When Glass Shatters

by J. P. Grider

  In the midst of Lorraine’s increasing concern, Mimi came back into the kitchen and sat. Her eyes red and watery, she dropped her head in her hands.

  “What happened?” Lorraine wasn’t sure she really wanted to hear the answer.

  “Grandpa had a stroke.”

  Carter punched the table, pushing away from it so he could storm off.

  “Carter, no,” Mimi said, grabbing his wrist as he tried to abandon the room.

  “No.” He ripped his arm from Mimi’s grasp. “No. This isn’t fair. Why is everything happening to us?”

  “Carter,” Lorraine and Mimi said at once, Lorraine standing to hug her brother.

  “No. Don’t touch me. Just...don’t.” He left the room, and soon his feet were pounding up the stairs and his bedroom door slammed above them.

  “Let him go, Lorraine. He needs to process it all.” Mimi wrapped on the table. “Sit. I need to say something.”

  Lorraine, not liking her grandmother’s tone, sat.

  “Grandpa’s not doing well. I can’t just leave him there.” Mimi tapped her fingers on the table while she closed her eyes.

  “Are you gonna have him moved up here?”

  Lorraine knew as soon as Mimi shook her head. “No, Lorraine. Insurance won’t pay for that. I’m going to have to go there.”

  “No.” Lorraine looked at Norah, whose wide eyes were focused on her stepsister.

  “What’s going to happen to us?” Lorraine went to speak the words, but Norah spoke them first.

  “I’m not going to stay there,” Mimi told them. “But I do have to go and see what’s going on.”

  “So, what, do I get to still stay here?” Norah worried.

  “Of course you do, honey. Why wouldn’t you?”

  “Well, my Aunt Margaret wants me to come stay with her.”

  “Oh. Do you want to?”

  “No. No,” Norah rushed the words out. “No. I want to stay with Lorraine.”

  “Okay, then. You’ll stay with Lorraine. Hopefully, I won’t be gone long. I have to talk to the lawyer, though.” Mimi ran a hand down the front of her neck. “I just have to figure out a bunch of things before I go.”

  “When will you leave?

  “Day after tomorrow if I can get a flight.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Mimi went back to Florida one week ago, Norah and Carter went back to school, and Lorraine went back to her job and her studies. Life went on. Lorraine still worried, but she worried less, because everything was falling back into place. She missed her mother like crazy, and she still cried herself to sleep almost every night, but she was going through the motions day by day like a pro.

  Until the first obstacle materialized.

  The refrigerator was empty and Lorraine had no money.

  That’s when it hit her—how did she access her mother’s bank account? And then another horror occurred to her—who was going to pay the bills? The house? The electricity? The heat? Who the heck was paying the cable and their Netflix account? Was there a loan on her mother’s car? Lorraine’s paycheck barely covered the loan for her own Kia. Who was going to pay for the rest? Car insurance? Who took care of these things now?

  She shut the refrigerator door and picked up her phone. “Mimi, Ihavenofoodandidon’tknowwho’sgoingtopayfortheheatandthecarandourNetflixand—”

  “Whoa, Lorraine, calm down,” her grandmother demanded, interrupting Lorraine’s hysteria. “One word at a time. And don’t let them run together.”

  “We’re out of food and I don’t know who’s going to pay for the heat and the car and our Netflix and the cable and I just don’t make enough to—”

  “Rainy,” her grandmother interrupted again. “I left the folder on the desk in the den. Remember, I showed you when I came home from the lawyer’s office.”

  “No. No. I don’t remember any folder.”

  “Okay. Well, it’s there. All their bank information. Everything you need. And your mother’s checkbook is there next to it.”

  Lorraine took a breath. “So, you’re saying I can get money out?”

  “Yes, sweetheart, you can.”

  “And what about the bills? The electricity, the heat, the house?”

  “Well, I was hoping to be back before they had to be done, but I think your mother was doing everything online. I just have to figure out her account information and passwords, but Rainy, one day at a time, ‘kay?”

  “‘Kay. How’s Grandpa?”

  “Not great, but I don’t want to say anything until I have all the details. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Mimi. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Rainy.”

  Lorraine once again felt deeply grateful for her grandmother’s help. What would she do without her?

  ***

  Lorraine was about to find out.

  “Wait. What do you mean you’re not coming now?” she asked her grandmother three days later.

  “Lorraine. I’m sorry. The stroke affected Grandpa more severely than we’d thought. He has to stay in the hospital and then rehab.”

  “Can’t he do that up here?”

  “No, honey. Our insurance doesn’t cover New Jersey healthcare.”

  “Oh my God. What are we gonna do?”

  Mimi sighed; she sounded awfully tired. “Well, I was thinking about that. We have an extra bedroom in the condo. I can have you guys live here with me. You and Norah can have my room, and Carter can have the spare. I’ll sleep on the pullout in the living room.”

  Move to Florida? “Oh, Mimi. We’d have to transfer? And my job.”

  “I can take Norah and Carter if you want to stay.”

  “By myself? No. Oh God.”

  “Rainy, calm down. What about staying put. You’re almost nineteen. The kids are practically teenagers, and I’m only a phone call away. You think that’s possible?”

  “No. Yeah. I don’t know, Meem.” Lorraine sighed. Her heart was thumping, her brain was hurting, and she just wished her mother could be here to take care of things.

  “Think about it. I called the lawyer. There’s a guardianship form you’d have to fill out, and then it’d have to be approved by the court.”

  “Is that gonna be a problem?”

  “No. Not with my consent.”

  Lorraine was quiet for a while. “What if I can’t do it?”

  “Then you guys come live with me.”

  “But Florida? All their friends are here. They graduate middle school next year.” Lorraine knew she was sounding like a whiny child, but she couldn’t help herself; she’d never been responsible for anything more important than showing up to school and work.

  “Until I can figure things out with Grandpa, Lorraine, these are our options.”

  ***

  After the devastating phone call, Lorraine was happy the kids were in their room, because she took one of her mother’s blackberry brandy bottles and took it to Noah’s apartment. He should be here worried about who was going to take care of the kids and where they were going to live. Lorraine thought about calling him, but what would she say? Should she just come out and tell him the truth? His sister may be moving to Florida?

  She untwisted the cap and let the blackberry brandy’s sweetness coat and burn her mouth. It was an ironic drink, she thought. How could something so sweet and thick and syrupy feel hot going down? But that’s what Lorraine liked about it. The burn. The sweet burn. It took a smooth trip down her throat and a quick trip to her head. By the time she’d drank half the bottle, she’d dialed Noah’s phone.

  ***

  Noah answered the phone as soon as he saw her name. “Lorraine?”

  “Hey.”

  “Heeeyyy?”

  There was silence on the other end.

  “Lorraine? Is everything okay?”

  “Um. Well. No.”

  “No? Would you care to explain?” He stayed calm. He wouldn’t worry. Not until she gave him a reason to worry.

  �
��Um.” She stopped.

  “Lorraine. Speak.”

  “Um.”

  “Oh my holy hell, Lorraine,” he shouted. “What happened?”

  “I have a headache.”

  “You called ‘cause you have a—Lorraine, goddammit, did something happen?”

  She didn’t respond, but there was sniffling.

  “Are you crying?”

  “My grandmother’s staying in Florida.”

  “Wait. She’s in Florida?”

  “Mmm-hmmm. And she’s not coming back.”

  Breathe, goddammit. Breathe. “Who has Norah?”

  “What kind of question’s that?” she slurred.

  “Lorraine, is Norah still in New Jersey?”

  “Uh, duh, where else would she be?”

  Shit. He never dealt with the Aunt Margaret situation like he’d promised. “Is she staying in New Jersey?”

  Silence. Again.

  His patience was wearing thin. “Lorraine,” he said slowly. “You called to tell me something. What did you call to tell me?” He heard the tension in his own clipped words, but he was worried now. Lorraine never called him. Almost never. She did call him once—to tell him his father’d died. “What happened, Rain?”

  “I told you,” she yelled. “My grandmother is staying in Florida. We either have to move to Florida, or I have to take care of us. I can’t take care of us; I haven’t even figured out how to take care of me.”

  Noah sighed. Dammit. “I gotta be in Virginia next week.” Why did he just say that? This wasn’t about him.

  “What?” she yelled again. “Who said anything about you? This isn’t about you, Noah.”

  Yes. Noah realized that. “What are you going to do, Lorraine?”

  “I don’t think Norah and Carter would want to move right before eighth grade. Oh, Noah, my head hurts, my ears burn. I don’t remember the blackberry brandy making my ears burn. Do you?”

  Jesus. “Lorraine. You’re drinking?”

  “Just the blackberry brandy.”

  “Just? That stuff’s strong, Rain. You should stop. It won’t help you make decisions.”

  “It will help me forget them.”

  Yeah, that it will. “Well, you don’t have the option of forgetting them. You have to decide.”

  “Me? Why the hell do I? What about you? You get to sit high and pretty in your college dorm and forget about your family?”

  “I live in a house.”

  “Okay?”

  “You said I live in a dorm. I live in a house.”

  “Big—”

  “And I’m not sitting high and pretty; I work hard doing what I do. I’m at the end of wrestling season and getting ready for an important tournament. I—”

  “I I I. Is it always about you, Noah?”

  “Lorraine, you’re drunk. Call me tomorrow when you’re sober and we’ll talk.”

  “No. I wanna talk now. Why can’t you make this decision for us?”

  “It’s not my decision to make.”

  “What about Norah?”

  Yeah. What about Norah?

  “You have nothing to say to that do you? What happens if I send them to my grandmother in Florida, but I stay here? Or what if they stay with me and I mess up their lives? I can’t take care of teenagers, Noah. I can’t even take care of myself.”

  “Yes. We’ve established that.”

  “So, what do we do?”

  Noah squeezed the back of his neck and walked over to the window, which overlooked part of the college campus. “We don’t do anything, Lorraine. You take care of this.” He cringed at his own words. It wasn’t fair to her that he wanted nothing to do with this. In truth, it hurt him to think about, but what could he do? Lorraine shouldn’t have to be responsible for his baby sister, but he couldn’t possibly move Norah in with him. He lived with a bunch of crass, dirty-minded wrestlers. Plus, the house belonged to Duke. They’d never allow an outsider to live with them.

  “That’s not fair.”

  True story.

  “You still there?”

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s not fair, Noah. You’re the smart one. You should be telling me what to do.”

  Noah groaned. “I don’t know, Lorraine. I just don’t.”

  She was crying. Noah could hear the tears. Every few seconds, Lorraine would snort them back up.

  “Can I call you tomorrow, Rain?” He rubbed and rubbed at the back of his neck and closed his eyes.

  “But I don’t know what to do.”

  “Go to sleep. That’s what you do. Sleep off the brandy, and we’ll talk about it in the morning.”

  Snort, snort, snort.

  “Lorraine? Tomorrow. ‘Kay?”

  “Fine.”

  “Go to sleep. It’ll be fine.” He didn’t believe it’d be fine no more than he believed life was fair. But she was drunk and couldn’t handle the truth right now. He doubted she could handle it sober. She may be eighteen, but she was very much a child. He hadn’t decided yet if that was good or bad.

  “Bye, Noah.”

  “Goodnight, Lorraine.” Noah let Lorraine end the call before he hung up. What the hell were they going to do? What was the best thing for Norah? Or Lorraine and Carter even? Was it a decision Lorraine should even be making? Was Norah better off going to Florida? Or even moving to Connecticut with Aunt Margaret?

  Noah couldn’t think about this and prepare for the ACC Championships in Virginia and keep up his perfect grade point average. As he pondered the situation, his roommate Cam entered the room.

  “Just grabbing some things,” Cam said.

  Noah turned back toward the window.

  “Hey. I know you’re not into hanging, but we ordered wings if you want some.”

  “Thanks. Gotta make weight.”

  “You always make it. Since you got back, you hide out here even more than before. Come down.”

  “Maybe.” Noah turned to his friend. “Thanks.”

  Cam shrugged. “Life goes on, bud.” His tone was sympathetic, not cold, and he was right. Life did go on. But was it up to Noah to help move it along?

  To stop the unending thoughts, he tied on his sneakers to go for a run. Before he stepped out the door, Tommy stopped him. “Hey, Mack, we got wings and beer.”

  “No thanks,” he said and kept going.

  As Noah walked out, he overheard Tommy say, “The guy never smiles.” Then he overheard Cam say, “Cut the guy a break; his dad just died.”

  Yeah. That was the least of Noah’s problems. Hopefully, running would derail the activity going on in his brain. Just run. Run far. Run until the only pain left was the burning of his soles.

  ***

  The next morning, Noah called his sister.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Nor. Did I wake you?”

  “No. I was getting up anyway. What’s up?”

  “How are you?”

  “Okay. Why?”

  “I just want to know.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Has Aunt Margaret called you?”

  “Whatnowhy?” she said as one whole word. “Did she call you?”

  “No. No. Calm down. I was just wondering.”

  “Don’t scare me like that. I told you. I don’t want to live with her. I want to stay with Lorraine.”

  Noah guessed Lorraine had yet to tell her about Florida. “Hey, Nor, how is Lorraine?”

  “Eh. Confused all the time.”

  Noah sat up straight. “What do you mean by that?” He ran his hand over his freshly buzzed hair. He always buzzed his hair before a big tournament—for good luck. When wrestling season was over, he’d grow it out again.

  “Just, just different. It’s like her mind’s all over the place and she can’t focus on one thing. I don’t know. It’s hard on her, I guess. She’s always worried about our homework or if we’ve eaten and if we showered. Silly stuff.”

  “Are you helping her?”

  “Helping her do what?”

/>   “All of it. Dishes, vacuuming, whatever adults do to keep a house clean. I don’t know.” Noah was agitated.

  “Oh. Well, no, but I don’t know, she didn’t ask.”

  “Well, you should. She can’t take care of everything on her own. Does Carter help?”

  Norah scoffed. “We don’t even see much of him. He’s either out with friends or in his room.”

  Shit. “Okay. Listen, you should have told me Lorraine’s grandmother’s been in Florida.”

  “You never call.”

  “You can call me.”

  “Since when?”

  Noah moaned. “Since now, Norah. Since I’m all you have left.”

  “You? I’ve never had you. You don’t come home. You just left after the funeral. I get that you couldn’t handle mom’s death, but you’re an adult now. Time to take responsibility.”

  “Whoa. Where is this coming from?”

  “Had a lot of time to think lately.”

  “Fine. Do you have the grandmother’s phone number? I need to call her.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I do, Norah. Do you have it or no?”

  “I have it.”

  Norah gave her brother the number then said goodbye. Noah wondered where her sass suddenly came from, or if she’d had it all along.

  Noah really needed to figure out this family situation, and though he’d told Lorraine he’d talk with her today, he didn’t want to. Lorraine stirred something in him when she was near, or on the other end of the phone, and he didn’t like it. Dealing with her grandmother would be much easier.

  “Mrs. Blanchett?” he asked when she answered.

  “Yes. Who’s this?”

  “It’s Noah, ma’am.”

  “Noah? Please. Call me Mimi. Or at least Corrinne. Now, what’s going on? Everything all right, dear?”

  “Well, Lorraine told me you’re staying in Florida for a while, and well, I was just wondering what’s going on. I, mean, I’m sorry about your husband.”