Presidential Shadows

by Michael Cantwell

The holiday season was a time I enjoyed. Watching football games on Thanksgiving Day with Dad and Grandpa was always fun. Now that I was thirteen, Dad let me sip his “special” eggnog. One sip was plenty. “The look on your face was priceless,” Grandpa said. I didn’t know what was so “priceless” about it.

  The phone rang. A few moments later, we heard a big scream from Mom in the kitchen. At first, I thought she had a television on in the kitchen and was watching Barry Sanders run all over the football field. My brother Steve was on the phone asking if he could come home for Christmas. I heard Mom tell Dad during dinner what Steve Jr. really wanted was the money for a plane ticket to come home for Christmas.

  “He’s a college graduate,” Dad said. It’s time for him to find a steady job and pay his own bills.”

  “Steven, how often do you think he will be home for Christmas after this year?” Mom asked.

  Grandpa laughed, “Every time he needs a few bucks.”

  “Enough, Frank,” Mom said. “Steven, let’s pay to bring him home one last time. He said he has a big surprise for us.

  “Four and half years of dirty laundry?” Grandpa said. Even I laughed at that one.

  Despite wanting to see my brother, I decided to pile on. “Hey, Mom, President James Madison once said, ‘the circulation of confidence is better than the circulation of money.’ I’m on Dad’s side.”

  “Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge,” Mom said. “I’ll remember your wisdom while I am out shopping tomorrow.”

  Stupid James Madison, I thought. See if I would use any of his quotes again.

  “Speaking of presidents, Alex,” Grandma said. “We haven’t seen you since your trip to Gettysburg. Did you enjoy it?”

  “Oh yeah. We saw some canons and some cool old buildings. We stopped at McDonalds on the way home. I had a chocolate shake. Greg stuck a French fry up his nose and tried to scare the girls. He had to sit with his mom in the front of the bus the rest of the way home.”

  Grandma shook her head. “You drive three hours to see a historic battlefield and the only thing you remember is a boy sticking fries up his nose?”

  I smirked. “No, Grandma. I told you, I saw some cannons too. Oh, and I read the Gettysburg Address in the museum. A couple weeks ago in school, we had to memorize the whole speech for history class. We got extra credit if we stood in front of the class and said it aloud without peeking at our paper. I did it and got extra credit. I got more credit because Mr. Weadon said he thought I said it exactly the way he thinks President Lincoln woulda said it. I told Mr. Weadon, it was close, but I didn’t almost cry where President Lincoln did.”

  I winked at Grandpa. He winked back.

  The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas moved by fast. I went to the mall shopping one day with Bruce and Wendy. It was hard trying to buy several gifts with only twenty dollars. I had two small bags in my hand while we waited near the entrance of the mall for Mom to pick us up.

  “I hope you bought me something very special, Alex,” Wendy said. “It will be even more special if it’s pink.”

  I looked at Bruce. He shrugged. I went over to the gumball machine. It took four tries but I finally got a pink one. I stuffed one in my mouth, gave one to Bruce, stuffed one in my pocket and handed the pink one to Wendy.

  “Merry Christmas.”

  I guess I over did it when she refused to talk all the way home except to Mom. I think I even saw a tiny tear sit in the corner of her eye. I ended up buying her a pink pen with a picture of one of the girls from Full House on it. Does it matter which one?

  My brother Steve came home two days before Christmas. Dad picked him up at the airport. Dad was not one who enjoyed surprises. This was a big one. Grandma and Grandpa were over for dinner. Grandmother Marie had come for the Christmas holidays as well. She arrived on the train earlier in the day. There would be even one more joining us for dinner. Her name was Stargazer. Yes, Stargazer. As they got out of the car, my brother introduced her as his soul mate and the only person who made him.”

  Steve rubbed my head, right after walking through the front door, as if I were still his personal puppy. He handed me a guitar pick. I had never touched a guitar. I had no idea why I would need a pick.

  “This is an authentic replica of a Jerry Garcia pick, squirt. It’s a collector’s edition. They only made one million of these. Keep it in a safe place.”

  After a few hugs and the shock of Steve coming home with a leftover hippie from the 1960’s, we sat down for dinner. Sister Moonbeam sat next to me. She wanted to feel my aura. Her frayed denim skirt and thin white shirt opened one or two buttons too low was hard to miss, even for a thirteen year old. She had more hair on her legs than I did. I was worried if she had hippie cooties, they might jump on me.

  “Aren’t you cold?” I asked the longhaired visitor. “It’s supposed to snow tonight and you look like you’re dressed for the beach.”

  “Mother Nature nurtures me in her bosom. She is all I need to stay warm.”

  Mom and both grandmothers stared at our guest before talking about baking cookies and going food shopping in the morning. Dad changed the topic.

  “So, Steve, have you found a steady job yet? The last time we spoke, you were going for an interview for a management trainee position with a retail store in your area. How’d the interview go?”

  “Ah, Dad, man, you wouldn’t believe how inflexible these companies are. I mean they weren’t willing to try and work around my travel schedule at all. It was a real bummer.”

  “Your travel schedule?” Dad asked. “They wouldn’t give you a couple days to come home for Christmas?”

  “Christmas was ok. The job didn’t start until the first week of January. It was the time I needed for my spring break.”

  “Your spring break?” Mom asked. “Honey, you’re not in college any longer. You don’t get spring breaks. You earn vacation time.”

  My annoyed looking brother lowered his fork from his mouth. His hairy soul mate rubbed his leg.

  “Mom, not you too? Star and I are going to renew our vows by following the Grateful Dead on their trip across country for the entire month of March. We were planning on crashing here for a week when they play in New York.”

  “Hahahahahahaha,” was all I heard from Grandpa.

  “I don’t think there will be any crashing here unless you are gainfully employed,” Dad said.

  “Say that again, please,” Mom said. “Did you say, renew your vows?”

  “Oh boy,” Grandmother Helen said.

  Both grandmothers were staring at Steve. Mom and Dad each had their arms crossed. I knew that look. It was never good.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Schuler, Stevie and I had an intimate ceremony with our closest friends on Thanksgiving morning. Stevie and I woke up staring at each other. We shared a moment in time we can never recapture. We both knew instantly. What better day then Thanksgiving to give thanks to each other and the universe? We lit some incense sticks, woke up Phil number two, called some friends and became one with Mother Nature.”

  Grandpa burst out laughing again. Dad had a blank stare I had never seen before. Mom picked up her fork. I thought she was going to lunge at Miss Weirdo but she took another bite of her noodles.

  “Let me get this straight,” Dad said. “The two of you aren’t really married? You lit a candle and declared yourselves one with nature. Did I get that correct?”

  “What do you mean, Dad? Phil number two is the spiritual leader in our neighborhood. Not only is he a minister in the Church of Mother Nature’s Apostles, he plays a mean bass in a Grateful Dead tribute band. He’s one righteous dude. If he joins you as one with the universe, it’s for real.”

  Grandpa laughed even louder this time. I chuckled. I wondered what happened to my big strong football player brother after he moved to San Francisco.

  Mom screamed out, “Are you married or not?”

  My brother was about to speak when his girlfriend or wife or Starwatcher, whoever she was, s
topped him. “Mrs. Schuler, might I call you mom?”

  Grandpa laughed again. “Oh please do. Your new mother always wanted a daughter.”

  “You really aren’t helping, Pops,” Dad said.

  Stargazer continued. “As I was saying, the state of California has no control over who we love. Stevie and I don’t need the state’s permission to be one with the universe. The eyes of the almighty universe joined us as one. Can’t you be happy for us?”

  “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are joined by the universe and not the state of California,” Mom said.

  “We have laws for a reason, son,” Dad said. “The state of California has a constitution, as does the Federal Government. I hope that one day once you have a job, you will understand the commitment it takes to be married. It might be nice to invite your family next time too.”

  “Dad when did you and Mom get so old?” Stevie asked.

  My parents looked at each other and sighed. Grandma and Grandpa laughed. My brother and Stargazer looked confused.

  We finished dinner after everyone agreed the holidays were for family time and not for arguing. We sat in the living room. My brother and the hairy hippie were trying to convince Dad following the Grateful Dead in the spring was more important than my brother finding a good job. Dad was not convinced. Then a Christmas miracle happened.

  “Steven, I think Steve Jr. has a point,” Grandpa said with a sad tone. “You’re only young once. I wish your mother and I had time to do some of the things we wanted to do before you were born. Now, my back barks at me every morning. My wife is as beautiful as ever but she can’t walk so well. We would love to tour Europe but our bodies have broken down. Let them enjoy life before it’s too late.” He smiled at my brother.

  Grandpa lowered his head and looked in his lap. Grandma Marie, who was sitting next to him, took his hand in hers and rested her head on Grandpa’s shoulder. Dad shook his head in disgust. Mom smiled.

  “We don’t agree on much, Frank,” Mom said. “Maybe I had too much homemade eggnog, but every once in a while you can be pretty smart.”

  The conversation continued until I excused myself to my room. My brother would be sleeping in my room on the cot we pulled up from the basement. I wanted a little private time before he invaded my domain.

  The dinner talk made me curious about the Constitution. Mr. Weadon taught us that James Madison was the “Father of the Constitution.” My special book read otherwise. James Madison wrote that he never liked that title. He wrote in my book that the Constitution was, “The work of many heads and many hands.”

  Mr. Madison was helpful in making sure the Constitution became the law of the land. Madison along with Alexander Hamilton and John Jay wrote a bunch of stories called, “The Federalist Papers.” Those stories were all about why the states needed to ratify the Constitution and other lessons. Only a few people knew for sure who wrote those stories until after Mr. Madison died.

  James Madison must have been a good writer. Not only did he help write the Constitution and the Federalist Papers, he introduced the first ten amendments to the Constitution called the “Bill of Rights.” Some citizens were worried the government would have too much power. The Bill of Rights were a list ten rights most important to citizens.

  I later learned about them in school. It was then I understood why Grandpa owned a gun. It was a right permitted in the Bill of Rights. I also learned why the reporter in the newspaper could write bad things about the Yankees or a president. The reporter could write bad stuff about Reggie Jackson and as long as it wasn’t a lie. He was protected to write it. They call it freedom of speech and freedom of the press.

  Thomas Jefferson and Lyndon Johnson didn’t like reporters. I don’t know if President Jefferson voted for the freedom of the press right or not. President Johnson looked at me as if I had one eye when I asked him if he liked freedom of the press.

  Weeks later, Mr. Weadon gave us a test on all ten. I got a perfect score. It helped me after reading President Madison’s notes that night. Madison wrote in big letters how important it was to pass the first ten amendments.

  As I continued to read, I noticed someone in the chair by the desk. He was a white haired man with a black suit, white bow tie, dark eyes and a long pointed nose. The man introduced himself to me as the fourth President of the United States, James Madison. I knew from my reading that James also worked as Secretary of State with President Jefferson. James Madison along with James Monroe and President Jefferson negotiated the Louisiana Purchase from France. Grandpa told me why some people from Louisiana have a funny accent. Their ancestors were French and they eat too much alligator.

  “I see your house is full of visitors,” James said. “I know the feeling. I was the oldest of twelve children. Sad tale, but three of my siblings died as infants and two others died of dysentery. Each death led to more despair for my parents.”

  “Nice to meet you, Mr. Madison. Sorry to hear about your family. Yeah, my brother came home from San Francisco and brought his girlfriend with him. Grandmother Helen came all the way from Baltimore but Grandma and Grandpa come to dinner all the time. I like it when they come to visit.”

  Madison scratched the back of his neck and looked confused. “I’ve not heard of San Francisco.”

  “Don’t worry about it. After seeing what it did to my brother and his hairy girlfriend, I don’t think either of us would want to visit.”

  James looked even more confused. He got up from my chair and walked across the room to my window. He walked back to my desk. “I’ll take your word for it, Alex. Samuel Wilson told me that you had needed to learn about our Constitution. I agree.”

  I got up to check my door. I heard voices. I knew Mom and Dad never saw or heard the presidents. I was worried about Stargazer. She told me she could see into my soul. Who knew what else she could see? I peeked both ways down the hallway. All clear.

  “Sorry, Mr. Madison. I didn’t want my brother’s girlfriend snooping around. She freaks me out.”

  I sat on the corner of my bed. I could hear the central heating turn on in the room. There was a chill. I continued. “I’m kinda curious why people didn’t want the Constitution to pass?”

  James sat back in the chair. He rubbed his nose. “I could sit here for days and not completely cover that topic. Suffice to say that two factions arose. The Anti-Federalists and the Federalists. Some of the Anti-Federalists where people who were afraid a stronger centralized government would take power away from the states, while others were afraid of losing personal liberty. The Federalists wanted a strong government because for one thing, we needed money to pay our bills. The Federal Government could borrow money but had no way to pay it back. This was a problem. We also needed a way to defend our new nation and continue to raise a fighting force.”

  “So it was all about money and being able to fight wars?”

  James frowned. “Money and defense were part of it, yes. It was so much more, Alex. There was a time I favored Mr. Washington in forming a strong central government. I was with Alexander Hamilton in wanting a strong banking system. As I have grown older, I now see the wisdom in Thomas Jefferson’s beliefs. Thomas has become a mentor of mine. I am still in favor of our Constitution. However, it is imperative our states remain strong. I never want a strong centralized government to be more powerful than the states. One thing we all agreed upon, no one wants the presidency to become a monarchy. Especially Mr. Washington.”

  I could hear someone walking down the hallway. I got up to check. It was Stargazer.

  She tried to stick her head inside my room. “Is this where you crash at night, little dude?”

  “Crash?”

  Why was she calling me little? In her bare feet, she was practically my height.

  “Yeah. Crash. You know the place where you find your inner peace.”

  She leaned up against my door. My foot was on the other side, holding it firm. She was trying to see inside my room. I turned around for a second. James
Madison was still there.

  “Come on, little dude. Let me see your room. Stevie tells me you own a bitchin baseball card collection. I’m a big San Fran Giants fan. Will Clark, the Giants slugger, sat near me in a theatre last summer. He let me shake his hand and feel his energy after the movie. I felt his vibe in me until the next day. Whoa, still gives me a chill thinking about it.”

  I loved showing off my card collection but Mr. Madison was tapping his foot on the floor. He frowned at me.

  “Uhm, maybe tomorrow, Stargazer. I’m kinda tired.”

  “Oh come on. Give me ten seconds to visualize your nirvana.” She shoved her way into my room.

  “I don’t know what a nirvana is, but you can have ten seconds, then you’re gone,” I said.

  “Chill, little dude. Nirvana is your personal place of joy and stability. I won’t touch nothing.”

  I looked at her, then James. He was still tapping his foot on the wood floor. My book was wide open on the bed. I threw a pillow over it and sat on the bed. I started counting to ten.

  “Phew. Little dude. Do you feel it? There is a powerful force in this room. My head is rocking the same way it does when I hear Jimi Hendrix jamming. No. It’s like a sense of déjà vu here. I can’t figure it out but there is something amazing about this room.”

  I smiled. I wanted to tell her but she would only laugh at me, or tell Mom I needed to go see the looney doctor. Mr. Madison and I both watched as Stargazer danced around my room, waving her arms up and down, then in circles. Her long brown hair spun around her head. Her soft white shirt clung to her thin shape. Her obvious delight excited me. Moments earlier, I didn’t know I even had a nirvana and now she was sharing it with me.

  Staring directly at James Madison, then back at me, Stargazer said, “Thank you, little dude. I needed to recharge my mood. This room mended my being. The spirits and positive energy surrounding us are far out.”

  I wanted to say something, anything, but I was too nervous to share my secret. She kissed my cheek and left the room. I sat there relieved that maybe someone other than me could actually see or feel the presence of others in my room. Grandpa said he did, but not like Stargazer. Grandpa never danced or told me he could feel anything. A chill ran down my spine. My body warmed. The moment evaporated into the chilled air as quickly as Stargazer did.

  “Excuse me, my time does have value,” James said. “Do you have any other questions for me? My home and plantation are in need of assistance.”

  “Sorry, Mr. President. I’m going to hit the sack soon, but I’m still confused why people didn’t want laws.”

  “In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men you must first enable government to control the governed; and in the next place to oblige it to control itself. If men were angels no government would be necessary.”

  I jumped into bed and pulled up the covers. My head was pounding. It had been a long day. I was in no mood for more riddles from old presidents.

  “I wish I knew what you meant, President Madison. I hope we can talk more another time.”

  “Ordinary citizens were afraid once a centralized form of government was established that people in power would take advantage of those citizens. All men having power should be distrusted to some degree.”

  “People were afraid of the government before it was even established?” I asked.

  “Yes. The class of citizens, who provide at once their own food and their own raiment, may be viewed as the most truly independent and happy. We needed to assure our citizens would maintain their own self-reliance, yet bond the union. When we met at our convention to draft the Constitution, Thomas Jefferson called it an assembly of demigods.”

  “We argue when we pick teams for gym class. I’m sure writing the laws for everyone to agree with would be hard. I guess it’s why all you Presidents have white or gray hair.”

  President Madison stood up. “We fought for months over every detail, Alex. It was worth it. I pray the United States Constitution will be the law of the land for many generations. I must go now.”

  “Good night, President Madison. One last thing before you go. My grandpa thinks the government has gotten too big. I hear him complain about it all the time with Dad. President Jefferson thinks I’m supposed to fix it. How can anyone fix it?”

  President Madison pointed to my bookshelf. “Knowledge will forever govern ignorance. The people are the only legitimate fountain of power. Never allow the people or the government to forget under our Constitution, the people are the power under which government derives its power.”

  My bedroom door flung open. My brother and Stargazer walked into my room. President Madison vanished.

  Stargazer twirled around the room. “Don’t you feel it, Stevie? There is an energy in this room. Close your eyes. Whoa. Purple Haze is buzzing my brain.”

  “You’re crazy, Star. This is my kid brother’s room. I think maybe you’re whacked from all the traveling today.”

  “No, Stevie, this room is magical. I can feel it.”

  ~~~*~~~

  Chapter Sixteen