Longing for Forever (Sunset Bay Romance Book 1)

by Debra Clopton

  He tried hard not to let the disappointment of her words dig too deep. He was a doctor, but more than anything he wanted to be just a man to this beautiful, sweet woman. Now, more than ever.

  “But,” she continued, “I don’t want anyone else to know because I, well, I don’t want anyone’s pity. But it’s more than that. I don’t want to have to relive it with others if they ask questions. I can’t do it. I had to endure it from well-meaning friends for six months after I lived and something inside me just knotted up. I had plans and wants and I kept feeling like I was getting held down with pity and well wishes. It’s a tangle of stuff in my head and heart that I felt terrible about but couldn’t shake. In the end, I left and disappeared, only to turn up here where no one knew me. Where I could have a fresh start and do my thing. Bake and bring smiles to folks. I love brightening everyone else who is down or struggling or sick. I love being one of the people who gets to ease whatever they are going through with a token of goodwill by either giving them a muffin when I go to visit the hospital or the nursing home, or if they come into the shop to buy something from me. I love that.”

  He was smiling at her and she smiled back at him, looking a little embarrassed. He thought it was adorable. And he knew about all her muffin donations that she delivered with a smile.

  And he got what she was saying. “Your secret is safe with me.”

  They were sitting close on the towels on the beach; he leaned back on one hand as his torso was turned toward her. She pulled her knees up and rested her chin on her knees, and turned her head so she looked at him with those big blue eyes.

  “I know,” she said. “You’re a doctor, so I know you’re trustworthy.”

  Again, it hit him that he wanted her to see him as a man, not a doctor. He leaned toward her, his fingers trailing along her jaw. “Rosie, you can trust me with your secrets because I’m a man who respects your need to start over. It has nothing to do with me being a doctor. I’m…” He wanted to say he was the man who wanted to kiss her. It was true, but he wasn’t planning to say that. “Your friend.”

  A sweet smile spread over her heart-shaped face and she lifted her head. “Yes, you are.”

  Her gaze dropped to his lips and he found himself drawn in a little closer to her. She leaned toward him and then he kissed her. First, it was just the soft touch of his lips to hers, and then he shifted, bringing his hand up from where he’d been leaning on it, and he threaded his fingers through her unruly hair while he cupped her face with his other hand. And as he continued to kiss her she melted into him. It was the most amazing feeling he’d ever felt. When she sighed and wrapped her arms around his neck, he wanted to pull her closer and let the kiss go on forever.

  But thankfully he came to his senses and pulled back. Letting his forehead rest against hers, he tried to stop his world from spinning out of control. Rosie Olsen was completely flipping his world upside down.

  “Wow,” she whispered. “You really came through.”

  He laughed and pulled back to see her sparkling eyes and a slightly goofy smile. “Okay, so is that a good thing?”

  She nodded. “I feel a bit like a schoolgirl. I’m twenty-five and never been kissed. Until now.”

  “What?”

  Surely, he’d heard her wrong. He pulled back and stared at her. She was beautiful. But more than that, she was sweet and kind and adorable. There should have been fellas lined up from here to New York trying to give her kisses and roses and winning her heart. His stare caused her to blush.

  “What’s wrong with the men you’ve been hanging out with?” It was a stupid thing to say but the only thing that came to mind.

  Her smile widened, then faltered. “I haven’t hung out with any boys except you in a very, very long time. I wouldn’t date while I was sick. I wasn’t able to be in contact with anyone, had no future to speak of, and prior to that I was a little different than I am now. I was more reserved. Shy in many ways.”

  He was still trying to process the fact that she’d never been kissed, and the extent of her illness, and now, that she had been shy prior to her illness. And what did it say about him that she’d just told him she’d nearly died and all he could think about was kissing her the first time and now kissing her again?

  “You look stunned,” she said before he could figure out what to say. “I’ve been told your personality can change after a life-changing experience. For me, it was a decision. I had faced death and nothing could be scarier than that. It taught me life was short and that I should go after what I want.”

  “And that’s why you opened your bakery?”

  “Yes. I left my past behind and I came here and started over. But enough about me. You know that story, and now I’m rested, so…” She stood. “I’m ready to try that again.”

  He stood. “Your wish is my command. Lead the way.”

  She smiled and then ran toward the water. He watched her go, overwhelmed by her. She’d come so far and she was fearless.

  With a lightness squeezing his chest, Adam grabbed his board and followed Rosie back into the water.

  Chapter Twelve

  Lulu stood in the dog park across from the fire house biting her lip as she held three leashes in her hand. The dogs loved coming here to the fenced dog park and running free for a few minutes each day. It was part of her dog walking routine and…well, it gave her a few minutes each day to watch him. Fire Chief Brad Sinclair was gorgeous. She hadn’t told Rosie that she had been harboring a huge crush on Adam Sinclair’s brother for a very long time. It was her secret. No one knew.

  It was a secret fantasy that she wouldn’t tell anyone. It was too embarrassing. Like at the festival she’d almost made a fool of herself. She always tried to avoid him and she’d been going to see Rosie when she’d almost walked out in front of him. She nearly killed herself ducking behind the Korney Korn trailer. She could only hope no one had witnessed her weird behavior. Even now, thinking about it made her pulse race. She couldn’t bring herself to face him. And yet, she had this disturbing need to get glimpses of him.

  She’d been coming to this dog park for two years, ever since she’d moved to Sunset Bay and spotted him working a fire in her neighborhood. The man had taken her breath away and she’d been hooked ever since…with the state of mind she’d been in when she’d moved here, her behavior was confusing.

  The man was way, way out of her league. Hadn’t she learned her lesson?

  No. She’d even toyed with the idea of trying to meet him but then the great shrimp fiasco had happened. She cringed even now thinking about it.

  She’d been eating alone one balmy summer afternoon at one of the seaside cafes when the waitress led him to a table across from her. She’d lost her mind the moment she’d locked gazes with him and he’d smiled at her. She’d been so nervous that she’d accidently hit her fork and sent the shrimp and red sauce flying straight into the center of her chest. She’d watched in horror as the red sauce splattered everywhere and the shrimp slid down her boob, leaving a trail of the red sauce all over her white tank top.

  She’d been mortified, more so when she looked up to see horror on Brad’s face. He’d reached across the aisle and handed her a napkin just as a tall, voluptuous redhead, who he must have been meeting for lunch, showed up and threw herself into his arms. Lulu hadn’t waited around, she’d used the distraction as an escape. She’d grabbed her purse and headed to the restroom where she’d attempted to clean up the disaster. But the red stain just spread and it was horrible.

  She’d practically hidden behind a fern until she could grab her waitress and pay, and had gotten out of there without going back to her table. Since then she’d come to the dog park always wearing dark shades and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She stayed far enough away that he couldn’t see her face, especially since she stood behind a large bush and watched him from afar. Like today. It was ridiculous and wrong on so many levels but she couldn’t help herself.

  Many days she didn’t spot him at
all and some days she glimpsed him. And then some days, like today, she got to see him as he talked with the other firemen or helped wash the large fire trucks. The man was just too handsome. Big and tall and nice. She always remembered he’d handed her that napkin. But then the redhead had shown up…Lulu was a redhead too but she was short and small, and hippy. She was not the kind of woman he dated.

  She pushed her shades higher on the bridge of her nose and watched as he laughed at something the other fireman said, and her throat went dry. He had such a nice laugh.

  Ever since the great shrimp fiasco, as she called it, she’d avoided him at all costs. If she saw him coming down the street, she went the other way. If she went to a restaurant and spotted him, she left or asked to be put in a different section. It was sometimes awkward, but so far she’d managed to avoid him.

  But he was seriously getting in the way of her moving forward. Of her having a serious relationship with anyone. Because she found fault in every guy she dated. Not that she’d picked any winners lately…she hadn’t picked a winner ever. Her ex-fiancé had proven that.

  She was starting to panic. She wanted a family. Wanted a husband and kids. But Brad Sinclair had her stuck in a time warp. She had to get him out of her system.

  And as if a sign from heaven above showing her the truth, a red sports car pulled into the firehouse drive and a dazzling black-haired beauty unfolded her long, long legs and got out of the Corvette. By that time, Brad had walked over to her and she’d immediately thrown her arms around his neck and planted an exuberant kiss on his lips.

  Yep, Lulu needed to move on. Needed to let this obsession go.

  She needed to face the truth—Brad Sinclair might be her dream man, but she most definitely was not his dream woman. What truth was this anyway? She didn’t understand why she acted this way. It was completely out of character for her. Did it have something to do with the event that shall not be mentioned? After what Tyson had done…she wiped a hand across her eyes, not wanting to think about him. How could she come here and immediately get this obsession with Brad after Tyson’s betrayal? And after losing Justin…she pushed thoughts of her brother out of her mind. She couldn’t think about Justin. Even after two years it was still hard to accept that he was gone. Her heart hardened against Tyson even more every time she thought about Justin. He had been one of the good guys. Tyson obviously hadn’t been. Justin had been helping her cope with what Tyson had done. And then he’d been gone. Dead too young.

  Her heart hurt…she knew she had to face the truth, face the fact that he was gone, but it was just easier not thinking about it.

  Dogs barking drew her attention; it was time to gather the pooches and head out. There was no need to torture herself any longer. No need to look back at the past. She’d come to Sunset Bay to put distance between her and the onslaught of pain she’d left behind. She’d figure out this thing with Brad. Figure out why her focus had shifted to him the moment she’d first laid eyes on him mere days after moving to town.

  With one last glance toward the firehouse where Brad and the bombshell were now talking, she walked away.

  Maybe she needed to see a counselor or something.

  Nope, she just needed a date. Needed to get the past in the past. Needed to start over. That was the entire reason she’d relocated here to Sunset Bay.

  Her landlord had been trying for months to set her up with a friend’s son. So be it, why not.

  She’d never had a chance with Brad Sinclair anyway since she was always avoiding him. Now, she just needed to stop stalking him. Well, that description was a little harsh. Really, she had to walk the dogs, so she had as much right to be at the dog park as he had to be at the firehouse.

  A date. A date would help. Dates would help. And she’d start with Mrs. Thompson’s friend’s son.

  The week after she’d shared her first kiss with Adam had been a wonderful one. She’d felt relief at having shared her past with him, at having someone know even though she didn’t want everyone to know. It felt right sharing the most intimate parts of her life with him.

  “I tell you, Rosie, I’m beginning to think this lie that a woman with a dog can find a husband is a myth,” Lulu said.

  Her words pulled Rosie from her thoughts. She’d been distracted like that all week. Lulu stood on the other side of the counter, getting her morning coffee before picking up her first doggy clients of the day. She looked dejected and Rosie felt guilty for having let her mind wander to Adam instead of giving Lulu her full attention.

  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve met guys out there and gone on a few dates, but they were all bad. The guys either couldn’t stop talking about their exes or their jobs or sports. I don’t know—I’m beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with me.”

  Was that despair she saw in Lulu’s eyes? Alarm swept through Rosie. “Whoa. Wait. There is nothing wrong with you, Lulu. I’m confused. A few days ago you said you were done with men.” Rosie took the muffin and the coffee she was about to hand over the counter and instead carried it around the end of the counter and nodded to a table. “You and me need to sit down.”

  Her friend followed her over to the table. It was early as usual when Lulu came in, so the place was empty. “You eat this and let’s discuss your situation.”

  They took seats.

  Lulu sighed. “I know I said that. But I didn’t mean it. I had just gone on another disaster of a date so I swore off men for good. And then—oh Rosie, I just don’t get it. Aren’t there any good guys out there anymore? I mean…well, I keep holding out hope that there is, but I don’t stand a chance…I mean, I really am about to decide it’s better to just stop and get off this merry-go-round to nowhere and learn to love my life without a guy in it.”

  Rosie’s thoughts shifted instantly to Adam. She had it bad. After spilling her secrets to him and feeling his arms around her and just spending time with him, she knew she was falling for him—and falling hard and fast. She kept trying to tell herself she needed to pull back, to lock her heart away again, that she was treading in dangerous waters where her tender heart was concerned, but she was struggling to keep a clear head where he was concerned.

  They’d spent time together over the last week and shared several moonlight kisses, and despite having known him only a short while she was falling for him. She couldn’t deny it. But something held him back and she knew it. She could tell that he hadn’t shared with her like she’d shared with him.

  Something kept him up at night and she still didn’t know what it was.

  “Lulu, I know this can be stressful—dating, I mean. But, if you lock up your heart and don’t try, you might miss out on the gem among the rocks. The right guy is out there somewhere, and he’ll come along at the right time.”

  Not looking convinced, Lulu bit into her apple-cinnamon crunch muffin and moaned. “Well, if I could just eat these all day long, it might be okay. This is fabulous.”

  Rosie smiled as much from the compliment as from the fact that her friend was suddenly trying to change the subject. “Good, but that’s not the point. A muffin is not going to replace love.”

  “Why not? I love this muffin.” Lulu’s expression was defiant as she took another bite, more like a chunk, into her mouth and chewed.

  “Well, that muffin doesn’t have strong arms to hold you. Or…or lips to kiss you—” Rosie’s thoughts went wayward again, thinking of Adam. Her heart squeezed tight. She cleared her throat and her mind right along with it. This was about Lulu. “I’m just saying, no need to rush or go out with anyone who doesn’t just blow you away when you meet him, but don’t just slam the door on possibility. Keep your heart open and then let it happen naturally. Who knows, the right guy might be just around the corner.”

  Or living right next door.

  Lulu sighed. “Don’t I wish. You might be right. I guess it’s true you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince. I just went on the worst date ever last night. My landlord has fixed me
up three times this week and every time it was not good. One guy was so handsy that I had to threaten to tell my landlord how terrible he acted and that she would tell his mother. The wimp dropped me off at the corner and I walked home.”

  “That’s horrible.” Rosie was shocked.

  “Don’t worry. The next guy I say yes to better knock my socks off or it’s a no-go. And then the mace is going with me, and if he gets handsy he gets squirted right in the eyes.”

  “Oh, well, that’s more like it. You sound more like yourself now. I’m relieved you have a plan. And, Lulu, I’m always here if you need to talk.” She remembered spotting Lulu at the festival. “Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask, what were you doing the day of the festival? I saw you run behind the Korney Korn truck and then peek out. I wasn’t sure what you were looking at, but it looked like you were hiding from someone.”

  Lulu paled and looked suddenly…guilty. But why?

  “I was hiding from a guy. I didn’t want to run into him again, you know.”

  “That bad, huh?”

  “Um, yes. That bad.”

  Lulu stood and Rosie did, too, as Lulu hugged her. “Thanks. You said just what I needed. I better go pick up Spaz and Sussi-Q, the terriers from he—well, you get the idea. I’m going to straighten out their attitudes today. Just like you did mine. Thanks for everything.” She picked up her half-eaten muffin and her paper cup of coffee and headed out.

  Rosie watched her go, feeling relieved and a little stressed. It was one thing to give advice and a whole other thing to take it. Could she take her own advice?

  The door opened just as she went back around the counter. Gigi was scheduled to come in at seven-thirty, just before the really busy time started, but it was only seven. Instead of her helper she was really glad to see one of her new regular clients enter the shop. Erin was in the middle of getting a bed-and-breakfast going. She’d recently opened enough to begin taking bookings. And that meant orders for Rosie. They’d never really talked much, other than when Erin had come in to make the order and then pick them up. Rosie hadn’t gotten her last name, and even if she had she was really bad about remembering people’s last names. She was a first-name kind of gal, but if she was going to start doing more business with Erin, maybe she needed to keep better records. She would get her name today.