What's Real

by Daaimah S. Poole

  “I’m not going to tell anyone. Have fun.”

  I had called everybody I owed to settle all my business, except for Sean. If I call him he is going to be asking questions. I’ll deal with him when I get back.

  The first night I slept at Damon’s house he was wonderful. It was just the best moment in my life. First, we got into the hot tub and gave each other massages. He had vanilla candles lit everywhere. We engaged in an intense kissing session. We just held each other, cuddled, and drank champagne. We fell asleep in each other’s arms. I was awakened by gentle kisses to my butt, back, and legs. His kisses started at my foot and traveled up my leg. Damon was making a warm rush come over my body. Everything was playing out like a storybook. It was going too good. What if what my mom said was true? I don’t know what came over me, but I looked Damon in the eyes and said, “Damon, please don’t hurt me.”

  “Where did that come from?” he asked, puzzled.

  “It’s just that everything is moving so fast and I’m here and everybody is saying I’m insane for staying.”

  “I promise I won’t hurt you. Now lie back down,” Damon said as he playfully pushed me back on the bed. And we made love again. Damon put my body in every position possible. Kamasutra enthusiasts would have been proud. I didn’t know I was so flexible.

  Right after our long session the phone rang loudly. Damon told me to answer it.

  “Can I speak to Damon?” a male voice asked.

  “One minute,” I said as I tapped him on the shoulder.

  “Who is this, Alicia?” the man asked.

  “No,” I said as I gave Damon the phone. Damon talked for a few minutes. He hung up and said, “Alicia is my old girlfriend. That was my brother. He didn’t know we broke up.”

  “How long have you been broke up?”

  “A month.”

  “A month.” I was starting to feel like I was Damon’s rebound chick. I got up and went to the bathroom.

  “Come here, Janelle.”

  “What?” I said as I turned around.

  “Sit down. I want to talk to you.” I sat on the bed next to him. He grabbed my hand and said, “Listen, Janelle, I know it seems like we are moving fast and we haven’t got a chance to talk about everything.”

  “We haven’t known each other long enough to tell each other everything,” I said with an attitude.

  “You’re right, Janelle. We can start right now. Since we being honest, tell me where you were coming from that night I met you. You were coming out of the elevator of the hotel.”

  I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to tell Damon I was with Mannis.

  “I was at a party with this guy I met.”

  “Why didn’t he drive you home?”

  “Because the next thing you know he invited me to this room. He tried to make a move on me and I left.”

  “I was wondering what you were doing that night.”

  “You should have asked me. So what is the story on Alicia? Okay, did she really leave you for a woman?”

  “Yeah, I’m not lying. I met her at a strip club, Rolex. I took her personal. I got her to stop dancing, I was taking care of her and her son. I didn’t know she was a dyke. I knew she got high, but I didn’t know she messed with girls. I started getting suspicious about her being a lesbian when her one friend, Shanita, kept calling, getting smart with me and hanging around all the time. Come to find out, that was her girlfriend. The girl was spending the night here when I was at away games. I confronted her and told her that I wasn’t with the gay shit and she had to make a decision. She told me she like dick and pussy and she couldn’t live without either. I kicked her out right then and there. I was hurt and I called Carl. And he went and told everybody I fell in love with a trick.”

  “And you still his friend?”

  “Yeah, that’s just Carl. He just is playful. I mean now, if it go down I know he got my back. He was the only one who showed me the ropes when I first got down here. He showed me everything.”

  I was trying to act like I wasn’t fazed. Like he didn’t just drop a bomb on me. But I was. I couldn’t believe what he had just said. It was a hard pill to swallow.

  “So that’s my story, Janelle. Who are you seeing back at home?”

  “Nobody really.”

  “Janelle, I’m not going to hurt you. I don’t want to be hurt either. Okay, baby? I promise you I won’t hurt you.”

  He held me tightly and I felt safe and warm.

  We woke up around 11:00 a.m. I went into the bathroom and heard someone downstairs. I ran into the room and told Damon. He told me it was probably Rita.

  I walked downstairs and spoke to her. She said hi. I asked if she wanted any pancakes, and she said no. We ate breakfast on the patio. I read the Miami Herald a little, then began to clear the table.

  “No, no, sit down, señorita,” Rita said as she stopped me from cleaning up.

  “I’ll help you.”

  “No, no,” she said as she walked away, throwing her hands up, and started speaking fast in Spanish.

  “Damon, what’s wrong with her?” I asked.

  “She wants you to sit down and let her do her job. When she is here, just let her do her thing.”

  “Okay,” I said. I wasn’t used to anyone cleaning up after me.

  Chapter Twenty

  Natalie

  I was so happy to be going home. My cousin Janelle has lost her damn mind. Okay, Damon was cute, but she don’t know him. He could be a crazy football star or not. He seemed nice, but he could have skeletons in his closet. They’ve only known each other a couple of days. Plus, what is she going to tell Aunt Linda? Oh well, I got to go home and fix my situation. Forget her. I got problems of my own. I was still worried about Anthony.

  When we boarded the plane, I threw my carry-on luggage overhead and took my seat. I rested a little easier because I was on my way home, finally.

  We were watching the informational video they show every flight. The one they play that shows you what to do in case of an emergency. They had asked everyone to turn off their electronic devices. I turned off my cell phone and sat back and closed my eyes. This girl the next row over was still on her cell talking loudly. I guess she didn’t hear the announcement. I shot her a glance like, didn’t you hear them? She didn’t care and she continued to ramble on to somebody about how she didn’t know where their fucking sandals was and she didn’t give a damn because she was on her way home. The informational video was still playing and I felt the plane begin to move. All of a sudden the video went off and all of the lights went out on the plane. I couldn’t believe the power had gone out, and the plane jerked a little more.

  I looked over at Tanya and she said, “What the fuck was that?”

  I told her I didn’t know. I unhooked my seat belt and stood up to see what was going on just as the pilot announced that the plane had a power problem that was standard before takeoff and the problem was in the process of being solved.

  A man’s voice from the back of the plane said, “Don’t let that shit happen while we are in the air.” A few people laughed. I didn’t find it funny. Was I supposed to feel secure traveling on a plane whose power went off right before takeoff?

  Then the plane began making a banging noise in the back and all the lights came back on. I asked the stewardess what the banging noise was. She said it was normal and that it was just the gears changing. Wasn’t I on a plane, I thought, and not in a stick-shift car? I didn’t want to feel or hear the gears shifting.

  A few minutes later, we took off. Everything seemed okay. I tried to fall asleep, but I couldn’t. I kept thinking that the plane’s power was going to go off again in the middle of the air.

  “Man, this plane better make it back home,” Tanya said, then, “I’m tired as shit. If we crash I won’t know. I’m going the fuck to sleep. My head is hurting.” She pulled a jacket out of her bag and threw it over her face. She then asked the stewardess for something to drink. She pulled out two p
ills.

  “What’s that, Tanya?”

  “Something that will keep me calm before I beat a bitch up on this plane.”

  “Another Ecstasy pill?”

  “No, a Zannie?”

  “A Xanax.”

  “Yup, you want one?”

  “No!”

  “Well, wake me up in Philly.”

  I tried to read a magazine and just kept praying that I made it home safely to my family. I couldn’t wait to see my baby. As soon as I see Anthony I’m going to hug him and tell him how much I miss him.

  The plane was descending and I could see twinkling lights from the buildings and homes below. I was home. My stomach began to turn and I became so anxious. The plane hit the runway and I tried to be the first to get off. But there were people in front of me being slow grabbing their bags.

  As soon as I managed to get off the plane, I ran to baggage claim. I left Tanya. She would have to find her own way home. I was out. Once I reached baggage claim, the luggage hadn’t even come out yet. I took a seat next to the conveyor belt. Tanya walked up to me and reminded me to throw all the numbers I had in the trash. I told her I’d thrown all the numbers away. If Anthony had found them, I would have been dead. I asked Tanya if she wanted me to drop her off. She said that her friend Walei was coming to get her. I was happy. I didn’t feel like taking her home anyway. She said I should hurry home. The yellow light started blinking and the conveyor belt began to move. I had black luggage. I leaped and grabbed almost every bag that passed me. Everybody had black luggage. At last I saw my bags. I grabbed them and said, “Okay, I got my luggage. I’m out.”

  “All right, good luck. I’ll call you later,” Tanya said.

  My car was at airport parking. I caught the shuttle. The shuttle driver grabbed my luggage and put it in my trunk. I gave him a tip and closed the trunk. I started my car and began to say a silent prayer on the way home. I usually only ask God for really important stuff like to keep my parents, baby, and husband healthy. However, today I was praying to God to help me out with something a little trivial. “God, please don’t let Anthony be mad at me anymore. Please let him get over it.” I hope my prayer works.

  I walked into my house. All the lights were out. I turned the light on and noticed a letter propped up on one of the sofa pillows on the floor. I read it and it said:

  Natalie,

  I hope your little trip was worth losing your family. I don’t want you anymore. God knows what and who you were doing in Miami. You can pick up baby Anthony from your mother’s house.

  Anthony

  I threw down his letter. Anthony was bluffing, but he was still mad. He wanted me to be regretful about what I had done. I was sorry, but maybe if he would have helped me I wouldn’t have gone. I went upstairs, took my clothes out of my suitcase, and put them into my hamper. On my dresser, there was another note from Anthony.

  Natalie, here is my ring.

  Anthony

  I opened my closet door to see all Anthony’s belongings gone. He had packed his clothes and shoes. I walked into the bathroom to see that all his colognes and razors were gone. In our middle room that he used as a gym, all his weights and workout equipment were gone.

  I called Anthony’s mom’s house to talk to him. Her voice mail came on. “Praise the Lord. This is Sister Renee. I am not home, but I’ll call you as soon as I get in. God bless you and have a nice day.” Listening to that message, you would think she was a saint and not the mean devil she really is. I hung up and didn’t leave a message. I didn’t know what to think or do. Anthony was going a little too far. Leaving his wedding ring on the dresser and taking all his clothes was dramatic for Anthony. Real dramatic. What did he want me to say, I’m so sorry, I’ll never do it again? I then tried dialing Anthony’s cell. He didn’t answer. I jumped into my car and drove to my mother’s house. I used my key to get in the door. My mother was sitting on the sofa playing with the baby. I watched them for a moment. My mom’s skin is creamy brown with light freckles and she has reddish-brown hair. She keeps it short and natural. She is usually so busy doing other people’s hair she doesn’t have time for her own. I tried to suck in my tears, but I couldn’t. I busted out and said, “Mommy, Anthony left me because I went on my vacation.” I startled my mom. She jumped up, gave me a hug, and patted my back. Baby Anthony was still smiling.

  “Natalie, what did you expect him to do? You left him. You took wedding vows. To love and obey, and you can’t just get mad and leave for the weekend.”

  “Mom, he gave me his ring back,” I said as I showed her his ring.

  “Well, Nat, you know I tell you how I see it, and you are wrong.”

  “I’m wrong? I never get to do anything! I’m a good wife. He never helped me with the baby and I’m wrong?” I said as I grabbed baby Anthony and took a seat on the cream leather sofa.

  “Baby, you are wrong. You don’t know how your baby’s been eating or if he was missing you. You’re crying now, but when Anthony dropped the baby off he was crying to us.”

  My dad walked in the door, just coming in from work. My dad is a police officer, a sergeant. He had his blue pressed shirt on and blue-striped uniform pants that fit kind of snug on him. He is average height and husky. My mom said I get my weight and complexion from his side of the family, but that’s to be decided, because my mom is not that slim herself.

  He gave me a hug and said, “Stop crying, I talked to Anthony, and he is really upset. But it will all work out, baby girl.” He took off his hat, rubbed his bald head, and then said, “You can’t take vacations without your husband and not let him know.”

  “I know, Dad, but—” I stopped midsentence. There was no use. Nobody was seeing my side. They had talked to Anthony before I got a chance to talk them. I just grabbed my son and went to lie down in my old bedroom. My mom still had my sheets and everything fixed up like when I left. I had a pink canopy bed with stuffed teddy bears and posters. I got into bed and tried to go to sleep. Anthony did not want to go to sleep, so I took him back to my mom. I went back into my room, closed the door, took off my shoes, put the quilt over my head, and began to cry. Right now I didn’t want to talk to anyone but Anthony.

  The next morning my mother brought the baby in and said that he was ready for his bottle and that her client was downstairs. I got up and fixed him a bottle. I made myself scrambled eggs, hot sausage, and toast and I called Anthony.

  “Hello, Anthony, I want to talk to you,” I said as I paced around my mother’s living room waiting for his response.

  “There is nothing to talk about, Natalie. What kind of mother leaves her baby and man for some stupid bitches? You are not anything, Natalie,” Anthony said as he hung up the phone on me once again.

  I called back and his mother, “Holy Ms. Renee,” cussed me out. She called me a slut, tramp, promiscuous prostitute, and bitch and said her son was getting a blood test on that baby. She told me her son deserved so much better than me. Ms. Renee and her son were getting me so frustrated. Anthony is so fucking stupid, I thought. I hate him. He needs to grow the fuck up.

  I walked downstairs into the basement and smelled the aroma of oil sheen, spritz, and burning hair. My mother already had one woman under the dryer. The other she was putting a perm in her hair and one was waiting. Everything was set up like a salon. My mother had three stations with a mirror and hair dryers.

  “Mom, do you need my help today?”

  “No, but I might Saturday.”

  “Okay, I’m about to leave.”

  “Lock the door and call me later.”

  “Is that your grandbaby?” the lady under the dryer asked my mom.

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, he is getting so big. How you doing, Natalie?” the lady under the dryer said.

  “I’m fine. I didn’t know that was you, Ms. Pat,” I said.

  “Well, see you later.”

  I got the baby dressed and went right to Anthony’s mother’s house and knocked on the door. Ms. Renee came to
the door in a gray oversized sweatsuit, white slippers, pink and purple rollers in her dyed black hair, and 1950-cat eye style eyeglasses on. Her glasses sat on the tip of her nose, looking down at me.

  “Is Anthony here?” I asked.

  Ms. Renee looked me and the baby over a couple of times and said, “It’s warm outside. Why you got all the clothes on that baby?”

  “Because he has a summer cold,” I answered her with an annoyed tone. She told me that if I was taking care of him like a mother is supposed to he wouldn’t be sick.

  “I do take care of him. Very well,” I said.

  “Well, I know you wasn’t taking care of him this weekend, because my son had to. Anthony’s not here and don’t come here for him no more. He doesn’t want to speak to you.”

  “Whatever, tell Anthony I was here.”

  Ms. Renee closed the door and I got back into my car. I tried Anthony’s cell phone, but had no luck.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Tanya

  As soon as I got back in the city, I called Walei to make sure he was outside waiting for me. Natalie had run off the plane and left me. I met back up with her at baggage claim. I told her I had a ride and I would see her later. I claimed my luggage and walked outside. I saw Walei standing, with red roses in hand, smiling. He was all happy, looking like a frog. I grabbed the flowers out of his hands and he took my bags.

  “How was your trip?” he asked as he tried to hug me.

  “Please, Walei, I’m tired,” I said as I exchanged my luggage with him for the flowers.

  “These are nice, but you know I like pink roses,” I said as I looked down at the flowers.

  “I know, but I couldn’t find any pink roses. I missed you, Tanya.”

  “Um, Walei, I said I’m tired. I have to meet up with Monica and go see my kids.”

  “Okay, I’ll go get the car.”