Hold Me Now

by J. H. Croix

  “I need to be inside you,” I said flatly.

  She shimmied back on the bed as I swiftly rolled the condom down my length. Seconds later, I was resting in the cradle of her hips, and her legs were curling around me. I filled her in a swift surge.

  She let out a ragged breath. My speech was slurred as my forehead fell to hers. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

  She moaned in response, wiggling her hips slightly as I seated myself fully. I held still for a beat because I knew I didn’t have much time left before I came. My balls were drawing up tight, and I could feel the hot sizzle at the base of my spine. Resting on an elbow, I drew back and thrust inside her deeply. Reaching between us, I teased my fingers over her slippery and swollen clit. She was already clenching around me and sounded startled.

  “Oh! Oh, my god.”

  Then, she was shuddering with another cry, and I followed her over. My release whipped through me. My mind went blank as white-hot electricity vibrated through me. I fell to the side, rolling her with me.

  I'd known I wanted Paisley, and it would be good with us, but desire was fickle. Sometimes what you thought would be good wasn't good after all, but that wasn’t the case with Paisley. She was like her own magic elixir.

  She fell against me warm and soft, her skin damp. I lay there stunned, trying to absorb the implications of just how amazing that was. After a moment, I felt her eyes on me and dragged mine open. She looked as startled as I felt.

  She took a shuddery breath. “It wasn’t supposed to be that good,” she said bluntly.

  A tiny voice in the back of my mind tried to tell me I should disengage, and she should go upstairs. We should keep this contained, stuff this magic back into a bottle and cork it. But I didn't feel like listening to that voice right then.

  Paisley was soft, she was warm, and I didn't want her to leave. I slid my hand up and down her back. After a few minutes, she shifted, and I slipped out of her. I rolled away and walked into the bathroom to deal with the condom. I thought maybe she would have more sense than me and leave. But a moment later, after I’d washed my hands and splashed cold water on my face, I returned to the bedroom to find her still lying there, curled on her side.

  When I reached the bed again, I lifted the covers, and she blinked up at me. “You're getting cold,” I pointed out.

  I knew this because I could see the goose bumps on her skin. She shimmied and rolled under the covers with me. I fell asleep with her held close, not even letting myself think about how crazy and stupid this was.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Paisley

  The following morning, I stood under the hot water as it beat down on me. My body was still pinging with desire and the sated aftermath of yet another orgasm delivered by Russell’s nimble fingers. He left me relaxed and boneless in a way I had never been before. I should’ve been freaking out, but I couldn't even bring myself to do it.

  He’d already left the house, and this morning should’ve been awkward, but somehow, it wasn't. I knew we would argue again. I knew it would get weird, but I wanted to relax in this bubble for now. I'd woken to his warm hands teasing me awake. We’d fallen into slow, teasing kisses. He’d deftly rolled a condom on before sliding into me from behind. He slowly brought me to an orgasm that rolled in deep waves through me, sending shudders all the way to my toes.

  After that, he'd made pancakes, which were very good. He’d finally left to go help his mom with something. I knew the regret would come, but at this moment, my body felt as if I had been someone else's sensual feast, and I wanted to savor the feeling.

  I didn't have to work today, so I wondered what I should do with myself. After getting dressed with my skin still feeling hypersensitive, I was relieved when my phone rang, and Phoebe asked if I wanted to meet her for coffee. That was perfect. A little distraction would help.

  Once we were seated at a table at Firehouse Café, Phoebe looked over at me, commenting, “Well, you look like someone who had a very good night.”

  “Um, what?”

  Her lips twitched. “You don't need to tell me anything, but there's a vibe.”

  “Oh, my God.” I looked over at Phoebe, feeling the heat flash into my cheeks. Not for the first time, I wished I didn't blush so easily. Auburn hair came with fair skin and freckles and blushes, at least in my case. “What do you mean?” I countered, trying to sound nonchalant and probably failing.

  Her brows hitched up, and she smiled slightly before shrugging. “Nothing, I guess.”

  I cleared my throat and took a swallow of my coffee. “Just had a good night's sleep.”

  “That's always a win,” she replied easily.

  I was relieved when she dropped it at that. We chatted about work as we sipped our coffee. I looked toward the door when I heard someone call Phoebe's name. Glancing over, I saw Madison Glen waving over at our table. She was with Graham, my new boss, the very guy who’d picked up on the tension between Russell and me and told us to stop arguing. He'd even forced us to talk about it.

  Even though there was no way Graham could’ve known what happened last night, I suddenly felt guilty. Madison was stunning. Her almost black hair hung in a glossy fall down her back. She wore fitted jeans tucked into cowboy boots and a belted sweater under a lightweight down jacket. She even looked good in a cute knitted hat. I could never pull off a look like that.

  Phoebe smiled over at her. “Hey, Madison.”

  Madison turned and said something to Graham, and he released her hand as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to her cheek. The only word to describe the look he gave her was hot.

  “Wow, Graham's got it bad,” I commented to Phoebe.

  Her eyes twinkled with her smile. “He sure does.”

  Madison stopped by the table, dividing her gaze between us. “How's it going?” she asked.

  Phoebe nodded and gestured to me. “Good. You two have met, right?”

  Madison looked down at me with a warm smile. “We have, but only for a minute. You’re on Graham’s crew, right?”

  “I am.”

  “I’ve been in town a few weeks longer than you,” she offered with a wink. She slipped her cream-colored knit hat off, smoothing a hand over her hair. “I just moved here a few months ago, and I’m still getting adjusted. Moving somewhere new can be a little intimidating. I'm guessing you're handling it better than me because you're a firefighter.”

  The uncertainty that flickered in her eyes relaxed me. While she was gorgeous, her openness about the travails of moving somewhere new mirrored my own insecurities. “I don't know about that. I can handle a fire, but moving is always a challenge.”

  “I'm a city girl, and it's easier to be invisible in the city. I like this small town, but it's different,” she observed. “Where are you from?”

  “A small town in Washington, just outside the Cascades.”

  “So, you know the small town drill, then?” Her lips quirked with her question.

  I shrugged. “Sort of. I have learned that rentals are hard to come by here.”

  Madison chuckled. “Now, I lucked out there. I inherited my grandfather's place. That's what brought me here.”

  “You want to sit with us?” Phoebe asked.

  Madison glanced over her shoulder toward Graham, who was now at the front of the line, then looked back at Phoebe. “Sure. Graham and I drove here in separate cars because he's headed into the station after this.”

  She sat down in one of the empty chairs across from me. “So, did you know Graham before you moved here?” I asked.

  Her hair swung on her shoulders when she shook her head. “I didn’t know anyone. It's a new relationship.” A tinge of pink crested on her cheeks.

  “He's a good boss,” I offered.

  “And a really nice guy,” Phoebe added.

  “You've known him for a long time because you grew up here, right?” Madison prompted when she looked toward Phoebe.

  Phoebe nodded. “That’s right. Graham's always been a good guy. He grew
up fast when he had Allie.”

  I'd heard Graham was a single father, but it still surprised me. “How old is his daughter?” I interjected.

  Madison’s lips twitched at the corners. “She's a freshman in high school, just turned fourteen. She's a good kid, but she's definitely been testing him lately.”

  At that moment, Graham arrived beside our table, immediately handing Madison a coffee cup and a plate with a bagel on it.

  “The bagels here are really good,” I commented.

  “I know. I was so relieved when I got a job because then I didn't have to worry about cutting back on my coffee time and bagels here,” she said with a little laugh.

  Graham chuckled, dipping his head in acknowledgment to Phoebe and me. “I'm headed to the station. Will I see you two there?”

  Phoebe cocked her head to the side. “Noooo,” she said slowly. “Our crew isn't on duty this weekend. Why are you going in?”

  Madison's laughter rang out, and she looked up at him. “He's a workaholic.”

  Graham shifted on his feet, looking sheepish. “I'm just doing a little paperwork, that's all. I'm only working half the day.” I was relieved at his explanation. He didn't seem like the kind of boss who expected us to be working when we weren't on duty, but I was still new enough that I wasn't totally sure. “I’d better get going. I'll see you tonight.” When he looked down at Madison, the intimacy flickering in his eyes made my heart squeeze, and I felt as if I should look away.

  Madison blinked up at him, reaching for his hand and giving it a little tug. He leaned down and dropped a lingering kiss on her lips before straightening. “Yes, you'll see me later.” She waved with her fingers, her nails perfectly done, of course, as he left.

  Phoebe cast Madison a sideways look. “That man has got it bad for you.”

  Madison flushed, shrugging. “I'm not so sure.”

  “Uh, I may not know you well, but I have to agree with Phoebe on that,” I offered dryly.

  Madison took a deep breath and a sip of her coffee. “Maybe he does, but I’m not used to it.” After another sip of coffee, she divided her gaze between us. “What are you two up to today?”

  “Meeting for coffee,” Phoebe replied with a laugh.

  “Well, I'm headed to Anchorage for some errands. Want to keep me company?” Madison asked.

  As soon as she looked at us, uncertainty flickered in her eyes, and she began to open her mouth again before Phoebe interjected quickly. “Of course! Can we go to Costco?”

  “Oh, there's a Costco in Anchorage?” I cut in.

  Phoebe nodded firmly. “There are two.”

  “Well, count me in.”

  “We can do whatever you want. I just need to drop some paperwork off at the office. I'm also trying to make friends. In order to do that, I’ve been told I actually have to reach out to people,” Madison explained.

  Phoebe gave her an understanding look. “It's hard to make friends when you're a grown-up.”

  Since we were on the topic, I nodded in agreement. “It's weird.”

  “Well, we have a shopping trip,” Madison said. “Plus, I want to hear about Russell.”

  The minute Madison said that, I felt a blush creeping up my cheeks. “What do you mean?” I ground out.

  “Graham thinks Russell likes you, and now you're roommates.”

  I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. I wasn't going to fess up about last night because that would be a problem. Opening them, I tried to shrug casually. “I have no idea what Russell thinks or if he likes me. Plus, we're not really roommates.”

  “What do you mean?” Phoebe asked.

  “I rent the upstairs, and he's downstairs. It's kind of like two separate apartments, but in the same house.”

  Madison’s lips twitched, and there was a mischievous glint in her eyes. Phoebe was responding to a text on her phone while Madison took a bite of her bagel. When she finished chewing, she offered, “Sure, you're not roommates then. Whatever makes it easier for you.”

  Phoebe set her phone down, chiming in with, “I can't speak for Russell, but I think you have a crush on him.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Paisley

  The weekend passed, and by some miracle, Russell and I managed to politely avoid each other at the house. I couldn't say it was entirely on purpose, but it worked out that way. It was fine because I needed it to be that way. I wasn't ready to face him, not after what had transpired between us. I needed a little space to gather my composure and avoid doing something completely stupid.

  Monday rolled around, and I went to work. Everything was fine. Fine, meaning that Russell and I managed to make eye contact, and I didn't combust on the spot. Fine, meaning that we did a training exercise and even handled a nearby call. Everything was fine. We weren't arguing. However, I was tense, like seriously tense, but I managed. Fortunately, with twenty-five people on our crew, I didn't have to be close to Russell at all times.

  He seemed to have put a moratorium on teasing me. I wanted him to tease me, and I missed it, and I hated that I missed it. He was a magnet, and I was steel, like that song. I kept looking at him again and again and again, and then yanking my eyes away. It was beyond annoying.

  Adding to my frustration, he seemed more successful at not looking at me. Or at least that was how it felt. One day after we returned to the station, I showered in the small locker area for the women and changed. When I walked through the reception area, I saw Maisie chatting with Madison, who saw me immediately and waved. “Hey!”

  Madison looked amazing with her hair up in a twist and a soft-looking sweater outlining her curves. She looked at Maisie. “We went to Anchorage together. I'm making friends.”

  I angled over, smiling when I stopped at the circular desk where Maisie sat. “We went to Costco together. I think that's a true bonding experience,” I offered.

  Maisie smiled at us. “I love Costco.”

  “Who doesn’t love Costco? It’s the best,” Madison insisted firmly. “When I moved up here from Houston, I was concerned I’d feel like I was in the middle of nowhere. Not that I like to shop all that much, but a good grocery store is important. The local one here is decent, but Anchorage is not even an hour away.”

  Maisie paused to take a call as I asked, “Do you miss the city?”

  Madison shrugged. “Not really. Houston was all I knew before I moved up here, but honestly, I like it here more. We’ll see how I feel after winter, though. It's starting to get cold.”

  Maisie ended her call, catching the tail end of Madison's comment. “You'll be able to handle winter, I promise. I moved up here from California. Maybe that's not as hot as Texas, but you get used to the weather. You've got a nice jacket, so you should be set.” She gestured to Madison's fluffy down jacket.

  Madison smiled. “Graham teases me. I might have overdone it with the online shopping for winter. I have three down coats. He says it's not as cold as I think.”

  Maisie laughed. “It's not so bad. This part of Alaska isn't like up north, where it's dark and below zero for months. It's not dark all winter here.”

  “Is that a myth?” Madison asked.

  Maisie rolled her eyes. “Not entirely. The days are shorter, but the sun only goes away completely up north. Here, the sun comes up around nine and sets around four.”

  The door to the back hallway opened, and Russell and Graham came walking through. Graham stopped at Madison’s side, sliding his arm around her waist. “Hey there. Give me ten minutes, and I'll be ready.”

  “Ten whole minutes?” she teased.

  Graham arched a brow. “Yes, you’re early.” He glanced at his watch.

  “I'll chat with the girls. It's no big deal,” she offered with a slow smile.

  My eyes, because of that whole magnet issue, were drawn to Russell. For the first time in days, I caught him looking at me. It felt as if an electrical line sparked in the air between us. I immediately looked away, my gaze landing on Maisie, who gave me a knowing look. A moment l
ater, Graham and Russell had disappeared through the opposite doorway into the police station side of the building.

  Maisie looked from me to Madison, just as Madison said, “Wow, that was a look.”

  I stayed quiet while my cheeks flamed. Maisie chimed in with, “Agreed.”

  Now I couldn't help myself. “What are you talking about?”

  “The way Russell looked at you, and the way you looked at him,” Madison pointed out.

  I sighed. “There was no look. There's no there there.”

  “If you say so,” Maisie sing-songed.

  I was relieved when a call came in for Maisie, and our conversation was cut short.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Russell

  A full week passed where Paisley and I did a dance of calculated avoidance. While I couldn't say for sure it was calculated on her part, it certainly was on mine. The most interaction we had was at work, and every encounter, no matter how brief, had a thread of fiery tension running through it. I didn't even know what to do with how good it had been with her. It was honestly the single best night I’d ever had.

  It burned like a flare in the sky. The recollection of sensations flamed hot every time I saw her. It took an effort to keep my focus on work. I managed, somehow, to avoid being alone with her at the house. I was a busy guy. I'd always been a busy guy, so I found one convenient excuse after another to be occupied.

  It rankled that we shared the same work schedule. I’d shifted from being annoyed about my attraction to her to being annoyed that I’d given in to it. I wanted nothing more than more with her, but tumbling into bed with her again wouldn’t be smart.

  I knew how insanely good it felt to be with her. I knew how silky smooth her skin was. I knew she had freckles scattered like constellations on her body. I knew the way the weight of her breast felt in my palm and how her nipple ruched tightly under the brush of my thumb. I knew she tasted sweet and musky. I knew she was warm. And I knew what it felt like to come inside her when she trembled beneath me.