Daze of Reality

by Molly Barrett

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  After a long week of managing to dodge Stroud, John had still been frustratingly unable to contact Derek. There seemed to be a more immediate matter at hand however. It was poker night. Normally this would finally be a chance for John to sit back and relax from the stressors surrounding him, but tonight he was on a mission. It was his night to play host for cards, and Caroline had taken the twins over to Alex’s while Christopher was staying with one of his buddies. It was the perfect time to do some surveillance work of his own.

  After speaking with Derek about the possibility of one of Stroud’s spies having infiltrated John’s trust and his home, John had swept the place for intruding devices and then set up a few of his own. If there was someone snooping around his house, he was going to hear, see and record their actions. It was still creeping him out knowing Devin and Derek’s people had been watching him so closely at times, but for now he needed their help.

  “Full fucking house,” Craig called out over the rich atmosphere of beer, cigars, baseball, and good friends shooting the shit. As he stood and flaunted his hand Craig got more than a few cards tossed in his direction.

  “Man, me thinks that asshole is cheating,” Seth sounded off as he polished off his first six pack.

  “Me thinks me has to take a leak,” Craig cheerfully came back.

  “Yeah, I bet you’re just going to shove one of those cards up your ass seeing as how you seem to keep pulling them out of it,” Seth voiced loudly in annoyance.

  “Now, now don’t be a sore loser, Seth,” John laughed.

  “Whatever, I got to piss too. I’ll just go to the bathroom downstairs,” Seth then announced.

  “Alright, we’ll just take a break,” Trent said. “Let’s just go watch the game downstairs. I done lost enough cash off you bitches tonight.”

  “I second that,” Tara agreed. “I’ll go on down and get Seth and I a seat as well. He’s going to need me to soak his wounds.”

  “Maybe Craig and I should go; he’s kind of been an ass to Seth tonight. I don’t want their drunken asses getting into it,” Lindsey offered.

  “Craig is always an ass,” John laughed. “Don’t worry about it. They’ll be fine, or I’ll kick them out.”

  “That’s all we need is a free for all with the three of you. Why can’t the three of you behave better, like Trent here?” Lindsey questioned.

  “Hey, what can I say, I’m a lover not a fighter, Baby,” Trent winked.

  As the group moved down the stairs, John almost forgot that he was watching them, spying on his own people. Sure there were different levels of friendship and trust in life, Dave had taught him that. In the grand scheme of things as they say, John really didn’t fully trust that many people. He had trusted that these people here though had his back to a point that he didn’t need to turn around, and he was slipping right back into that comfort zone, if only for a moment.

  “Where the hell is Craig?” Seth called out as the minutes ticked by in the game. “He’s been upstairs on the shitter for like forever now.”

  “I’ll go see about him,” John announced promptly. Normally he would have done this out of concern for his friend, but tonight he couldn’t help but have that dark thought in the back of his mind. No, surely Craig couldn’t be bought off. Craig was John’s best friend from work, he refused to believe that. Craig had probably passed out while he was sitting on the freaking toilet. Whatever the case, as John walked up the stairs he felt a bit dizzy.

  “Craig, hey man where you at?” John yelled out drunkenly as he arrived at the top of the staircase. He didn’t hear a reply. “Craig?”

  John walked toward the hallway and saw the bathroom dark and empty. After flicking the switch to confirm the emptiness, he continued cautiously down the hallway and completely froze as he caught the glimpse of a figure slumped over inside Kaden’s darkened bedroom.

  “Craig? What the fuck?”

  “I hate my life, Man,” Craig whispered almost inaudibly.

  “What the hell are you doing in here? We were all wondering if you fell in the damn shitter.”

  “What’s it like, John? Holding the little shits in your arms, having a son you know, because I sure as hell wouldn’t know a damn thing about it.”

  “What’s this about, Man?”

  “Lindsey’s pregnant.”

  “Damn.”

  “It’s not mine, its Bryan’s. She still wants to keep it, and she says she still wants me. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that shit? I mean I told her I’ll try but now that asshole Bryan is going to be a part of our life for the rest of our lives. I wanted to enjoy getting Lindsey pregnant; I wanted that to be ours you know, Man. Now I don’t know that I shouldn’t just hand her right back to that asshole Bryan and just say the hell with it.”

  “Look man, if you love her you will find a way to work it out. Right now I think that you’re too drunk to think too clearly about it. Let your woman take you home, make sweet love to her, and talk about it in the morning.”

  “Yeah man, I’m ah, sorry to fall apart on you like this.”

  “Everything alright?” Lindsey softly cooed as she leaned down beside the boys.

  “Just take this guy home, and take good care of him,” John pleaded quietly winking.

  “What happened to tonight’s big winner, John?” Tara called out as she glanced up to John’s reentrance.

  “I’m afraid he’s over his limit. Lindsey took him home. “Where’s Seth?”

  “Bathroom.”

  “Figures. I don’t know about you Trent but I’m about ready to call it with this game getting so shitty. The girls will be back soon.”

  “Yeah, I’m down with that John. Sucks your brother couldn’t make it. I sure hope he and your daddy catch some big ones on that fishing trip of theirs.”

  “Oh I’m sure there’ll be stories.”

  “Ha ha. Goodnight, Lieutenant.”

  “Night guys.”

  John woke up to a banging on his door. He rolled over to see an empty bed and quickly rose up to throw on a shirt to compliment his sweatpants he had fallen asleep in.

  “John can you get the door, I’m nursing?” Caroline called out.

  John came to answer the door, half-awake hangover in hand.

  “Hey dad I forgot my key, sorry. Can Mike come in for a minute?”

  John’s eyes moved to Mike’s, who looked like he would make a good linebacker on the varsity football team. John hardly felt like standing in his way he laughed to himself. “Sure, that’s fine, Chris.” What John now noticed was a very beautiful woman coming up behind them.

  “Hey, I’m sorry, John is it?”

  “Yeah, it is.”

  “I’m Michael’s mother, Erin. Christopher is a wonderful boy, I believe he and Mike are going to try out for the varsity football team next year; not many freshman make it. It’s all my son talks about, trying out for the team. Your son and his friends have been very kind to him since we moved here this last school year, and I’m sure that the boys will all have so much fun this summer.”

  “Nice to meet you, Erin. Yeah, Chris is really big into football, too.”

  “And quite the talented quarterback, yet he is a shy one.”

  “Um, yeah.” This was awkward. John didn’t like chatting casually like this with people he didn’t know; it made him uncomfortable. Luckily he was about to receive reinforcements.

  “Erin, hi,” Caroline called out as she walked up and gave the woman a hug. “Please do come in.”

  “Of course, thanks, hun. I’m afraid we can’t stay long. Chris had a couple of video games he was going to let Michael borrow. Their having football camp next week if Christopher needs a ride we would be happy to come by to pick him up; it would be no trouble.”

  “Thank you so much.”

  “Ok, I got the games, let’s go,” Michael called out to his mother.

  “Alright it was nice seeing you again Caroline; let us know when you are ready to jump
back in, Dear.”

  “Of course, bye now.”

  As the door closed John had to ask. “Jump back into what?”

  “Oh just that book club thing I used to do.”

  “Book club?”

  “Yes we read a book and then meet to discuss it. All of us would take turns hosting it, kind of like your poker nights. It seems like half the ladies had to quit for one reason or the other, but it’s running full steam now. I hadn’t done it that long. I, um, I was doing it before your accident in the afternoons. I told you about it, John.”

  “No you didn’t. You didn’t tell me about any damn book club,” John annoyingly rolled his eyes while yawning.

  “John, baby it’s okay. It’s no big deal; come here.” Caroline reached for John’s hands and pulled him to her. “The doctors said that there might be some small things that you don’t remember here and there that will come back to you over time. It was just a stupid book club.”

  Caroline felt her husband’s deep tension and leaned in to kiss him. She knew his lack of memory in even small matters such as these was very frustrating for him. She therefore led him straight to the master bedroom where she was determined to make him more willing to forget life’s small annoyances while bathing in its larger pleasures.

  John stripped his shirt back off, angrily tossing it to the floor, as his wife gently closed and locked the door.

  “Caroline I, I’m sorry. Things have been so crazy. I’ve been so tense lately. I might feel lost to the world at times, you know that, but dammit I don’t ever want to feel lost to you.”

  “Oh John, let’s just push it all away right now, so far away from us, okay Baby, all of those outside pressures. I, I need you too baby,” she sighed.

  John took Caroline’s hand as he stared into her gazing eyes, eyes of love and lust, longing and concern. Their lips soon burned with needful desire as Caroline pulled her husband in close, the heat building quickly between them as she herself reached desperately for his strength, his comfort.

  Soon they were both lost from the world as they found new solace in a rekindled passion of yearning hunger for a deep, raw craving of carnality. John stripped Caroline free from the fabric of her loins as she moaned in pleasure before him. As he slid her gently to the bed below, she released herself from her own blouse. John continued his hot passionate kisses down from warm lips to tender neckline while freeing her darkened laces from above.

  John’s warm kisses soon turned to suckling caresses as he slid in appetizers for his wife’s enticing pleasures below. Caroline closed her eyes in deep satisfaction just before reaching out blindly, seductively for her husband’s broad, sexy chest, fingernails now caressing the Lieutenant playfully, excitedly. She gasped out in pleasure and John drew away the dark bottoms blocking his lingering needs, freeing his large member. Soon his wife discovered this release as well, this bareness below as she opened her eyes discovering the blockade’s removal. Her appetizers were quickly removed, and Caroline once again felt the full strength and pleasure that was Lieutenant John Goldman.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The light drawn through her hair flooded the ambiance of the darkened room. She peered out of the window, drawing her attention to the streetlights that set the stage for the night’s gentle waves that were sure to penetrate her enduring solitude. As she at last heard his ritualistic knock upon her door, the long day’s labors and thoughts eased to the back of her mind, all except for one.

  “Finally found your chance to get away I see,” the woman spoke with a delicate smile. Her long, curled, chestnut hair bounced about her shoulders as her deep green eyes followed his presence.

  “Right on schedule, I missed you,” Derek spoke as he removed his coat and tossed it onto the chair near the motel’s doorway. He took her in, as she moved toward him. Placing his arms around her backside, he drew his lips to hers pulling her into a deep kiss. She drove their momentum forcefully towards the bed where she thrust him down hard against the dark sheets. Derek moaned out in pleasure as she ripped away at his shirt, allowing her to pin him down. She began kissing his face, his neck, his broad chest as her fingers followed suite, quickly reaching downwards for her next target…

  Derek caressed her flowing hair, as Leslie now lay quietly upon his chest. She glanced up at him, and he felt a temporary warmth to his cold existence. Leslie was his on again, off again lover, one of the few people he put at least some degree of trust in. She knew some of the man he truly was, probably more than most. He had met her in a distant past, and she accepted her continuous, temporary access into his complicated life. He would sometimes come to her for assistance, seeing as how she had her own little world of connections, and he would come to her for the company of a good fuck as well. He was not in love with this woman, though he did care very much for her.

  “You do always pick the most interesting places for our little rendezvous, Derek.”

  “Yeah, I try to keep it interesting, Honey. It’s good to keep a low profile sometimes.”

  “Well, I’ll be glad when I can whisk you away again, back up north to stay with me for a while, or maybe out of the country once more,” Leslie whispered as she moved into a soft kiss.

  “Mmm, delicious. I’m ah, a little booked up right now,” Derek softly spoke. He knew Leslie was the glamorous type, and enjoyed high end living. He found it amusing, her in these types of environments.

  “I see. Your cute little ass on the line again, huh? You doing more of Watson’s dirty work for him?”

  “Unfortunately, and I’m under that bastard Daniels’ direction. I don’t understand why Watson has Daniels as his field commander in this area, man’s a fucking idiot.” Derek had a strong hatred for Watson who was one of the men at the top of his organization, and for Daniels, who was the man under Watson. Derek was often in hot water with one or the other, many times having the pair pissed at him simultaneously.

  “It seems that way,” Leslie replied as she ran her fingers gently over Derek’s cheek. “I’m glad that you’re wary of him, of Daniels I mean. I don’t like that man either, there’s something about him, something’s not quite right. Have you found out anything else about his background yet, what hole he managed to crawl out of, Darling?”

  “It’s hard to get a hold of anybody’s fucked up beginnings up there, I don’t even know if he knows mine. Watson likes to keep a lid on his scouting methods it seems. Sometimes these fucking bastards just show up with a rank plastered to their ass, no explanations given, it’s Watson’s normal procedure.”

  “Well, he shared John’s profile with you at least, how are the two of you boys getting along?”

  “Shit, you should know I’d never trust a damn cop, I don’t like babysitting duty, playing even part of the game vicariously through that guy is not my style. I hate training pawns.”

  “Well, I know that you prefer conquering the world on your own, Derek, but having someone else on the frontlines to help you along does have its benefits I’m sure. I like you having backup on what’s going on now; things are getting so out of hand it seems. Give him a chance, the two of you might have different motivations for pursuing those power grabbing bastards, but a motivation still lies deep within both of you does it not?”

  “Philosophical bullshit if you ask me, Honey.”

  “Well, who says I’m asking?”

  “Oh is that an order now?”

  “I’m just, worried about you, Derek.”

  “Don’t start that shit. You know I don’t like it.”

  “Don’t like what, hearing someone say they care about you, that they might give a damn,” Leslie spoke as she slowly reached for Derek’s hand.

  Derek rose up, pushing her away. He didn’t have to listen to her rantings about his safety and security. “You know, I don’t want to hear your shit tonight Leslie, I’m not in the mood for your emotional instability.”

  “My emotional instability, I hardly think that I’m the one being unstable at the moment. You know I d
on’t understand why you want to push everyone away that tries to care about you. You are the most self-destructive, narcissistic man I’ve ever met. Maybe you could change if you just let someone give a damn for once.”

  Derek threw on his boxers, followed by his pants. “Honey, I don’t need your sympathetic bullshit.”

  As Derek turned around, Leslie could see the outline of the many scars that decorated his back, old ones blending in with the more recent souvenirs of his multiple captivities and torture sessions imposed by many of the company’s enemies, along with a few of his own. It was so hard getting through to him sometimes, when he threw up his walls. She knew for some reason it made him feel weak for someone to tell him they worried, that they cared; that didn’t mean that she would give up on him however. She knew that the scars sown upon his skin were only mere symbols of the deep scarring within him, and she was determined to work her way through to him.

  “Derek, please. Don’t do this.”

  “I think I’ve wasted enough time in your presence tonight, Woman.”

  “Derek wait, they’ve, they placed another bounty on your head. That’s what I wanted to tell you. It’s starting to get around in my circles, I don’t know if someone dropped the ball or if it was a deliberate leak. They’ll be more and more coming, now that word’s gotten out. Just like before I’m sure; like last time.”

  “Yeah, well makes sense; someone made a pretty penny off Devin’s head rolling, and I’m his fucking replacement on a lot of things. Look, I don’t want you worrying about this, and I don’t want you worrying about me.” With that Derek leaned over to kiss Leslie on the forehead, before heading toward the door.