Presidential Shadows

by Michael Cantwell

A light snow dusted the ground below a soft gray sky on Christmas Eve morning. I inched my way to the kitchen for breakfast. There I found a note letting me know that Mom and Grandmother Helen went food shopping. Dad was working half day. I downed a bowl of Fruit Loops and a slice of toast before finding Rugrats on the television.

  Stargazer entered through the front door wearing only a pair of well-worn Levis and a black and white ‘Chrissy Hynde Rocks’ t-shirt. Not only was she not wearing a jacket, she had no shoes. Who doesn’t wear shoes in the snow?

  “Little dude, don’t you love it when it snows?” she quipped, showing a large grin. “Mother earth is cleansing the ground. She made snow the color white, as a symbol the earth will be reborn in the spring. Snow melts away the impurities left from the previous year. I can’t explain how sitting in the snow makes me feel.”

  “Cold?” I asked.

  She giggled. “I told you. Mother earth engulfs me with her warmth. Now, tell me, little dude, what goes on in that room of yours?”

  I turned my attention back to Chuckie from Rugrats. No way was I spilling the beans about my visitors. Grandpa and I did a pinky swear the presidents would be our secret ever since Mom threatened to send me to the special doctor.

  Stargazer sat next to me on the sofa. I squirmed away far enough so our legs wouldn’t touch.

  “There was an energy in your room last night that hasn’t hit me since the first time I heard Led Zeppelin II. Talk about a rush. You know exactly what I mean, little dude. Spill your guts.”

  I did my best not to look in Stargazer’s direction. I felt her stare swallowing me. I turned to look at her. She had one eyebrow raised. I could no longer hold back my frustration.

  “My name is Alex. Alex. It is not little dude, big dude, big dipper or anything else.”

  I could hear the wood floor creak over our heads. It was my brother walking down the hallway towards the upstairs bathroom. Stargazer looked above and smirked. It lightened the mood.

  “I apologize, little dude, err, Alex. Please don’t take offense.”

  “Ok,” I said. “I don’t want to talk about the spirits in my room. I made a pinky swear I wouldn’t tell my secrets.”

  Stargazer inched closer. I could smell a hint of perfume. “When I was a little girl, my parents would take me and my sister camping. That’s where I get my love of nature. One time our family was hiking in Yosemite. I was about your age. I don’t know exactly how it happened but I was separated from my parents and sis on a hiking trail. I was beyond scared. I screamed for help. Nothing. Eventually, it became dark and cold. Then it happened.”

  I sat straight up. My interest peaked. “What happened?”

  “I looked up at the stars and asked nature to guide me back to the camp grounds. For several nights before I was lost, I would gaze at this one particular star. I swore it smiled back at me. It was perched in the night sky right over our camp. I used that star to find my way back to safety. Ever since that day, I have been Stargazer with a deep understanding that the universe watches over me.”

  “Is that a true story?”

  Stargazed smiled, “Would I lie to you?”

  My brother came barreling down the stairs. “Who’s lying to who, about what? Hey, squirt, after I chow down on a few waffles, how about you and me toss the football around?”

  “His name is Alex, and no one is lying to anyone, just swapping stories about the spirit world. Isn’t that right, Alex?” Star said.

  I nodded as my brother scratched his butt over the top of his boxers before disappearing into the kitchen. Star kissed my cheek and bopped upstairs.

  I went to my bedroom to make sure my brother hadn’t messed up my stuff. He didn’t. He didn’t make his bed either. I guess he’d forgotten the rules in our house after being away so long. I knew Dad would be home soon and we would be going out to get our tree. It was tradition we never put up a tree before Christmas Eve. It came down on New Year’s Day. Dad never wavered from tradition. I turned on some music and opened my book.

  I flipped the pages until I stumbled across John Tyler. Tyler was Vice President for William Henry Harrison. Mr. Harrison was the first President to die in office. Some people had different ideas on how much power John Tyler should assume after Harrison died. The Constitution, some argued, was not clear if Mr. Tyler should be president with all the powers or vice president acting like a president. Mr. Tyler told the members of Mr. Harrison’s cabinet that he was not a good actor. He was the president. He took the oath to be the president right after President Harrison died.

  I remembered from history class eventually the twenty-fifth amendment became part of the Constitution. That amendment made sure everyone knew that if a president died in office, the vice president would assume all the responsibilities as president.

  John Tyler was born in Virginia. He became the tenth President of the United States. I noticed how many of the early presidents were from Virginia. When John Tyler was a member of the House of Representatives, he disagreed with others who believed the Federal Government should be responsible for building ports and roads. Mr. Tyler wanted the Federal Government to remain small. He agreed with President Jefferson’s idea that the states should build the roads, bridges, ports, not a large centralized government.

  My brother barged into my room. “Come on, squirt. Put your sweatshirt on and come outside. We haven’t tossed a football in years.”

  I stared at my unshaven brother in his boxers and gray tee shirt. I noticed he had lost some of his muscles since he was no longer playing football.

  “I’m reading something, Steve. Can we do it later?”

  Steve brushed past my bed to his unmade cot. He put on his jeans and sneakers. He dug a sweatshirt out from the bottom of his overstuffed suitcase and slipped it on. “No, it can’t wait. The note in the kitchen said Dad was coming home right after lunch to get the tree. After that, you know everyone will be over to decorate it. Then we have dinner and church. Get your ass out of bed and put that book down. Look at me, I hardly ever read and I turned out great.”

  The comment about ‘turning out great’ sat in the stale air. I threw on a sweatshirt and we headed outside. Star joined us. I had to admit it was nice hanging out with my older brother. He was always so much bigger and stronger than I was before he left for college. Steve was always big for his age and I was small for mine. To me, Steve was the big kid who lived in the room next to me more than he was my older brother.

  He could still throw the football harder than I could, but I had improved since the last time we played catch. Grandpa and Dad had been throwing with me since Steve moved away. I was now getting approvals for my tosses from my big brother. I looked at Star sitting on the porch step. She was making tiny snow angels with her bare feet on the walkway. I told her about President Harrison and dying from being cold. She laughed.

  “You know a lot about history,” Star said. “Is that your favorite subject in school?”

  “Yeah,” Steve said as he tossed the football towards me. “I saw that giant book you were reading. It looked old. What was it?”

  “Grandpa gave it to me. You keep your grubby hands off my book. It has magic.” I grasped to catch the words as they dribbled from my lips. It was too late.

  “Magic my ass,” Steve said. “No book is magical. You’ve been around Mom and her notion that you have to read nine gazillion books a year or you can’t succeed in the world. Like I told ya earlier, I didn’t read much when I was your age and look at me now.”

  I smirked, “Yeah, look at you now.”

  Mom and Grandmother Helen pulled up in the driveway. The trunk was stuffed with food and other goodies. Steve and I emptied the trunk. Mom asked Steve and Star to stay inside and sit with her for a while. That was after Mom made mention that Star should put on some shoes. Mom asked me to keep me busy but not leave the yard.

  “Your father will be home soon and we’ll be going to get the tree,” Mom said.

  I sat on the front porch in on
e of the two white plastic chairs facing the street. I closed my eyes and put my legs on the railing. Star was right. I could feel the chilled air cleansing my lungs. I took another deep breath.

  “Beautiful afternoon is it not, young man?”

  I opened my eyes. In the other chair sat a thin man with cheeks the opposite of Santa Claus. His long nose seemed to cover much of his face. His short hair was mostly gray. His overcoat looked two sizes too big for his body.

  “It’s Christmas Eve, how could it not be a good day?” I asked.

  The man smiled. “John Tyler at your service, Alex. And a Merry Christmas to you.”

  “Thanks. Merry Christmas to you too, President Tyler.”

  “I don’t have a long time with you, Alex. Sam Wilson asked me to drop in on you and see if you had any questions for me. Do You?”

  I watched as Mrs. Horne was sweeping the snow from her top step across the street before replying. “Maybe one or two. In the pages of my book, you wrote something about manifest destiny. What is that?”

  President Tyler hunched in his chair. “I believe that we as citizens are destined to move west and around the continent. We should promote our values and institutions across the vast landscape. Not all agree. Hell, most of my own party members, the Whigs think I’m wrong headed.”

  “Why wouldn’t people want to find more land to live on, President Tyler?”

  “Some of the earlier supporters like John Quincy Adams have backed off because they believe it will expand slavery in the country. Slavery is dividing our nation.”

  “Yeah, many of the Presidents I met told me all about it. Did you own slaves?”

  Tyler sat straight up. He looked at Mrs. Horne sweeping the bottom step of her porch. “I do. I never strike them. They are well fed, well cared for.”

  It was still hard for me to believe that our Presidents owned other people and placed some in chains. President Tyler looked like a fine man. I wanted to believe he wanted what was best for everyone. Well, maybe not everyone.

  “Does feeding them and not hitting them make it ok to own them?” I asked President Tyler.

  “No.”

  Dad pulled up behind Mom’s car. President Tyler was gone. Dad stopped on the porch for a quick hello before heading inside. He must have been in a good mood. He was wearing an oversized Santa cap and larger smile.

  Mrs. Horne went back inside. Had she tried to sweep her pavement, I would have done it for her. I think she only wanted to be safe going down the steps to get the newspaper. I put my feet back up on the railing and again closed my eyes. I inhaled a deep portion of cold air.

  I heard the front door open. I kept my eyes closed. I took another sniff of air through my nose. I recognized the same smell I’d gotten a whiff of earlier. Star’s perfume.

  “President James Garfield was my great-great grandfather. Something like that, I dunno. I only know my dad tells me we were related,” Star said. “I don’t know much about him other than, like our family, he was from Ohio. He was only president for two hundred days.”

  I opened my eyes and looked at Star. She was in the chair next to me. “What happened to him?”

  She lowered her shoulders. “He was shot in a train station on the way to give a speech. One bullet grazed his arm. Another one hit him in the belly. They never found the bullet in his belly. Alexander Graham Bell made a special machine trying to find it. They didn’t have all the technology we have today. He was recuperating at the Jersey shore when he died. Sad. I hate guns.”

  I put my feet back on the porch floor. Star wore a muted smile. She also was wearing boots on her feet and a hooded sweatshirt with the word Berkley across her chest. I breathed in the faint smell of her perfume and listened to the soft sound of the wind racing across the front lawn.

  “Books are magical, Alex”. Don’t let your brother or anyone else tell you otherwise. Reading takes you to places most of us will never see. Stories can create worlds you would never know. When I was younger, I would read and read and read. I would sit alone and read for hours. I love your brother, but sometimes men can be pretty dumb and say stupid things.”

  I laughed. “My friend Wendy tells me all the time how dumb boys are. Did you read that in a book only made for girls or something?”

  Snow flurries gently hit the ground. “We don’t have to read about it, Alex. I think we’re born knowing how silly you guys can be.”

  We both chuckled.

  “What’s your real name, Stargazer?”

  She turned her chair closer to face me. She reached out and took my hand in both of hers. “I’ll tell you, if you tell me one of your secrets.”

  “I don’t have any secrets. Does Steve know your real name?”

  “My legal name is Stargazer Venus Lumen. I changed it when I reached eighteen and headed to college. Your brother has called me his brightest star since the day after we met. Now and again, I call him Durus in private, but Stevie most other times.”

  I laughed from my belly. “Durus? Why Durus? That is so funny.”

  “I met your brother at a frat party the first semester we were in college. He was with some of his football pals being all drunk and stupid. He asked me my name. When I told him, he said it was a dumb name. What a jerk, I thought. He pissed me off. So, I called him and all his football goons, Durus. Durus is Latin for evil. I wanted him to understand how he made me feel. Now, whenever he does something cruel, I call him Durus.”

  “That’s really funny. I think I’ll call him that too.”

  “No. Please don’t, Alex. It would upset him to know I told you. Anyway, the next day when your goofy brother saw me in the cafeteria, he apologized. It was obvious he felt bad for the way he acted the night before. We’ve been together ever since that day.”

  “I’ll keep it our secret,” I said.

  Star squeezed my hand. “Your mother was just grilling us about our relationship. I guess Stevie mentioned me to her and your dad in the past but never told them we’re committed to each other forever. I’m more than a little hurt and ticked off he didn’t tell them I was coming for the holidays. I thought they knew. Stevie has spent the last two Christmas and New Years with my family. I guess bringing me here was your brother’s way of telling your family about our love for each other. I came out on the porch before I called him Durus in front of your parents for not telling everyone sooner.”

  She released my hand. The flurries were coming down faster.

  “That’s my secret. What’s yours?” Star asked.

  “No way, Star. You didn’t tell me your real name. And my brother being a goofball is no secret, either.”

  “I did tell you my real name. I told you how I got it. I even told you how I met your brother and how he got his nickname. I told you lots of good stuff. Come on. Tell me about your book. I heard you say earlier it was magical.”

  I felt nervous. Scared. “Please, please, please don’t tell Grandpa Frank or my mom I if I tell you. Please. I can get in so much trouble.”

  She pulled me up from my chair and walked me down the steps. We caught snowflakes on our tongues. She fell to the ground giggling, rolling in the new snow. I wanted to tell someone my secrets. I wanted to be able to trust someone who might actually believe me. Grandpa said he did. I think sometimes he said so only to make me feel like there wasn’t something wrong with me. Would Star believe me? She was a crazy hippie, but she was a nice crazy hippie.

  I had to admit, Star was the happiest person I had ever met. My family wasn’t exactly thrilled to meet her, yet she smiled. I wasn’t happy when she arrived, but she was nice to me too. She told me some cool stuff, even though I had been as cold as the ice forming on the pavement to her.

  Star made a snowball and tossed it at me. I assumed hippies didn’t know how to make or throw snowballs. Her snowball stunk. Her toss was worse. She had a little bit of an excuse because this was the first snow of the year. It wasn’t the good stuff yet. I packed a good snowball and nailed her in the leg. She giggled.
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  I went and sat next to my new hippie friend in the snow. I could see my breath from the cold air. I always liked seeing my breath.

  “Sometimes when I read the book that Grandpa gave me, past presidents appear. Sometimes, I don’t even have to be reading my book, they follow me. Sometimes it creeps me out. Most times, it’s really awesome. There. That’s my biggest secret in my whole life. Mom told me that if I keep telling people I talk with presidents, I’m going to have to see a special doctor. This kid Greg, at school, he told me that those kind of doctors put wires on your head and fry your brains until you can’t think anymore. Greg can be a total jerk, but sometimes he knows stuff.”

  The snow fell harder. Star was right. The snow did wipe away all the old stuff. I felt a sudden relief. I told someone I barely knew about my friends no one else could see. I was waiting for her to laugh in my face. She smiled.

  “Big deal, you talk with creepy old men. I talk with Bob Marley,” Star said. “That’s a pretty cool secret though. I won’t tell your mom. I promise. I’ve never told your brother that I talk social justice with Bob Marley. Why would I tell him or your mother you talk with George Washington?”

  I was relieved. “I read some about George, but I haven’t meet him yet.”

  Star tried to smash snow in my face. I shoved her hand away and rolled in the snow. I got up and brushed myself off. Star stood up and kicked the snow off her boot tops. She walked over to me and leaned down. She whispered in my ear.

  “Ginger Garfield.” She patted me on the back and walked inside.

  ~~~*~~~

  Chapter Seventeen