Mucky Bumpkin

by Sam Cheever

  She shrugged. “Sure.”

  I grabbed a pen from the nearby desk and jotted my number on an old-fashioned, stained and torn paper blotter. “Is there anything else you can tell me about Penney?”

  Madge pursed her lips thoughtfully. “She had a cat. But I don’t think LaLee is a danger to you.” She grinned.

  “Oh no. Poor thing. Who will take care of her?”

  Madge flipped a hand into the air. “No idea. I don’t really care, either. I hate cats.”

  My lip curled. I looked away to hide my disgust. People with such a cavalier attitude toward animals rubbed me the wrong way. “I’d like to stop by and get the cat. I’ll take her someplace where she’ll be safe. Can you give me Penney’s address?”

  The woman frowned. “I’m sure someone will put the nasty thing in a kennel and take it to the pound.”

  And that was exactly what I was afraid of. “You know, Madge, I’ve lived in Deer Hollow all my life. I know just about everybody here…” I let the statement slide off into silence, hoping she’d take my meaning. The wrong word in the right ears would go far toward cutting into Madge’s business. By contrast, if I vouched for her…

  The woman gave me an insincere smile. “You’re right, of course. Penney loved that stu…cat like it was a child. She’d want someone to make sure it was safe.” Madge reached for a pad of yellow stickies and jotted down an address. Then she opened the desk drawer and pulled out a key on an expandable wristband. “Penney always kept a spare key in her desk. She tended to lock herself out a lot.”

  I took the key and the sticky, turning toward the door.

  “Be careful. That cat’s pure evil. You might want to go in armed or something.”

  Not bothering to hide my frown, I made a quick getaway. Madge’s warning didn’t bother me a whit. She clearly didn’t like cats. And I was looking forward to the chance to search Penney’s house, thinking that maybe I’d find something which would shine some light on who might have killed the realtor. Saving poor LaLee from neglect and starvation would be a bonus.

  I bounced happily down the steps and headed for my car in the small, gravel side lot.

  Five steps later I screeched to a halt, my gaze locking onto the lean, handsome figure leaning against my car.

  Dangit!

  Chapter Five

  “What are you doing, Joey?”

  My hackles rose, and I fought the defensive words flying to my lips. “I can ask you the same thing. What are you doing here?”

  Hal held my gaze for a long moment and then shifted away from my car, striding toward me like a tiger stalking its prey. “I asked you first.”

  Oh, so that was how he was going to play it. “I was just talking to a realtor. You know all about that, huh? I just found out recently that you’ve been talking to one too.” I let my eyebrows lift in feigned surprise. “Was Penney Sellers the one who sold you your new house? Maybe you even told her about me. Is that why she came to harass me at my home?”

  His expression darkened. “Joey…”

  “No, it’s okay. You can just tell me if you sicced her on me. I’ll add it to the growing list of things I’m annoyed at you about. We might as well get it all out. You know, clear the air.”

  “Joey…”

  I lifted a hand and stepped around him. “No, don’t bother. I get it. You wanted to keep your options open. You know…in case you decided you really didn’t want to spend more time with me after all…”

  His hand snaked out and wrapped around my arm, drawing me gently to a halt. “How did this become a discussion about me buying that house?”

  Because I’d needed to distract you.

  The thought almost made me smile. Instead, I shrugged, tugging my arm free. “It isn’t. But you know, that’s probably the problem. I’m talking about our relationship and you think I’m talking about you buying a stupid house.”

  He turned and fell into step with me, his long strides easily keeping up as I hurried toward my car. “Why didn’t you tell me about the dead woman on your property?”

  I jerked to a stop, not bothering to hide my annoyance. “How did you find out about that?”

  He lifted a midnight eyebrow. “Really?”

  Okay, he had me there. The Deer Hollow gossip tree was flappin’ in the wind, dropping tidbits of juicy information all over the dang place. “You talked to your brother?”

  “No.” He frowned. Are you saying that Cal knew about this, but nobody told me?”

  Oops!

  “I told Felly. I figured she’d tell him. But I told her not to.”

  He shook his head. “I ran into Arno at the diner. He told me.”

  So much for keeping the investigation quiet. “For a cop, he sucks at keeping things close to the vest.”

  Hal’s lips twitched with humor. “He wanted me to know so I could keep you safe.”

  My hackles rose again. “There are so many things wrong with that statement.”

  He sighed, dipping his head and crossing his arms over his chest. “Go on, smack me around. Let’s get this over with so we can move forward with finding out who killed this poor woman.”

  My mouth snapped shut and I blinked. “You’re investigating Penney Seller’s murder?”

  “Her death, yes. I told Arno I couldn’t just sit around and wait to find out if you were in danger.”

  I sighed. I’d known he’d feel compelled to ride to the rescue. “I’m fine. You don’t need to…”

  He tapped my lips with a warm fingertip. “Save your breath. I made Caphy a promise, and I’m going to keep it.”

  I sighed. Sure, he’d make my dog promises. With me, he left his options open. “What promise? That you’d play ball with her later?”

  “That I’d keep you safe and make you happy.”

  I fought a grin. “She wrung that out of you, did she?”

  “In her own way, yes.” He grinned and I felt its effects like a punch to the belly.

  I needed to change the subject fast. “I’m surprised Arno’s letting you stick your Greek nose into this.”

  “He’s got his hands full with that meth lab massacre and the school bus hit and run.”

  Ice filled my chest. The meth lab thing had broken a few days earlier. Three people had been shot, execution-style, in a ramshackle house out in the country. Arno’d had his hands full trying to find out how and why they were killed. The school bus thing had happened just the night before. Someone had hit the driver of a bus, who’d climbed out of the vehicle to help a special needs kid in a wheelchair onto the loading ramp at the back of the bus.

  I shook my head. “What’s going on in our little town?” I murmured, before realizing I’d momentarily forgotten Hal wasn’t really a Deer Hollow-er.

  That thought gave me pause. Since he’d bought Dev’s cabin, would he really be one of us?

  “Penney for your thoughts,” Hal said on a grin.

  I couldn’t help smiling. “I see what you did there.”

  He chuckled.

  I sighed. “Okay, let’s put this cabin thing behind us for now. I was just heading over to Ms. Sellers’ house to see what I can find. Plus, I understand she has a cat. I’m going to make sure the animal is taken care of.”

  Hal nodded. “Sounds like a plan. Your car or mine?”

  Penney Sellers had lived in an old church that was transformed into a home. Slightly outside of town, the white, clapboard building looked like just about every other country church, with a spired roofline and windows with rounded tops and stained glass.

  The gravel parking lot at the side had been turned into a rock garden, with pathways created by different colored stones and slate pavers winding between raised flower beds and the occasional twisty bush or decorative tree. A fountain and pond were the centerpiece of the space, the water splashing gently over a complex array of variously-sized and shaped rocks.

  Koi fish swam and darted in the watery depths of the architecturally stunning fountain.

  “This is pre
tty,” I told Hal as I stepped out of his car.

  He eyed the fountain, his dark green gaze narrowing. “I’m apparently in the wrong business. There must be a ton of money in real estate.”

  He was right, of course. The landscaping we were looking at probably cost Penney Sellers tens of thousands of dollars to create. And I had a suspicion the inside of the unique home was going to be equally impressive.

  I wasn’t wrong.

  I used the key Madge had given me to unlock the front door. We stepped out of the crisp fall temps into the warm but slightly musty interior of the home.

  Golden oak floors gleamed at us from under expensive-looking oriental rugs. My shoes sunk into the thick rugs when I stepped on them, confirming they were likely as pricey as they looked.

  High above our heads, a stainless steel and crystal chandelier caught the early morning sunlight and cast it over the stark, white walls in pretty, dancing patterns.

  The main room was unbroken, with only furniture and rugs to delineate sections of space. Two antique church pews, covered in colorful pillows, sat at right angles to each other in front of a brick fireplace, which was painted gray. Dozens of candles of varying sizes and shapes lined up on the heavy, antique mantle, most of them sporting thick ribbons of melted wax along their misshapen sides. They were obviously not just for show. Ms. Sellers must have liked a little ambiance.

  Angled on the other side of the fireplace, was a gray leather recliner that looked as if I would sink into it up to my eyebrows if I sat down. “I’d have to lure Caphy out of that recliner with food. She’d never leave it otherwise.”

  Hal chuckled. “That’s not a lie.”

  We shared a smile about my goofy dog. For a moment, I felt the easy comradery of parents tied together by the antics of their child.

  It didn’t really matter if the child was a pibl.

  Not to me anyway.

  I turned toward the kitchen area, which was located one deep step up from the living area at the farthest point from the front door. I realized that would have been where the altar was when the building was still a church.

  Simple Shaker-style cabinets, in the same golden oak as the floors, filled the entire back wall. The cabinets housed gleaming stainless-steel appliances and framed an aged copper farm sink in the center. The countertops appeared to be speckled black concrete, that looked a little bit like granite. A huge island filled the center of the space, and four tall iron stools were tucked under the counter on the living room side. The window over the sink was clear glass, but its shape matched the round-topped windows at the front of the building. Beyond the glass, I could make out a big tree whose leaves were painted with fall colors, and a lot of green grass.

  The “bedroom” was located on the left-hand side of the space, along with a large master bath that appeared to have been built into what was probably the pastor’s office. The king-sized bed and two dressers were partitioned off from the rest of the space by beautiful, oriental-style privacy panels along one side.

  “Wow,” I said, looking around. “Either Ms. Sellers was selling drugs, or she was a darn good realtor.”

  Hal didn’t respond. His expression remained speculative.

  After a moment, he moved toward the kitchen. “You search the bedroom. I’ll take the kitchen.”

  Nodding, I headed toward the partitioned space and started rifling through the drawers of Penney Sellers’ long, dark wood dresser and the two nightstands. I found a cheap cardboard journal buried under Penney’s socks and pulled it out. Opening it, I figured I’d find some kind of personal diary. Instead, I found a long list of addresses with the value of each property in a column next to the address and another dollar amount next to that one. It appeared to be a list of homes Penney Sellers had sold. But I had no explanation for the second dollar amount. Or the checkmark next to some of the homes but not others. Maybe those were homes she’d sold, and the unchecked ones were homes she either hadn’t sold yet or had lost the contract for at some point.

  I scanned quickly through the pages, discovering that the last two pages contained addresses I recognized in Deer Hollow.

  To my shock, I noted the address of Sonny’s Diner on the second to the last page. My stomach twisted with alarm and I made a soft sound of concern.

  “What did you find?” Hal asked. He stood at the end of the partition, his hands shoved into his pockets.

  Apparently, he hadn’t found anything.

  I held the journal up and he walked over, taking it from my hand. “Sonny’s Diner is on the market?”

  His gaze shot to mine. “I can’t believe Max would sell the place. It’s been in her family for generations.”

  “I know.” I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling suddenly as if someone had walked over my grave. I shuddered. “Deer Hollow is changing, and it makes me sad.”

  “Let’s not jump to conclusions.” He flipped through to the last page and went very still, the color leaching from his handsome face.

  “What is it?” I asked him, moving around to look at the page he was staring at. It didn’t take long for me to find it. “Uh, uh. That’s not right.”

  He slowly closed the journal, his shoulders rigid. “Is there something you forgot to tell me?”

  Irritation flared. I wasn’t the one keeping real estate secrets. “I have no idea why my house is on that list. It must be a list of homes she hopes to contract.”

  “Then how do you explain the second dollar amount?”

  “I have no idea. But I can assure you that even if Penney Sellers had sold my home she wouldn’t have gotten a $250,000 fee from it.”

  Understanding flared in his dark green gaze and Hal slowly relaxed. “You’re right.”

  “I don’t know what those numbers are, but they’re too high to represent Real Estate Commisions.”

  Hal nodded.

  “Yeow!”

  A gray-brown blur shot past Hal’s legs, and he yelped as the critter clamped onto his calf with razor-sharp teeth and then shot away as he swung a hand in its direction.

  Hal’s attacker dove under the bed. A throaty growl was all the evidence we had that we’d even seen the cat.

  “I’m guessing you just met LaLee,” I told him, hiding a smile behind my hand.

  “It bit me!” he exclaimed in shock.

  My grin widened. “I guess she doesn’t like strangers in her house.”

  His midnight brows lowered. “You’re an intruder too, and it didn’t bite you.”

  I shrugged. “I’ll see if I can find a crate and try to entice her into it.”

  “Yeah,” he grumbled, rubbing his calf. “Good luck with that.”

  I pulled open a door on the wall dividing the bathroom from the bedroom and found a large, walk-in closet. Flipping on the light, I cast a look over my shoulder. “Can you check the kitchen for some tuna or something to bribe her with?”

  Hal limped around the partition, grumbling under his breath. I’m pretty sure it was something about needing a rabies shot.

  Chapter Six

  “What do you mean you won’t take her?” I yelled at Arno.

  “I’m sorry, Joey. You need to call the pound. I’m not set up to rehome people’s pets.”

  “I’m not asking you to rehome her. I just need someone to foster her until I can find her a place to live.”

  “Not gonna happen. I guess you’re going to have to foster the cat yourself. Gotta go.”

  I slammed my phone against my thigh as Arno disconnected in my ear.

  “No luck?” Hal asked. I glanced his way, grimacing at the bloody claw tracks decorating his square jaw.

  “No.” I rubbed a matching set of tracks on my forearm and winced as I moved my leg and was reminded of the bite wounds around my ankle. “I can’t keep this cat in my house. Caphy will have a cow and five ducks.”

  “On the upside, maybe she’ll eat it.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  His midnight brows arched. “Why do you think I was
kidding?”

  Shaking my head, I turned to stare out the window for a minute, thinking. There was really only one solution.

  I turned back to Hal and fixed him with a pleading look. He lifted both hands off the wheel, his head shaking violently. “Not a chance. That thing’s a demon come straight from Hell. Plus, it hates me. There’s no way I’m taking it in.”

  A deep, throaty growl emerged from the soft-sided kennel in the back seat. Hal had insisted on putting the kennel in the third row of seating in the big car, as if he were afraid the cat would reach out of the kennel and scratch us through the seats.

  After going a few rounds with the cranky Siamese cat, I wasn’t at all sure he was wrong. “I’ll give you that she’s not very trusting…”

  He barked out a laugh that sounded slightly wheezy.

  “But she’s probably terrified. Put yourself in her…erm…paws. We invaded her home and put her into a kennel. Now we’re taking her away from everything she knows.”

  Hal stared straight ahead for a long moment, his eyes on the road but his thoughts clearly somewhere else. Finally, he nodded. “I can understand all that. I can even kind of, sort of, forgive the cat for the scratches. But I still can’t take her.” He reached up and scratched at the claw marks on his chin, which I saw had gotten even redder and looked puffier than before. In fact, that whole side of his face was swollen. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. But I need to drop you off at your house and get to the hospital. There’s a better than medium chance I’m going to go into anaphylactic shock.”

  I squealed in alarm. “Why didn’t you tell me? Go right now! Don’t go to my house, just head straight to the hospital.”

  My voice had gained a shrieking quality that was not only unattractive, but it was apparently alarming to LaLee. She started yowling and thrashing around in the kennel. I forced myself to calm down. “It’s okay, LaLee. Relax, girl.”

  Hal scratched his forearm, where two puncture holes had blown up to three times the size they’d been at Penney Seller’s house. “Maybe you should pull over and let me drive.”