Always Upbeat / All That

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  It was the first day of school, and I felt like all eyes were on me at Lockwood High. You might as well call me the cowardly lion, as I couldn’t face all the folks talking about me. Even though I could barely hear some of them, I knew what they were saying.

  One girl rolled her eyes at me and said, “She thought she was all that. Now she has nothing.”

  This other chick laughed and said, “Blake’s girl no more. He dropped her.”

  The dude that had much sweet style whispered, “The best cheerleader, but they certainly didn’t want her to be the captain. Didn’t you hear they fired her?”

  The last comment he made was not true. However, they did not care that they heard the story wrong. And what did it matter anyway? I certainly felt worthless.

  What was worse than feeling like a loser was being excluded from my girls. Walking into the school together had always been our thing. However, this year I had to watch them stroll in as a foursome. Looking fly, as I knew they would. Holding their heads up high, which they should. And working it like only they could. I realized how much I loved them: Hallie for her outgoing personality. Ella for her sweet heart. Eva for her bold sassiness. And Randal for her reserved demeanor.

  They saw me, and I so wanted them to stop. I wanted them to ask me how I was doing. Maybe even tell me that I looked good. Would it take much of their energy for them to talk to me for a second and catch me up on their world? But they kept going, and it took every ounce of dignity I could muster up to not run and hide. This was going to be a tough year.

  My mom was with me to make sure I got my odd and even classes changed: AP English, Chemistry, US History, and Math III. I was so happy I had Musical Theater and PE, but I didn’t want too easy of a schedule. I still wanted to impress college recruiters. Therefore, I had French III and Statistics. College here I come. My focus would be on making sure I was ready for the next level. SATs were coming up in a couple of months. My GPA was a 3.5, but I needed to crank it up because the schools I was interested in required a 3.75. I had work to do, and with no social life, I could do it.

  Finally, I made it to lunch. Even the unpopular kids heard I was branded a chump. Their table was not full, but I got the mean eye not to sit there. Other tables I passed were full. The table all the way back in the corner had a couple of science geeks and a couple of empty chairs. When I asked them if I could sit there, none of them even looked up. I wanted to plead and beg for my friends to take me in, but this was going to have to do.

  When I reached to pull the chair out, strong hands pulled it out for me. “Can I sit with you?”

  I looked up and smiled for the first time that day. Kind Brenton Strong was standing with a tray, and he was sporting his brand-new, first-day-of-school digs rather well. I motioned for him to sit down.

  “You know, word’s out I got the plague. You don’t wanna catch the ‘unpopular’ disease. You might wanna sit somewhere else,” I warned him.

  “I think you know me well enough by now to know that I don’t care what people think or say. You shouldn’t either. Not looking as good as you do, anyway,” Brenton said, stepping up his game.

  I knew he liked me. I was not dumb. He had been flirting for the last couple of months. But to pull out my chair, give me a compliment any girl would blush over, and stare me down … what was up? What was his angle? With all I was dealing with, I did not even have time to figure it out, so I just started eating. Brenton kept staring.

  “What?” I said.

  “Is something wrong?” he asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

  Lots of giggling filled the air. I looked over and felt like I had been kicked in the gut again. Blake walked into the cafeteria; my depression went up a notch.

  “That can’t have you hung up,” he said, as he motioned his head in the direction of Blake.

  Seething, I said, “He’s a trip. Isn’t he supposed to be going out with Jackie? What’s up with the short skirt he’s talking to now? So tacky.”

  “Yeah, you still talking like you care. Want me to go get him for you?” Brenton said with a little attitude, clearly upset that I still had feelings for Blake.

  I didn’t tell him not to get Blake, and I didn’t tell him to get him either. Then he put down his food, turned my chair toward his, and said, “Why don’t you get it? He’s moved on. You’re gorgeous. You’re smart. And you deserve more.”

  “Yeah, whatever, says the boy who has no girlfriend,” I uttered.

  “It’s not like I can’t get one but whatever,” he said, even more frustrated with me than I was with Blake.

  As he was about to get up, I placed my hand on his wrist. “I’m sorry. I was completely out of line. I didn’t mean that at all.”

  Brenton was coming at me hard. I simply wanted to come back at him harder, but he was coming at me because he cared. I needed to show him I appreciated that.

  Trying to get Brenton to understand, I said, “It’s my fault with Blake … that’s all. It’s hard for me to get over him … knowing I’m the reason he’s gone.”

  “Are you kidding?” he said. “He’s my cousin, but he had a wandering eye way before you didn’t answer some call. He should’ve appreciated that he had a girl with a life. He’s not the only one who can have it going on. The thing I really dig about you … yeah, you’re fine. You’re fly. You’re fearless. All that’s cool, and I mean … no brother wants to have an ugly girl … I’m just saying.”

  I smiled.

  “No, seriously, what I admire … what I like … what I really dig about you is that you always got something going on. If it’s not you studying or thinking about the next level, you’re trying to take your team all the way to the state cheer deal, or you’re going to volunteer somewhere. You’re always on the move, and Blake was a little jealous of you, frankly. You need a man who’s confident enough in his own game … that can be proud enough of his girl doing her own thing too.”

  “And what? You wanna be that guy?” Getting closer, he whispered, “You know I do.” I was really uncomfortable because I felt lost … because that always upbeat girl that he was talking about was gone. I did not know her anymore. So I looked down, embarrassed, but he took his masculine hand and placed it under my chin and pulled my face upward toward him.

  In a smoother tone than Brenton had ever used, he said, “You have no reason to walk around here feeling down. Get the Charli Black we both know back. And if you can’t find her, let me bring her out.”

  Then he leaned over and kissed me. It was like the cafeteria stood still and so did my heart. Brenton Strong had it going on.

  “Okay, just because it’s the first day of school and it’s a long day, don’t come into cheerleading practice acting like y’all can’t give it your all,” Whitney said, picking up right where I left off.

  I was stretching when Coach came over to me and said, “I’d like to talk to you about your e-mail.”

  Whitney yelled out, “There’s nothing to talk about. We all got it. Resignation accepted.”

  Coach sternly replied, “Whitney, lead the cheer, please.”

  Whitney cheered, “Everybody do this … and this … and this … everybody do this. Our first game is Friday. Let’s turn it up, girls.”

  I scratched my head. Gosh, Whitney was annoying. If I was anything like that, I wouldn’t be able to handle it either. When Coach Woods and I got to her office, she said, “So uh, what was the e-mail all about?”

  I really wanted to say, “Duh. What part of it didn’t you understand? Like, I spelled it all out on the computer. Did you comprehend the fact that I was such a witch that I needed to quit?” But all of that would’ve been jerk language. So not wanting to be disrespectful, I smiled.

  “Yeah, I understood what it said,” she said, picking up my body language. “I don’t know why you said it. Yeah, you were difficult, but you were difficult for the right reasons. You want us to win; you don’t wanna boss people around just because. You have high standards. Maybe you were a little bra
sh in your tactics, but sometimes some of these girls need to be pushed. You’re an excellent cheerleader, and you wanted to make sure everyone else exuded excellence. We need you. Look at the alternative, and I love Whitney to death. She’s a scholar, but she’s a snob. Everybody knows you had a hottie, and you were dissing him for this team. From what I hear, his ego got bruised, and he couldn’t take it. He couldn’t stand that he was second. He was second to cheerleading. Your commitment, your dedication, your accountability to this team was phenomenal.”

  Still not feeling good about my tough actions, I said, “I’m just not the right person, Coach.”

  “To lead anybody you must have that ‘it factor’ … that support from them … that willingness to follow your lead.”

  “I had that when they elected me, and I got the big head somewhere along the way. I don’t know. I was humbled quickly. I messed up.”

  “Which means you learned from it. Don’t walk away from all of that.”

  “Yeah, don’t walk away, because if Whitney stays up there and continues to be the lead, I might have to yank some of her poor weave out and then quit,” Eva said, surprising me. Coach gave her that Watch your mouth! glare. “Sorry, Coach.”

  I was shocked to see her standing there. She wasn’t alone. Ella, Hallie, and Randal were with her.

  Coach smiled, walked to her door, and said, “Y’all talk some sense into this girl.”

  Dropping my head, I said, “Why do y’all care?”

  Rubbing my shoulder, Ella said, “Your email said it all.”

  “See … we took this test,” Hallie blurted out.

  “Huh?” I was real confused, and Randal was tugging on her to hush.

  Hallie continued, “It will just take a sec. I’m going tell her. There is a test in the book, The Five Love Languages of Friendship, and we found out that you’re a task person. You can’t help but to be on people about doing things because that’s just who you are.”

  “I’m confused,” I said, knowing I was at a disadvantage for not reading the book with them.

  “Like Hallie said, it’s this book called, The Five Love Languages of Friendship. It has one test for marriages, one for jobs, one for the kids, and then there’s one for friendship,” Randal said. “It basically says that you have to understand how people show their love, and you can’t love on them in your love language, but you gotta love on them in theirs. And they have five basic languages that we all fall into.”

  “We probably have all five in us. When you find out what your predominate love language is, your friends need to know so they can show you love in the way you need it, not in the way they want to give it. You can’t push the way you feel loved onto others and expect them to respond,” Eva said. “But you also have to know theirs so you don’t become selfish. If you know how they need love, then you can give them just what they need. For example, my love language is treasure.”

  “Yeah, we know that,” Hallie said. “We can’t just come to your birthday party and bring just any old thing. It’s gotta be thought out.”

  “Yeah, that’s right. Y’all know it and it’s coming up,” Ella said. “And mine is touch.” She kept rubbing my shoulder.

  “Mine is talk,” Hallie said. “You gotta tell me I’m doing okay. You gotta tell me you care. You know I wanna hear it. So when you say I’m doing bad, it really, really affects me.”

  Randal said, “And mine is time. Just all five of us being together means so much to me. And, Charli, you were task.”

  “Okay, I’m task. What does that have to do with you guys coming in here saying I need to stay captain? I am still confused. I was horrible, and I deserve for you all to never ever be my friends again,” I confessed honestly.

  “You’re right. You do deserve that,” Eva said, keeping it real. “But I think it was you who said we all need grace from time to time. It just wasn’t the same first day of school without our girl with us.”

  Ella took my hand and said, “You know the word is out that somebody got a cool kiss today.”

  Randal chimed in and said, “Because we were not with you, we missed it. It just wasn’t right.”

  “And because you’re task,” Hallie said. “We learned it’s a part of your nature for things to get done. You wanted us to be on time, and you wanted us to know the cheers. You wanted us to do all the moves right because you love us. You care, and you went a little overboard, but you didn’t want us to sink. Whitney is being a brat. She wants power and control. We know now that was not your issue. We feel like if we stay on you and make sure you stay in line then we can help you be balanced.”

  “Yeah,” Randal said, “but still be a task manager and get things done. There’s nothing wrong with time management.”

  “You guys forgive me?” I sniffed.

  “Do you forgive us?” Eva stepped over to me and asked. “I told them we needed to just drop you. Instead of getting so mad, all we should’ve done was come and talk to you until you listened, not cut you off like that. That was wrong. That’s not what best friends do. That’s not what we do to each other. The five of us are more than friends. We are sisters. We gotta make sure that’s never broken.”

  “So you captain or what?” one of the senior cheerleaders said from the door.

  “If you guys want me,” I said, still overwhelmed by their gestures.

  “Well, Whitney’s out there running her mouth, and I’m speaking for the all seniors out there. We want you.”

  I didn’t deserve a second chance, but the fact that I was getting it made me all mushy inside, like mashed potatoes. Getting a group hug from the girls, I knew I wouldn’t change anything. Yeah, I was out of control, but I really learned to appreciate others. When I was on the outs, I learned so much about me and how to treat people. Now, things were looking up. My mom and I were bonding. My girls were back in my corner. I had gotten an unexpected kiss that felt great. And because of what I went through, I had learned to be a better me. It wasn’t totally bad that I was sometimes down.

  CHAPTER 7

  Forever Cool

  No, Charli’s not going to be the captain again!” Whitney screamed when she found out the squad’s decision to not accept my resignation.

  I did not know Whitney that well, but I did know being captain meant a lot to her. It was hard being in that seat. Though some of her tactics were annoying, I could use her help. And instead of alienating her for good, I needed to figure a way to get her on my team.

  Seeing Whitney’s disappointment and wanting to fix it, I said, “Coach Woods, I nominate Whitney Alexander as co-captain.”

  Eva was standing right next to me. Guess she felt if Whitney wanted to brawl, she had my back. At least she was with me until I made that statement. Then Eva hit me in my gut. Others grunted and made derogatory remarks.

  However, I stood firm, meaning what I said, even though I knew it was not what Whitney wanted—she did want to be captain over us all, after all. This was some consolation. She may not be the first one in charge, but she’d have some power if she joined me. Shoot, last time I heard, something was better than nothing any day. Her eyes started sparkling. The frown she had on her face turned to a smile.

  She came over and stood beside me and said, “Really? Are you serious about this recommendation?”

  “Yes, I mean if you are okay with working with me. I know your pep and professionalism can take us a long way. Whitney, let me be clear. All I want to do is win. There are twenty of us on this squad. Why can’t two of us lead it?” I asked. “If you are willing, we can be stronger.”

  Whitney’s attitude softened. She realized I was not blowing smoke to cloudy up the air and confuse her. I was being true.

  “Girls, how do y’all feel about this?” Coach Woods stepped in and officiated.

  “Well, as long as Charli’s captain and Whitney is co-captain, I’m fine with it,” Eva said, giving me the eye.

  Hunter, the sophomore, said, “If Charli says this is what she wants, we should suppo
rt her. She does have our best interests at heart. Next to Charli, Whitney is the second best.”

  Whitney said, “Thanks, Hunter. I think.”

  Coach Woods looked at Whitney. Whitney nodded, accepting the position of second in charge. We voted and practice was over. Before I could get out of the door with my girls, happy to head out and just hang out with them for a minute, Whitney stopped me at the door.

  Somewhat emotional, she said, “Charli, thanks. Nobody’s ever stepped up for me until today, and it meant a lot. I want you to know working with you will be a joy. Here’s my cell number.”

  She and I talked for a few minutes. It was neat that she admitted she was brash too. We agreed to keep each other in check. My lesson there was, if you find out what people who give you grief are needing, and help them fix their issue, your life can be fixed too.

  At the restaurant later, I had a big smile plastered on my face. My sisters, and that sounds so good to say, wanted to pay for me. The pancakes from IHOP never tasted so good. The company was not bad either. Seeing the four of them laugh at stuff—because I had been out of the loop for a minute, some of the humor went over my head—just made me sit back and appreciate the fact that I was so glad we still had each other. I was thankful that what we felt for each other was able to bring us back together. I was really blessed that our love was true.

  “Did you guys see Leo from gym last year?” Ella said, as she cut into her french toast.

  “Yeah, we’ve got English together,” Hallie said, like it was not that big of a deal.

  Ella said, “He’s huge!”

  “A lot of the football players are,” I said, thinking about Blake. “Coach Strong has them on a strict regimen so they can pass the eyeball test.”

  “The what?” Randal asked. She frowned like the concept sounded ridiculous.

  I was no expert, so I said, “I’m just remembering stuff Blake said. The eyeball test is when scouts from the colleges come over and look at players. They are looking for a certain athletic build. If you don’t have the right height, weight, and physique, then you might be a good player but you’re not D1 college material. A lot of the guys at our school are trying to go to the SEC and ACC.”