter Eleven

  Rosie inhaled sharply. I told him my secret, that I’d nearly died.

  Told him the one thing she’d not wanted to tell anyone. Why had she done this? Now he would look at her with the pity that she’d wanted so desperately to leave behind. The look in his eyes had just shifted; she’d witnessed it.

  Now, despite thinking it was best to keep her mouth silent, she’d opened her mouth and thrown herself under the bus by telling him.

  His mesmerizing gaze held hers, reached into the depths of her and she surprised herself again as the feeling welled up inside her to spill her entire story to him. What was wrong with her? Was it his being a doctor? Was it his bedside manner? What suddenly had her contemplating spilling all her secrets to him?

  Or was it the fact that he was her neighbor…her new friend who’d helped her make and sell muffins because he’d known she was shorthanded and needed help? The friend who was now encouraging her to overcome her fear.

  Her thoughts rolled, and she knew…it was as the man, not the doctor. The realization gave her a fizzy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  Given that she was a fan of doctors, because they’d been her angels in her fight to live through the cancer that had almost robbed her of her life, it really spoke well for him. As they stared at each other, she felt that undeniable pull between them tightening. She wanted to reach out and hug him. She wanted to kiss his cheek…oh goodness, who was she trying to kid—she wanted to kiss his mouth.

  Wanted it in that moment, more than anything she’d wanted since the day in the hospital that she’d realized how desperately she’d wanted to live.

  He wanted desperately to kiss Rosie Olsen.

  Wanted to wipe away her painful past and rewrite her history into a perfect fairy tale. The sun warmed their skin as they studied each other. The ocean breeze lifting flyaway strands of her blonde hair had him wanting to reach out and smooth it gent
ly with his fingers. Instead, he reached for his T-shirt on the ground and then tugged it over his bare chest. He caught her blue gaze drift down, following the movement. Then he lost the connection as his head was lost in the nowhere land between the hem of his shirt and the neckline. As his head popped free of the neckline, he instantly caught her gaze shoot from his torso to his face and a blush tinged her pretty cheeks. He hoped he saw interest in her gaze that matched what he was feeling for her. And he suddenly wondered in a time like this how he could be thinking about his attraction to her.

  “You can trust me. I’m so sorry you went through that. Are you okay now?” He had to know. She wiped her hair with the towel and avoided his eyes for a moment, and he wondered whether she was going to deny him any more of her history. Just when she had him hanging on the end of the hook like a bait fish.

  “I’m fine. I had a really rare cancer with a very long name. The doctors and a new last-chance trial medicine pulled me back from death’s door, and God too. It was two years of pain and uncertainty that ended well for me…not so well for many who I became close to on the trial. I’m forever grateful that it worked on me. But also, I harbor deep regret for those whom it didn’t work for.”

  She blinked suddenly and he brushed a tear away that escaped from the corner of her right eye. “I’m sorry that it didn’t work for everyone, but very glad that it worked for you. The whole thing had to be hard. But I’ve learned…” He thought of the boy; his heart clutched and a lump formed in his throat. He swallowed hard and forced himself to sound as normal as possible, though he heard the tightness in his voice. “I’ve learned that life has a way of taking and giving, and not everyone gets the miracle. I’m glad you did.”

  She bit her upper lip and sniffed. “I’m grateful too, and something told me you would understand. You being a doctor makes it a little easier to talk about.”