Rock Me: Sexy (New Adult Rockstar Romance) (New Adult Rock Star Erotic Romance)

by Quinn, Arabella

  When I had first settled down at my sister’s house, after running scared from Thornton’s wrath for a week, I had called Tyler and left a message. I was missing him so much. He was on break from tour and I even fantasized that he would hear my voice, tell me how much he missed me and beg me to come to him. I would have dropped everything that very second.

  Instead, it had been crushing when he didn’t even bother to call me back. I tried back several times, always leaving a message. But he never returned my calls. He had moved on.

  When it aired, I watched Episode 6 of Rock Star Diaries with great trepidation. What if I had missed something? What if the video had survived somehow and aired on the show? My stomach twisted with nerves. I recognized most of the episode. It was exactly the way I had left it. The last ten minutes had me so nauseous I could barely watch.

  I was so nervous, but there was no sign of Tyler or Cassie. The ending focused on some tension between Alex and Tommy. A few different scenes had been spliced together with judicious editing to look seamless. It looked like they were fighting over a girl. I watched the credits roll with enormous relief. The ending wasn’t that dynamic. A bit flat even, but it was extremely satisfying to me. Apparently, I had found all the tape after all. I had done my job well.

  ***

  As the mania surrounding Rock Star Diaries increased with the airing of each new episode, Tyler had grown even more withdrawn from the world. He knew what was coming.

  Katie had finally stopped leaving him messages. Did that psycho really think that he would be able to brush off what she did to him? Her secret was only safe for a few more days, until Episode 6 aired. Then the world would know that he was about to become a father. And her deceit and betrayal would be displayed in all its hideous detail.

  Maybe Katie thought he would forgive her once the show ended to huge acclaim. He would think that she of all people would know better than that. He guessed that she had probably struggled with her conscience to do it. She definitely felt some guilt; her tearful good-bye and her drunken wine binge showed him that.

  But it must not have been too big a burden on her morals when she cheerfully left him messages acting like they could still be friends. Maybe she was just sucking up to him because she had changed her mind again and wanted to return to the producer role after all? It didn’t matter though, he had already decided. He didn’t care what the guys wanted; he wasn’t going to sign up for another season of bullshit.

  Tyler had other things to worry about. He had to push Katie out of his mind forever. He was miserable; he could feel the sadness deep in his bones. He had been heartbroken, but definitely hardened, by Katie. Never again would he let a woman do that to him. He regretted breaking the ‘no repeat sex’ rule more than he did getting Cassie pregnant.

  The guys thought he was depressed about the baby. It was a rough blow to his life, but he was going to take his responsibility seriously. He was going to be a great father and he’d be there for Cassie, too. He’d help her out financially and emotionally if she needed that. But that wasn’t what had him so severely depressed.

  Katie’s betrayal had completely raked him over the coals. The guys didn’t know the whole truth. They suspected that she just moved on when she found out about the baby. The only person that knew what happened between them was Sabrina. He had spent a week visiting his sister and Hailey when the tour break started, and she had helped him begin to function again. To keep moving on.

  Now he was bitter. He had fallen for Katie’s lies. He could see it so clearly in hindsight. She had fed him exactly what he wanted to hear, stringing him along. But, in reality, it was like the damn TV show, all fake. It was all a big old joke on him, but that didn’t seem to lessen the pain any.

  Tyler glanced over at Cassie. He had to stop this endless loop of misery running in his head and concentrate on the baby. They were sitting in the waiting room at Cassie’s obstetrician. Tyler had fought like hell to be included in her appointments.

  She’d had every excuse in the book as to why he couldn’t go with her to the point that he started questioning her very pregnancy. That had shut her up quickly; she was forced to relent. Despite his suspicion regarding the pregnancy, it was plain as day now that she actually was pregnant.

  It turned out that her OB/GYN was located in Seattle, which is where she apparently lived. All these years, and he never knew that. Tyler had to fly out from Texas for the appointment. Cassie didn’t look particularly happy that he had kept his word to go to the doctor with her. But Tyler was no fool. He needed to know for sure that this was his baby.

  Tyler kept himself hidden behind a magazine, not really reading it, as he felt the stares of a bunch of ladies in various stages of pregnancy, eyeing him up. Did they recognize him or was it just really weird for a dude to be at the OB/GYN? He couldn’t wait for this to be over.

  When the nurse finally called Cassie’s name, Tyler stood up. Cassie sighed, but didn’t try to stop him from going with her. She was sent to a bathroom with a specimen cup and Tyler was led to the examining room by a nurse.

  “You must be the proud Daddy? Is this your first?”

  Tyler sat down and waited nervously. “Yes.”

  Cassie arrived in the examination room and the nurse took her vitals. Shortly after, the doctor came in and began his exam. Tyler had imagined her getting into a paper gown and doing the whole stirrups and probing thing. When that didn’t happen, he was relieved. The exam was boring, a lot of talk about nutrition and prenatal vitamins and measuring her belly with a tape measure.

  Suddenly, the doctor was finished. That was it? He asked Cassie if she had any questions and she shook her head. He got up to leave, but Tyler stopped him.

  “Wait, doc, I have some questions.”

  The doctor turned and sat back down on the rolling stool. “Certainly. Ask away.”

  How could he find out if he was the father? “So, you said she’s 17 weeks pregnant. So the baby was conceived around Thanksgiving, right?”

  The doctor took out a cardboard circle with dates and numbers all over it. He spun the wheel slowly until some numbers lined up. “So, it looks like this little guy was conceived around Christmas. Looks like December 28th.”

  Cassie looked nervous. “But doctor, the measurements aren’t precise, right? I know I conceived earlier than that.”

  Christ. She had fucking lied to him.

  The doctor looked back and forth between them. He spun the wheel again, frowning at the numbers. “If you conceived on Thanksgiving, you’d be about 22 weeks right now. You’re definitely not that far along.”

  Tyler glared at Cassie. “Doc, is it possible that she’s more than 17 weeks? That the baby is too small or something?”

  The doctor flipped open Cassie’s chart. “Let me see. You had an ultrasound at week 13. Everything was normal. Baby is a boy. Measurements are normal. Due date is September 20th. No, this baby was not conceived in November.”

  Cassie’s mouth fell open. She looked shocked. “Doctor, that’s not possible! I need a new ultrasound. Something’s not right.”

  Tyler felt disgusted. “Cassie, I’m going to find out eventually when we do the paternity test. You might as well just give it up.”

  The doctor frowned. “Is the paternity of this baby in question? Because we can do a paternity test now.”

  “Before the baby is born?” Tyler asked.

  The doctor snapped Cassie’s chart closed. “Yes. I’d need to take a blood sample from Cassie. And I’d need a cheek swab from you. Fragments of DNA from the fetus can be found in the mother’s blood. We can be more than 99 percent certain if you are the father or not.”

  Tyler stood up. “I want to do it. How long will it take to know?”

  “Five days. A week at most. Let me go get the nurse.” The doctor left the room.

  Tyler was pacing in the tiny room. “Fuck, Cassie. Am I the father?”

  Cassie’s shoulders slumped. “No.”

  “Who is?”
/>   She wiped her nose. “Robbie Asher from Soulless.”

  While he should have felt relief, he just felt hurt. “Why would you do this to me?”

  Cassie cried out, “Because you’re famous. You have Rock Star Diaries and tons of money and I know you’d be a better father than Robbie. I was just looking out for my baby, Tyler.”

  “Shit. Shit! I can’t believe you’d do this to me.”

  Three days later, Tyler sat alone in his Texas apartment waiting for the start of Episode 6. Alex and Nick were at a local country-western bar that was throwing a big viewing party. Part of the proceeds from the event was going to Tyler’s charity. But Tyler couldn’t stomach the thought of attending and begged off at the last minute. They didn’t know what was coming.

  The embarrassing pregnancy reveal. He had been braced for it to happen. And now, none of it was even fucking true. It would all eventually end up looking like a giant publicity stunt. Hopefully it wouldn’t ding his credibility too much. He felt like such a chump, used and abused by everyone around him. He remembered when he lived just to be in the spotlight. Now he just wished he could hide away from everyone.

  Most of the show focused on Alex and Tommy. Tyler was hardly in it. They were saving him up for last. When the show ended, he sat back confused. No video. No pregnancy reveal. He was stunned. What was going on?

  Chapter 22

  It took a week for Tyler to make up his mind. He needed to talk to Katie. He just couldn’t get her out of his mind. Her sweet phone messages haunted him and he had to know the truth. Nothing made sense anymore. He called her, but when she didn’t answer, he didn’t leave a message. What the hell would he say to her anyway?

  He dug the worn business card, the one he got at the Vibe headquarters meeting, out of his wallet. Kaitlyn Winston. Co-Producer. Blackstone Films. It listed an address in New York City.

  He would track her down and find out what happened. Just to ease his worry about the video surfacing. He tried to ignore the fact that he felt a stirring of excitement at the prospect of seeing her again.

  It took a couple of days to arrange a trip to New York City. It was a Tuesday morning when Tyler arrived at the address on the business card. He hadn’t shaved in days in preparation for coming to New York. It worked fairly well. A scruffy face, hat and sunglasses kept most people from paying too much attention to him.

  He had shown the card to the receptionist in the lobby of the building, but Katie wasn’t listed in the directory. “Can I speak to someone at Blackstone Films?”

  The receptionist called Blackstone Films and they must have verified that Katie used to be an employee there. The receptionist hung up. “Wanda said you can go on up to Blackstone and speak to someone there. Take this guest pass and take the elevator to the seventh floor.”

  Tyler rode the elevator up, wondering what had happened to Katie. He recalled that she had mentioned to him the night she left that she was changing paths with her career. If she had expected such a success with Rock Star Diaries, why would she have changed directions so suddenly?

  The receptionist at Blackstone Films confirmed that Katie used to work for them. “She hasn’t been an employee here for months, though.”

  Tyler was frustrated. Could he sweet-talk this lady into giving him information? She was older and definitely wasn’t all that impressed by his appearance. “Do you know her current address? Or where she’s currently employed. I really need to contact her.”

  “No, I’m sorry, Mr. Matthews. I couldn’t give out that information even if I knew it.”

  Tyler sighed. He could try one more avenue. What was the guy’s name? “Can I talk to her old boss? Hugo?”

  The woman’s eyes opened wide. “Mr. Black? You want to talk to Mr. Black? Oh, I don’t think he’d… Well, he’s a very busy man and -”

  Tyler cut her off. “Can you just call him? Ask if he’ll see me? Tell him I’m here to talk about Ms. Winston.”

  The lady gave him an empathetic look. “I guess I could try, but like I said…” She shrugged and picked up the phone.

  After a few seconds she spoke into the phone. “I’m so sorry to bother you, Mr. Black. There’s a man here to see you. He wants to discuss something about a Ms. Kaitlyn Winston, who used to work here.”

  She listened. “Mr. Matthews, he says.” She paused for a long moment. “No, he didn’t give me a card, but he doesn’t look like any kind of lawyer… Yes, sir. I’ll send him right up.”

  “Well!” She looked amazed. “He’s willing to see you. Take the back elevator up one floor. And take that hat and those sunglasses off or he’ll toss you out on your ear.”

  It took Tyler five minutes to make it into Hugo Black’s inner sanctum. The plush office was impressive, the walls filled with plaques and awards and the large window displayed a panoramic view of New York City. Tyler sat across the desk from the man he remembered meeting at the premiere party.

  Hugo folded his hands on the desk in front of him. “Mr. Matthews. I knew your name sounded familiar, but I just couldn’t place it. Of course, I looked you up and was reminded that you are a member of the band Cold Fusion.”

  Tyler nodded. What did Katie ever see in this arrogant geezer?

  “And of course, now I see, under all that stuff…” his hand swatted vaguely in Tyler’s direction, “…that I remember you from the premiere party in Vegas. What can I do for you?”

  Tyler cut through the bullshit. “I’m looking for Katie.”

  “I gathered. For what reason?” Hugo leaned back in his leather chair.

  Tyler didn’t like this guy. “Do you know where she is?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  Tyler met the man’s penetrating stare. “I came to New York to see her. I need to talk to her.”

  Hugo tapped his fingers against the desk. “I’m not so sure she’d want to talk to you.”

  “She’s been calling me. She wants to see me.”

  Hugo’s eyes narrowed as he contemplated Tyler’s words. “That may be true. But let me be more precise, Tyler. I’m not sure that I want you to talk to her.”

  Tyler tried to keep his cool. “Why not?”

  Hugo answered simply, “You’re not good enough for her.”

  Tyler’s hand clenched into a fist. He felt like popping this guy in the face. “And you are, right?”

  Hugo chuckled. “This isn’t a pissing match. I’m protecting her.”

  “From me?”

  Hugo nodded. “Yes.”

  Tyler lashed out angrily. “I’ve never done anything to hurt Katie.”

  Hugo’s hand slammed down on the desk. “Oh no? You’re the one that made her flush her career down the toilet. She sacrificed her whole bloody career for you… And I highly doubt you were worth it.”

  His angry accusation swam in Tyler’s head. Nothing made sense. “What happened?”

  Hugo regained his composure. “She doesn’t want you to know.”

  Tyler was going to keep digging until he got some answers. And this man knew them. “Is it about the video? Of Cassie and me?”

  Hugo raised an eyebrow in surprise, but said nothing.

  Tyler pressed him. “So you know about that?”

  “Obviously you do, too. You were never supposed to. What do you know about it?” Hugo stood up and faced the window overlooking the city.

  The cat and mouse game was getting old, but Tyler played along. “I know that Katie set me up for her own gain. I don’t call that much of a career sacrifice.”

  Hugo shook his head. “Hmmm. You think you know things. But you don’t.”

  Tyler jumped up from his chair. He was tired of the cryptic remarks. “What don’t I know?”

  Hugo turned to him. “She loves you.”

  Tyler couldn’t believe it. This asshole was playing him for a fool. “If she loved me so much, then why did she betray me?”

  “She didn’t betray you. She saved you.” He spoke with the authority of fact behind his statement.

  Tyle
r kicked at the chair in frustration. “I need to know the truth. Things aren’t adding up. Nothing makes sense. My life is shit right now and I want to know why.”

  Hugo calmly gazed out the window. “Did the tape air? Did it hurt you at all?”

  “No.”

  Hugo shrugged. “Forget about it then. It’s over. You’ve got the world dancing at your feet right now, Tyler. How is your life so shitty?”

  He couldn’t just forget it. He was miserable. “Because she ran away from me.”

  It just slipped out. He had only realized it fully when he said it. He was miserable because she was gone. Not because of the tape or anything else.

  Hugo sighed. “Do you still love her?”

  Tyler’s heart was pounding in his chest; his palms were sweaty. Panic ripped through him. He couldn’t move. Couldn’t think. What was happening to him?

  “Yes.”

  The clarity of truth suddenly came crashing down on him like the weight of a thousand bricks. He was in love with Katie.

  Chapter 23

  I was scared to be back on my old turf. New York City, a city I loved, felt like enemy territory. Hugo had forced me to return. He said that I couldn’t hide out forever, cowering in fear of Thornton. He argued that I had made Rock Star Diaries the huge phenomena that it was and that Thornton could never take that away from me.

  I had rustled up no prospects on my own, so when Hugo said he might have a job opportunity for me, I had no chance but to see what it was. Hugo assured me that it was legitimate; he had pulled some strings. He said that power wasn’t worth having unless you wielded it every once in awhile.