Rock Me: Sexy (New Adult Rockstar Romance) (New Adult Rock Star Erotic Romance)

by Quinn, Arabella

  Now I was panicked that Tyler would stop by the production bus for a visit. Would I tell him? Was it fair for me to tell him? I wasn’t even sure I would be able to even look at him without breaking down into a complete mess. The news had crushed me. It had thrown in my face what I had known all along about Tyler. I had been stupid to pretend otherwise.

  Michael was strangely absent from the bus. I was secretly grateful I didn’t have to endure his rants. I tried to continue work on Episode 6, but my heart just wasn’t in it.

  That’s when I got the phone call. I saw that it was Jeff Thornton and decided to ignore it. He was probably just going to continue to apply pressure for a huge cliffhanger ending. Today, I wasn’t in the mood to reassure him.

  When he called back two more times within five minutes, I finally gave up and answered.

  He sounded pissed. “Now you’re not even answering your phone?”

  What a fucker. “I was in the bathroom. Give me a break.”

  He paused for a second. “Your assistant told me what you’ve got. Use it.”

  My heart started beating faster. No, he wouldn’t! Would he? “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Don’t play games with me, Katie. You’ve got the video of the girl telling Tyler she’s pregnant. That’s going to be our season ender. I’m ordering you to use it.” Thornton was deadly serious.

  Nausea was rippling through my stomach. I fought to sound calm. “There’s no such video.”

  Thornton’s tone was controlled, but threatening and aggressive sounding. “Don’t fuck with me! You’ll be the loser in that match, and you’ll fucking regret it. I’m giving you one fucking chance to use the tapes or you’re fired. I want to see the rough edits for Episode 6 with the new video in it by tomorrow.”

  I tried to remain composed and reasonable sounding. “The ending is already worked out. I’ve gotten you this far already with fantastic numbers. I’ve made this show a hit and I know the ending that I’ve come up with is the one the viewers will want to see. I promise you this is going to be fantastic.”

  My hand shook as I listened to his menacing answer. “It’s not up for debate. Put the video in or you’re finished, Katie. Not just with me. With your entire fucking career. And don’t think Hugo will be able to bail you out of this one. You’ll be done. I fucking promise you.”

  There would be no convincing him. “It’s so nice of you to threaten me, Thornton. But I’m the Executive Producer. I have final say of what goes into the show.”

  Thornton practically barked. “I’ve got my lawyers already drafting your termination papers. I’ll give you till tomorrow morning to decide your own fate. Are you willing to sacrifice your whole fucking career for your precious principles? Because no one else will give a shit about your principles. You’ll be black-listed forever. Play the game, Katie and we all win. I’m going to use that tape whether you’re with me or not.”

  Thornton hung up.

  I sank to the chair feeling completely helpless. Michael had gone ahead and taped Cassie’s pregnancy revelation behind my back. That meant that Tyler already knew. And it was going to get aired all over Rock Star Diaries. My show. Tyler would be devastated.

  I probably sat around for close to an hour, not doing anything. My brain seemed to be completely failing me. But somehow during that time, in some small dark corner of my mind, an idea must have coalesced. Because when it finally emerged, struggling to the surface of my conscience, I immediately jumped into action.

  It took me over five hours to find all the footage. I didn’t have time to stop and watch it, but it was filmed from stationary hidden cameras in the production bus. Cassie and Michael had set Tyler up. He had no idea that he had been filmed.

  I found video from two cameras and audio from five different sources. Michael had been extremely thorough for the short amount of time he had to set this up. I had been working with audio / visual equipment for the past nine years of my life. I knew it inside and out. I felt fairly confident that I had found all traces of the footage.

  I copied one of the loops to watch later and then systematically destroyed every last frame of the footage. I knew exactly where all backup and archive copies were stored on the computers. I knew how to erase every last vestige of the video from the physical equipment. Unless Michael had made a copy specifically for himself, the recordings were gone. Like they never even existed.

  Next, I searched for any trace evidence, any little trail in the computer’s files to check if Michael had made copies. It was doubtful that he would try to cover up the fact that he made copies if he did. I couldn’t find anything, so I felt pretty confident that I had gotten it all.

  My shoulders ached by the time I was done. I had been so worried the whole time that Michael would return and catch me erasing the video. Now that I was done, I sagged against the chair feeling limp.

  My career was finished. Maybe if I had just refused to air the tape and then got fired by Thornton, I could’ve clawed my way back up. If Thornton had been able to air the footage, he probably would have just forgotten about me. But now, there was no way. He would be furious that I had thwarted him. It would be personal for him. I wasn’t even sure if what I did was criminal or not. It technically wasn’t my property. Would Thornton try to sue for damages?

  I had taken a huge risk. I had irreparably damaged my career. Hell, it was over. I wouldn’t even survive in the documentary world with this hanging over my head. Not even Hugo could rehabilitate my career now. Shit was going to come down on me hard.

  I knew one thing. I wanted to be out of there when Michael came back and realized what I had done. I had seen his eyes, wild with rage, before he had stormed off and I didn’t want to meet that side of his personality ever again.

  I was exhausted, but I needed to keep moving. I picked up my phone and called a cab. While I waited, I went to the back of the bus and packed up my bags, nervous that Michael would come back at any moment. If he came back, I would just pretend I was quitting. Hopefully, I could slip away before he found out what I did. When I finished packing, I went to the kitchen for one last item. I pulled out an unopened bottle of wine from the cabinet. I had a feeling I would need the numbing effects later that night.

  It took forty minutes from when I called for the taxi to arrive. The driver managed to fit all the pieces of my luggage between the trunk and the front seat, and then I gave him the address for the hotel that I would spend the night at. As we pulled away, I asked the cabbie to stop at the concert stadium side entrance and wait until I came back. I flashed my pass to all the security guards along the way, until I was at the side stage.

  Sam was there, monitoring the crowds. “Hey, Katie.”

  I watched Tyler, working the stage and singing to the crowd. I couldn’t hold back the tears as I watched him for what I knew might be the last time.

  “Sam, did they finish the set, yet? Is this the encore?”

  Sam shook his head. “I think they’ve got one more song till they come off. And then two more for the encore.”

  I closed my eyes and let Tyler’s voice wash over me. A horrible lump was forming in my throat.

  “Hey, Katie, are you okay?” Sam had grabbed my elbow.

  I could barely talk. “I came by to say good-bye to Tyler. I’m leaving tonight. Do me a favor and keep an eye on him, okay?”

  Sam looked genuinely concerned. “What do you mean, you’re leaving tonight? What’s going on?”

  “I’ve got a car waiting. I’ve got to get out of here. Tonight. I can’t stay.” My explanation was gibberish, but I could barely think beyond the thought of saying good-bye to Tyler.

  Sam left me alone to watch the last song that I would see Cold Fusion perform. It was Sweet Oblivion. Listening to Tyler sing the words that moved me so much, seemed so surreal. I would carry that memory with me forever.

  When Tyler came off stage, I was still dabbing wildly at my tears. “Katie, hey.”

  “Hi Tyler.”


  Tyler looked nervous. Moments earlier, he had been confident and sure in front of thousands of people. Now he looked so uncertain of himself. “What’s going on?”

  I took a shaky breath. “I just came by to say good-bye to you. We’re wrapping up the shoots and I’m done with my job. I’m leaving tonight.”

  He looked devastated. “But, there’s still a few more concerts before the break. I thought…”

  I didn’t want Tyler to ever find out what I had done, that I had sacrificed my career to protect him. He already carried around enough guilt that didn’t belong to him. He wasn’t responsible for ruining my career. That was all on me. It was best if he never found out about the tapes.

  I put my hand on his arm. “Filming is winding way down. It doesn’t make sense for me to stick around. The last episode is practically finished. And I’ve decided I’m not going to re-sign for the next season, if you guys decide to continue. Reality TV just wasn’t my thing. I’m going to start in a whole new direction.”

  Just like that, his expression went blank. He looked defeated. “So you’re just leaving?”

  “Yes. It’s better this way.” I felt a tear slide down my cheek. “But I want you to know that I’ll always be a huge fan of yours. No matter what happens. I’ll always be your fan, Tyler.”

  The crowd was cheering wildly, waiting for the encore, but I barely heard the roar as Tyler stared at me. “Don’t go yet. I need to talk to you. Just wait till I’m finished with the show.”

  I looked at him imploringly. “It’s better for me if I just go.”

  Alex dragged him away, back to the stage. “C’mon Tyler. Talk later. We gotta get back out there.”

  I spun around immediately. I didn’t want to see the hurt look on his face for one more second. Somehow, through my tears, I made my way through the jumbled backstage maze of the arena and out to my waiting cab. On autopilot, I checked into the hotel and stumbled up to my room.

  I opened my bottle of wine and found a glass in the bathroom. It was good enough. I finished my first glass in record time. Gratefully, I realized that the wine was already working its wonders, because I hadn’t eaten all day. Months ago, I had started out my journey on Rock Star Diaries with a few glasses of wine and an empty stomach. It was fitting that this was how my journey would end.

  I poured another glass. There was one thing I needed to do before I could allow myself to fully embrace my heartache and sorrow. I needed to watch the video. I fired up my laptop and inserted the memory stick. The video player popped up and I clicked on the file.

  I felt numb as I watched Cassie telling Tyler about the baby. I watched Tyler looking confused and disbelieving at first, then trying to grapple with the situation as best he could. I finished the wine and poured a new glass. I watched the video again rather dispassionately, almost like I was studying it. The wine was working. One more viewing and I would destroy this last remnant of video that had changed my life forever. I sat at the small table and watched the video one last time as I slowly drained my glass again.

  The video ended. But the hurt was still there. My head collapsed against the table as I cried into my arms. Damn wine wasn’t working.

  Chapter 20

  Tyler barely made it through the encore. Alex had to step up and help him when he lost track of where he was in the first song. He tried to focus during the second song, but he just kept thinking that he should have gone after Katie. She didn’t get to just fucking walk away like that.

  Tyler left the stage quickly. He was hoping that she was still there, waiting like he had asked.

  He saw his bodyguard standing to the side, having a smoke. “Sam, have you seen Katie?”

  Sam nodded. “Yeah. She seemed pretty upset. She said she was leaving.”

  “Do you have your phone? Can you call her?” Tyler had a feeling she would ignore his calls.

  Sam pulled out his phone. “Sure man. Let me see.” He punched in her number and then listened for a minute. “Straight to voicemail.”

  Tyler was pissed now. “Damn.”

  Sam took a drag of his cigarette watching Tyler. “Look, she seemed pretty broken up about leaving you. I know you two are, uh, close. Are you two fighting?”

  “No, we’re not fighting. Her job is done, I guess. She’s just walking away.” Tyler shook his head. Why was he too stupid not to see this coming?

  Sam sized him up. “Something didn’t seem right about it. I’m suspicious by nature, comes with the job. Anyway, I talked to her cabbie, just in case. I know where he was taking her.”

  “What! Where?” Tyler felt adrenaline buzzing through his veins.

  Sam threw down his cigarette and crushed it with his shoe. “Parkside Suites. On Bellamy Drive. I can get you a car.”

  Forty minutes later, Tyler was at the hotel. Katie wasn’t answering the door to her room or her phone. He wasn’t going to let her leave town without talking to her.

  He went down to the reception desk with a half-baked idea in his head. He smiled at the cute girl. “Hey. My name is Tyler Matthews and my Producer booked a room for me here under her name for privacy, but she forgot to give me the key.”

  The girl’s face lit up. “Oh my God. You are Tyler Matthews, aren’t you? I knew you were playing the concert tonight, a lot of my friends are there, but I didn’t know you were staying here! Wait until they find out!”

  Tyler smiled. “Yeah. Let’s keep it a secret for now though. Otherwise, I’ll be mobbed by people.”

  “Oh sure. Of course. Can I get your autograph? Oh my God! And a picture? That would be so awesome.”

  Tyler felt his jaw clenching. “Yeah, no problem. If you can help me out with my room?”

  He autographed a pink piece of paper for her and then she snapped a photo. She was still squealing over the picture on her phone, when he cleared his throat. “Um – Can I get a room key?”

  She slid to the computer. “What name was it under again?”

  “Kaitlyn Winston.”

  She typed in the name. “Right. Yep, she was just here about an hour ago. I remember. Okay, let me activate a key for you.”

  It was as simple as that.

  He made it up to her room a few minutes later and knocked. There was still no answer, so he slid the key through the slot and entered.

  He saw Katie right away. She was slumped over the small wooden table, in front of her laptop, which was next to a nearly empty bottle of wine. She was passed out.

  He tapped gently on her shoulder, but she didn’t budge. She was out cold. Maybe he would stay with her tonight and make sure she was okay. He decided to carry her over to the bed so that she’d be more comfortable, but as he hoisted her up, he bumped his leg hard against the table. The screen on her laptop flashed on. He stared at the screen for a moment, a strange buzzing sensation filling his ears. A still image of him hugging Cassie appeared at the center of the screen.

  His blood ran cold. He carried Katie over to the bed and laid her down. What the fuck was on that computer? He went back to the little table and sat. With a sickening sense of dread he dragged the cursor over to the triangle ‘play’ button on the screen and clicked.

  He watched with growing revulsion as that horrible scene was replayed right before his eyes. But this time it was worse. Much, much worse. Because Katie had secretly recorded it. For Rock Star Diaries. And she was going to use it to make the show a huge fucking success, like she always wanted to do. She had betrayed him. Betrayed their friendship- their whatever the fuck it was that they had. All for the fucking show. It had been about the fucking show all along.

  He wanted to throw shit around. Climb on top of her and shake her until she woke up so that he could scream at her. Go into a complete blinding rage.

  But he didn’t. The laptop screen went black again. Tyler stood up and walked away without looking back.

  Chapter 21

  The consequences of my actions caught up to me rather quickly. Thornton terminated my contract and sicced his lawy
ers on me as soon as he found out what I had done. With Hugo’s help, I retained a horrifically expensive lawyer to advise and defend me, if necessary. Hugo told me to lie low for a bit; Thornton was on a rampage. So, with potential financial ruin looming in my future, I sold my expensive New York City apartment and moved in with my sister’s and her family in West Virginia.

  I couldn’t just sit around doing nothing, it wasn’t in my nature, but my attempts at rebuilding my career were pathetic. My name was now toxic in the film industry, so I spent day and night trying to figure out my next steps. I had the crazy idea that I could produce independent films and start slowly making a name for myself. I was willing to offer my services for free, and with my experience, that was a hell of a deal. In the course of three weeks, I met with four aspiring indie filmmakers. It was a disaster. Each filmmaker thought their movie was going to be the next best thing. In reality, they were pieces of crap that I didn’t want to touch with a ten-foot pole. I was feeling hopeless about my predicament, but I never regretted my decision.

  My biggest regret was losing Tyler in all this mess. Not that I ever really had him, but there had been something between us. Hell, I loved him still. Even if he was about to have a baby with another woman.

  When I had said good-bye to Tyler at the concert, I had thought a clean break would be the best thing. I didn’t want him to find out about the video. And I was still reeling from the baby news. I thought I could leave him and move on with my life. That he would accept his responsibilities to Cassie and maybe even marry her. I knew what he had to be thinking after watching his sister go through so much heartache raising Hailey alone.

  But I couldn’t let go of him. I didn’t want to. My sister was getting tired of hearing about Tyler. I had every current episode of Rock Star Diaries on the DVR and I watched them constantly. My sister’s comments had gone from ‘I can’t believe you slept with that guy!’ to ‘I don’t know what you see in him beyond his looks – he’s a slimeball’ within a matter of days. I had argued that he was portrayed that way on purpose, but that he was in reality quite different. I didn’t really blame her for rolling her eyes at me; I was the one who had portrayed Tyler like that.