Broken and Beautiful

by Ryan, Kendall

  “That’s very impressive. You were so young. There’s not many who can do that at such a young age.”

  “I started working at the age of thirteen and busted my ass for years to save money. Blake Construction started out small at first. Three guys, two of my best friends and myself. Once everyone realized how trustworthy and reliable we were, we got more and more requests from customers and it grew from there until Blake Construction started building homes. That’s how my second business started.”

  “Wow!” She gets ready to refill her glass, but I grab the bottle before she can and do it for her. “Thank you. I think I like you when you’re pouring me wine. Don’t stop.”

  “With the wine?”

  “With the stories, Jensen. I like it when you talk to me. You’re smart, driven, and successful. You should be proud to talk about your life.”

  I swallow and toss my empty bottle away before grabbing another. I’m going to need a few of these to keep talking. “There are things I’m proud of, Cami. But those aren’t the only things that matter, and that’s what makes it hard.”

  We sit in silence for a few moments before she clears her throat. “When I was younger, I used to think I’d be a writer someday. I surprised the hell out of myself when I realized my real passion was to teach. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I love my students and I feel joy when teaching them something new.”

  “I know that feeling,” I say, not thinking. “I get that same feeling when Benny learns something from me. It fills me with pride. I love that kid more than life.”

  Her face softens when I turn to look at her, but she doesn’t speak for a moment. “I should get back and finish grading papers. It’s getting late and I’m sure you don’t want to be here all night working.”

  I watch her as she takes one last sip of her wine, before wiping her palms down the front of her jeans. I notice she always does that when she’s nervous. I’m opening up to her and apparently, it’s getting to her.

  Well… me too.

  “Yeah.” I exhale and walk her to the door. “I’ll see you soon, Cami.”

  “Yeah,” she whispers, before walking outside when I hold the door open for her. “Goodnight, Jensen.”

  I step outside after her and light up a cigarette as I watch her walk through the grass to the next house. Once she reaches the porch, she stops and turns around to look at me. She offers me a small smile and I nod, before she disappears inside.

  Now, hours after Cami left and she’s still on my mind, consuming my thoughts as if she were right here in front of me.

  I know I shouldn’t go next door, but moments later, I’m standing on the porch. This may be a mistake.

  Fuck it.

  Cami

  “I break people.”

  Jensen’s words replay in my head for the hundredth time since I arrived back at Veronica’s. I let it go when I was next door, because he’s the perfect distraction and he knows it. The moment he used his body and mouth on me, I let the subject go instead of pushing for answers about Katherine.

  Where is she?

  Is she in Benny’s life still?

  Does she still love Jensen?

  Does he still love her?

  There are so many questions I need to know. It’s driving me crazy, and it will until those questions are answered. I don’t understand what can be so bad that he’s not willing to talk about her. People hurt people. Whether or not we want to or mean to, it’s going to happen at some point regardless.

  It saddens me he doesn’t believe he deserves to be forgiven for whatever happened between them.

  A light knock sounds on the bedroom door in the middle of me going over assignments from the other day, before Veronica pokes her head inside.

  “Hey, babe. We’re turning in for the night. Want to tell me anything? Anything at all?” She pushes.

  “Not unless you can answer a question for me.” I sit up, hopeful, and her expression turns uneasy.

  “I don’t know, babe. What is it?”

  “Can you tell me who Lucas is?” It’s not the answer I need, but it couldn’t hurt to know. Whoever the guy was he felt the need to attack Jensen in a roomful of people.

  She exhales and nervously taps the door. “Lucas is Katherine’s older brother. He used to be one of Jensen’s best friends. It was Jensen, Ben, and Lucas, all day every day. They were practically inseparable back in the day.”

  “And what about…” I change my mind before asking anything else, because as hard as I know it’s going to be to get any answers about Katherine from Jensen, I feel it’s best if I learn about her from him. “Never mind. Thanks, sweets. Appreciate you telling me about them.”

  She smiles. “Night, babe.”

  “Goodnight.”

  I finished working over an hour ago and crawled into bed for the night, but no matter how much I toss and turn, I can’t get comfortable.

  “Dammit.” I sit up and run my hands through my tangled hair. Jensen is still next door, and I can’t help but wonder what he’s doing or why he’s there so late. As far as I could tell there wasn’t much left to do next door.

  I wanted to stay longer tonight, but the truth is, the more he talked and opened up to me about his life, the more drawn to him I became. The more I wanted for him to be more than just my landlord.

  He made it loud and clear, though, that he’s not cut out for a relationship anymore. That he was terrified of breaking me, and I suppose, a part of me is terrified too. I’ve already had my heart broken once, I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it being broken by the hands of Jensen Blake.

  The hot-as-sin town asshole.

  I lay down and attempt to get comfortable again, but right as my head hits the pillow, there’s a knock at the front door, causing me to sit up again. “Seriously?”

  The guest room is closest to the front of the house, so I’m positive if I barely heard it, Veronica and Peter weren’t able to. I climb out of bed and head for the door, hoping and praying that Douglas hasn’t decided to show up to talk.

  He texted me earlier asking how I was. I ignored it. He doesn’t deserve to know how I’m doing or what I’m doing.

  When I reach the front door, I stand on my tippy toes to peek through the peephole, but whoever is outside is standing too close to get a good view. I’m too tired to really give a crap anyway. All I want is to get some sleep, so I unlock the door and open it.

  My heart does a little dance inside my chest when my eyes land on Jensen standing there in his leather jacket that I love so much on him. He’s so dangerously sexy that he takes my breath away for a moment, before I’m finally able to speak.

  “Jensen. What are you doing here?”

  His eyes lower to my lips before he steps in close. “I didn’t give you a proper goodbye earlier, Cami.”

  “What do you mea—”

  His mouth crashes down on mine, stealing my breath away for the second time within a minute. This man is dangerous for my health and this proves it.

  His hands tangle in my hair and his hard body presses into mine as his kiss deepens, his mouth owning mine in a way it never has before.

  This kiss feels different somehow. Like he’s giving me a piece of him, but all this does is make me want it all. Town asshole or not. I want Jensen Blake, and he just made sure of that in this moment.

  He pulls away, his teeth tugging my lip playfully, before he releases it and presses his forehead to mine. “I’ll see you soon, Cami. I’d say try not to miss me too much, but we both know you will now.”

  I swallow and fight to catch my breath as he walks away and jumps into his truck, driving off.

  He’s such an asshole. He came over here and kissed me to make sure I’d miss him. I’m not sure whether I should be pissed or flattered.

  I’m a little of both at the moment, to be honest.

  Shutting and locking the door, I close my eyes and run my fingers over my lips, the heat of his kiss still burning on my skin.

  If I wasn�
�t thinking about him before, he made damn sure I will be now.

  * * *

  I chose to play catch-up today while my students are at lunch, because unfortunately, I forgot to pack one, and don’t want to risk running into Susan or Douglas in the teachers’ lounge.

  I’m okay when I don’t have to see them or hear their stupid voices, but I’m absolutely still pissed at them both. Anyone would be. Doesn’t mean I still care. I thought I would, but truthfully, if I only think about Douglas when I see him, that’s a sure sign I’m over what we had. Five years together and it took me just over two weeks to get over him. That says a lot.

  Jensen was right when he said Douglas did me a favor. Who knows how things would’ve turned out if we had gotten married and started a family like we planned. My love for him wasn’t as deep as I thought it was, and it took leaving him to figure that out. We would’ve most likely been stuck in a loveless marriage for the kids. Maybe I should be thanking the two of them for screwing behind my back.

  Holly Moore’s paper is in front of me on my desk, my current being graded, when the sound of the door opening and closing has me looking over to see who entered my room. Jensen is standing by the door with a paper sack in hand. It’s from a little fast food joint that I recognize, and I instantly get my hopes up that there’s something in there for me.

  “Jensen.” My heart does the usual silly little dance when his eyes land on mine as I stand up, surprised to see him. “Is that lunch?” I ask, when he holds the sack up.

  “Yeah. A good thing too since you’re sitting there empty-handed on your lunch break. What the hell, Cami?” His eyes harden as he sets the bag down in front of me and pulls out two burgers. “What would you have done if I hadn’t come with food? Not eat?”

  I shrug and open the burger wrapper, my mouth practically watering from the smell. “I forgot to pack a lunch and I’m too busy to run to the teachers’ lounge for food. Thank you. Oh my God, thank you.”

  His lips curl up into a satisfied grin as I dive into my burger like I haven’t eaten in a month. “Fuck, Cami. You owe me later for this.”

  “Anything you want.” I let slip out.

  “Anything, Cami?”

  My body burns with need when he grabs my hips and pulls me flush against his body. “I-uh…” I swallow when his mouth brushes my neck. “How did you know it was my lunch break?” I ask, changing the subject.

  I can’t let his mouth or body control my thinking right now. I’m in my classroom. At the school. Stay strong, Cami.

  He grabs my burger from my hand and tosses it on my desk, before moving his lips up my neck, speaking against it. “I called the office and they told me.”

  “Is that right?”

  He nods, backing me against my desk.

  “I’m going to have to remember to tell the office not to give that info out in the future.”

  “Doesn’t matter, Cami.” He moves his lips around to brush mine. “I’ll just show up whenever the fuck I want to then. Everyone here knows me and no one will stop me.”

  With his thigh, he spreads my legs and moves in between them. His erection pressing against me has me barely able to think. I’m losing any and all self-control and he knows it.

  “Well, then I’ll just have to remember to keep my classroom locked.” I close my eyes and swallow when his hand wraps around my throat and he nips my bottom lip with his teeth. “I should’ve locked it today,” I whisper. “Dammit, Jensen. We can’t do this. Not here.”

  “That only makes it more exciting, Cami. Because now when I leave… you’ll be thinking of all the ways I could’ve fucked you against this desk instead of just doing this.” He moves his lips around to my ear, his fingers sliding up my dress to dip into the front of my panties. “I guarantee Douglas would be able to hear it from across the school. Do you want to test that theory?”

  I bite my bottom lip to keep from moaning out when he slides two fingers inside of me and slowly pumps them in and out. “Jensen…”

  “Relax, Cami. I already told you how many times I’d make you come. I didn’t say where or when.” He growls against my ear as his movements pick up and I can hardly take it for much longer.

  “This isn’t right, Jensen. Someone could walk in.”

  “Let them.”

  I grip his shoulder and squeeze when he shoves his fingers in deeper, not giving a shit about getting caught. “Oh shit,” I pant, about to come around his fingers any second. “Jensen… Oh my God. I’m about to…” My orgasm rocks through me so hard that I yank on his hair, needing something to grip onto.

  He smiles against my lips as I hold onto him for dear life, in fear of falling over if I let go. “Now eat your lunch.” He removes his fingers from my throbbing pussy to suck them clean with his mouth. “I’ve got work to do.”

  “You’re leaving already?” I ask, not ready for him to go. “You’re not going to eat first? You just stop by, give me an orgasm, and leave? Just like that…”

  “Just like that, Cami. I didn’t get any food for myself. I didn’t know how hungry you’d be, so I grabbed two burgers to be safe,” he answers, walking for the door as if he didn’t just finger fuck me behind my desk. He stops once he reaches it and turns back around. “Come by later to sign the contract.”

  He exits the classroom. I sit here fighting to catch my breath and wrap my head around what just happened. He just randomly shows up at my place of work to bring me food and get me off?

  Jensen Blake may just be the sweetest asshole I know.

  After taking a few moments to calm down and catch my breath, I manage to eat my now cold burger and part of the second one. Right as I’m wrapping the half-eaten one up, there’s a knock at the door.

  Panic sets in for a moment, afraid that someone walked by and saw us and sent the Principal to call me out, but that panic dies down the moment I notice Mrs. Peters’ poufy gray perm through the window.

  She’s an older lady who’s been working as the school Librarian for over twenty years. She likes to talk a lot, about everything. She’s harmless.

  Pulling myself together, I stand up and call out for her to come in. She does, offering me a friendly smile. “Afternoon, Cami. Hope you don’t mind me stopping by.”

  I shake my head and clean the garbage from my desk to keep from looking her in the eyes. I’m paranoid that she’ll be able to see how hot and bothered I still am by Jensen’s visit. “No. Not at all. How can I help you?”

  “I couldn’t help but notice Jensen Blake bringing you lunch.” She walks over to join me at my desk, her smile genuine. “That makes me happy, because I was worried about what I heard the other day about Douglas and Susan. I’m glad to see you’re dating someone new. I was concerned for you.”

  My heart speeds up at the mention of Douglas and Susan. I was wondering how long it would take before people around here started talking. I force a smile and sit back down at my desk. “I’m great, Betty. I appreciate you thinking of me.”

  “You know…” She moves in close as if to make sure no one is listening. “I never really cared much for either of them, to be honest. I think you’re better off without him if you want my opinion. Let people talk, because it’ll stop once they see you’ve captured the handsome young Jensen’s heart. It’s been a while since anyone has been able to do that.” She winks and fixes her perm. “I better get back to work. I have a library full of books that need fixing.”

  “And there’s no one better at that than you, Mrs. Peters. Thanks for stopping by.”

  After she’s gone, my lips curve into an unstoppable smile. Not even the fact that people are talking about mine and Douglas’ breakup is enough to stop me from smiling right now.

  Jensen chose to go out of his way to bring me lunch, and he might not think it’s a big deal, but to me it’s huge. My walls are breaking down when it comes to him. Little by little he’s working his way into my heart and it feels good.

  I feel good. Better than I have in a long time. Jensen gives
me butterflies that Douglas was never able to. He both excites and terrifies me, and I think I like it. A lot.

  Jensen

  Fuck, I’m a selfish asshole. Anyone could’ve walked into Cami’s classroom earlier and caught us being inappropriate, yet my need to satisfy her kept me from keeping my hands to myself.

  I didn’t plan on making Cami come. I was supposed to bring her lunch and leave. Truth is, I wanted to do something nice for her after all those times I was a complete jackass. I wanted to show her the guy I once was back before my reputation changed to the town asshole.

  The moment I laid eyes on her, though, to see how stressed she looked behind that desk, I wanted to relax her and make her feel good.

  I wanted to do so much more than just fingerfuck her. I wanted to make her scream so loud that Douglas could hear her. It took a lot of restraint to hold back. Good thing too, because the moment I stepped out of her classroom, two sets of eyes were on me. Cami would’ve lost her job, no doubt.

  “Hey, boss,” Austin calls from the roof, causing me to look up. “Thanks for bringing lunch. We’re about to take a break here soon and the crew is starving. You know you don’t have to do this every day though, right? I mean shit, I don’t want you to stop, but that shit adds up.”

  “I’m not worried about it, Austin. Labor takes energy and energy takes food. It’s a cycle I depend on. I want my guys fed and you guys earn it. So, until you don’t…” I nod and jump into my truck and take off to the next jobsite to drop off food.

  It takes a good hour to make it around to all eight of my crews, but as much as these fuckers piss me off on the daily, they’re hard workers. I may be an asshole most of the time, but buying them lunch is my way of showing them I appreciate them. It’s not breaking my bank account.

  Once all of my guys have food, I head to the office and have a quick lunch while working on payroll.

  Cami will be home in a few hours and I’m anxious to get to her, which is something I haven’t felt in a long time. Usually, I want to bury myself in work, so I don’t have to think or deal with anyone.