How to Rebuild (Hearts & Horsepower #4)

by A. K. Evans

  Fuck. I wanted that.

  For the rest of my life, I wanted to come home from work and have her ask me about my day.

  “It was good,” I answered, the tightness still lingering. “I got done precisely what I expected to get done. But that’s the norm for me. What about you? Aside from the interruption of your flowers, how was your day?”

  “Good. I’m still struggling a bit with what to do about the upcoming product launch,” she shared.

  “What do you mean?” I questioned her.

  “The spring collection,” she clarified. “Porter and I have been talking about it for a few weeks now, trying to decide if it might make more sense to do a soft launch with everything that happened.”

  “I wouldn’t do that,” I told her.

  “Really? Why not?”

  “Have you ever done that before?” I asked.

  Elise shook her head. “No.”

  “So, why are you starting now?” I pressed. “It’s like you’re admitting you don’t think your stuff is good enough. And I’m pretty certain that’s not how you actually feel, right?”

  “No. I just… well, I hadn’t even considered not doing the normal launch, but Porter brought it to my attention that it might not be received well. He isn’t wrong about that and suggested a soft launch as a way to get a new product out there without shoving it down people’s throats. I just don’t want it to seem like I’m only concerned with making a profit by launching another product right after everything that happened with the winter launch,” she murmured.

  I hated hearing the anguish in her tone.

  “But it’s a business,” I declared. “That’s the whole point of what you’re doing. Look, I’m not the head of your marketing department, and I don’t do that for a living, but if it were me, I wouldn’t be hiding. If I’m confident in my work and the product I’m delivering, I will give it the same attention I gave every other product I launched. And if it was happening after something major transpired like what occurred earlier this year, it’s even more of a reason to push hard and show you aren’t afraid to bounce back better than ever.”

  Elise considered my words for a moment. “You really think so?”

  “Absolutely.”

  Elise didn’t respond. But a moment later, I felt her hands at my sides as she came up behind me and slipped her arms around me. Pressing the front of her body to the back of mine, she sighed, “Thank you, baby. That helps me feel better about the fact that I was leaning toward doing the big launch.”

  I gave her hands a squeeze, turned around, and looked down at her. “You’re Elise Flynn,” I started. “My lady doesn’t back down from anything. She goes after what she wants, and she gets it.”

  Elise beamed at me.

  I touched my mouth to hers.

  Then I returned my attention to our dinner.

  And thirty-five minutes later, I fed Elise what she claimed was the best lobster mac and cheese she ever ate.

  I didn’t think I’d be this nervous.

  But here I was, shaking and trembling.

  It was all the anticipation of what I knew was bound to be ahead for me. I just hoped Kieran figured it out soon, so I didn’t have to ruin what I had planned for him by leaving this spot.

  It was also a bit of a lesson in trust.

  I was in my bedroom. More specifically, I was in bed.

  And I was waiting for Kieran to come to find me so he could get his surprise.

  It wasn’t long ago when we finished up the fantastic dinner he’d made. If I was completely honest, I hadn’t expected his lobster mac and cheese to be as good as it was. That alone was delicious. But he brought his homemade dessert, too, and I was left struggling to try to figure out what I liked best.

  Shortly after we finished dinner and dessert, Kieran and I had cuddled up on the couch with each other. I knew what I had planned for him for the evening, but I needed to give myself a few minutes to allow the food to settle and work up the courage to follow through.

  I hadn’t ever done anything like this before. I never thought I could.

  But when I considered how I felt about Kieran and I recalled the question he asked me the first time we were together—do you trust me—I immediately knew this is what I wanted to do.

  So, after talking to Kieran for a while, I eventually excused myself.

  “I’m going to run upstairs really quick to use the bathroom and get your surprise,” I told him.

  “Looking forward to it,” he replied, his voice deeper and sexier than usual.

  I was certain that Kieran had expected I’d be a few minutes and would return. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. I was waiting for him. And if there was one thing he’d insisted was worth doing, it was learning to be patient. I just hoped he wouldn’t be so good at doing that very same thing that he never came to check on me.

  That was the plan.

  Get myself ready. Wait. Hope he grows concerned that I’ve been gone so long and comes to check on me. Then he’d get his prize.

  I was dressed—or perhaps, I was mostly undressed—wearing lingerie that showed far more skin than it covered. After seeing it on, I wondered if it was pointless even to wear it, considering how much it didn’t hide. But it covered the important bits and added an element of seduction, so I left it on. Then I got in my bed and tied a silk scarf around my eyes.

  There was no way for me to know precisely how much time had passed, but it felt like I’d been there at least six or seven minutes waiting for him.

  Was he ever going to show up?

  Patience, Elise.

  Patience.

  I took in another breath, doing my best to try to calm not only my nerves but also the growing anticipation. I’d spent at least the last half of the total time I’d been waiting, thinking about what Kieran would do once he found me. The thrill of it had me itching to squeeze my legs together to find some relief as my fingers curled into the blanket beneath my body.

  Not being able to see, I had a feeling my other senses were going to take over. So far, the only one I was using was my hearing. I was straining to listen for Kieran’s footsteps. For so long, it had been silent. So when I finally, finally heard something, a small sound escaped from the back of my throat.

  The anticipation was too much.

  The buildup to this had taken over my body.

  Tremors were running through me. I didn’t want to ruin the moment, so I took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down.

  It worked.

  And the next thing I knew, Kieran started speaking.

  “Elise, are you o—”

  He’d stopped himself. He must have seen me here, wearing practically nothing, and froze. For a long time, there were no words. And even though I’d been waiting here for him in silence the whole time, something about knowing he was standing there looking at me, completely silent, while I couldn’t see him was thrilling.

  A moment later, I heard movement.

  Then, nothing.

  It felt like hours had passed before Kieran’s voice, thick with emotion, asked, “What are you doing, lady?”

  “Waiting for you,” I replied quietly, dropping my head to the left side since it sounded like his voice was coming from that side.

  There was more movement.

  Suddenly, I heard his voice on the other side as he wondered, “And what do you want me to do?”

  My lips parted. I swallowed hard. “Whatever you want.”

  I couldn’t be sure, but I was pretty confident I heard a strangled sound come from him. Maybe Kieran was losing a bit of his control.

  A bit of pride surged through me. I liked being able to do that to him.

  “Arms above your head,” he ordered. He was still in the same spot on the right side of the bed.

  I did what he asked and lifted my arms above my head.

  “Don’t move them, Elise,” he stated firmly. “No matter what, do not move your arms. Do you understand?”

  I dipp
ed my chin and rasped, “Yes.”

  There was the sound of more movement. I tried to figure it out and decided Kieran must have been taking his shirt off. Then the bed dipped with his weight.

  God, I wanted him to touch me.

  He didn’t.

  Time just kept ticking by. It took everything I had not to scream in frustration.

  Kieran partially granted my wish to have him touch me when I felt his fingertips just barely brush the skin at my hips while he curled them around the two thin straps on either side of my barely-there panties.

  “Lift,” he encouraged.

  I lifted my hips.

  Kieran dragged the material down my legs, doing his best to avoid touching me.

  Once they were gone, I no longer felt him beside me on the bed.

  There was another long stretch of silence before he instructed, “Bend your knees.”

  Pressing the soles of my feet into the mattress, I followed his command.

  From the end of the bed, Kieran urged, “Separate your feet. Let me see you.”

  I thought I was going to combust as I parted my thighs. Knowing how turned on I was, there was no way Kieran couldn’t see the evidence.

  “Look at you,” he whispered, the loose hold on his control waning.

  I needed him to touch me. I needed him to do something other than just give me commands. What had I been thinking about putting myself in this position?

  “Kieran, baby, please,” I begged. “Please touch me.”

  “You said I could do what I want,” he returned.

  I rolled my hips in the air. There was nothing there to press my soaked core against, but I couldn’t help myself. I was desperate, and because I wasn’t getting any relief, I groaned in frustration.

  “Stay still,” he demanded.

  I immediately dropped my hips to the bed.

  “Patience, lady,” he reminded me, his voice gentle and encouraging. “Trust me.”

  Patience. I knew that. I just needed patience. And trust.

  Slow, deep breaths.

  Kieran wouldn’t leave me like this without seeing me through. I knew that. Deep down inside, I knew he’d never just leave me desperate and needy and not follow through. He didn’t have that in him. That’s where the trust came in.

  He was highly skilled in patience and self-control, so he’d surely draw this out as long as he could. But he’d never leave me high and dry.

  This was the reason I’d decided to do this. Well, part of the reason. I wanted Kieran to have something special, but more than that, I wanted to give him some indication that I was beginning to trust him.

  Even though I felt myself falling, I didn’t know if I could hand over my heart. But my body? I could do that. I could trust Kieran with my body. I hoped that it would help strengthen that connection between us, and I’d find a way to trust that he’d handle my heart with care.

  Still hyperaware of the silence in the room, I remained motionless.

  Patience would equal a reward.

  I wanted a reward from him.

  The next thing I knew, I heard what had to be his jeans falling to the floor.

  Excitement and desire pulsed between my legs.

  I listened to his footsteps draw nearer. When they stopped, my lungs did, too.

  “Breathe, Elise,” he whispered.

  The air rushed forward as I honored his request.

  Once I’d taken two or three slow breaths, I felt the whisper-soft touch of Kieran’s fingers on my abdomen. They trailed lightly up my torso, coming close to my nipples but never making contact there. Tracing over the top swells of my cleavage, Kieran had me practically panting.

  His hand continued its ascent until he landed at the side of my throat just below my jaw. I felt his thumb reach up and stroke along my jaw several times. It was incredibly sweet and tender.

  Finally, the bed depressed, and I knew he’d gotten in beside me.

  The anticipation was continuing to build.

  “Legs,” Kieran warned.

  It was then I realized I’d kept my feet apart but dropped my knees in to touch one another. It was all done in a subconscious and vain attempt to get relief. I parted my thighs again.

  “Don’t close them again,” he advised.

  “Okay,” I whispered.

  “Turn your head toward the sound of my voice,” Kieran instructed.

  I rolled my head in that direction.

  “Part your lips.”

  I did that, growing more and more excited.

  Some time passed without another command, and I found myself wondering, once again, what made me think this was a wise idea. Kieran would have been more than happy just to have sex.

  No.

  Make love.

  He would have been more than happy to make love.

  Why did I have to be creative? No doubt, I could have had him inside me by now.

  Just when I thought I could no longer stand it, Kieran rewarded me. I felt his hand shift slightly on my neck until his thumb reached my bottom lip. He curled it over my lip and said, “Use your tongue.”

  Understanding what he wanted, I wet the tip of his thumb with my tongue. Then I swirled it around the whole thing.

  “Suck.”

  My lips closed around his thumb, and I sucked. I did that for a few seconds before Kieran ordered, “Stop.”

  I stopped sucking, and he slid his finger out. He trailed it along the front of my throat, down my chest, and over to my breast. He cupped it in his hand, squeezed, and brushed his thumb over my nipple.

  I moaned as my hips bucked.

  Suddenly, his hand was gone.

  “Stay still,” he commanded.

  Shit.

  If I wanted my rewards, rewards that had him doing things I’d been burning up for him to do, I needed to stay still.

  The silence stretched again before Kieran reminded me, “Make sure your hands stay where they are, Elise. You hear me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Turn your head toward me again.”

  As I did that, I also parted my lips. I hoped he’d give me the chance to suck his thumb again to earn another reward. I desperately needed him to touch me.

  Kieran did not give me his thumb.

  No.

  I got something much, much better.

  He gave me the silky-smooth tip of his cock.

  I wanted to lick and suck, but I didn’t want to do anything until he told me. I had to trust he was going to give me the command.

  Patience.

  Patience.

  Patience.

  “Use your tongue,” he finally urged. I could hear the strain in his voice.

  At least I wasn’t the only one who was on the verge of losing control.

  I parted my lips a little wider and was careful only to use my tongue. Much like I’d done with his thumb, I swirled my tongue all around the head of his penis and ran it over his piercing several times.

  Kieran’s hand was back on my breast. As he stroked his finger over the sheer fabric covering my nipple, he rasped, “Suck.”

  I moaned and sucked. I licked and sucked. I did everything I could do with my mouth and fought to keep my hips right where they were. It paid off in a big way.

  Because a moment later, Kieran’s hand drifted down my body and landed right between my legs. He was continuing to touch me softly and tenderly. I loved it so much, I sucked harder and more enthusiastically.

  Kieran groaned, brought his free hand to the back of my head, and held it steady as he gently thrust his hips forward. I held my mouth open for him and allowed my tongue to glide along his length with each thrust. Even though I could hear how much it was affecting him, Kieran didn’t stop rewarding me. He continued to play between my legs.

  This went on for a long time before I lost Kieran’s hands and his cock. But within seconds, he buried his face between my legs. Instinct took over, and my hands went into his hair. Kieran pulled back and growled, “Hands.”

  N
eeding his mouth back on me, willing to do anything for it, I raised my arms above my head again.

  Then I waited.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  I didn’t know if I had the patience. Everything inside me wanted to rip the blindfold off and take charge. My elbows dropped wider, but my hands remained above my head. I began crawling my hands to either side of my head. When my fingers gripped the material in my hands, something else caught my attention.

  My sense of touch.

  Kieran’s hands hadn’t moved from where he had them wrapped around my thighs. I had a feeling he was watching me and saw the moment I reached for the blindfold because his fingers pressed into the flesh of my legs.

  No.

  No, I wasn’t going to ruin this.

  He deserved it.

  I needed it.

  Kieran would take care of me. I knew he would.

  Releasing my grip on the material, I pulled my hands away and shifted them higher above my head.

  Fueled by desire, my tongue came out and licked my lips. There was a groan just before I felt Kieran’s beard tickling me and his tongue swiping through the wetness.

  “Baby,” I breathed.

  He growled and feasted harder.

  I was so primed, so ready, it wasn’t long before I felt myself right on the cusp of an orgasm. But then I lost Kieran’s mouth and struggled to hold back from crying out in frustration.

  Somehow, perhaps by a miracle, I succeeded.

  And not a minute later, Kieran gave me what I knew he always would. His body came over mine, he slid inside, and his chest was brushing up against mine. After two slow thrusts, he stopped moving.

  His voice got soft and gentle. “Wrap your legs around me, Elise.”

  He was instantly wrapped up in me.

  I felt his hands on either side of my face. Then he was sliding the satin blindfold up and away from my eyes. When our gazes met, I swore I could see something in his eyes that I’d never seen before. It was intense, unyielding, and something indescribable.

  What it was, I didn’t know. I just knew it was huge.

  “I want your hands on me while I make love to you, lady,” he started, his voice hoarse. “And I want to see your eyes. Okay?”

  I nodded.

  Kieran didn’t move.