Finding Home with You

by Claire Raye

  “How did you know how to make all those cupcakes?” I ask him and he chuckles a little. It’s not something most guys would know how to do, let alone most guys I would get involved with.

  Ryan shifts so he’s looking at me, putting a small bit of distance between us as we lie side by side on the bed. He reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear and gives me the cheekiest grin before he answers me.

  “What if I told you I paid someone else to make them so I could impress you?” he says, but the smirk on his face gives him away and I swat him on the chest with my hand.

  “You’re a liar,” I quip back, and this time he laughs, his voice hoarse with sleep still, but something about it is incredibly sexy.

  “I am,” he retorts back and this time it’s me that laughs.

  “So seriously, the cupcakes?” I ask, my elbow now propped up and my head resting on my hand, a questioning look on my face.

  “My mom,” he says, casually like everyone’s mom teaches them how to bake in their spare time. “She had me in the kitchen with her for as long as I can remember. I have three sisters and being the only boy was never an excuse to not help out.” He shrugs his shoulders again like it’s nothing.

  “That’s really cool. I think I’d like your mom,” I say and then immediately regret my words. Why the hell would I say that? It implies that I want to meet his family or that I think this is a full-on relationship.

  I roll away from him, mortified by my comment, but Ryan senses my unease and quickly pulls me back toward him.

  “Erin,” he murmurs, “You would like my mom and she’s going to love you.”

  My stomach feels like it has just flipped over and I swear to god he loves to shock me. My heart is racing in my chest, the sound filling my ears, and I hope like hell that he doesn’t notice my face flush embarrassingly.

  “I love that I can make you blush, Red,” Ryan whispers, his mouth next to my ear, as his warm breath against my neck causes goose bumps to spread across my skin.

  It’s hard to rattle me, it’s even more difficult to make me fall silent, but holy shit if Ryan Summers isn’t a professional at knowing how to turn my life upside down.

  “Do you want to know a secret?” he asks and all I can do is nod my head in response, afraid I’ll say something stupid and give myself away even more. “I love to cook. Like I fucking love it.”

  I laugh out loud and not because of what he’s said but because he couldn’t be any more fucking perfect.

  “I’m a terrible cook,” I admit and now it’s him who is laughing.

  “What? That’s not possible. You were supposed to bake three dozen cupcakes for Kelsey, which I want to add, I made four dozen.” He winks at me, a confident look on his face.

  He’s such an overachieving cheeky shit, and again I playfully swat at him before explaining myself.

  “I can bake, and I bake pretty damn well,” I say, tooting my own horn a bit; if he can do it, so can I. “But I can’t cook to save my life. I’d starve if it wasn’t for carry out and frozen pizza.”

  “I find that hard to believe. If you can bake, then you can cook.”

  I shake my head in response and Ryan rolls his eyes muttering something about me being full of shit and him needing to give me cooking lessons.

  The room falls silent again and I run my fingers through his hair wondering if life could get any better than this. My shit day yesterday turned into the perfect night with the perfect man, only to start off again with the perfect morning. I don’t have any idea how I got this lucky.

  “Now about that thank you I’m owed…” Ryan jokes, breaking the silence, a look on his face that says he’s ready to collect now. I laugh out loud and give his ass a little smack before pushing him away from me.

  “Another time,” I respond back, climbing out of bed quickly, his eyes trailing over my half-naked body. “We’ve gotta help Kelsey get ready for Beck’s party. You don’t want all those amazing cupcakes to go to waste now, do you?”

  “Ugh…” Ryan exhales hard running his hand through his hair. “Put some clothes on or I’ll be eating cupcakes off that fine ass body of yours instead. I don’t give a shit about that party.”

  Laughing at him, I wink before heading to the bathroom. I hear Ryan scrambling out of the bed and I yell, “Don’t you dare come in here! I’m showering alone or we both know, we’ll never get to the party.”

  “Erin!” he screams and I hear him fall back onto the bed letting out a loud groan.

  A few hours, many swats of a hand and a few grumbles about not being allowed to straighten my hair in my underwear later, we are on our way to Beck’s birthday party.

  When we walk in Kelsey is freaking out about us being late, not that we are actually late seeing as the party doesn’t start for another three hours, but she’s still about to lose her shit.

  Ryan has the cupcakes stacked in his arms three boxes high as I guide him over to the bar to set them down. Kelsey immediately opens the top box and gasps out loud.

  “Erin! Oh my fucking god, these look amazing!” She throws her arms around my neck in an overly excited, but undeserved hug.

  “Don’t thank me,” I say, eyeing Ryan from where’s he’s plunked his ass on a bar stool next to Beck.

  “No way,” Kelsey shouts, shoving me slightly before she runs over to Ryan and nearly knocks him over with an even bigger hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  “No problem, beautiful girl,” Ryan says before adding, “How else am I going to get you to leave this asshole and marry me?” Ryan looks over at me and winks, making me smile like a damn fool.

  “Oh, I don’t think this had anything to do with me,” Kelsey says, looking at me before tossing a thumb in the direction of the stockroom.

  I shake my head at her, but her persistent little ass glares at me, and then she storms over, grabs me by the wrist and drags me back there.

  “What the hell is going on between you two?” she demands.

  I stand there trying to figure out how to answer her question, seeing as I’m not exactly sure myself. Kelsey begins to tap her foot and I roll my eyes, but that doesn’t seem to stop her from prodding for more information.

  “Seriously, are you going to stand there and deny that there isn’t something going on?”

  “No,” I say, giving her just a little as I try to sort out what I should say, but in that instant I just blurt it out. “I like him. A lot.”

  “Clearly.”

  I don’t know what comes over me but I suddenly turn into a teenage girl. “Oh my god, Kelsey. I’m losing my mind with this boy. He’s so hot and the sex is amazing, like legit the best I’ve ever had, and he makes me laugh and he makes me so mad that I want to strangle him, but then I want to fuck him.” I suck in a deep breath and continue my rant while Kelsey stands there wide-eyed and grinning. “He’s maddening and sexy and challenging and fuck me.”

  She laughs before pulling me into a hug. “I think you’re falling for him,” she says and I’ll I can say is, “Totes.”

  Kelsey stops short of the door and her face falls quickly. “I hate to bring this up, but have you said anything to Ryan about your dad and that situation?” She raises her eyebrows not needing to add anymore since we both know what she means by ‘that situation’.

  I shake my head, and suck my bottom lip into my mouth. Kelsey is one of the only people who know what I ran from and how serious it became. She took me in when I had nowhere else to go, and she enlisted Finn’s help when I was scared and unsure how far things would go.

  “I know it’s been a while, Erin, but the whole thing is still really scary. You changed your entire life basically, and the fact that you’ve changed your number again says it’s not working as well as we all like to believe.”

  “I know, I know,” I say, placating her but also trying to convince myself it’s over, that I have nothing to fear. I’m fully aware that it isn’t over. I’ve been getting semi-r
egular phone calls from unknown numbers. I’ve had moments where I swear I’m being followed. The fact that I’ve had to change my phone number again is proof that it isn’t. “I don’t really want to involve Ryan if this thing between us isn’t serious.”

  Kelsey laughs out loud and shakes her head at me. “I’m pretty sure we just established that this thing you’ve got going on is serious.”

  I’m making excuses and I know it, but it’s easier for me to ignore it, to act like it doesn’t exist rather than deal with it. Out of sight, out of mind. I didn’t ask for any of this, and being born into a family with my father’s connections makes me tied to it for life.

  Smiling at her, I roll my eyes. “You’re right. I need to talk to him about it, but today’s not the day. It’s Beck’s party and we’re going to get drunk,” I say, pushing the whole thing out of my mind.

  Kelsey laughs again; taking my hand she pulls me out of the storeroom so we can finish setting up for the party.

  The guests start to arrive and I’m finally able to get back to Ryan who has been chatting at the bar with Beck and Pop. When I nestle up to the side of him, he slips his arm around my waist and pulls me into the side of his body.

  Ryan presses a few simple kisses to the top of my head before saying, “I don’t think I told you, but you look beautiful tonight.” He runs his hand up and down my back before stopping and patting me on the butt.

  “Thank you,” I murmur back as I press up on my toes and kiss his mouth.

  Chapter Five

  Ryan

  Erin’s mouth is soft against mine and when she eventually pulls back, she grins up at me. She is beautiful, really beautiful. I remember it was the first thing I noticed about her when we met six months ago in this very pub. Memories of that night are still fresh and I can’t resist adding, “Wanna hit the ladies’ room, for old time’s sake?”

  Now she’s giggling like a teenager and the possessive caveman side of me loves the light blush that’s creeping up her cheeks. I pull her closer, pressing a hard kiss to her mouth this time as I wonder how I can get us back there without anyone noticing.

  “Christ, you two are as bad as they are,” a deep voice says and when I pull back from Erin, I see Beck’s dad laughing at us. I glance over and see Beck, who’s got Kelsey sitting on his lap, doing pretty much the same thing. When he finally looks up, he laughs and I can’t stop the grin either.

  This kind of set up, Beck and me with two hot girls was once a very familiar scenario, back in Boston, heading to Finnigan’s after work, where we’d pick up a couple of random girls. Back then it was easy and fun and never going to be anything serious. Neither of us was looking for something long-term with the women we fucked, it was just a way of blowing off steam. Getting laid so we could release the tension of a job that regularly brought us into contact with the city’s worst kind of people.

  But now, here in Rockport, it all feels so different. I know Beck is totally head over heels with his girl. The fact that he left his job in Boston and moved back here to be with Kelsey is proof of that. And as much as I love my job, I’m beginning to see the appeal of kick-starting that dream I have of life in a small town with the woman I love.

  Christ, did I just admit I love her?

  I glance at Erin and see she’s smiling, teasing Beck’s dad about needing to find him a woman. She’s so animated and alive, her eyes sparkling as she starts to make him blush now. Just watching her makes my heart pound in my chest with want.

  I knew when I first met her that there was something special about her. It wasn’t just that she was beautiful or that she had the balls to stand up to me, to push back when I deliberately tried to get a rise out of her. It was all the other things that went with her too. Her loyalty and love for her friends was amazing, as was her love for this town and all of the people in it. She might bitch about all the parents that corner her in the supermarket for a random parent-teacher conference, but I know she loves her job and would do anything for the kids she teaches. I know she’d make a fantastic mom too.

  Jesus christ, Ryan, I think to myself. I need to get a grip before I have her knocked up and wearing a ring. As much as that idea appeals to me, I promised her we’d take things slow, just see what happens. I get the feeling this is something that Erin needs, that with the things from her past that I know she’s not telling me, if I was to rush this or push harder, she’d run for the hills. She’s so guarded, only occasionally letting me see the vulnerable woman she can sometimes be like she did last night. And as much as I might want to know everything, the signs are all there telling me that I need to take this slow. And I will, because right now, I think I’d do just about anything for this girl.

  “What are you thinking about?” Erin whispers, her lips at my ear.

  I grin as I pull her close, kissing her cheek before putting my mouth to her ear. “I’m thinking about what happens when we get home tonight,” I whisper, my lips brushing over her ear and making her shiver. “About how I’m going to lay you out in front of that fireplace you have and take some of that left-over chocolate frosting I made and find a way to enjoy the two of you together.”

  Erin presses against me as she lets out a soft moan. Her chest is pushed hard against mine and even though she’s wearing a thick sweater, I can feel her nipples, hard and tight, as they press against me.

  “I think I’ll start by spreading it all over your skin,” I say. “All over your amazing tits, your thighs, your ass and your already sweet little pussy,” I whisper, smiling as I feel her start to pant against me. “Then,” I tease, my arm around her waist squeezing tighter. “Then, I’m going to slowly lick it all off you.”

  “Ryan,” she groans and I can see her eyes are half closed as though she’s drunk.

  “What, baby?” I ask, feigning innocence.

  “You’re fucking killing me here.”

  I laugh, kissing her before saying, “Death by sex, what a way to go.” Erin groans again and grabs my hand as she pulls me off the stool and toward the ladies’ room at the back of the pub. “Where are you taking me, Red?” I ask, grinning like an idiot as I follow her.

  She shoots me a wickedly seductive look over her shoulder that nearly has me coming in my pants. “The ladies’ room,” she says, her eyes shining. “You owe me big time for that little tease.”

  I laugh as she pulls me inside and locks the door behind us. “Anything you say, Red. Anything you say.”

  When we finally emerge, Beck is all but laughing his ass off at us. Erin shoots him a wink as she smacks me on the ass and walks off to chat to Kelsey.

  “Shit man, I’m gonna have to disinfect that bathroom with all the filthy shit you two do in there.”

  I grin as I take a seat, accepting the beer he hands me. “Don’t tell me you and Kelsey haven’t messed this place up after hours.”

  “Whatever,” Beck says, shrugging, even though the grin on his face tells me that’s exactly what they’ve done. “So how’s work going?” he asks, changing the subject.

  Now it’s me shrugging. “I dunno,” I admit. “I really don’t know how you put up with all the bureaucratic bullshit, Beck. It’s killing me.”

  Beck laughs as he takes another sip of beer. “Welcome to senior management, my friend.”

  “Yeah,” I acknowledge. “I mean don’t get me wrong, the extra pay and responsibility is great. But I didn’t become a cop to sit behind a desk or kiss someone’s ass in a pointless meeting or argue with HR about needing money for something they can barely pronounce, let alone know what to do with.” I exhale hard, suddenly relieved at being able to get this stuff off my chest. I always knew it was going to be an adjustment, but somehow I didn’t think it would be this draining.

  “Not to mention I’m not there, so of course it’s boring as batshit,” Beck adds.

  “Yeah, it is actually,” I admit. “I mean I get why you left and I’d never want you to give this up, but seriously, it’s no fun without
you there.” And it isn’t. It was hard enough losing my drinking buddy and friend, but losing my partner was hard too. Beck and I had worked together for as long as I could remember and it had always just worked. We knew how to read each other and knew exactly what a situation called for, without ever having to discuss it.

  Beck smiles a little, a strange look on his face as he says, “Maybe it’s time you made a change too.”

  I turn to look at him, but he’s watching Kelsey, who’s talking to Erin, both of them laughing as they gesture wildly about something neither of us will ever understand. I’m about to say something about him being right, that as much as I haven’t wanted to admit it, it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. But then the girls catch us watching them, both of them smiling widely as they walk over and the moment is lost.

  Chapter Six

  Erin

  A knot forms in my stomach, pulling tighter as I walk closer. I can see a change in Ryan that tells me he wants more.

  I can’t even begin to process what this conversation will look like because I know Ryan won’t handle it well. Hell, even I don’t handle it well and it was my life for eighteen plus years.

  Growing up, I had no idea my family was different. It wasn’t until I was in high school that people started to make comments on my last name, whisper about me as I walked down the halls, and eventually any friendships I had slowly died.

  I always just assumed my father’s job made it difficult for people to understand our lifestyle; growing up wealthy will do that, and after a while, I just ended up latching on to the kids of the people who worked for my father. They understood; they would ultimately work for my father one day and I would marry one of them. It was what was expected, it was what was known, but I had no idea how truly awful this life I was born into was.